Coldwater Revival: A Novel (34 page)

Tate looked at me as though I was the fairest damsel in the land. I supposed, to him, I was. He whispered in my ear, “What do you think, sweetheart? Does the most beautiful girl in the world still want to marry me? There’s time to back out, you know.” Tate’s long fingers slid down my cheek and tilted my head to receive his kiss. The room seemed to spin, voices receding to faint murmurs as our lips joined. For that moment, it was just the two of us, sealing our hearts and our love for eternity.

Life with Tate Fletcher was surely going to be an exciting, unforgettable journey.

“Have you said your good-byes, Emma? The car’s packed and ready to go. So am I.” Tate’s gaze slid into mine, a long, slow plunge that melted my toenails. “Are you hating to leave, sweet girl? You look a little … perturbed.”

“I just have one more person to say good-bye to, Tate.” Though his eyes asked a question, he nodded his head and smiled a smile that revved my heart into a hard, fast beat.

“Take your time, beautiful. We’ll spend the night in Brenham. Just twenty miles down the road … and then you’ll truly be mine.”

Should Tate live to be a hundred, I doubted he would ever understand the thrill I knew when he spoke those words of ownership to me. It’s what I had been secretly dreaming of since the day we danced in the gazebo.

Forty-six

I had not walked the solitary trail in five years. Shame had kept me from it.

I spied it now, beyond the field—the hill of our loved ones’ rest. I turned my feet from the cow path and headed for the knoll, leaving my four-legged companions behind. The old bossy lumbered on down the trail, her young’un close behind. As the mama cow swatted flies with her straw-stiff tail, her enormous eyes focused on the clearing up ahead where a scattering of hay awaited her and her baby.

The sun dangled low over the horizon, hanging by a thread, it seemed. Sunlight spread a blanket over the land, lighting up the far side of the knoll, but casting the near side in shadows. Dying sunbeams outlined the markers that sat atop our grassy dome. I saw their shapes from afar: rectangular gravestones, two-armed wooden crosses, and square slabs of granite.

Winter’s stubbled grass crackled beneath my shoes as I mounted the hill. On the way to Micah’s gravesite, I passed weathered monuments, aged to gray by years of crosscurrents and seasons of rain. Some of the engravings were unreadable, for they’d been too oft traced by the windy finger of time.

Micah’s cross stood straight and tall, an etching of dark wood against a pale orange sky. His marker did not list, as other markers did. Nor did his mound have the haphazard look of a blue jay’s nest, as some did. Micah’s place was free of weeds and unruly stubble, cleaned and picked over like pecan meat stripped from the shell.

Mama’s still taking care of her baby.

As I circled the site, I spied a rolled-up rug that Mama must have tucked behind Micah’s marker.
For her knees, when she weeds his bed.
I unrolled the rug, laid it near the cross, and sat down. Leaning over, I rested my head against the wooden beams and whispered words of love to my brother.

“Hi, sweet Micah. I brought you some treasures. Been saving them for you a long time.”

My fingers trembled as I opened Micah’s tin and removed his possessions: the black obsidian stone, Papa’s pocketwatch, bits of eggshell from the turtle clutch, the perfect sand dollar, an eagle feather, five sparkly creek stones, and the arrowhead Elo had polished to glass. There were other things as well. I carefully lifted Tate’s whooping crane from my pocket and added it to the pile.

“I think Tate would want you to have this, Micah. It’s the beautiful bird my … husband carved for me. He’s wonderful, sweetie. You’d really like him.”

I hummed some of Micah’s favorite tunes as I dug a trench in the grass and loam. Then I placed his belongings in the ground and buried them at the foot of his headstone. The cross would protect them.

“We miss you so much, little brother. Caleb doesn’t know it, but sometimes I see him tapping out messages to you with his fingers. I’ve even spied him talking to you as though you were right by his side. I know he tells you things he won’t tell the rest of us. But I want you to know that we’re all doing fine. Mama and Papa aren’t so sad now. I think it helped when I told them about seeing you in heaven. It did their hearts good to hear how happy you are … and to know how much you love Jesus.”

As I talked to Micah, I plucked marbles of dirt and stray twigs from his gravesite, swept there by an afternoon wind. I swiped away my tears and kissed my fingertips. Then I pressed them against the name on the cross.

Micah Roan Falin.

“In the twinkling of an eye I’ll be with you again, sweet Micah. I’ll wrap you in my arms as I do in my dreams at night. Just a while longer and we’ll all be together in your beautiful home.” As I blotted my tears with the hem of my petticoat, I felt a shaky smile spread across my face.

“But until then, little brother—I’ve got a lot of living to do.”

Readers’ Guide

for Personal Reflection or
Group Discussion

Discussion Questions

Emma Grace Falin, like many of us, is trying to find her way in an imperfect world. In deciding to face her past and the guilt she still feels, she actually finds that God is at work in her life “for the good.” We all have past situations and broken relationships we must face in our walk with God. He wants to bring us revival and renew our understanding of his love and hope for our lives. As you answer the following questions, think about areas in your own life that can be healed through the power of God’s revival in your life.

1. With every good book, there is a good title. What is the significance of
Coldwater Revival
in the context of the book? Who finds revival? What impact does this revival have on the lives of the Falin family?

2. Guilt can keep us from enjoying our present lives. What were the effects of guilt on Emma Grace? How did it shape her perspective on her relationships and circumstances? What effects has guilt had on your life? How have you dealt with guilt?

3. We long to find peace in the deepest places of our souls, but sometimes it can be a most difficult road to go down. What leads Emma Grace to search out peace in her life? What does she have to do to find her place of peace? Where do you need peace in your life? How can you follow Emma Grace’s example of seeking out peace?

4. “Life was a sea of tangled memories—both good and bad. Barren was the possibility of unraveling one from the other.” How were Emma Grace’s good and bad memories entwined in her day-to-day life? How did untangling them help her appreciate and enjoy her life more?

5. The Falins, like most families, told stories over and over again about their children growing up. What is a story that your family tells about you growing up? How does it make you feel when they tell the story again? What significance does it have for you and your family?

6. It seems Emma Grace was never confident about who she was. What are some examples of how she struggled with who she was and her place in her family? How did her family try to make her feel confident and secure? How have you dealt with insecurity about who you are?

7. Sometimes, as with the Falin family in chapter 5, we can see how a good thing went wrong when we look back on a time in our lives. Think about a time in your life when a situation that seemed best for you, a friend, or family, resulted in a tragedy. How did God work on both sides of the experience to turn tragedy into good?

8. It’s hard to be younger and see your older siblings grow up and move on. Emma Grace always seemed to want to be like The Ollys. What memories do you have of growing up? What was the hardest “grown up” event or thing to wait for? How did waiting affect your relationship with your older siblings and family?

9. Children have vivid imaginations. In this book we witness this when the twins pretend they are going to the North Pole in the middle of summer. What games of imagination do you remember playing as a child? What props were used? Where did you go to play the game?

10. God often uses the people we’re closest to for communicating his will for us. How did God use Emma Grace’s family to lead her in her relationship with Gavin? Has God used your family in a similar way? If so, how did he lead you to his will through them?

11. Emma Grace had to make hard decisions to find healing in her life. Why is seeking healing so difficult? Think of some characters in the Bible who found healing. What did they have to face? What have you had to face to receive healing in your life?

12. Everyone in the Falin family had his or her own way of dealing with grief. How did each family member deal with loss? What is healthy and not so healthy about the ways he or she chose to grieve?

13. Looking back on childhood mistakes, we sometimes apply adult perspective in judging how a situation could have been different. How does Emma Grace do this to herself? What did she hear her family say to her about the accident? How did this impact her and her future?

14. Emma Grace has doubts about Gavin and whether she should marry him. What do you see in Gavin that seems suspicious? What did Emma Grace initially see in Gavin? Do you think her fears are justified?

15. Elo seems, at times, to be unemotional and uncaring, yet he is always there for Emma Grace as a playmate, defender, and brother. What does he do or say that shows how much he loves Emma Grace and his family? Who in your life has “looked out” for you?

16. Mama and Papa Falin seem to be wise, caring parents. What are some examples of their parenting skills? How do they take into consideration the different personalities of each of their children? What lessons can you learn about parenting from them?

17. “Know this, little one. You hold a place in my heart that no one else can fill. You always have … always will. It’s tearing me apart to go off and leave you like this, but for now, it’s the only way I know to help you. Your family loves you, Emma Grace. I love you. Don’t ever forget that. Just try to get well … for all of us.” What do you think was going through Papa’s mind as he said good-bye to Emma Grace? What does this scene show about Papa and his love for his family, especially Emma Grace?

18. The necessity of leaving Emma Grace with someone else to get well was hard for the Falins. Yet they knew that if anyone could relate to the loss that Emma Grace felt, it was Granny. How are Granny’s and Emma Grace’s grief alike? How are they different? Compare and contrast how they deal with their losses. Why is Granny’s house the best place for Emma Grace? How does each come to respect the other?

19. Though Tate knew that he loved Emma Grace long before she knew that she loved him, he was willing to wait for God’s timing. Which of his actions show his willingness to wait for her to discover her love for him? How is Tate different from Gavin?

20. Love always finds a way. How does love find Emma Grace in the midst of tragedy and hurt? What are the circumstances that God uses to bring Tate and Emma Grace together? God is making a way for his love in your life too. What have you seen him do in your life that affirms his love for you? How can you be more open to him working in your life through circumstances and relationships?