Code of Silence: Living a Lie Comes With a Price (37 page)

3. To get something we wouldn’t get with the truth.
In these situations, we lie to gain an advantage or a privilege. This is deception purely for our own selfish motives. If we could rank lying by degrees of nastiness, this is often the most devious type.

“I just got invited to go out with some friends.”

Your mom gives you that look.
“Not until your homework is done.”

“I don’t have any homework. I finished everything before I left school.”

Of course that isn’t true—but you figure you’ll find a way to get it done before class tomorrow. This type of lying is about getting something we’d never get if we told the truth.

4. To protect ourselves or someone else.
This is exactly why Cooper started the Code of Silence. It was all about protecting himself. His family. His friends. When it involves protecting someone else, lying can appear noble at first, but it doesn’t always end up that way. And with a little thought and effort, there are other ways we can find to stay safe or keep someone else safe without relying on lies to do it.

If we understand the types of reasons and situations that tempt us to lie, it can help us avoid dishonesty.

Let me mention just a few things about lying and honesty because if we get this right …

By the end of
Code of Silence
, Cooper made a promise to himself not to ever lie to his parents or anyone again. That can be a tough promise to keep, but a good one to try. If we really commit to being honest, in the long run, everyone would be so much better off.

If Coop were talking to you right now he’d urge you not to twist or hide the truth—or ask your friends to. He’d encourage you to tell the truth—all the time. I think that’s pretty good advice. And Coop ought to know. He learned it the hard way.

The hard way. That’s the thing about lies. It seems like lying is the easy road, but it really is the hard one. Imagine you are in a situation where you must make the decision to tell the truth or tell a lie. If you knew 100% that you’d get caught in the lie, you wouldn’t bother telling it, right? It’s good to remember that God has the ultimate “baloney detector”. We can never fool him.

As for me, I’m lining up with Coop, Hiro, and Gordy. I’m striving to be honest. Always. To live by a
Code of Truth.
How about you? Will you join us? Honesty always pays off in the long run. And that’s the truth.

—Tim

1. Cooper’s plan not to tell anybody about the robbery they witnessed
sounded
okay at first, but how was it really like lying?

2. Cooper thought the only way to stay truly safe was to stay quiet. Was that really the only way to stay safe? What could he or
should
he have done different?

3. Cooper pressured Hiro and Gordy to be dishonest, too. Hiro felt really uncomfortable with agreeing to the Code. What could she have done instead?

4. Even when Cooper didn’t come right out and lie to his parents, he deceived them by allowing them to believe something he knew wasn’t true. How is deceiving someone just another form of lying?

5. When friends or someone else pressures you to lie, or to deceive someone else, how can you handle that in a way where you won’t be dishonest?

6. Cooper was afraid of what would happen to him if the truth came out. How does fear tempt us to lie—and what can we do when we’re afraid to tell the truth?

7. Detective Hammer claimed he could tell when someone was lying with his built-in “baloney detector”. Cooper figured Hammer would see right through Gordy, for sure. Even if we could fool our parents, or teachers, or whoever, ultimately who
never
gets fooled? What difference should that make as far as how honest we choose to be?

8. As Cooper continues with the Code, the lies begin to unravel his friendship with Hiro, and even with Gordy. How does dishonesty destroy even the closest relationships?

9. Cooper’s lies bought him some temporary safety, but he found the price tag of honesty was a lot higher than he figured. How did it affect him when he saw he’d lost the respect and trust of Hiro and Gordy? How would it affect you if you lost respect or trust in the eyes of parents, friends, or others?

10. If Coop, Hiro, and Gordy didn’t tell the truth, Frank Mustacci might have been killed. How do innocent people get hurt when others lie? Can you think of some examples?

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