Coalition of the Damned - 03 (31 page)

1

"Jesus, Bob!  Strike a match, will ya?" his wife Lucky called from the front of the RV.  "We're stuck in here, too, ya know!"

Bob groaned as he sprayed the air freshener in the tiny space and waved his hand in front of his face.  He forced open the door and practically fell out of the tiny bathroom then quickly shut it behind him.  "I'm sorry baby.  That diner really tore me up."

"We can tell." Her voice sounded nasally as she held her nose pinched.  "Are you sure you couldn't have held it til the next gas station?"

"I almost didn't make it long enough to drop my pants." He muttered as he settled back in behind the wheel of the huge RV.  He could feel his guts rumbling, threatening to let loose again.  He glanced to the rear view mirror and noticed the door to the rear bedroom shut.  He couldn't see out the rear of the RV now.  "Where are the kids?"

"Are you kidding?  When that stench rolled out from under the door, they headed to the back room and locked the door.  They just knew you died in there so they claimed the big bed and the TV." she smiled.

"Great." He mumbled as he fired up the large motor and put the behemoth into drive once more. 

"So how much longer til we get to Yellowstone and the great outdoors and nature and blah, blah, blah?" She whined, teasing him.

He knew that this outing was his idea.  He spent the better part of three months selling the vacation to his family.  The great outdoors, mountains, fresh air, clean water, trees, wildlife...who knew how much longer it would still be here so they had better experience it while they still could.  In the end, he had to buy them off one by one. 

Although he loved his wife dearly, he was shocked that even she insisted on something in trade.  He truly thought that she would support him in his desire to vacation in the great outdoors, but Lucky insisted on a new kitchen.  He planned on remode
ling the kitchen anyway, and it bought him sexual favors in the bedroom as she picked out her new cabinets and he gave in to her extravagances, but it still bothered him that she didn't back him on this with the kids and simply cross her arms across her ample chest and put her foot down.  "Your father says we're going camping, so guess what?  We're going camping.  And, you
will
enjoy it, or else."  Because when mom says it, it happens.  He learned that a long time ago.  Sometimes, it takes the kids a little longer to figure things out.

Keri, his twelve year old daughter, who really acted more like twelve going on twenty at times, insisted on clearing out the A
pple store.  iPhone, iPad, iThis and iThat.  As long as she had her technology, she was happy.  He prayed that God wouldn't be so cruel as to allow man to install cell phone towers or internet routers anywhere near where they were headed as he really wanted her to experience nature as it was intended...first hand, and not through a screen. 

His son Buck, though...he was a lot easier to please.  He went to the sporting goods store with Bob and after being talked out of the crossbow he wanted, settled on a lockback hunting knife, a slingshot, a .22 caliber pellet gun and a recurve bow with enough practice arrows to keep him busy at the archery range for a while.  The second part of the deal was the promise that as soon as they returned from their trip,
if
he behaved responsibly, the two would find Buck a dog that he could call his own.

Bob had to admit that of all of the blackmailing his family pulled, he was actually proud of his sons list.  A lot of the things he chose was actually 'boy' stuff that the two could make use of during their trip.  He sighed inwardly as he thought of the fun things they could do together and glanced at the built in GPS.  "We're almost there, darling."

"Joy," she moaned, "a week of bliss in the great outdoors."

"Two weeks." He corrected. "And it was supposed to be a month, remember."

"And I was supposed to get a complete kitchen makeover, Bob.  As it stands now, I'm only getting cabinets."

"And granite countertops." He added.  "Don't forget the gra
nite, Lucky.  That shit ain't cheap."

"No, but you are." She turned away from him to stare out the windows.

"Oh for the love of...why do you do this?" He shot her a sideways glance.  "This is supposed to be fun."

"No, rebuilding my kitchen is supposed to be fun."

Bob groaned and shook his head.  He had hired the carpenters to come in and do the work for him while they were gone as a surprise for her but she was ruining their vacation over the whole thing.  He saw the sign announcing the turn off and he flipped on the blinker for the huge house on wheels.

"You know, you'd think we could just rent a cabin or som
ething instead of bringing this monster." She sniped at him.

"Jerry said we could use it." Bob answered absently as he watched the road.

"Your brother is a piece of shit." She muttered, turning away from him.

"I don't know why you don't like him." Bob turned the large RV on to the side road.

"Um, maybe because every time we see him he has to show off all of his toys and brag about how much money he has." She retorted in a hateful tone.  "Plus he's always staring at my boobs."

Bob smirked.  "Well, I can't blame him there." He grinned at her playfully.  "You got awesome boobs."

She stifled a smile and hit him playfully.  "Stop it.  Don't make me laugh when I'm mad."

"Well, you do.  I'd stare at them even if you weren't my wife." He playfully admitted.  "We've been married fifteen years and I STILL love to see you naked."

Although she turned her face away from him, she beamed with pride.  She liked the fact that he still found her so attractive.  She had days where she didn't feel attractive, but Bob always made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.  She stared at the big oaf driving the giant land yacht up the narrow mountain pass.  She glanced to the rear door and saw that the kids still had the door shut.  A wicked smile crossed her face and she slid across the gap to his chair.  She slid her hand to his crotch and caressed him.  "Too bad the kids are right back there." she purred.

Bob nervously glanced from her to the road and back. "Why's that?"

"You make me hot." She teased. 

"Really?" He swallowed hard.  "You were mad just a second ago."

"I know." She purred in his ear.  "Funny how you can get my motor revving so quick when I'm pissed at you..."

Bob began scanning for a place to pull the motor coach over and Lucky smiled at him.  "Oops.  Moment's passed." She whi
spered.  "Too late." She stood up and swayed her hips back and forth as she glided to the rear of the motor coach to get something out of the back.  He watched her in the rear view mirror, his groin aching with the thought of what might have been.

"That wasn't nice." His eyes darted back and forth from the road and back to her.  He stared wide eyed as she stood straight legged and bent down to get something from the bottom of the refrigerator.  He nearly swerved the giant RV off the road watc
hing her tease him.

She stood up quickly and glared at him.  "Easy there, Tiger.  Don't kill us before we get there."

"Sorry." He turned his eyes back to the road.

Lucky returned to the front seat with an icy bottle of water and rolled it across her face. "I'm just so...so...
hot
!" She said breathlessly.

"You're evil."

"You were supposed to say, 'yes, dear, you ARE so hot'."

"Yes dear, you are so hot." he replied monotone.

"You are not earning any brownie points here, Bob." She cracked the seal on the bottle.

He smiled as he weaved the RV through the mountain pass.  They drove past the common camping grounds and the huge swell of vacationers, banners announcing some benefit rock co
ncert to ruin the sublime silence of the park over the weekend. 

Turning his attention back to her, "Well, by the time we get back you might rethink your opi
nion."

"I doubt it."

"You will."

"What makes you so sure?"  She asked, turning to face him again.  "Have a surprise waiting for us up here?"

"Not here." He tried to sound mysterious while dodging more cars trying to park closer to the concert area.

"What do you mean not...what did you do?" She insisted.

"Nothing." He answered honestly.

"You did something." She pointed the water bottle at him.  "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything." He stifled a smile.

"Robert Eugene Jennings, you tell me right this moment what you've done, or so help me..."

"What?" Bob shrugged.  "You'll not enjoy the vacation?" He grinned at her.

She turned and gave him an evil glare.  "Or you will not be enjoying any of
this,
" she indicated her physical self with her hands, "while we are out here in your idea of backwoods utopia.  Do you understand me?"

Bob swallowed hard and nodded sheepishly.  "I understand."

"Spill it, mister."

"I, um...may have hired the carpenters to go ahead and r
emodel your kitchen for you as a surprise for when we get back."

Lucky sat open mouthed for a moment, then shook her head.  "You goofball."

"What?"

"I thought you did something stupid." She leaned across and kissed him.  "That was very sweet of you."

"I had hoped so." He feigned indignation, "Thank you very much for ruining the surprise."

"Don't scare me next time."

"Don't scare ME next time." He shot her a frightened look.  "Don't ever threaten to cut me off.  That ain't right."

"Well, for the record, I would have liked to have been there while they did the remodel." She tapped her chin in thought.  "Just to make sure they did it right."

"Honey, what do you know about construction?" He fought the wheel as he chugged the huge RV up and over a huge rocky hill.

"I watch HGTV." She fought back a laugh.

"Yeah, like that's the same." He pulled the RV up past the signs that read 'hot springs ahead' and found a clearing.  "Hey, I don't know if we can legally camp here or not, but I like the looks of that site right there."

"What do you mean 'legally'?"

"Well, there isn't anything that says we can't stay the night, right?"

"I do NOT want to go to backwoods mountain jail, Bob." She argued.

"I won't let them take us alive, darling." He kissed her nose as he got up from behind the wheel.

"I'm serious Bob.  I think they eat people that look like us."

He shrugged.  "I'd eat you."

"I'm serious." She whined.  "I saw a movie once.  Hillbillies that were all inbred and...ugly and...smelly.  And they used to catch people and eat them and rape their corpses and..."

"And it was a movie, sweetheart."

"Well, so."

"The most dangerous thing up here is probably bears." He said absently.  "As long as we don't leave trash out..."

"Bears?  Did you say, 'bears'?" She cried.  "You didn't say anything about bears before we started this trip, Bob!"

"Honey, they're not that common.  The odds of actually seeing a bear are about a thousand to one."

"Dad!" Buck called from the rear of the RV.  "Come look at these bears!"

"Hey Honey, there's bears!" Bob said excitedly as he pushed past her and rushed to the rear of the RV.

"Bob..."

*****

Ranger Daniel Hatcher slowly worked his way through the thickening crowds of campers, day visitors and tourists.  His eyes scanned the crowds for trouble makers that he knew would accompany the concert planned for the night.  He shook his head as he watched a small group of teens that looked more at home in the concrete jungles of an inner city than anywhere close to the outdoors break away from a larger group and make their way behind the visitor's center.  The way the older youths kept sca
nning their surroundings, he feared that they were about to exchange drugs or other type of contraband.  Quickly judging the distance between himself and the teens, he snatched his radio from his belt and keyed it, "Unit Three, this is Unit One, come in."

The radio belched static for a moment before a female voice came back, "Go for three."

"I have a group of teens sneaking behind the Visitor's Center.  I have a feeling they're about to pass off contraband.  Can you intercept?"

"Affirmative boss.  I'm on it." The muffled voice replied.

Daniel sighed with relief.  He knew that if anybody could put the fear of god into those kids, it would be Shelly Montgomery.  Although she wasn't large, ugly or intimidating, she could be a bad ass and could more than handle herself if the chips were down.  His radio crackled and a second voice came across the speaker, "Three, I'm not far from you.  I can provide backup." it stated.

"The more the merrier, Two." She responded.