Authors: Melissa Toppen
Tags: #Romance, #two hearts, #Erotica, #breathless series, #New York CIty, #ohio, #Sex
After a couple of minutes, I manage to peel myself out of bed. Still dressed in the clothes from last night, I stumble to the bathroom and cringe when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I pull at my tangled hair, trying to tame the mess of waves but it does me no good.
Deciding a shower is the only way I am going to feel even relatively normal again, I turn on the water and strip out of my wrinkled clothes. The warm water soothes my body but does nothing for my headache.
What the hell happened last night? I don't remember drinking that much. Hell, I don't remember much of anything. How did I get upstairs? Did I make an absolute fool of myself? Oh god, do I even want to know?
As the water fades from hot to a much cooler temperature, I struggle to recall the events that led me to the way I feel right now. I know it started with that stupid game that Ian suggested we play. Oh god! The memory of me announcing to everyone that I have never had sex comes back to me clear as day. It's not like it's some huge secret. Everyone knows I haven't dated since Kyle and if they didn't already know we hadn't slept together, they sure as hell do now.
I groan out, sinking my head into my hands. I am such an idiot. I don't drink often, clearly this is the reason why. But that's not all there was. I can't quite piece it together but I know that there is something that I am not remembering, something important.
I flip off the now cold water and slip a towel around my body. It isn't until my toothbrush hits my mouth that I remember Zayne's lips on mine. I stop mid-brush, remembering the way his tongue moved inside my mouth, the way my entire body lit up in his arms.
That didn't actually happen, did it? Certainly that part is just a crazy dream that I am confusing with my drunken actions. But then again, I know it was real. I can remember it so clearly. The way he pulled me into his arms, his hot breath against my face. No, it wasn't a dream at all but a staggering reality.
But like all good things, nothing can last forever and my mind chooses this moment to remind me of how the best moment of my life quickly turned into something else entirely. The way he pushed me away. How cold he was afterward.
The memory brings my anger back to the surface but it's not just Zayne that I am angry with. I'm angry with myself. I know that Kyle is gone and that he is never coming back but allowing myself to give into Zayne feels like such a betrayal just the same. After Kyle, I just couldn't bare the thought of being with another man on any level other than friendship. But last night I crossed that line. For the first time in five years, I allowed myself to give into the temptation of my older brother's sexy as sin best friend. And what's worse, he made me feel like a fool for it. He pushed me away like the kiss meant nothing to him. Did it even mean anything to me? I know the answer to that but I don't want to accept it.
Truth is, it meant a hell of a lot more to me than it should have and that knowledge alone leaves me not only angry and embarrassed but also terrified. What is wrong with me right now? I have gone five years not even looking in the direction of a man and then one day Zayne shows up and I feel like I am a completely different person. For the first time in a very long time, I feel normal. And for whatever reason, that feeling does not sit well with me.
After throwing on Emma's red bathing suit and slipping on a black sundress, I head downstairs in desperate need of water and some ibuprofen. I think the overflow of memories running through my brain like a movie has only intensified the ache running through my skull.
To my relief, the kitchen is empty and after grabbing a bottle of water and two headache pills, I head outside and flop down in one of the comfy chairs that looks out over the water.
I can't keep my mind from wandering to Zayne. While I am mad and hurt about the way he treated me, I'm also a little grateful at the same time. I know that I need to avoid him. Him being a complete asshole only makes that task easier. Besides, do I really believe there could be any kind of future for us? Hell, I think dating would even be a massive stretch for a man like Zayne. And of course, I can't forget about Alec. Zayne is his best friend, his business partner, and the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, probably even more than me.
I don't know a whole lot about their friendship. Just that they are very close and that Zayne helped Alec through some pretty challenging times after they moved to New York. Alec would never tell me what exactly but from what I have gathered, Zayne helped him out in some big ways and things like that don't go unnoticed by my oldest brother.
He doesn't trust easily and he trusts Zayne. That's really saying something. Suddenly my petty infatuation with Zayne seems so much less important. Yes, I need to avoid him for my own well being but I also need to avoid him for Alec. Being as overprotective of me as he is, I can't see him taking something like a fling between me and his best friend lightly.
“How are you feeling Gracie?” Rob's voice interrupts my thoughts and I turn my attention to him. He looks freshly showered and completely energized. I only wish that I shared in his enthusiasm to face another day.
“I've been better.” I shrug, turning my attention back out to the water.
“Rumor has it your two knucklehead brothers fed you a half a bottle of whiskey last night. I must admit, I thought I would find you passed out in the bathroom this morning.” He chuckles lightly and then takes the seat next to me.
“Stomach of steel.” I laugh, patting my belly. “My head on the other hand.” I say, running my fingers across my still aching forehead.
“Yeah, hard liquor will do that to you.” He says, another light chuckle escaping his lips.
“So who spilled the beans?” I ask, glancing to meet his eyes.
“Ian.” He says on a light laugh as if the answer should be obvious. “Well that and I came down for a glass of water last night and I sort of saw you and Zayne on the patio.” He says apologetically.
Instantly fear cripples me and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself. Before I have a chance to respond, he speaks again. “Don't worry, your secrets safe with me.” He says, giving me a wink. “But I wouldn't be a very good step father if I didn't at least try to warn you about men like Zayne.”
I hold my hand up to stop him. “You don't need to say anything Rob. I know. And last night was definitely a one time thing.” I say, relaxing back into my seat.
“Well I would be lying if I said I wasn't relieved to hear that. You're a sweet girl Gracie, you deserve a man who will appreciate you and cherish you. I really want that for you kiddo. I know you've had a lot of shit luck but I think one day you're going to find a man that you love so much that all the bad things will seem a little less important. We always carry those we have lost with us but eventually we learn to love again.” He reaches out and pats my hand.
“Thank you Rob.” I say sincerely. “And not just for this talk but for everything you've done for my mom. After dad died, I didn't think I would ever see her smile again. But you have brought her back to life and for that I will forever be grateful.”
“I appreciate that Gracie. But I think she is the one who brought me back to life, not the other way around.” He says, his eyes breaking away from mine to stare out at the water.
The silence stretches between us for several minutes before Rob excuses himself to go see what's taking my mother so long. I know Emma is likely to sleep half the day and I can only assume the boys will do the same. Considering the late night we had, I can't believe I even woke up so early but then again I have always been an early riser. Even as a child on summer break, I would wake up at the butt crack of dawn no matter how late I stayed up the night before.
Deciding to take advantage of the early morning sunlight, I grab a beach towel and make my way down to the dock. I lay the towel out in front of me and slip out of my dress before lathering my body in some of Emma's expensive tanning oil.
I lay on my stomach and rest my head on my arms, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my back. After about an hour, I roll to my back and lay my arms at my sides. The sun is blinding but tolerable through my sunglasses. I close my eyes again and listen to the sound of the water lapping underneath me. It's so peaceful here and while I am more than ready to start my life in New York, a part of me would really like to just stay here forever.
Footsteps walking across the dock pull me from my sun induced coma but I make no attempt to move, figuring Emma has finally woken up. “Bout time Em, I was starting to think you were going to sleep the day away.” I say on a laugh.
“I think she probably will.” Zayne's voice cuts through my ears and my head shoots up, completely caught off guard by his unexpected appearance.
“Oh, sorry. I didn't realize it was you.” I say casually, laying my head back down.
“Sorry to disappoint.” He says, amusement lacing his voice.
“I don't know where Alec is if that's why you're down here.” I say, again not looking up at him.
“Actually, I was looking for you.” He says, his usually perfect voice coming out with a hint of hesitation.
I peer back up at him, for the first time registering his appearance. He's dressed in charcoal board shorts and a sleeveless white shirt that shows off the deliciousness of his massive biceps. While I try not to stare, it's very hard to rip my eyes away from his perfect flesh.
“I didn't know you had a tattoo.” I try to cover up my gawking by pointing at the large black tribal that starts at his shoulder and wraps all the way down his upper arm, coming to a stop just inches above his elbow. How did I not notice that before?
“I've got a couple.” He says, shrugging. “Anyways, I came down here because I was hoping we could talk.” He says, shifting his weight from leg to leg.
“Okay, talk.” I say, trying desperately to play it cool and not embarrass myself anymore than I already have in front of him.
“Well I was thinking we could take the boat out. Rob said it was cool and the others will probably be asleep for at least a couple more hours.”
“I don't think that's such a good idea.” I say, wrinkling my forehead together. “You and I alone don't mesh well and I usually end up storming off. If we're out on the boat, I won't have anywhere to escape to when you piss me off.”
“That's the point.” He says, a wicked smile turning up the corners of his mouth as he leans down and takes my hands. I allow him to pull me to my feet but quickly realize that I am still only dressed in a little red bikini. Normally I would be frantically trying to pull my dress on and while it's the first place my mind went, I immediately decide against it.
If this man is going to torture me with his impossibly good looks, the least I can do is give him a taste of his own medicine. Not that my body is even half as miraculous as his but right now, that's not the point.
For once, I just want him to feel an ounce of the uncomfortableness that he makes me feel every time he's near me. Not that I have that effect on him but damn it if I can't at least try.
“What are the odds that if I go with you, I'll end up swimming back just to get away from you?” I ask, humor lacing my voice.
“Well, I can't honestly answer that.” He laughs before continuing. “But I promise I'll be on my best behavior.” He says, drawing an X across his heart with his finger.
“You better be, otherwise I'll throw you overboard and you can be the one to swim back.” I throw him a wicked smile before turning away from him and making my way towards the boat.
––––––––
Z
ayne drives a good two miles off the shore line before killing the engine and allowing the boat to float along the waves. When he finally turns to face me, I do my best to pretend like the last few minutes of silence have not been absolute torture.
“So Captain. What's on your mind?” I ask, plastering on a carefree smile. He stands, crossing the short distance between us to join me on the long bench that lines the back of the boat.
I adjust my dress and turn inwards to face him, pulling my knees to my chest while he lounges comfortably with his arm slung over the back of the bench. His body language makes it seem like he doesn't have a care in the world but the hardness of his face is a complete contradiction. He seems completely uneasy, which in turn makes me feel just that.
“I don't know what the hell is going on here Grace but it has to stop.” The words roll of his lips, a brief apologetic smile turning up the corners of his mouth.
“I'm sorry, I'm confused. Is there something going on here? I wasn't aware.” I say, smiling playfully like this isn't the most awkward conversation I have ever had.
“Don't do that Grace.” He scolds, his lips turning down into the sexiest frown I have ever seen. Damn it. Even irritation looks good on him.
“Do what?” I question, playing completely oblivious to whatever he's talking about. Of course I'm not an idiot but I am hoping that if I play it off as nothing, then he will accept it as that.
“Don't pretend with me. I may not know you well but I can see through your bullshit. Your 'I'm great' routine doesn't work on me.” His words cut through me like daggers and the smile instantly falls from my face.
“You're right Zayne, you don't know me. So how about you stop pretending like you have even the slightest fucking clue.” My words are harsh but needed. I don't know if he really can read me that well but I refuse to admit one damn thing to this man.
“Fair enough.” He says, holding his hands out in front of him. “Look, this isn't why I asked you to come out here with me. Regardless of what you say, something has been going on between us these past few days, no matter how innocent. And then last night, well let's just say that it was probably the worst thing I could have done and for that I really am sorry.”
“You kissed me Zayne, it's not that big of a deal. We were drinking, I asked.... It happened.” I say on a shrug, trying my best not to look like he just delivered a severe blow to my ego. Which is exactly what he did.
“I'm not trying to hurt your feelings Grace but you're Alec's little sister. That's all I can let you be.” He says, his blue eyes burning holes through me.