Clockwork Romance (5 page)

“Oh yeah?” she said smiling. “Is that what you were thinking when you were sitting over there on that stool?”

“How could I?” I answered.

“You’re right. How could you? But I am curious what your first impression of me was.”

“Okay, you look like the type of person I wouldn’t be able to see only one time. You’re the type I just have to know more about. See, most women I can just walk past and not think twice about, but you…”

She interrupted, “Are you saying it’s only the looks that attract you?
”

“No,” I tell her. “Not anymore. I’m just saying that when I do find someone interesting, I like to know more about them. And I think I do… except for one thing.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “And what would that be?”

“Your name.”

“Ah,” she spoke, with that smile returning. “The exchanging of names. It looks like we’ve saved the usual beginning of a first time meeting for the end. Do you ever plan on seeing me again?”

“What?” I questioned

“I’m just saying there’s no point in telling each other’s names if we’re never going to see each other again.”

“In that case, yes I would like to see you again.”

“And what if we were to go outside right now and have sex in the alley? Would you still want to see me again after that?”

“Yes,” I assured her. “But to be h
onest, I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Hmmm,” she wondered, almost insulted. “And why’s that?”

“Because right now, I’d like to start off as just friends.” She looked impressed. I was impressed with myself. I meant every word I said.

“Well in that case,” she responded, “my name’s Karina.”

“Luke,” I greeted, as we nodded our heads. I was a little confused, and I said, “You know, I’ve never really known how to greet a woman. At a distance, you know, I would just wave, but up close, what am I to do? A handshake? A hug?”

“As you’ll find out,” she responded, “I’m a big hugger, so stand up.” So we stand up, and we hug. It felt like our bodies were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. She smelt wonderful, but it didn’t smell like perfume. It was that natural scent that women have that’s so much more alluring than perfume.

After our embrace, she said, “Let’s go.” Oh no. My legs begin to walk. I didn’t want this situation to go the way it usually goes. Not this time. Not with her. Before I knew it, we were outside. I was anxiously awaiting her next words, hoping that they wouldn’t be the words I normally hear. I knew that if they were, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. Then I heard, “You headed that way?” She briefly pointed across the street at my apartment building.

“Yeah.” I say.

“Well, I’m parked around the corner, so… how about tomorrow night, around eight, we meet here again and continue our…” Her eye scaled me from head to toe, then back up to my eyes. “… ever so interesting conversation.”

“You got it,” I say, with a reassuring smile.

“See you then,” she ended, waving as she turned around and walked away.

“Have a good night,” I finished, as I walked to my building. When I got to the front door of the building, I looked back to see Karina walking around the corner. Then she was gone. Now all I saw was the night. I opened the front door and went inside, waiting for tomorrow night when I would have the chance to see Karina once again. And of course, I won’t be having any trouble sleeping tonight.

Chapter 5

It’s the next morning.
I open my eyes. I’m awaken by the sound of someone knocking at my door. For a second, I’m wondering if last night really happened. The last thing I remember was Karina walking off as I continued back here. It felt real. Either way, I’ll be at the bar tonight, eight o’ clock sharp. In the meantime, I guess I’ll see who’s at the door.

I get out of bed, in my pajama bottoms, or my otherwise lounge pants, and answer the door, still feeling half asleep. It’s Brandon again.

“Hey Luke,” he says.

“Come on in,” I tell him, as I open the door wider. Once he’s in, I close the door.

“I just stopped by for a gram of blow,” he says making it sound like he’s asking for sugar. He takes a seat as I walk to the chest. “Hey, how come you didn’t stop by the party the other night?”

“Oh man,” I said, trying not to sound too sarcastic. “I just found myself with some last minute plans, so I couldn’t make it. Sorry.”

“Ah, it’s fine,” Brandon returned, “I don’t really recall too much anyway, besides, of course the fact that you weren’t there. But it’s all good.”

“Actually,” I said, putting more cocaine on the scale, “I met someone last night.” Brandon laughs. He probably feels like I say that a lot.

“Was it Hannah? The girl I gave your number to?” he said. At that moment, I remembered Hannah. Oh, Hannah. I forgot all about her.

“No, it wasn’t her. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t give my number to complete strangers,” I said, turning my head. “I suppose this time I can forgive you because I did talk to her, and she was really nice. How do you
know her anyway? You don’t seem like you would know each other.”

“Umm,” he says, trying to remember. “I’m friends with her brother. I would have gone after her, but… she isn’t really my type.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned in disbelief. “She’s beautiful.”

“Yes she is. I didn’t say she wasn’t. I’m just saying she isn’t my type. Not completely anyway. She’s too conservative, too down to earth, not to mention she’s really… outgoing.”

“And that’s not your type?”

“You see, I like a girl who wants no more than I do, that way, if things go south, she’ll bounce back easily instead of crying her eyes out over a carton of Haagen-Dazs.”
I put a twist tie around the weighed out bag. I’m relieved that Brandon didn’t have any interest with Hannah. She deserves a better man than him. “So who’s this other girl you met?” he asks, as I walk over to hand him the bag.”

“Her name’s Karina. I met her at the bar across the street. And unlike most, I actually plan on seeing her again. But we’re just friends for now, though, so I hasn’t gone very far.”

Brandon stands up to receive the bag. “As much as I’d love to stay and talk feelings, I gotta get going.” He hands me the money, and leaves with, “Later.” I reply with the same.

As I close the door, one thought goes through my mind.
I want out of this business. Bad. I need to start taking this future shit seriously. I could simply sell my entire stash and retire, but then I’d feel like I have nothing left. I wouldn’t be any more productive than I am now. This may take a little longer than I thought. I should’ve just told Brandon that I’m not doing this anymore, that I’m quitting. I should’ve done that. So what do I do now? Sit around and wait for eight o’ clock?

Fast forward to ten ‘til eight, and that’s exactly what I did. The rest of the day felt like any other day, with very little getting accomplished, or anything for that matter. However, the day did seem a little more relaxed than usual, which is more than I can say now, since I’m a little nervous about meeting Karina. I know, I just know that she was the one that I’ve seen walking around in this building. Maybe she has a friend who loves in this building, on this floor. But, when she left last night, she didn’t come into my building, so she definitely live in the building.
But I don’t know. We’ll talk more in a little bit.

Right now I’m just lying on the couch resting my eyes as the television lights up the room. I’m not really paying attention to what’s on. I just lay my head back and try to find peace. That’s all I can do, try. Sometime
s I have dreams without falling asleep. It’s strange really, because even though I’m consciously only seeing black, my mind can creates images that are as real as anything else, just by imagining it. Sometimes I even lose track of time.

Damn it! What time is it? The only clock in my apartment is the one in my room, so I get up, turn off my television, and run into my room. By the way, there is no door to my room. The only thing separating the living room from my bedroom is
a big archway. I stop once in my room and look at the clock. 8:05 pm. I hurry to get my things and then I’m out the door. I don’t consider this an occasion where I’d want to be fashionably late. I don’t want Karina to think that I’ve forgotten or lost interest. I especially don’t want to leave her there for some other jackass to hit on her. Thankfully, I’m only gong across the street.

Once inside the bar, I act cool. I look at the booth where we sat last night, thinking she might be waiting for me there. But no one. The bar wasn’t busy. It was only a little after eight after all. I guess I’ll have a drink on a stool while I wait for Karina to get here. The second I get to the stool, before ordering my drink, I hear a familiar voice behind me say, “There you are.” I turned around and noticed Karina standing before me, in a grey pea coat.

“Hi,” I offer. “Have you been waiting here long?”

“Not at all,” she said, giving me another beautiful smile. “How about instead of drinks, we go and get something to eat? Are you hungry?”

“Yes, uh, that sounds great,” I comply. The bartender pointed his finger at me, which asked me what I wanted to drink as if he didn’t know. “Nothing,” I tell him, while walking away with Karina to the door. I wasn’t too sure which direction to walk once we got outside. Would we each go into our own car? In my car? In her car? I decided to be a man and say, “We can go in my car.”

“Okay,” she agreed, eager to get going. “How far are we walking?”

“You see that black challenger over there with the gold stripes.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s how far.”

“You mean that’s yours?” She was impressed.

“Yup.”

“
Wow. I didn’t know a nothing could afford that.” We both laughed. We got into the car and I began driving.

“So do you have a place in mind?” I asked.

“As a matter of fact, I do. How about Guten Tag?” she suggested.

“That sounds good,” I respond. Guten Tag means “good morning” or “good afternoon” in German. It’s not like Guten Tag was a German restaurant though. Maybe the place was founded by a German guy. I don’t know, I didn’t study the history of this place. I chuckled a little to myself.

“What’s so funny?” Karina wondered.

“Oh I was just thinking about how easy it was for us to decide where to eat. Most women would have me drive down every street in the city before they would come to a final decision.”

Karina had on an over-the-shoulder purse, pretty small and square shaped. She rustled through it while saying, “Well, instead of most women, you have me. So tell me, have many women sat in this seat?”

Considering my usual relations with women, I say, “No.”

“Well that’s good.” She pulled out a cigarette. She already had it in her mouth before she asked, “Do you mind?”

“No, just roll down the window,” I answered. “So much for quitting, huh?”

“This is actually the first one I’ve had since last night,” she said.

“So what’s making you smoke now?” I asked.

She thought about it. She looked like she had been stumped. “I don’t know.” She took a long drag and tossed the cigarette out of the window. Then she exhaled the smoke, and began laughing. I smiled with her. But then I thought about something. Am I on a date? How would I know? Should I just ask?

“So, uh, Karina?” I said.

“Yeah,” she returned, bringing the window back up.

“I may not have many real social interactions, but… what would you call this?”

“You mean, are we on a date?” she clarified.

I nodded. She continues, “We’re just two people going to dinner. What becomes of that is the future’s business.”

“For now…” I said, “… how about instead of two people, we’re two friends? Even though we haven’t really known each other for very long.”

“Twenty-four hours to be exact,” she corrected.

“That’s all fine, but, it’s just that… you’re the closest I’ve had to a real friend in a long time.” I wasn’t sure if I should have just said that.

“Why’s that?” she asked. I tried to think of an honest response.

“Well, I haven’t been very good at keeping friends, much less finding them.”

“Do you consider yourself a loner?” she questioned.

“Let’s just say I’d rather prefer a small group of friends instead of a larger one. I’m not good at finding people like me, who I get along with and want to hang around with.”

She gives me a look like she wants to kiss me out of pity. “Do you think I’m one of the few you could… get along with?”

“Maybe,” I said, giving her a brief smile, then returning my eyes to the road. “So what do you do? Do you have a job?”

“No, no job,” she answers. “
I’m not a fan of being told what to do by a tyrannical boss who only has green in their eyes. That’s like asking me if I want to get paid to be someone’s bitch. No thanks. But I am going to school, making my living by living off loans in a decent apartment.”

“I’m in school too,” I told her, thinking that could be added to the things we have in common. “What are you going for?”

“I don’t know…” She tried to think. “… I just want something to strive for. It’s ironic really, because if I knew what I wanted to do, I wouldn’t be in college at this age.”

“I’m kind of the same way. Most people know what they want to be before starting school. Unfortunately, others don’t find out until they’ve almost finished, then make change after change after change.
”

A few more seconds of silence
pass by while we desperately searched for another topic to keep the conversation going. Finally, Karina spoke, “Back to what you were saying earlier, everyone has friends, but I, uh, I don’t really have anyone who I hang out with a lot either. You know, like a best friend or something. I used to have one friend who I used to hang out with for a while, then another friend, then another friend, then another friend. I’ve never really had anyone who remained constant. I guess I’ve always been used to that. But I mean, everyone wants to have an ideal friendship with another. Guys… all they wanted was sex. And girls… well most already have their own clique. The last thing I’m gonna do is try to fit in with people I don’t like just for the sake of having someone around.”

“Strange,” I interrupted.

“What’s strange?” she asked.

“How we think alike.” Suddenly, I got the urge to ask her what I had been thinking earlier. “Do you happen, by chance, to live in or know anyone who lives in my apartment building?”

“No,” she responds. “Why?”

“No reason. Just curious.”

She gives me a funny look. “You’re curious to know if I know anyone who lives in your apartment building?”

“You see, I feel li
ke I’ve seen you in there before. Around,” I explained

“Nope, never been there,” she said.

Before we knew it, we had gotten to the restaurant, sat down, and ordered, all accompanied by the usual phrases like, “How many tonight?” “What can I get you?” “I’ll have the…” I had a steak, while Karina had a cheeseburger. Anyways, that’s not important. However, I found a good conversation topic to talk about. “So how do you feel about relationships? Doesn’t necessarily have to be your own.”

“I suppose if we’re talking generally, then I’d say I don’t see the point in most of them, to be honest,” she says. “I mean, why would you date someone who you couldn’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with? I guess it could just be that initial attraction, or good company, or even just a good lay. But it does get depressing when you know it won’t last.” We took turns speaking while the other ate.

“So how do you expect two people to get married?” I question. That question was a little short, so I had to wait a few moments for her to finish her bite.

“I suppose if two people were together long enough, they would eventually decide on marriage, wouldn’t they?” she said.

“Do you think that could be done without dating?” I asked.

“Of course not all the time. I’m not saying dating is useless for everyone, but as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t met the guy who I imagine growing old with yet.”

“How would you know that if you don’t give people a chance? That’s the entire point of dating, going out to find someone you can feel that way about. It doesn’t always depend on the first impression.” I decided then to tell her a story from my past. “When I was about sixteen, there was this girl I had a crush on in high school. I thought she was cute, of course. I had a few classes with her, but never spoke to her. I mean I said a few words to her, but never started a conversation. I was… shyer back then. Then came the day that, after that, I would never see her again. The last time I saw her, she was hanging around this other guy. I don’t know if he was her boyfriend or what, but it was clear that we probably would never be together. All of this was because I was afraid to take that chance. What I’m trying to say is, you’ll never know until you try. If I had said something to her before that guy did, and trust me when I say I had plenty of time, then my future could have turned out completely different. But I’ll never know.”