Authors: Liz Crowe
The crystal vase made a very satisfying crash against the wall. The water and ruined flowers soaked the drywall, but didn't stop pounding in her head repeating the words "as much as I love you" over and over again.
Julie answered right away. "How did it go?" Sara could hear the girls fussing in the background.
"Not well."
"What? Hang on a sec. Evan! Can you please…thanks. Now, seriously Sara, what did he say?"
"He doesn't want it. He wants a partnership. Says I'm not ready for that step. Shit I don't know anymore. Maybe it isn't meant to be." The thought of that made her nearly choke on unhappiness.
Jack sat in his car, forehead pressed to his steering wheel for a solid five minutes, trying to catch his breath. He sat up, gripped the steering wheel and touched the phone icon, grinding out "Call Evan" clearly enough for the device to obey.
"Yo, what's up?" His friend's voice soothed him. Sounds of babbling in the background made him smile.
"Hey. I just needed somebody to tell me I did the right thing just now."
"Again with the PMS. Hang on a second." He could hear his friend talking to his wife, her sounds of agreement the double voices of their twins hollering for "Daddy" while he left the room.
"Sorry," he mumbled when Evan returned.
"Dude, I needed a break, no worries. I'm hiding in my man cave as we speak, holding a double scotch and fondling a cigar. Spill it."
"She tried to…she had a collar. I flipped out." He put his head back against the wheel, his brain spinning.
"You didn't, did you? I mean, that's a step you guys are definitely
not
ready for."
"I know but I have to ask you – why do you think so? It's what I want, ultimately, with or without the actual jewelry. Why did I tell her no? Jesus."
"Because, it's not right. Not yet. Not if you don't feel it. Although sometimes I wonder about you guys. You'll be fucking sixty years old before you both give in and acknowledge what everybody around you already does."
"Except for her father of course. And that damn kid who could have..." Evan cut him off.
"Stop it. You're doing the right thing Jack. Stay strong. Now, I gotta get back to my estrogen Rockettes before Julie runs screaming into the night."
"Thanks man. And tell Julie if she needs to, my door is always open."
"Yeah, as if she'd take your sorry ass after having my magnificence."
"Oh, well, I guess I'll let her tell you."
"Fuck you Gordon."
"Julie? Anytime. Talk soon."
Chapter Nineteen
Sara let the warm breeze still kicking up over Lake Michigan soothe her rattled psyche. The perfect quiet moment allowed her to reflect and hone in on why she still ached for Jack even though she still saw him nearly every day, talked to him most nights, and exchanged Katie regularly. She knew why – it was not enough.
The end of September rolled around and Blake hosted his usual family get together out at the cabin. Sara had never looked forward to it more. Her parents stayed at their own place, two houses down the beach, but met them for lunch and dinner every day. She'd nearly missed the whole thing thanks to a lawsuit that another brokerage had threatened her office with, but Jack had convinced her to get away. He'd said he'd even be up for a day or so himself.
Katie splashed in the cool water of the lake. Rob stood and watched, then kicked her obnoxious pink soccer ball up and down the beach with her, while Blake made their evening meal. Craig was due to arrive tonight and Sara could not sort out how she felt about that.
She'd stopped by Suzanne's bar once, hoping to clear the air, but the woman had been too busy to talk, or unwilling to engage with her, one or the other. Whatever hold she still had over Craig, or whatever feelings he still had for her, they would get past it. Craig deserved happiness, even if she herself could not manage to pin her own down with the man who held it in his hand.
A cold bottle pressed to her bare shoulder, making her jump. Craig smiled down at her and handed her one, dropping into the chair next to her with a groan. "Christ I am shattered."
"I'm sure. You thought real estate was stressful?"
He chuckled. "Yeah, I do love it though, I won't kid you."
"Uncle Craig!" Katie came running up and fell on him.
"Katie!" Sara tried to pull her off. "Don't get him all wet and sandy."
"I don't care," he declared, burying his nose in her hair. She sat up and filled him in on every aspect of her life in about ten minutes, talking a hundred miles a minute as usual. Sara shut it out and sipped her beer, watching Rob kick the soccer ball around. Katie leapt up and joined him, ducking between his long legs to steal the ball and dribble it away, down the beach. Craig sighed and stretched out on the lounge chair.
"I heard you tried to talk to Suzanne."
She continued to ponder the lake. "Yes." She couldn't think of anything else to say. "Are you guys, um...?"
"No. I took her at her word. I've been working like mad, picking up extra shifts as the low man on the practice totem pole; not worth more than collapsing on the couch after. But…" He took a drink of his beer. "I would, if she'd let me."
"I'm sorry."
"Why? It's not your fault, it's mine. C'mon, Blake told me to bring you guys up for dinner." He hauled her to her feet, holding her hand all the way up the long steps from the beach.
Craig held her hand later, again, as they walked down the beach. The silence stretched between them but in a comfortable way. When they spoke, it was of innocuous things. His chest ached with longing. Finally he stopped, pulled her close. "I missed you so much," he ran a finger down her face. "Can I kiss you?"
She nodded, and without a word, their connection exploded around them, making them gasp and clutch at each other. He groaned and tugged her down to the sand, pulling the batik wrap she had over her bikini off and spreading it beneath them. His cock punched the back of his zipper at the taste of her lips, the feel of her skin against his. He ran his tongue down her neck, found her nipples, making her back arch.
She fumbled around and unzipped him, need making them both clumsy. He hummed in his throat at the feel of her hand on him, the sweet press of her mound against his hand. "Craig," she whispered. "Please, I need…I need…" She broke away, letting go of his cock. Sensing something wrong, he slowed, let his touch linger, tried to revive it for her. But she moved away from him.
"No. Stop. I can't. This is... wrong, I'm using you again and ruining your life in the process. Christ." She sat up, putting her elbows on her knees. "Go to her Craig. Tell her you love her. I know you do. You deserve happiness." He leaned back and watched her. The ache remained, but for someone else. Running a hand up her sleek bare leg, he sighed.
"You're right. I... I should go."
"Tonight." She whirled on him. Her eyes glistened in the waning light of the late summer day. "Don't wait another minute." She bit her lip.
"I do love you Sara. You know that."
She shook her head. "No. You don't. Stop saying it. You love the idea of me. You always did. But the woman you
do
love is waiting, patiently. Make it worth her while. I know you can." She touched his lips. "I release you."
He grinned, ran his hand through his hair and took off running back up the beach. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dashed off a quick text.
"I'm coming home tonight. Be ready for me."
By the time he'd reached the cabin he had his answer.
"Hurry. I'm waiting."
Sara sat, let a single tear fall, then took a breath and congratulated herself for the first selfless thing she'd done in a while. Even if Craig were Katie's biological father, his place in her life had been fleeting. He could remain an uncle. She sighed and sat back. The dilemma remained.
How to convince Jack she was serious.
The sound of her name made her jump up and start back towards the steps. Anxiety ripped through her at the sound of Katie's cry. When she reached the cabin, Craig had the girl on his lap, trying to examine her foot. Blood poured from a huge gash in her instep. "What happened?" Katie was positively shrieking, gasping with sobs unlike her. Sara looked over at Blake. He motioned for her to come outside.
"Jack called. He's not coming." Well, that explained Katie's hysterics.
"Why not?"
Blake led her further away from the open window. "It's his sister. She's…I guess her husband is dead." Sara gasped, automatically heading inside for her phone so she could call him. "No, Sara he's already on a plane to Germany. He said he'd call you when he got there. Katie got the word and ran outside to find you. Must have stepped on a stick in the yard. Craig found her on his way back up." Blake gave her an odd look. "Craig said he had to go too."
Sara gave her brother a hug. "Yeah, honey, he and Suzanne…" Blake sighed into her neck.
"Good. She deserves someone like him."
Sara's head pounded. She should go with him, help, or something. She'd only met Maureen and Brandis once but knew how important they were to Jack. She walked back in to find Katie calming in Craig's arms, her foot covered with a bandage.
"She won't need stitches but should stay out of the water and sand tomorrow, sorry."
Sara found her phone, trying Jack's number in spite of Blake's insistence that he couldn't be reached. The sounds of an airline staff preparing for takeoff met her ears. "Hey. I'm glad you called."
"Jack, do you want me to come too?"
He sighed. "No, it's... I'll handle it but I don't know how long I'll be gone. You and Jason are in charge, okay?" It took her a minute to realize he meant of the real estate company. "I gotta go or the air marshal is gonna confiscate my phone. I'll call you as soon as I land."
"I love you." She blurted into the phone, but it had already gone dead. Sighing she pulled Katie out of Craig's lap, and flopped down on the couch with her. Craig stood, pressed a kiss to her and the girl's foreheads and left.
Chapter Twenty
By the time he hit the Ann Arbor exit off Interstate Twenty Three Craig had worked himself into a frenzy. The four-hour bike ride had not settled his nerves like it usually did. Instead, his skin felt like something he could shed, like a snake and still be jumping out of it. Annoying. He switched off the radio headphones and drove onto Suzanne's quiet, mansion-lined street.
"I don't have a pretty story," she'd said. He pondered how bad it could possibly be as he observed the stately Italianate-style home with its long, tree-lined driveway and massive wrap around front porch. Suzanne's Mercedes was parked in front of the three-car garage. He sat on his bike a minute, letting the dark descend fully, working up his nerve. The nearly five years he'd spent apart from her and Sara and all he'd come to love about them both had played hell with his nerves. He'd channeled the frustration into school, diving in deep to emerge with a degree, and a urgent need to get back to Michigan he could hardly control.
Suzanne had come to Nashville twice, used the opportunity visit Yazoo and a few of the newer craft breweries in the area. The first time they'd fallen into bed and hardly seen the light of day. But, by the time she left she'd done her distancing thing, emotionally, and Craig had vowed not to let it happen again. Two could play. The next year and a half they spoke, texted, keeping it light and sexy. But every time Craig felt a little bit of himself dying when they hung up.
Female company in the highly charged, competitive atmosphere of medical school was pretty easy to find. He had more sex with more women than he cared to admit or even remember. Wincing at the memory of one woman in particular who'd been hard to dislodge from his two room apartment, he dismounted, took off his helmet and took another moment to gather his words.
Suzanne couldn't have come into his life at a stranger moment. The whole year with Sara and Jack and all that fucked up energy had nearly killed him. But he had returned to the slight redheaded brewery owner again and again. And now, he knew exactly what he wanted. She had to let go of her whole arms-length crap, accusing him of still having too much "emotionally invested" in Sara. Fuck that. He had nothing to prove to Suzanne any more, other than the fact that he loved her and wanted to be nowhere else but with her, all the damn time.
"About time," He started, looked up and saw her at the top of the porch steps her slight frame draped in a sundress that shone yellow against the deepening gloom. At that moment there was nothing else but her and the few steps separating them.
He took them in less than six strides, picking her up and covering her lips before she could protest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, opened her mouth to his tongue. She tasted magnificent, just like he remembered. The half-hearted erection he'd maintained more or less all the way down from Manistee sprang to life, making him cringe as blood rushed from every other part of his body. It had been so long, too long. He was about to fix that, permanently.
"Suzanne," He muttered into her neck, smelling her, tasting her, loving her. "Oh my God," he sighed and sat on a huge lounge nestled in the corner of the porch. "I'm sorry. I've been so…"
"Shh…" she muttered, straddling his lap and cupping a hand under his hair. Her tongue darted out, licked his lips, then ran along the line of his jaw, nibbling as she sighed and pressed into his cock. "Take me Craig. Right here. Please." She brought her face to his. Tears stood in her eyes. Craig's chest tightened as he cradled her face in his hands.
"No crying. I can't take it." He brushed away the one tear that had fallen with his thumb, slanted his mouth over hers, ran his hands down her back to her ass and back up, reveling in her perfection. Their tongues met, their sighs filled the night air around them as she reached down to unzip him, fisting his hard flesh. "Hang on tight," He muttered into her ear. She wrapped arms and legs around him as he stood and slid jeans down and off. She shifted as he sat, and he felt her body envelop him, hold him in the delicious, warm glove of her sex.