Authors: Candace Smith
“You are more than okay, Sharell. Tian and I passed on a Casiqua. We are both pleased we took the chance and waited. Even on Actana, no other mate can compare to your beauty.”
Sharell could read the sincerity in his eyes. After such a long hiatus from men, well, she was wrong. In a strange way, the twins were a lot like the men in her novels. There was no deceit in their devotion towards her. More and more, she could feel a part of herself joining with them. It was thrilling, terrifying, and comforting. How those emotions could flow together, she had no idea. “Chaya, I know it has only been two years since I’ve been on the ground, but I miss it. What do I need to do to leave the ship?”
“It is mostly manners.” He laid the tablet on the table. “I miss the wind through the finion trees, the smell of the air and the warmth of the sun, as well. I did not realize how badly, until I watched your expression when you first saw Actana.” Chaya was surprised by his feelings. This was much more Tian’s sentiments. He should be missing hunting and strength games. “You will be happy with the family we make, Sharell.”
God, his deep voice mixed commitment and a hint of pleading. The commitment Sharell could deal with and understand from the giant, but the pleading made her uncomfortable. It occurred to her he was struggling to make her comfortable and it was difficult without Tian present to balance him. “Okay.” She laughed nervously. “This is uncomfortable for both of us.”
“I’m not uncomfortable with you.”
“No, but you aren’t Mr. Mushyfeeling, either. I appreciate you sharing your feelings on Actana with me, but I see you more comfortable stomping around down there, growling at people who piss you off.”
“I would do more than growl if they approached you.”
“I’m sure you would, Chaya. Let’s slide over to what I need to learn. You seem to enjoy the thought of training your new puppy.”
“You are not a puppy.”
“No, but your father thinks I’m a bitch.” The thought echoed a shout through her mind from long ago; her father and mother, fighting again. He had run over Sharell’s pink bicycle and dented his car’s bumper.
Charlotte Anne, where is that little bitch!
“He is very protective over his family.”
“You’re seven feet tall of solid brick. Does he really think I could hurt you?”
She hid between the bookcase and drapes and heard the first slap.
“He worries more that you will hurt my pride when we surface.”
“Oh.” She grabbed frantically for Chaya’s voice, trying to drown out the past
.
“I’m sure your father would feel the same for you, Sharell.”
A door creaked open in her mind. Her father stood behind it, with his bloodshot eyes glaring at her. Her mom stood behind him with her eye already swelling and bruising, and Sharell pulled her blanket over her head and cried. “No, my father wasn’t like that,” she whispered. She struggled to get the vision from her thoughts, but something bothered her. A revelation or denial was trying to surface. It was something she had buried a long, long time ago.
“Our dark father just wants what’s best for his sons and their new mate. He wants you to feel… Sharell?” Chaya watched her hand slowly pull back from the fruit bowl and rest in her lap for a moment before she began to shake. “Sharell?” Chaya walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. She continued to stare vacantly and tremble.
Chaya walked to the desk, lifted his wrist and said softly, “Tian, I need you. Now.”
Tian was with other light twins discussing the Earth mates when he felt his brother’s … fear?... “I must leave.” He was almost to the door when he received Chaya’s message. He walked in to see his brother stroking Sharell’s hair, and after working through Chaya’s emotions, he brushed her. Nothing.
There is nothing, Chaya. She has fallen into the tunnel again.
Tian knelt beside her and held her quivering hands. “Sharell?”
* * * * *
She stood between the bookcase and the drapes, squeezing her eyes closed and trying to block out the noise with her hands.
Make it stop. Please, daddy, stop.
She had done nothing to help her mother. Sharell did not scream, did not try to run out of the house for help… she just prayed her father would not find her.
That’s right, baby,
her mother drawled when his car pulled into the driveway.
Hush now, and stay invisible. Just stay here or you’re next.
She had been next, plenty of times. Sometimes, she had been first. This time, he had fooled them. Her mother finally realized the danger and planned to leave. Her dad was supposed to be out of town. He was just testing them, and letting them know he knew how they conspired to desert him. And now, Sharell tried to blend into the shadow between a bookcase and heavy drapes meant to hide them from the neighbors.
Why had she forgotten? Why did she let herself believe her mother chose to remain with the dangerous man her father had become?
You know why, Sharell. Because, you did nothing to help her. It was easier to be angry with her than admit you hid, scrunching your eyes closed, covering your ears from her screams… doing nothing.
* * * * *
“Farisa?”
“Remind me what it is you were speaking of, son.” Farisa’s hand brushed through her new daughter’s hair. She looked so fragile in the big bed, and her beautiful green eyes remained fixed. Enilian, her light mate, held Farisa’s other hand, calming her. She had never left the surface before.
“I was explaining how dark father protects our family,” Chaya replied. Between pacing, he stopped to stare at his mate, horrified at what had transpired. “I never should have tried bonding without Tian.” And now, each of them had traumatized their mate and caused her a dramatic retreat. They were failing miserably, and Chaya felt the tenuous foundation of his family hierarchy beginning to crumble.
“Chaya, you need to remember, son. Tell us exactly what you said to her. Tian, hold her hand and I will take the other.” Enilian was a strong light healer and able to assist with restructuring psychic paths. He sat down and stared at the woman. “She is lost.” He already had Danilo check and make sure this had not happened to the other women.
Chaya stared at her and Danilo took his arm. “Trust your light father. He will guide her back to us.”
Enilian said softly, “Your exact words, Chaya. Tell me what happened.”
“We were speaking about Actana. She wants to surface badly, and asked me what was required. The discussion turned to her worry that dark father did not like her. I explained how he was concerned for my pride.”
“Your exact words, Chaya,” Enilian prodded. “What were you saying when this happened?”
“I said I was sure her father would feel the same. How dark father just wants what’s best for us. And then her eyes froze and she began to shake.” At least that much had stopped. She was still as a statue and it was even more frightening.
“Tian, what did you learn of their history? Is there some reason the men do not protect their mates?” Enilian had researched societies where men abandoned them after bonding, but the planet structure was designed around this.
“Other than only one mate, they are not much different from us. Local mannerisms are different.”
“Then, we must follow down the tunnel and go to her. Do not let go of her hand and stay near me.”
“Yes, father.”
Oh, Sharell. Please.
Something was trying to force her hands from her ears. More hands were trying to open her eyes.
No. No, don’t do that. He’ll find me. He’ll find me because I’ll see mom crying on the rug with her head all covered in blood. I’ll scream, and I’ll be next.
Tian was breathing deeply with her pain and fear. Enilian whispered, “Who is that with her, Tian? It does not feel like a light twin.”
“I don’t know. I have sensed it as a cloud over her mind at times, but I have never been able to hear words before. Is her mind split?” It had happened with twins, if one died before the other.
“This voice is more like a child. It is trying to keep us away from her. Something tragic has happened to her mother, and she is frightened that she will be discovered and it will happen to her.”
“Tian, tell him about the books.” Chaya stood over them, but did not touch her.
“They scribe false history. They make up fantasy for enjoyment.”
“Then, it is possible her protector is a fantasy? This would make sense and explain why I can put no physical form or face on the shadow.” Enilian continued to stare into her eyes and hold her hand. He broke through the shield and gasped. “Farisa, I was wrong. I will not let you be a part of this.”
Farisa looked at the pain in her sons’ eyes. “I have watched my twins suffer as you have. This woman has brought back hope to them, and I feel I will sink into despair with them if she is lost.”
It was unusual for her to speak quite so openly, but she was also required to let her mates know if something distressed her. And it was their obligation to protect and sooth her.
Enilian said, “It is a terrible fear, Farisa.”
“You cannot help her if you cannot see what it is. You cannot see what it is without a woman joining with her. I need to do this for my sons.” Farisa was scared, but she knew she had to do this.
Danilo pulled down the viewing screen and Farisa put her hands on Enilian and Tian’s shoulder. Farisa forced herself to remain calm and act as the conduit for the girl’s thoughts… and they saw it all. Everything was shown on the screen, and they were silent as the images changed.
Tian was crumbling under her despair, yet continued to hold her hand until the connection was broken. Enilian pulled Tian’s hand from hers. “Chaya, sit here with your mother and hold your mate’s hand.”
Chaya murmured, “I did this to her.”
“No, you did not.” Enilian was as rattled as the rest of them; perhaps even more so, because of his sensitivity. “Her father did when he slew his mate in front of her.” Enilian shook his head. “She was only a child, and her mother made her promise to stay hidden to be safe. It was a long, painful time, and she is overwhelmed with guilt and fear. It never left her.” Enilian ran his fingers through his blonde mane. Never, in all Actana history, had a twin killed his mate.
Danilo, they may be too violent. You said she attacked Chaya.
No, Enilian. It was her anger over being forced under our rule. We know that sometimes causes aggression. If you could see her play with the Casiqua mate, or the way she was enraptured with Actana… I cannot believe she is dangerous.
Chaya watched the silent exchange between their fathers.
Tian, light father wants to take her away. Dark father has already seen her dominance.
Trust, Chaya. Let them decide.
Tian was exhausted from the psychic bonding. His fingers stroked through Sharell’s hair as he continued to try to reach her.
If they want to take her away, we will exile to the outlands with her.
What if we can’t bring her back?
Tian thought for a moment.
Let me take her hand.
He took Chaya’s place by her side.
“Tian, her feelings will overwhelm you,” Enilian warned.
Tian stroked her brow with his other hand. “No, they won’t. I’m bringing her back to us. She needs to know she no longer needs to live under this shadow of fear and guilt. Chaya and I will keep her safe.” He leaned down, trying to remember the fantasy’s child voice and the things it said to calm her.
“Come back, Sharell. Take your hands away and open your eyes.” He kissed her ear while he whispered. “You are safe with us. He is gone, Sharell. He can’t find you here. Chaya and I will not let him near you. You know this, Sharell. And mother is here. A mother, Sharell, who wants to meet you.” Her hand curled around his. “That’s right, come back now.”
I can’t. I can’t trust them.
Farisa held Sharell’s other hand up to Chaya, stood and whispered, “She needs your strength and to feel your protection, son.”
Chaya held Sharell’s hand to his lips.
Oh thank god, she blinked. She blinked, Tian. Keep talking to her.
“You feel us both with you, Sharell. Let your past go. Let it rest. We will take care of you.” Tian tasted salt from a tear that had rolled down her face. “That’s right, say goodbye and come back to us.”
Sharell watched the scene in the living room begin to spin slowly, then faster and away into darkness.
Her eyes could have focused better if they were not filled with tears. She looked at Tian and cried, “I did nothing. I stood in a corner and didn’t even scream for help. I stood in a corner while he… while he…”
Tian waved heart-crushing calmness. “Chaya, could you get sachan for her? She’s okay, now, but I am too tired to push influence for long.”
Sharell looked into his eyes. She could see the strain and exhaustion, and scolded, “I don’t like when you do that.”
“I know you don’t.” He kissed her hand. “Just a bit longer. You’ve been gone for a while.”
With his help, she sat up and Chaya held the small glass. It hit her quickly and she swept her eyes around the room, noticing the company. Her eyes met Danilo’s and filled again. “I didn’t do anything to help her.” Sharell knew they all learned her terrible secret. Of course, they would condemn her. “Are you going to trade me to Adam One?”
“Rashilla Three, the landfill? My sons have told me that is your wish,” Danilo replied.
“No,” she gasped, clinging to Tian. “No, I want to go to the rainbow planet. I want to go to Actana with Tian and Chaya.”
Chaya turned to his fathers. “Please. She is only safe with us.”
Farisa smiled when the green eyes widened on her. Sharell studied the woman. She was serene beauty, tall and graceful with the kindest blue eyes Sharell had ever seen.
“This is Farisa, our mother,” Tian told her.
Farisa glided forward and knelt by the bed. She stroked a hand down Sharell’s wet cheek. “You need a mother, Sharell. You need me to show you the mysterious beauty of Actana that even light twins do not see. We all live in the same house, so I will always be near. You will have a sister in Milana. She waits on planet with the first-set twins, anxious to meet their brothers’ mate.”
Sharell looked up at Chaya and scowled. “I’m not presentable.”
Farisa turned to her husbands.
Danilo, it might be best to bring the mates to surface. No matter how long we keep them up here, there will be disruption. The scrolls recount it is necessary.
And what of the problem with the Casiquas?
We will keep close watch on them and see if there is bonding. Brother, neither the Fontisa nor Naresis found acceptable mates. The second-set twins have sunk to despair and want to make another journey. If this species is able to adapt, you said there are enough on Rashilla Three for all of them. I need to discuss this with council. To bring so many mates from one species might not be agreeable. For now, let’s bring the mates to surface.
Sharell looked up at Farisa and whispered, “Doesn’t it drive you nuts when they do that?”
Farisa figured her comment was caused by confusion from the sachan. “Do what?”
“You know. The silent speaky thing.”
“Twin-speak?” Farisa leaned over and whispered, “Only when they double team ideas during joining. That can truly cause some passionate surprises.”
Sharell’s cheeks flamed even through the sachan. “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“It is but one more thing to look forward to, daughter.”
Maybe it was the sachan, but Farisa made her feel almost as calm as Tian could. She was tall and stood proudly, like a queen, between her two husbands. The desire in her and Danilo’s eyes was embarrassing to watch, and Sharell reminded herself he had been away from her for five years. Her eyes floated down to the woman’s collar. It seemed more like a crown than a sign of ownership. “This is so confusing,” she sighed.
“You expected to see her cowering at their feet and miserable?” Tian asked quietly.
“Something like that,” Sharell admitted. “God, it’s like something from a book. Even the brothers…”
“It is torturous to be away from our twin. Only the strongest can manage it.”
“Because of the way you balance each other.” Sharell had already suspected this. There was no other way their society could manage, if not for the family structure they held. “Will you still fight with your older brothers?”
“Absolutely,” Chaya grinned. “But now, it will be them jealous of us.”
“Chaya,” Tian warned. “You will scare her again. Sharell, the family melds together and forms a bond. We call it a family hierarchy, with our dark father as head of our tree.”
Danilo and Enilian decided it would be best to bring Sharell to the surface. Farisa found the spaceship unnerving and she needed the comfort of being on planet. After turning command over to Jifa, they made their way to the shuttle.