She was safe in the desert. The desert was reliable, clarifying in the honest bare rock and heat. She knew the lands she called her home. She knew the people. She knew where and what she was in the desert.
She glanced at Nate. Her hand closed over the ring he’d so blithely given her. Marry.
The fact is I love you, Kay
. She sucked in a stiff breath.
Chapter Five
Nate frowned. What had upset Kay? A bitter expression had flashed over her smile right after Margie’s innocent question about camping alone, followed by a quick look of panic. Her hands lay in her lap, right hand closed tightly over her left, covering his ring. Panic was bad, but holding on, was that good? Shit.
Margie noticed nothing as she tried a bite of the cornmeal-fried catfish, chewed carefully, and resumed her questions. “Like what?”
Kay’s gentle, dimpled smile returned. “Well, always remember to shake out your shoes first thing before you put your foot in. You never know what’s decided to take up occupancy.”
Margie nodded solemnly. “Chris told me that. Scorpions.”
“Among other creatures, and not all scary, either. I had a mouse in my boot once. He was not happy to be tumbled out of his new home.”
“What about spiders? Chris said this campsite is called Spider Camp.”
“Just a fun name for the camp. Not like there are hordes of invading spiders.” Kay spoke soothingly, her eyes innocent of deception, and stuffed a forkful of beans in her mouth.
Dave choked on his beer. Nate swallowed his laughter. Lloyd and Patti abruptly needed a fresh drink. Kay was good, so soothing, and so lying through her teeth. Spider Camp had been formerly known as Tin Can Camp, until the great spider invasion years back. Luck willing, there wouldn’t be any spider population explosions or any visits from the furry black-and-white namesakes of Kay’s camp.
Dave cleared his throat and sipped casually at his beer. “Working on anything special here at Mohave, Kay? I saw your umbrella up on the hill. That sunset piece last year was great.”
Kay flushed prettily, and Nate beat down the prickle of jealousy.
“Thanks. I’m working on a larger piece of Coyote Point. I did a tree bark study at Oak Creek and a view of Tukuhnikivats Arch I’m very happy with.”
“I’d like to see some of your work,” Olivia said.
Margie beamed. “Kay’s amazing! So talented. I’ve only seen one piece in person, but I’ve visited her website. The painting she gave us for a wedding gift was so sweet. A mourning dove pair. I love birds, and the colors are so soft and cheerful. It looks perfect in our bedroom, doesn’t it, Chris?”
His mouth full, Christopher nodded and smiled. So strange seeing his quiet friend so besotted.
“Since when have you gone in for the art scene, Olivia?” R.J. interrupted, breaking off his conversation with Lloyd. His grin said he was joking, but his tone set Nate’s teeth on edge.
“Since I felt like it.” Olivia grabbed her drink, cigarettes and lighter, and paced off along the shore.
R.J. rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Women.”
Tension shadowed Kay’s eyes. Why was the Harpers’ squabble setting her off? And Dave, for that matter, who was currently glowering at the crunched sides of his beer can.
Crap. What to do? Kay’s beer was empty. Nate excused himself and headed to the ice chest. He popped two beers. He needed Kay relaxed. He needed her to talk to him. Soon. And he needed to do it the right way, with the right words. Thinking of Dave’s little lecture, he snorted. What more could he say besides “I love you” until he was blue in the face?
He carried the beers back to the table and gave Kay a kiss along with the beer. She softened into his kiss for a moment, before drawing away with a blushing smile. Good, right?
If he didn’t figure this out, he was going to lose his mind for certain.
“Hey, Nate, when are you going to show us pictures of the house?” Dave grabbed the salad bowl and refilled his plate.
Damn, he hadn’t even shown Kay the pictures yet. What else could he get wrong today? “I have them in the digital.”
“Well, bring them on. I want to see where I’m spending my vacation next year.”
Lloyd perked up. “House? What house?”
“I bought a house, in Oregon. On the coast. I’m moving back to the States for good.” He mindlessly answered the rain of questions and congratulations as he walked over to his bag and dug the digital out of the insulated case. Back in that lonely hotel room in Auckland, he’d seen the house listing and been so certain. Now…
His heart made the slow, throbbing rise into his throat.
But what if she really doesn’t love me?
Hell, he sounded like some sophomoric whiner, but, damn it, it hurt. He gulped a good slug of beer. Getting drunk might help, but that would only temporarily help him ignore the issues, would just make him more stupid than he’d already been, and he hated hangovers. They had to talk this out. Fine. Easily said. But how to talk without pushing Kay?
Get Kay drunk and talk then? Good luck there, since she drank even less than he did. That was a nonstarter.
Get Kay in the sack and talk when her guard was down? Problem was he’d just proved sex made him stupid, and he’d probably let his heart and cock run his mouth again and make things even worse.
Well, you have until the twenty-fourth, twelve whole days to figure something out, Nate, old boy. Get to it.
“Kay gets first dibs.” He clicked to the first shot of his new house. Their new house, he prayed, and handed her the camera.
He began the photo tour at the front steps, into the house, the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms and bathrooms, the spaces he envisioned for their studios, keeping all the descriptions light and vague. What he wanted to share stayed jammed in his heart:
what do you think of our bed going here, and wouldn’t that trunk I saw in the photo of your living room look fantastic there, or that would be a great room for a kid, wouldn’t it?
The pictures couldn’t express the feeling of home he’d felt in the place. As he’d explored each room, he’d had the same spontaneous click of absolute rightness as he’d had the night he first met Kay.
Now, seeing the pictures again, he swallowed bile, and saw the house as she must: a shabby, eclectic fixer-upper, any potential shrouded under ugly paint, peeling paper, bare light bulbs, and outdated everything.
“Wow, it’s green there.” Her blue eyes flicked to his, anxious despite the smile on her face. She handed the camera off to Dave. “It’s really lovely. So different. I mean I have seen pictures of Oregon before, but I never thought of actually living there.”
Please, please think about it now
.
****
Why, oh why, did the house have to be so perfect?
Supper rolled in Kay’s stomach along with a large dose of guilt. She hadn’t missed the yearning in Nate’s eyes and voice as he showed off his dream house.
Oh, he’d kept all the talk light and easy, but she couldn’t deny his inflections at the rooms that pulled his emotions. Was it good or bad that she could see the house as Nate must, that the bones of the place were perfect?
Yeah, the house was a handy-man special, old and worn. Every room needed paint and new flooring, and the light fixtures were dated and not in a pleasant, quaint way. The kitchen needed gutting and all the appliances replaced. The red guest bathroom looked like an Old West bordello with the flocked wallpaper and fake-gilt Rococo chandelier, cracking everyone up.
But the house was beautiful. Perfect. She bit her tongue against the flood of ideas and the intense craving to see them happen, make them happen.
Nate took the teasing of the guys in good stride as they dug their teeth into discussing sheetrock, electrical outlets, windows, and a load of other remodeling issues. “You’re all invited to a strip-and-fill-a-dumpster party over the Labor Day weekend.”
Dave shook on it. “If I can get the days, it’s a deal. Lloyd, you bring the tools. I’ll bring the beer.” He leaned back in his chair, stretched contentedly, and patted his belly. “Great supper, everyone. Now if we just had some of your mom’s cherry pie, Nate, life would be perfect.” He grinned, teeth flashing. “Best stuff in the world, Mrs. Quinn’s pies. Saved my life way back in high school.”
“Saved your GPA, more like it.” Lloyd laughed. “Damn, but I love her apple pie.”
“You’ll have to settle for my chocolate chip cookies.” Patti passed him the container.
Nate snatched the cookie container before Dave could take it from Lloyd and waved it out of Dave’s reach. “Stuffing you full of pie was the only thing Mom could find to keep you in your seat and do your homework short of duct tape.”
After their jolly crew finished dish duty, daylight eased into a quiet sunset, the lanterns and citronella candles were lit, and chatter flowed and ebbed until a change in music led to more dancing, singing and laughter.
Dave brought out his guitar and proved whatever he’d done to his hand hadn’t affected his playing as he picked skillful chords along with the soft music. Sometimes he joined in singing along, his rough-edged deep harmony compelling.
The time-warp playlists of music Dave and Lloyd brought on these trips always amused Kay. Back home, Lloyd listened to contemporary country and rock and Dave’s tastes ran from Metallica to Mozart, but they left that all behind when they came to the river.
Lloyd danced with JoAnn to Coltrane and Hartman’s “My One and Only Love,” with the look in their eyes between them the same as when they’d danced to that song at their wedding reception seven years ago. The song ended and they stayed in their embrace, oblivious to the change in tune and tempo. Lloyd caressed JoAnn with his big, rawboned carpenter’s hands, whispering into her ear, and JoAnn’s face radiated utter bliss. They laughed quietly together and kissed. JoAnn caught his scruffy face in her hands. “I love you.”
The weird sense she was watching a film in a foreign language struck Kay. Tears stung her eyes and she had to turn away. Damn it, she needed subtitles.
The music shuffled into the first notes of Sinatra’s “Strangers in the Night.” R.J. pulled Olivia from her seat, breaking off her conversation with Patti and Mark. Her yearning smile as she wrapped her arms around her husband was painful to witness.
“There’s our song.” Nate murmured low in her ear, saving her from the bitter whispers of the past the couple had roused. His arm stroked around her waist. “May I have this dance?”
“That’s not our song. We don’t have a song.” But it was so easy to turn and let him take her in his arms.
He grinned. “It’s our song. We were strangers. It was night.”
Nate sang to Kay as they danced, his eyes and smile tender and serious. The warm, comforting need filled Kay, muting her fears as she rested in his embrace. Memories of their first hello, their first touch washed through her, sweet and hot.
She flushed. Oh, boy.
I love you. Come on, Kay, what’s so hard about saying those three little words
?
Nate said them so easily. He had to be wanting her to say them to him, but what she felt for him wasn’t love. She couldn’t lie to him.
With effort, she relaxed, and focused on the exquisite sensations of his strong body moving against hers in the dance. Memories of their lovemaking hours ago filled her. Their bodies together, she understood. That was right.
The music changed to Luther Vandross’s “Here and Now.”
Nate nuzzled her ear. “Feel how you make me feel,” he whispered into her ear and nipped at her earlobe. They moved body to body, the hard ridge of his arousal tempting against her belly. Her body clenched with heat and damp, and she melted against him.
“Oh, babe, what you do to me. If we were alone right now…” His sexy growl trailed into a chuckle as he spun her off to the nearest beach chair and tumbled her crosswise into his lap.
They lounged there together, watching the dancing and conversation. Nate toyed his fingers over her hands and arms, teasing just enough to keep her pleasantly aroused. His own arousal was not waning, as her bottom could attest. For the moment, she was able to focus on their pleasure, relax against his warm chest, simply be, and enjoy.
JoAnn studied them sitting there and gave an approving smile. Lloyd leaned down and kissed JoAnn, gently rubbing her belly with a look of utter gentleness and pride.
See? There was a good example of love and a marriage working out for two people.
True. JoAnn was so happy now. She had a hellish first marriage in her past, and look at the good man she had now in Lloyd. Patti and Scott had a solid relationship. And look at Christopher with Margie. Their marriage looked promising. She needed to focus on the positive. Love wasn’t toxic for everyone.
Nate was a good man, too, but marriage? And he’d bought a house. Hadn’t just been looking at a house, but
bought
it. Without telling her. Without asking her. He expected her to drop what she was doing with her own life and move in with him? His spontaneous moments in past years with ice cream, letters, and phone calls were fun, but this was not funny. They were lovers two weeks out of the year, and he went and bought her a house?