Club Scars (5 page)

“You don’t scare me,” Kat said, trying for a confident swagger as she led the way to the living room. Ginny’s smothered laugh behind her confirmed that the pregnancy waddle ruined the effect. She had to sit her mug down on the coffee table as her own laughter threatened the contents. God, she had missed Gin.

Kat grimaced and rolled to look at the neon alarm clock; 3:34 glared back at her. The cramp rippled across her belly. Rubbing at the distended bump, she wiggled out of bed, trying not to wake Crux.

“You okay?” he muttered, his sexy growl deep with morning rust.

“I’m fine. I just have to pee,” she reassured him, padding into the dark bathroom. He rolled over, giving his pillow a thump before settling back into it.  She closed the door quietly, only turning on the small vanity light. Leaning against the counter, she stroked her stomach and waited. Minutes ticked by and nothing. Shaking her head at her paranoia, she used the toilet and washed her hands. Crux would be getting up in a couple of hours. She needed to get some sleep.

Opening the door slowly, she winced at the squeak. She caught her breath as another pain stabbed in her side. Her hand tightened on the door knob. Riding it out, she took a deep breath. Maybe it wasn’t paranoia. She tip-toed to the dresser. Where was Crux’s watch? Finding it, she squinted at the luminous face and waited. Her hands were shaking. Why was she so nervous? She’d been waiting nine months for this. Hell, she’d been waiting years for this, but she hadn’t thought it would ever really happen.

She bit her lip, a shudder working though her. The second hand ticked around the dial. A sterile room with a large industrial clock flashed into her mind. She shook her head trying to chase the memory away. The pound of her heart synced to the second hand in the silent room like so many years ago. Her stomach lurched and she swallowed desperately. Her knees shook. The remembered chill from the stainless steel table seeped into her bones. She glanced toward Crux’s sleeping form; needing to feel his arms around her so desperately at that moment.

The face of the watch blurred. A soft sob bubbled from her lips and a tear splashed on the luminous surface. She tried to wipe the moisture away with shaky fingers and fumbled the time piece. It clattered on the hardwood and she sank to her knees, searching the dark floor through tears that fell harder. The floor creaked and Crux squatted down behind her. The heat of his bare chest seeped through the flannel of her nightshirt and she pressed back against him, her shoulders shaking with the force of choked sobs.

“Talk to me, baby,” he rumbled in her ear, his strong hands coming around to palm her belly.

“I-I dropped your watch,” she whispered, leaning forward to run her hands over the floor.

Crux pulled her back to him.

“You aren’t crying over my watch. Did you have a nightmare?”

“No,” she said, her voice sounding tiny in the quiet room.

“Kat?”

The warning tone in his voice didn’t frighten her, but it brooked no argument.

“I think I’m in labor and I’m scared, Tommy,” she whispered, her nails digging into her palms to try and still the shake.

His arms tightened around her, his nose burrowing in her hair.

“I’m right here, baby, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“They said I was never going to be able to have a baby. What if they were right? What if something happens?”

“They thought the scarring would keep you from getting pregnant. The doctor said she will monitor things closely and if you don’t dilate right then she will do a cesarean. Everything is going to be okay.”

“You really were listening,” she said, trying to wipe away the tears.

“You’re my woman. Of course I listened. Now, let’s get you ready.”

“I don’t want to go and just sit there,” she grumbled, pushing deeper into his arms.

“I want the doctor to look at you as early as possible so she can evaluate if you need the C-section or not.”

“Listen to you, Doctor Croston.”

“It’s no joke, Kat. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you.”

Kat sobered at the sincerity in his voice and the intensity in his eyes and nodded. She let him help her stand. Almost immediately she doubled over with the force of the next contraction. Her fingers bit deep into his forearms, a little whimper escaping her as she rocked with the pain.

“Breathe.”

“I’m trying.”

When she slumped against him, he held her easily. Moving her to the foot of the bed, he helped her sit and turned to dig through the dresser drawer for a pair of pajama bottoms for her to slip on underneath her nightshirt.

“We’ll get you ready and then I’ll go out and start the Navigator and get it warmed up. Is your bag still in the coat closet by the door?”

She nodded, clasping shaky hands over her belly.

“Tell me this is going to be okay,” she begged.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said firmly. Determination was stamped over Crux’s scarred face. If sheer willpower could make this happen, her man had that in spades. “Text your doctor and tell her we’re on the way to the hospital.”

“My phone is on the charger there,” she said, gesturing to the night side table.

He circled the bed, grabbing the phone and handing her it with her pajama bottoms.

Struggling into the fleece pants, Kat sent a text to her doctor and Gin. It was no surprise when Ginny texted her back immediately.

I’ll meet you there. Do you need anything?

A little courage would be great.

I’ll be right there with you, little sister.

Kat bit her lip and smiled. She could always count on Gin. Crux’s boots pounded back up the stairs. He paused in the doorway, his perpetually mussed hair standing on end. She couldn’t help smiling and sending up a little prayer.
If you’re listening
God, give me a healthy baby boy that looks like his daddy.

“You’re smiling. You must have gotten a hold of Gin.”

“She said she’d meet us there.”

“Does that mean I can go wait it out at the bar?” he asked with a shit-eating grin.

“Not a chance. You put it there. You’re going to suffer right along with me,” she said, grinning back until another contraction took her breath away. The pain sobered her.

Squatting down in front of her, Crux took her hands and encouraged her to squeeze. “It’s going to be okay, baby.”

“Promise not to leave me. No matter what,” she whispered. “I mean it, Tommy. If things don’t go good, don’t let go of my hand.”

He knew she was serious when she used his first name. He nodded.

“I swear, baby. Heaven or hell couldn’t tear me away from you.”

She squeezed his hands, staring into his eyes. Finally she nodded. “Let’s go.”  

Crux raked a hand through his hair as he watched the doctor examine his wife again. Tension thrummed through his body. His leg jiggled impatiently. If he hadn’t been holding Kat’s hand he would have been pacing. Patience wasn’t a virtue he possessed. Feeling a slight tug on his hand, he looked down at her, praying the smile he offered was comforting.

“Everything is looking good, Katrina.”

“Kat. Please.”

“I’m sorry, Kat,” the doctor said, giving her knee a pat. “You’re progressing normally. Everything is looking good right now.”

“You don’t think we’re going to have to do a C-section then?”

“The way you’re dilating, the cesarean isn’t necessary at this time. I’m going to continue to monitor your progress. If anything changes you will be the first to know. Just try and relax.”  

“I was going to tell you that you should be enjoying your last hours of sanity, but then I remembered who I was talking to.” Ginny snickered.

“There’s no doubt that ship has already sailed,” Kat agreed with a grin. She reached out and snagged a piece of hard candy from her gift basket. “I can’t believe this basket you brought. I’m so spoiled.”

“All the girls wanted to be here, but someone has to run The Lantern. I promised to deliver the goodies, keep them updated, and Paparazzi the first pictures. Oh! Speaking of the restaurant, did I tell you that we tried Eva’s Alfredo lasagna as a special the other night and it went over really well?”

“That stuff is sinfully rich. I want to make that sometime for Crux. It’s a nice twist on a winter staple, like the white chili.”   

Crux flashed the Lord’s queen a thankful look. She was doing a good job of keeping Kat distracted from her fears. He didn’t know what the hell to say to her at this point. Everything in him was screaming to take her back home, lock all the doors and curl her up safe in their bed. It was irrational, but the feeling was consuming.

He stroked his thumb across her knuckles. It worried the shit out of him that she was scared. Kat had good instincts. Women had freaky instincts. What if there was something wrong with the baby? It had seemed the past six months every time he’d picked up the paper or turned on the TV the headlines had screamed about atrocities committed against women and children. Crime shows had glorified their “Ripped from the Headlines” tales of everything from babies cut from the womb to horrific decisions of life and death. If it came down to Kat or the baby, there was no decision as far as he was concerned. From the day he’d made her his, he’d known he would protect Kat at all costs.  

“What’re you thinking,” she asked softly.

Shaking the cobwebs clear, Crux forced a smile. “Thinking how much I love you.”

“You look fierce.”

“You keep wishing a kid just like me on us. I better be fierce to keep his ass in line,” he answered with a wink.

“What if the ultrasound technician was wrong and it’s a girl?”

“I’ll be over the moon to have a little girl as beautiful and sassy as her mama.”

“Don’t borrow trouble, Kat. That’s what Zeke always tells me. As long as mama and baby are healthy, that’s all that matters,” Ginny said. “A girl would just require more shopping.”

Crux rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that would be a horrible hardship for you women.”

“Did Kat mention to you that the doctor suggested a return trip to the spa around the six week mark?”

“Did she now?” Crux asked, giving Ginny a clearly unconvinced look. “You hear what the wily one is trying to blame on you now, Doc?”

“While I may not have officially prescribed a spa day, I can’t deny the benefits, particularly with the amount of stress Kat has been under for the past nine months.”

“I see how it is, Doc. You women just band together against us poor, defenseless males. We don’t stand a chance against beauty and cunning both. Did I just get billed for that advice as well?”

“All part of the services, Mr. Croston,” the doctor said with a small laugh.

Kat’s hand clamping around his jerked Crux back to the job at hand. Her beautiful features twisted in agony as she swayed in the bed in a useless attempt to ease the pain that gripped her. Sliding onto the bed behind her, he wrapped her in his arms giving something to brace against. All he could do was hold her. It didn’t seem like enough at this point.

“Try panting through it and scream if you need to,” Ginny offered, face twisting in a grimace of sympathy for her friend.

“I’m sure the screaming will come soon enough,” Kat hissed through clenched teeth before slumping back against Crux with a slow exhale.

Kissing the top of her head, Crux let out a breath of his own. He hated seeing her in pain. Palming her belly, he rubbed softly.

“Come on, kiddo. Don’t give your mama a hard time. You’re going to figure out real fast that that don’t fly in our house,” he growled.

“Hard ass,” Kat whispered with a little smile.

“If he comes out like me, he’s going to find out what kind of hard ass I can be.”

“You’re going to be a good daddy, just like you’re a great husband.”

“You might want to pull back on those drugs, Doc,” Crux said with a grin.

“I’m afraid you can’t blame pharmaceutics for Kat’s views. You’re going to have to accept the compliment, Mr. Croston.”

“You’re a great husband for me.”

“Damn good thing, woman, because I’m the only one you’re getting.”

“You make me feel safe and loved, beautiful and sexy, smart and funny,” she said, her voice breaking on the emotion.  

“Maybe it’s because you’re beautiful, sexy, smart and funny,” he suggested, humor coloring his gravelly voice. “Don’t go getting all sappy on me. I’m going to need my tough old lady to get through this.”

“Exactly what’re you
getting through
? I’m the one getting ready to push out a watermelon,” Kat snapped, trying to look at him over her shoulder.

“That reminds me. Make sure you take a couple of extra stitches, Doc. I want her back in original condition.”

Kat plucked out a couple of his arm hairs in retribution for that off-color remark, and he smiled into the side of her neck. He straightened as she tensed. She pressed back against him, her back arching in pain.