Closet Case (Robert Rodi Essentials) (34 page)

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Authors: Robert Rodi

Tags: #FICTION / Urban Life, #FIC052000, #FIC000000, #FICTION / Gay, #FIC011000, #FICTION / General, #FIC048000, #FICTION / Satire

“De rien,”
he said merrily. “And do forgive one for having snooped a bit. One couldn’t resist it.”

“One could’ve tried a little harder.”

“Is it true about your resignation?
Quelle scandale!

“I said
next haircut
, Toné. Not a minute before.”

He shrugged, “
D’accord, d’accord.
Well, then,
mon brave — à bientôt!

The next sound Lionel heard was the front door clicking shut.

Alone at last.

He lay on the couch until darkness fell, sweltering in the closeness. His stomach growled, but he couldn’t face food. He was paralyzed by the weight of too many events, all of them demanding to be sorted through, reconsidered, analyzed, judged, and filed away for future reference. It was too daunting a task. All he wanted was to sleep, but his mind kept jolting him awake with disturbing and recurring images — of Bob, of Yolanda, of David.

Especially
of David.

At eight o’clock, his phone rang.

He tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t stop; and he’d turned off his answering machine, so it wouldn’t pick up. Spencer started screaming along with the rhythm of the ringing. Fifteen times it rang; sixteen; seventeen —

Infuriated, he gave in and grabbed the receiver. “Hello!” he snapped.

“Lionel, dear? Oh, thank God, thank
God
you’re home.”

“Oh … hi, Aunt Ramona.” He sat up and turned on a lamp, then rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. “Sorry. I was kind of napping.”

“I can understand … all this upset! Listen, sweetheart, there’s such a tremendous, such a
tremendous
row going on about you! And the upshot is, Sonny and Greta don’t need, they don’t
need
me anymore, they haven’t for some time, and now it’s come to the point, to the
point
where they don’t
want
me anymore.”

He shook his head. “Aunt Ramona, I can’t handle this. Not now, not on top of everything else. Can you call back later?”

“No, dear, I can’t. I’m calling from a pay, from a
pay
phone.”

He blinked. “Why?”

“Well, your father and sister are so
intransigent
! No communication with you, that’s their new law. I had to sneak out to place this call. I have to get back before they notice I’m missing. But as I said, as I
said,
I’m not staying. Not after the awful things they’ve said about you!”

“Aunt Ramona, you haven’t been sticking up for me, have you?”

“Well, of course, of
course
I have, dear.”

“You shouldn’t have! Not if it meant getting driven out of the house.”

“I’m not being driven, I’m
leaving
. Their lack of, their
lack
of
gratitude
is what — is what —” She ground to a halt. “Oh, Lionel,” she said, her voice oddly strangulated. “Didn’t you ever wonder
why
I never got married?”

It took him a stupidly long time to realize what she was saying. Then the planet seemed to stop spinning. “Aunt Ramona — you’re
kidding
me! You — you’re —”

“Yes. And how I wish, how I
wish
I’d had your guts, Lionel, back when I was younger. Back when there was still
time
.”

“Oh, God, don’t say that. It’s never too late!”

“I’m in my fifties, Lionel! Don’t be so silly.”

“I said, it’s
never too late
.
Jesus
. I can’t
believe
I’m having this conversation with you.”

“Well, let’s drop it, then. Because what I need to know, what I
need
to know, is whether I can stay with you till I find a place of my own? Just a few days, I promise.” She sounded on the verge of a breakdown.

“Come and stay as long as you like,” he said, his throat constricting with emotion. “That’s what family’s for.”

After they hung up, he felt strong enough to eat — if only just a can of soup and a piece of toast — and to tidy up the guest room for Ramona’s arrival the next day. He even attempted a reconciliation with Spencer, who allowed him to scratch his head for a record-breaking seventeen seconds.

At nine, his phone rang again. He was in the midst of doing dishes, so he dried his hands and picked up the kitchen extension.

It was Julius Deming. Lionel’s mouth went dry.

“Look here, Lionel,” he said, “I understand all the emotions running rampant here, and yet — by
no means
is everything smoothed over, mind you, I think you can understand that, and by no means am I
not
angry with you — but I’m angrier about this resignation stunt than anything else. To leave a note! To not even face us!”

“Look, what’s the point?” he said, preparing to hang up. “I know the way you think, and I know the kind of people you want working for you — and I’ve
tried
to be that kind of person, that kind of
man
—”

“Will you just shut up for a minute? Don’t make me lose my temper; I’m on the verge as it is! Now, the fact is, regardless of the complete steaming mess of the past day and a half, you’re still
exactly
the kind of man we want working for us. I mean, you lied to us, but I can understand why, if I think about it. And you brought a hooker to Magellan’s house —”

“Jesus, she’s not a — that was
years
ago, she —”

“Not done yet.”
He snorted in frustration. “All right,
ex
-hooker. Fact is, neither Hack nor I are completely guilt-free when it comes to those kind of associations. Right, then. As far as that lunatic male model who attacked you with a spear … well, you made the best of a bad situation, you didn’t incite him, you didn’t make things worse. So after a long,
long
talk with Hack, we’ve decided not to accept your resignation.”

Lionel had to sit down for this. He planted himself on the Formica countertop, next to the sink. “And Magellan’s okay with that?”

“Magellan
insists
on it,” he said at once. Then, backpedaling, he added, “But the decision is principally ours. Lionel, we want you back in the office as soon as possible. Tomorrow, if you can. Though we’ll probably stay here in Wisconsin for the remainder of the week, as planned, if only to help smooth things over with Magellan, who’s a little upset over Wilma leaving him —”

“She
left
him?”

“Yeah. Taking his car
and
his son. He’s a little crazy over it all.”


God
. Got to be a story
there
.”

“Never mind that. Just get back to work. I mean it, now. No more bullshit feeling sorry for yourself. Time to put this all behind us.”

Since he’d already accepted being out of work, Lionel felt he had nothing to lose by pressing a little harder. “What about the partnership offer?”

A long pause. “We haven’t discussed that yet. Naturally, we’ll have to give it another look.”

“Naturally.”

“I’m not saying the door is closed. That would be foolish. It’s not like there’s anyone
else
we’re considering.”

“Of course not.”

“But … frankly, Lionel, there’s an element of trust that got lost somewhere, and we have to reestablish that. Am I wrong? If you were in my position?”

He sighed. “No, no. I understand.”

“I’ll call you at the office tomorrow.”

“You do that.” He was proud of himself for not saying he’d be there. But even as he hung up the phone, he knew he would be. In spite of the mortification he’d have to suffer, facing Chelsea and Donna and Tracy and Carlton and everyone else, he knew he’d go back. The place was in his blood.

He dialed Yolanda in Wild Rose and told her about Deming’s remarkable offer.

“I knew about that already,” she said, whispering. (Emil, she’d explained, was asleep.) “Becca Perlman called and told me everything. I don’t know why me, but I think if she had not been able to tell
someone
, she might have exploded. It was David’s doing.”

“It
was
?” He’d filled her in on his aborted romance with David while driving her to Emil’s motel.

“Of course. He told his father that if you lost your job over all this, he would never speak to him again.”

“Wow. Who knew he could be so melodramatic?”


All
lovers are melodramatic a bit, Lionel.”

“Even so, Magellan would never sit still for an ultimatum like that. Not in a million years.”

“Of course not. So David, being equally pig-headed, picked up his suitcase and hitched a ride to Chicago with Wilma — and Becca and I both agree, good riddance to
her
. Although I would love to know what she and David talked about for four-and-a-half hours.”

“God, it does all
fit
, doesn’t it,” he said in awe. “When David left, Magellan must have realized the only way he could get him back was by demanding that Deming and Perlman take
me
back.” He whistled in awe.

“Yes. Though, Lionel, I think they would soon have asked you back, even had Magellan not forced the issue. They are very fond of you, you know.”

“You think so?”

“I have heard them speak of you in your absence. Yes, I know it is so.”

“There’s only one problem with the story. Why would David go out on a limb for me? When the police showed up to haul Bob away, he was nowhere to be seen. I looked everywhere for him, in vain. So as far as he knows, I’m still the guy who ditched him the first chance he got.”

“I cannot explain that, Lionel,” she said sleepily. “You must ask him yourself.”

For the rest of the night, Lionel eyed the phone expectantly, thinking it inevitable that David would call him.

And of course, he did, just as Lionel was turning in for the night. “I just got a hotel room in the Loop,” he said. “Wilma dropped me off. You know, she’s not so bad.”

“All the same, I wouldn’t share that with your mother.”

“Oh, it won’t matter now. Wilma’s through with Dad. Thanks to you. I owe you a lot, babe.”

Lionel blushed. “Well, thanks. Uh — listen, I’m sorry I missed saying goodbye. After I wrote my resignation I tried to track you down.” He emboldened himself and dared to ask, “Where were you?”

A small silence. “Hiding in the boathouse, actually,” he said with a nervous laugh, “puking my guts out at the thought of finally having to confront my dad about the whole reason I left the priesthood. I couldn’t exactly put it off any longer. You sort of took the choice out of my hands.” He laughed again, then cleared his throat. “You probably think I’m some kind of pathetic coward. I’m sure you’ve been out to your parents for years.”

Lionel winced. “Let’s talk about that some other time.”

Another awkward silence.

Then David said, “Hey, can you come over here?”

Lionel instantly felt both deliriously happy and deliriously ill. This
must
be love. “I don’t know,” he said, clutching the nightstand while the room whirled around him. “I have to be at work tomorrow …”

“You’re still
working
?” said David jubilantly. “That’s great! I heard you’d resigned!”

“They wouldn’t accept it.”


God
, that makes me happy!” Another unwieldy pause.

“So, anyway,” Lionel said to break the silence, “I was just about to hit the sack.”

“Well …
my
sack is closer to your office than
yours
is.”

Within minutes Lionel was happily repacking some of the things he’d just unpacked, into an overnight bag. He covered Spencer’s cage with its beach towel, and was just heading for his car when he remembered how appallingly expensive parking was in the Loop. He decided to take a taxi instead.

As luck would have it, there was one already cruising down his block. He flagged it down, hopped into its back seat, and said, “Thanks.”

“Where to, pal?” asked the driver. He was, Lionel saw at once, a big, broad tower of a man, with a surly lower lip and deep-set, unreadable black eyes. The machismo he exuded was almost palpable. He was exactly the type of man who had for years intimidated the living daylights out of Lionel.

“Inter-Continental Hotel,” Lionel told him. “On Michigan.”

The driver pulled into traffic again, fearlessly ignoring any oncoming cars, which, perhaps sensing what he was, all made way for him. “The Intern-Continental on Michigan it is,” he rumbled.

Lionel took a deep breath, summoning up all of his sense of self-worth, then leaned closer to the back of the driver’s seat and said, “That’s where my boyfriend’s staying.”

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