Clover (12 page)

Nancy heard the remark but said nothing.

Four pairs of aging eyes stared at him as he entered. He returned their looks but sought out the one he had followed after finding her note. She didn't return his gaze.

“Sit down, Freddie,” Nancy told him.

She felt wrenching within herself. As his surrogate mother she knew about his ego, about his blessed and cursed good looks, his mind almost as bright as her Bob's, and of course the virility of his youth that never quit.

What happened to that magic chemistry between them? Is this just emotional immaturity and narcissism—and is it on both Lilly and Freddie's part?

“I think you should tell us what happened.”

Hands on his thighs he stared at the floor, his voice shaking with emotion. It took him a few moments.

“You all know that Lilly and I have been living together. I guess you figured we would marry one day.”

He couldn't see, but could sense, the glares of his tios boring into his skull.

“It's what I wanted, too—we both did.”

Another pause, as he gathered his courage.

“But we also wanted to wait until we got started in our careers. You know how hard it is to deal with school and a family. I thought we both understood that. I guess I was wrong.”

He looked up at the two men weighing his every word. They gave him no cues.

“Anyway, I came back from class two days ago and Lilly was already home. We deliberately scheduled our classes differently to give us both some breathing room. Then, right out of the blue she tells me she's pregnant.”

Galen immediately picked up on the “breathing room” comment and knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. He wanted to hear the rest before jumping in.

“I told her we weren't ready for children, much less marriage. I asked her whether she had been taking her pill and she didn't answer me. I ... uh ... I got upset.”

He caught the look in Nancy's eyes.

“No, Tia, I didn't hit her. She's stronger than I am.” He tried to laugh but couldn't avoid the penetrating gaze of the four seniors. He couldn't look Lilly in the eye. Worst of all were the words he heard next.

“What did you say to her, boy?”

Edison's voice was quiet, controlled. He already knew the answer.

Federico the man stood up and faced him.

“I asked her to go to the clinic and take care of it.”

Nancy spoke up, her voice also tightly controlled.

“You didn't ask her, Freddie, you told her. You told her to get an...”

She couldn't finish the sentence.

“Tia, I thought we had an understanding.”

Galen jumped in but controlled himself.

“Lilly, what did you say?”

She hesitated.

“Tio, I thought he'd be happy. We'd talked about having a family and he was all for it.”

“I didn't mean now, Lilly!”

He felt exasperated, still not understanding her.

Now Galen asked the question, knowing the answer.

“Was this an accident, Lilly?”

She averted eye contact.

“I think so ... I mean I think I missed taking a pill or two after my last cycle. I didn't think it would be important.”

“Oh, come on, girl, you're not that stupid!” Sandy snorted.

Galen closed his eyes.

Maybe we really are two different species, each using the same words but meaning two different things. How foolish we become, how wrapped up in our own needs and egos. These two, physically adult, intelligent young people still function on the I/Me level
.

Sandy noticed him and moved nearer.

“I know what happened when you and June tried to save that state senator's daughter,” she whispered. “Do you want me to handle this one?”

He opened his eyes and alternated his gaze between Freddie and Lilly.

“How do we save them from themselves?” he whispered back.

Nancy broke the awkward silences.

“Everyone, let's go into the dining room. I'll make a quick snack.”

The two younger ones led as the oldsters rose slowly, but Lilly and Freddie were hesitant to walk together. Lilly moved to Nancy's side while Freddie hung back.

“Uh ... I'm not really hungry right now, Tia. I'll wait in here.”

“You're sitting next to me, boy,” Edison barked.

 

Lilly had no appetite. The waves of nausea that had been her morning reveille for a week returned as she sat at the table. Then Galen spotted the sudden paleness and eye closing followed by small beads of sweat on her forehead.

“Nancy, I think Lilly needs some more hot sweetened tea and some very cold Jell-O.”

She looked at Galen then saw Lilly's face. She nodded and turned to Edison.

“Bob, why don't you go open up Carmelita's room and let in some fresh air? I think Lilly might want to lie down afterward.”

“Don't I get my bologna sandwich?”

“Yes, Bob, as soon as you do that. Better do the same for Freddie's room. I think we're going to have two overnighters.”

The rest of the day passed in slow motion. Uneasy small talk dominated the meal. Lilly barely picked at her food then, assisted by Nancy and Sandy, stretched out on Carmelita's bed, propped up by pillows and staring at the wall between bouts of fitful sleep. Nancy had stayed with her until she dozed off the first time and gently tucked the blankets around her before leaving.

 

The bumblebee queen's multifaceted eyes detected the giant moving shadows nearby but ignored them. She had seen them before and knew they posed no threat to her. What was important was the brood within the hive.

She had begun alone that late-spring day, laying her first sets of eggs. The wax glands in her belly had spun the tiny incubators, and soon the eggs became larvae then pupae. Under her care they matured into the workers who would take over her gathering task.

Countless times she had flown to and fro, carrying the pollen bread mixture of clover pollen and nectar, safely nested in the special hollowed out corbicula of her hind leg. Now the first set of helpers had matured to perform that task, but the most important job of all lay ahead. She would brood and feed the special set of eggs that would evolve into her successor queens and their husbands for the next year.

It was her sole purpose in life, her genetic immortality, her legacy unto the generations.

 

In the late afternoon, Galen and Edison had gone outside to take up observation posts near the garden shed. Freddie followed them silently, watching them as they seemed to be watching ... nothing. But he knew from long experience that they never did anything without purpose.

“See that, boy?”

Galen chuckled to himself as his old friend donned his entomologist hat.

“Freddie, those are what your feeble-minded Tio Galen calls
Bombus hortorum
—bumblebees. You can learn a lot from those critters.”

Freddie actually found himself momentarily transfixed, as the queen and her workers continued their nonstop cycle of gathering nectar and pollen from clover blossoms and carrying it back to store in the hive.

In the years he had lived at Safehaven, Freddie had never noticed this activity, and he certainly had never thought about it. His mind, when it wasn't focused laser-like on the opposite sex, had been entirely occupied by electronics.

Galen moved to his side.

“Maybe what they're doing is nothing more than reflex instinct wired in by Nature. Or maybe they really do care about those who will follow them. What do you think?”

His face turned red. He shook his head slowly then turned and headed back to the house. Galen and Edison nodded to each other and continued to watch the bumble queen.

 

Nancy slept poorly that night. Edison lay beside her, an old man in noisy slumber. She stroked his face and the years fell away, revealing the awkward boy who insisted on sharing a canoe with her. She lay back and dreamed fitfully of a time when her entire being had been focused on the daughter who grew within her.

Lassie, de ye ken?

Angus, Angus Urquhart of the Clan Urquhart, is that really you?

Aye, Lassie, ‘tis me.

Is it my time, Angus? Have you come to pipe for me?

The implanted pacemaker/defibrillator lay womblike in her chest.

Nay, Lassie. I come t' tell ye tha' yer daughter will soon ha'e a playmate
.

The meaning of his words settled on her like a cowl of foreboding and her body rose up in bed. She cried out to him.

Not again, Angus, not again!

 

“Nancy, what's wrong?”

His old man's arms held her with surprising strength as she opened her eyes to see his worried face.

“I … I'm okay, Bob, just a bad dream. Go back to sleep.”

They both lay there, eyes closed, listening to the reassurance of each other's breathing.

 

The maroon morning sky heralded more wet weather on the way. Valley breezes held off the impending rising humidity.

She heard the retching and moaning coming from what she still called “the kids' bathroom.” She knocked on the closed door.

“Lilly, can I get you anything?”

She heard the gasping breaths, the attempts to control the nausea of morning sickness.

Dear God, it's been over fifty years and I can still remember how it felt
.

She heard the faint voice through the door.

“It's settling down now, Tia. I'll be all right.”

She turned to find Sandy beside her.

“I'm glad I'm past that age, aren't you?”

Unbeknownst to the other, each woman held one thought:
If only
…

They waited until a very pale Lilly emerged then followed her and sat by her bedside as she climbed back in.

“Feel up to talking, girl?”

Sandy had treated many a young woman in her African practice. She knew, as did Nancy, that talking was often the very best medicine.

“I don't know what to say. I couldn't go home. I couldn't tell my parents. Grandpa Alex and Grandma Debbie live with Mom and Dad now and I know that they wouldn't understand.

“That's why I came here. I've always felt safe ... and wanted ... here.”

Her eyes started to well up but she quickly wiped them with the tissues Nancy handed her.

“I'm sure your parents and grandparents would understand, Lilly. To hear Galen tell the story, your Grandpa Alex was quite a rascal as a boy. Good thing he married your Grandma. She was the one who settled him down. Least that's what Galen says.

Lilly just smiled.

“Tia, Sandy, I love Freddie. From that first day on the Shenandoah River, I knew. Someday he would be the one for me. He's never cheated on me, either.”

A raised eyebrow on Nancy's face brought a laugh from the young woman.

“No, Tia, it's true. And I haven't even thought of anyone else. But when I told him I was pregnant, it was as if he had
become
someone else, someone I didn't know at all. Why, Tia, why?”

Nancy thought of her Bob, husband and lifemate. He had never been like that. There were many things to be thankful for with him, even though he often seemed to lack common sense.

Sandy's heart jumped as she remembered her Josh. Straight as an arrow, he always said and did what he said he would do. At first she thought it was his Virginia Military Institute training. But halfway through her courtship she finally realized that Josh was a prince among men.

“I don't know, Lilly. Freddie has always been what your tios call a ‘young soul.' There has always been a kind of restlessness about him, a need to be seen and heard that his brother and sister never showed. But I know he loves you deeply.”

She took a deep breath.

“Some men need to mature at their own pace, to determine when they will shift into the next level of life experience. If they're pushed too soon ... well ... as you saw, they react like children who are suddenly told not all of the toys belong to them. Freddie wasn't ready for the responsibility of marriage and children.

“Lilly, remember how Freddie kept repeating that you and he had an understanding?”

“Did you?” Sandy chimed in.

The question seemed to take Lilly by surprise.

Nancy smiled.

“Yes, dear, even we can make mistakes, too. We like to shake our heads and laugh when our men go running off on whatever adventures that seem to draw them, captive to their hormone-induced masculinity. But we're not perfect, either. We wear our hearts on the outside and expose them to all attacks. And when it happens, we feel betrayed.”