Clutch (Custom Culture) (13 page)

Chapter 18

Taylor

Four seagulls were perched on the white marina fence staring hungrily through the windshield as Scotlyn parked the car. She laughed. “I think they know we have food.”

We climbed out of the car, instinctively tucking our bucket of chicken and box of cookies beneath our coats for protection. An energetic coastal breeze had pushed the fog off the shore, and a full moon hovered low in the early night sky. “This was a great idea, Scottie. I’m really glad you invited me out here for dinner.”

“Actually, I tried to call you last week, but you’ve been hard to reach. I know you were out at the races last Saturday when Clutch crashed, and I figured you had a pretty good scare. I’m so glad I wasn’t there. Those races are terrifying to me.”

“I can tell you that after last week’s race, they are terrifying to me too. Sorry you couldn’t reach me. I got home late that night and was sure my parents would lock me in my room for a year. Nothing happened that night, but I went to bed with that creeping feeling you get when you’re sure something wicked is about to happen. I woke up the next morning and they’d taken away my phone and computer.”

Scotlyn gasped. “You mean you had to go cold turkey without technology.”

We reached the dock. The temperature dropped, and I held the chicken bucket tightly for warmth. “Yep. I told them they might was well lock me in a padded cell because I was going to be bouncing off the walls without my phone. They weren’t amused. They are truly a lovely pair. . . and so rational with all their decisions. I wasn’t supposed to go anywhere except school and home, but I reminded them that even though they took my electronics, they hadn’t taken my feet. So, off I went. It was pretty darn funny because I could stay out late and my mom couldn’t call to check up on me. It was driving her crazy, and I knew she badly wanted to give me the phone back.”

Scotlyn shook her head with amusement. She pulled two cookies out of the box and handed me one. “I personally know the world would be an altogether better place if dessert came before every meal.”

I bit the cookie. “I’ve been trying to convince my mom of that for years.”

The breeze grew stronger as we got farther out over the water. Small navy blue waves splashed up against the hulls of the anchored boats. “How did you get your phone back?”

I smiled to myself. “It was all rather diabolical on my part, but I had been without technology for a week. Unless, of course, you count the primitive computers in the school lab where any site that is worth visiting has been blocked. I was eating breakfast before school on Friday, and I told my mom that the day before a freshman girl had been standing at the bus stop and some scary looking guy had jumped out of a van and tried to grab her. I told her she got away and quickly called the police on her cell phone.” I finished the cookie and wiped the crumbs off my coat. “I could see the wheels of terror spinning and the reels of murderous scenarios turning in her head the whole time that I was reciting my completely bullshit story.” My chuckle had an edge of guilt. “I picked up my backpack and kissed her on the cheek. She was behind me with my phone before I could take one step outside.”

Scotlyn smiled over at me. “You’re right, diabolical but probably necessary for her to come to her senses.”

The Zany Lucy bobbed up and down and side to side in the rambunctious tide. We stepped on board. There was a ‘for sale’ sign in the kitchen window. “What? You guys are selling the Lucy?”

“I’m afraid so,” Scotlyn said as she unlocked the cabin door. “She just needs too much work, and we don’t have enough money for the upkeep.”

We stepped inside and immediately I felt a bit queasy from the close surroundings and movement beneath my feet. “Can we eat outside? I think that cookie might make a reappearance if I stay in here too long.”

“I’ll grab some blankets. See, living on a boat does have some pitfalls,” she said as she ducked into the bedroom. She reemerged with an armful of blankets. “I mean it can be lovely and incredibly romantic when all the elements are cooperating. But that is rare. The ocean has a mind of its own.”

I took hold of one of the blankets. “Gus has told me some really scary stories about his time out on the Bering Sea.”

Scotlyn was good at not verbally passing judgment, but her facial expressions always let you know what she was thinking.

“I’m not really seeing him,” I said quickly. “He just picked me up a few times this week from school and we hung out.” I had never gotten up the courage to say anything to Gus. I figured he was leaving soon and that would be the end of it.

We tucked ourselves onto the cushioned bench at the bow. We pulled the blankets over our shoulders and huddled for warmth. The deck rose and fell beneath our bottoms.

Scotlyn opened the chicken bucket. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, it’s always better out here in the open.” I took a bite. “I’ve only heard little pieces of information about Clutch. How is he feeling?” I’d been dying to ask her about him all afternoon, but I hadn’t wanted to seem overanxious. I’d acted silly as a desperate school girl for a long time, and I was determined to prove to everyone that I’d grown up. Of course, I still allowed myself the goofy pleasure of doodling his name all over my school notebooks. But no one else had to see that. And my doodles had definitely intensified since the night he’d called me. Even though it was obvious that he’d only called me because he was high and his words had been the drugs talking, I’d allowed myself the delusion of thinking that he’d meant them.

Scotlyn picked out a piece of chicken. “He’s fine. He has still been limping some and he has been pressing his arm against his ribs as if they pain him a lot, but I think he’s been much more distraught about losing that car.” Salty moisture drifted up off the water and we both shivered. Scotlyn tugged the corners of the blanket shut under her chin. “You know, I think he tried to reach you a few times, but just like me, he didn’t know that your phone had been taken.”

I looked up from my drumstick. “Really?” I had to force back the excitement in my tone. “I’m sure that my brother knew that my phone was gone. He and my parents spend a great deal of their waking hours discussing all the things I’ve done wrong. It would have been nice for him to have let other people know I didn’t have a phone.” I dropped the chicken bone into my napkin and leaned against the back of the bench. “I guess he would never have mentioned it to Clutch since I’m not supposed to be talking to him.”

Scotlyn reached for another piece of chicken and then decided not to take one. It seemed as if she had something she wanted to say, something that was distressing her, but she had a tendency to fall quiet when something upset her. She leaned back next to me and stared up at the sky.

I turned my head and looked at her. “There’s something you haven’t told me.” Not that I was sure I wanted to hear it, but her sudden silence made me curious.

She pulled her blanket tighter and wriggled uncomfortably for a second. “Your brother and Clutch aren’t talking at the moment.”

I sat forward. “Really? I had no idea. Jeez, the crap that goes on when you have no connection to the world. What happened?”

Scotlyn stared down at her hands and twisted the corners of the blanket between her fingers. When other people fell silent it was just quiet, but when Scotlyn fell silent a huge amount of energy sucked in behind the quiet. But she really didn’t need to say another word.

I leaned back and huddled beneath my blanket. The full moon reflected an amazing amount of light out over the water. “It was about me.”

She didn’t answer, which solidified my assumption.

“That’s just great.” I lunged forward and snatched up the box of cookies.

Scotlyn reached in the box for a cookie. “Look on the bright side. You’ve got so many people that love you, they’re all fighting over you.”

Scotlyn had no family except the one person who adored her enough for a whole family’s worth of love and that was Nix. And, stupidly, I sort of envied her lack of ties to the world. Less hassle all around. “Yeah, I’m the lucky one all right.”

The deck of the boat rose and fell, and my stomach dropped as if I was standing in an elevator. “I can see where the unsteady tide might make life aboard a little unsettling.”

“See. I think I’m looking forward to a house with a foundation beneath it. Then the only thing I have to worry about is earthquakes.” Scotlyn nibbled her cookie. “So, what are you planning to do once you graduate?”

The question had gone through my head hundreds of times, and I still hadn’t come up with a coherent answer. Sort of like the rest of my life, it was muddled. “In my perfect future, I’m studying fashion design, but I’m sure my vision of utopia is far different from my parent’s vision. I won’t have the grades for a four year college. I have only myself to blame for that though. Of course, if I reached for it, I could probably find some hidden repressed memory of something lame my parents did that caused my lack of ambition at school.”

“I could totally see you in fashion. You have this amazing sense of style that I’ve always envied. Like that cute little corset style top you’re wearing tonight. I never would have thought about pairing something like that with a flouncy skirt and short boots but it’s perfect.”

“Thanks. I made this top myself. I love to sew. My mom says I’m way too daring with my ensembles but I say tough shit. I wear what I like.” I drew the blanket over my bare legs. “But I must admit, this particular fashion statement isn’t all that practical out on a boat.”

“You are truly talented if you sewed that yourself. If you’re cold, we could go inside,” Scotlyn suggested.

“No, I love it out here on the water. Clears all the stuff out of my head that needs clearing. And lately, there’s been a lot of stuff.” I huddled closer to her. “So, what about you, Scotlyn? I know your earlier life took some really bad turns, but do you ever think about what you might want to do in the future?”

She paused for a second. “I’m going to start city college in the fall. I want to go into nursing.”

“Wow, that’s a tough profession. Good for you.”

She gazed out at the water. There were times when she was impossibly pretty, like no one else I’d ever met in person. “After the accident, I was alone in the world. It was like this horrible black hole had swallowed me. While the doctors and social workers and my awful aunt stood around trying to figure out why I’d stopped talking and what my grim future held, the nurses were there comforting me. I could see my own despair mirrored in their expressions whenever they came in to take my temperature or bring my food tray. Nurse Frannie was so cool, she actually came into visit me on her off hours. I want to be like that. I want to be there for some kid who needs it too.”

“I feel a little shallow now with my fashion designer dreams,” I said.

She hugged me and laughed. “Shallow? I’ve never met anyone with more depth than you, Taylor Flinn.”

We stayed cuddled together until loud footsteps on the dock made us turn. Nix hopped on deck with a twelve pack of beer under his arm. He hadn’t seen us tucked beneath the blankets in the dark. Scotlyn lifted her finger to her lips telling me to keep quiet. Nix leaned down to unlock the cabin.

“I guess you’re planning on getting plenty drunk tonight, huh sailor?” Nix straightened at the sound of Scotlyn’s voice.

“I didn’t see you sitting there.” Then he noticed me, and his mouth dropped open. “Hey, Taylor.” He glanced back down the dock and then back at me.

Scotlyn laughed. “Who are you expecting? Your secret lover?”

More footsteps pounded the wooden planks of the dock. Big footsteps, giant footsteps. The Zany Lucy tilted to the side slightly as he climbed on board.

The strangest sensation always surrounded me when I stood near him as if suddenly everything else around us had been sucked away and we were completely alone standing on some empty, desolate place, just the two of us, staring at each other, with sparks of heated energy flying between us, connecting us as much as pushing us away from each other. And always when I was near him, I could sense waves of tension flowing from him as if my presence caused him pain in some way. But this time was different. His shoulders were relaxed. His strong jaw wasn’t twitching. His fingers weren’t curled into fists. The only sign of tension was in his throat as his Adam’s apple moved up and down.

“We were thinking about going down to the beach for a bonfire,” Nix’s voice broke through the quiet.

I looked over at Nix.

“Can you stay, Taylor?”

I turned back to Clutch. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of me. “Do you want me to stay?”

At times, I forgot how massively built he was until I stood directly in front of him. His eyes looked pale and intense in the dim light. “What do you think?”

Chapter 19

Clutch

We’d filled a wagon with wood and beer and dragged the heavy load across the sand. The uneven ground didn’t help my knee, and twice, I had to reach down and press my hand against it to staunch the pain. There was still a dull ache in my rib cage, and something told me the injury was going to follow me around for awhile.

A rich, yellow light poured down from the moon, casting long streams of light along the shore. The fire erupted into tall lapping flames within minutes. Taylor had only a thin hooded sweatshirt on, and her smooth, tanned legs were bare.

I sat down in the sand and threw a blanket over my shoulders and held up the corner. Just like the night of the accident, she slid beneath the cover without a word. I lowered my arm and pulled her against me.

Nix and Scotlyn huddled across the pit in their own blanket. Nix threw me a beer but I hardly needed any alcohol. I was drunk already, drunk with the scent of her, the feel of her beneath my fingertips. After she’d crawled into bed with me, all I could think about was having her naked in my arms. I was tired of denying myself the one thing I wanted more than anything.

“Too bad Dray and Cassie couldn’t come out tonight,” Nix said. “Dray’s been in a really crappy mood. I think something might be going on with them.”

Taylor nestled even closer, and I had to fight back the urge to pull her into my lap. “I haven’t talked to him since the party. Maybe Cass is still pissed about the broken patio lights.”

“Nah, that’s not like Cassie. She hasn’t said anything to me at work but then we both keep so busy there, we don’t really have time to talk. And I make it a point never to talk about Dray with her. Too many landmines to step on in one of those conversations.” Nix looked at Scotlyn. “Have you talked to Cassie lately?”

Scotlyn’s profound silence crackled louder than the fire.

“You know something,” Nix said.

“It’s nothing, and I promised Cassie not to tell anyone. Let’s just say it has to do with her photography.”

Nix put his arm around her and pulled her against him. “You’re not going to tell us?”

Scotyln turned an invisible key in front of her lips.

“Fine. The secret life of women,” Nix sighed. “So, what were you two girls up to before we interrupted your little party,” Nix asked.

“Oh, nothing much,” Scotlyn said. “We were just about to strip and lather each other up in the shower.”

My entire body stiffened, but Taylor laughed.

“Holy shit,” Nix’s voice cracked like the wood in the fire.

Scotlyn shoved him hard, and he fell sideways. “Admit it, you bum, that’s the scenario that was going through your imagination when you saw us huddled together on the bow. What do you think we were doing? Girl talk. That’s what girls do. And, unlike you guys, sex didn’t come up once.”

Taylor reached up and poked my cheek with her fingertip. “I think they’re both catatonic now.”

“Hell yeah, it’s going to take me months to get that vision out of my head,” Nix said. “What about you, Clutch?”

“Huh? Sorry, I haven’t heard anything since she said ‘lather’.”

Scotlyn laughed. Nix pulled her into his lap and suddenly the fire pit seemed crowded. Taylor seemed to have the same feeling. She pulled off her boots and peered up at me. “Want to take a walk?”

Her mouth was just inches from mine, and I could not stop looking at it. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

I stood and then lowered my hand for her to take. As her palm crossed mine, it instantly sent waves of heat up my arm. I wrapped my fingers around her slim hand and pulled her to her feet. We trudged through the cold sand toward the water.

“How’s your knee feeling?” she asked. “I wanted to call you this week and see how you were feeling, but my wonderful parents took my phone and computer.”

“What is with your parents? They’ve really gone over the edge lately. And, your brother—” I started, but then decided not to step into the middle. Jason and I had not spoken since the fight, and the strain of it was slowly taking a toll on our partnership. Things had been said that could never be erased. I wondered how often Taylor’s parents had told her I wasn’t good enough for her. The thought of it had stuck like a knife in my gut all week. My only comfort came from knowing that Taylor had little respect for her parents. In fact, since I’d known her, it always seemed that she’d made a point of doing the exact opposite of their wishes.

“That’s all right. You don’t have to say anything about Jason. He’s my parents’ third pair of eyes, and I’m getting tired of it. But I can’t understand why he’s not getting tired of it.”

We’d reached the edge of the beach where the sand dropped down to the water.

Taylor looked down at her bare feet. “Sand is so amazing. It stays boiling hot all day in the sun, and by night fall, it drops to near freezing. I wish I’d kept on my boots. My feet are aching from the cold.”

Without hesitation, I leaned down and swept her into my arms. She threw her head back and laughed as her arms circled my neck. “You are feeling better.” Then her laughter subsided and she grew quiet. She laid her head down against my shoulder. “You’ve never carried me in your arms.” Her whisper soft tone was nearly lost in the sound of the waves. She didn’t lift her face from my chest. “I’m home when I’m in your arms.”

I held her tightly and hiked back up toward the deserted bike path. I dropped her incredibly long legs, took hold of her waist and propped her on the small retaining wall that had been built to keep sand off the path. The city had gone through the trouble of putting up light posts along the bike trail, but all of the lights had been broken by vandals. Our bonfire was a good distance away, and the rest of the beach was dark and silent.

Perched on the wall, Taylor’s face was almost directly across from mine. A strand of her long hair swept across her mouth, and I reached up and purposely dragged my rough thumb across her bottom lip before pushing the lock of hair behind her ear.

She was uncharacteristically silent as she sat on the wall, looking at me with those unbelievable eyes. “I waver back and forth about a lot of things in my life, but, James Mason, I’ve never stopped wanting you,” she said softly. She reached up and pushed open her sweatshirt revealing the corset style top underneath. The curves of her breasts lifted and fell with each breath.

For the first time, I stood within arm’s reach of her without my fists clenched to keep from touching her. I was done battling with myself. I was done reminding myself I couldn’t have her.

My fingers pulled the thin ribbon that held together the two sides of her top. The two sides of the fabric fell apart as the ribbon loosened. The rough tips of my calloused fingers slid over her skin as I pushed the sides farther apart. Her perfect breasts, breasts that I’d only seen in my mind until now, stood erect beneath my heated gaze and the cool coastal breeze. Her lush bottom lip dropped as she sucked in a breath. She was still wild and impulsive and she didn’t give a damn about what anyone else thought . . . and that was why I was fucking nuts about her.

The slow deliberation with which I moved shocked the hell out of me because more than anything I wanted to drag her off the wall and pull her down beneath me in the sand. My mouth pressed against the soft, creamy skin of her breast, and my tongue drew circles around her nipple. She tangled her fingers into my hair and pressed her breast harder against my hungry mouth. My hands slid up her bare thighs and without my coaxing she parted her legs slightly. My fingers trailed up the smooth skin of her inner thigh, and her fingers wrapped tighter around my hair as she lifted my face to hers. My mouth came down hard over hers, and she let go of me and grabbed the edge of the wall to keep from falling backward. Reluctantly, I pulled my hands away from the heat between her legs, and my arms wrapped around her. Every movement of her thin body beneath my hands, every tiny sound that escaped her, every inch of her soft skin made me hard with need.

Her head dropped back and my mouth moved down to her throat and neck. A bell rang in the distance, and I pushed it from my mind for a minute but then voices pulled us from the brink of losing all control right there on the beach. Two people were pedaling toward us on bikes.

Taylor’s lashes lifted slowly, and she gazed up on me. “Take me home with you, Clutch.” She’d whispered the request so softly, it drifted away on the breeze. But every word heated me to the core.

I lifted her off the wall and pulled her behind me through the sand. Nix and Scotlyn had disappeared completely beneath the blanket. Taylor walked around the fire pit and grabbed her boots.

“I’m taking Taylor home,” I said.

Nix’s thumb came up out of the blanket and then disappeared again.

We half-ran, half-stumbled back to the truck. Taylor held closed her sweatshirt with one hand and held tightly to me with the other. She pressed up against my back as I fumbled to get the keys in the door lock. She slid in across the front seat, and I climbed in behind her. Putting the key into the ignition took just as much effort as opening the door. My mind and body could think of only one thing, and I wasn’t completely sure I could get us home safely. I’d been denying myself for so long because I wanted this one girl so badly that no one else would do, and now that my self-control had been completely shattered, I was out of my mind with it.

The engine rumbled and the cab of the truck vibrated. Without warning, Taylor slid her hand across to the buttons on my jeans. She popped open the fly and slid her hand inside my pants.

“I’ll never make it home, Taylor.”

Her luscious lips turned up in a sly grin. She pulled her hand away, and I nearly fell forward with disappointment. She reached up under her skirt and slid off her panties. “Exactly.”

She climbed over to me, straddled my lap, and lowered her mouth to mine. Her sweet breath tickled my chin.

My hands went beneath her skirt and found the bare skin of her perfect ass.

“Do you still have a condom in your wallet?”

I looked up at her. “How did you know about that?”

She kissed me and pressed her smile against my mouth. “I plucked your wallet out of your pocket once. I always made it my job to keep track of everything you were up to.”

My fingers caressed her bottom. “Brat. And I guess I have to add pickpocket to my list of Taylor adjectives.”

Her tongue swept across my bottom lip. “You have a list of adjectives?”

“Uh huh,” I kissed her mouth and chin and throat. “Bothersome, irritating . . .” My mouth found her breasts again, and she arched her back to push them harder against my mouth. “Irresistible,” I whispered against her smooth, hot skin, “fucking amazing.” I lifted my face and pulled her mouth toward mine.

Car lights lit up the inside of the cab. “Let’s get out of this marina parking lot.” I was breathing so hard every word was a struggle.

She kissed me once more and reluctantly climbed off my lap. I backed out of the spot and tore out of the parking lot at drag racing speed. Her hand found my open fly again, and she teased me with her curious fingers.

I groaned and grabbed hold of her wrist. “There’s not going to be anything left of me if you keep doing that.” I pulled into the first empty parking lot I saw and drove straight to the darkest corner. I reached across to the glove box and pulled out my wallet. And then I looked over at her. Everything about her made me react. Even in the pitch black corner of the parking lot she lit up the interior of the truck like a thousand flickering candles. “I’ve imagined this moment a billion times but never in the front of this truck. Do you mind?”

She brushed my long hair off my face. “I’ve imagined this moment a billion times too, and I don’t give a shit where it happens. I just want it to happen.” She straddled my lap again. Her kisses started gently at first and then increased with intensity.

My hands went beneath her bottom and my fingers slid into her. A silky groan of pleasure rolled from her mouth into mine.

Her fingers pushed back my hair, and she pressed her mouth to my ear. “Make me yours,” she whispered.