Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) (12 page)

Blake came in the house and slammed the door drawing everyone’s attention to him and silencing their conversation
. Before they could respond the doorbell rang.  Blake opened it irate thinking Amber couldn’t take the hint.

“What!” 

Derrick stared at him like he was on drugs.

“Uh, is there a problem we need to handle?” 

Embarrassed Blake said, “I’m sorry man, thought you were someone else.” 

Derrick nodded and walked in but didn’t see Jasmine. 

“Where is she?” 

Carmen
decided under the circumstances she would ignore his rudeness.

“She’s in her room
waiting for you.” 

As
Derrick headed to Jasmine’s room Blake sat at the table. 

Before
anyone opened their mouths he said, “Don’t ask.”

∞∞∞

Derrick walked into Jasmine’s room without knocking.  His attitude with her was not the best and having Blake of all people yell at him at the door didn’t help.  He knew he obviously thought he was someone else but it still irked him.  He momentarily put all that to the side when he focused on Jasmine.  She was sitting on her bed, phone in hand crying. 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” 

He startled her. She jerked slightly then relaxed when she saw it was him. She wasn’t in the mood anymore.  She just wanted this night to be over. 

“Come in and please shut the door.” 

He obliged, came in and sat next to her.  He put his arm around her and kissed her temple.  She eased out of his embrace to face him. 

“Derrick I know we haven’t exactly been on the same page the last couple of weeks but I need to tell you something.” 

The look on her face told him he wasn’t going to like it.

“What is it?” 

“You know that Blake’s father has been in the hospital with kidney failure for the last few weeks.” 

He nodded curiously. 

“Well it turns out that I’m a match and tomorrow I am having surgery to give him one of my kidneys.”

He simply stared at her opting out of believing anything she said was true. He laughed but she didn’t
so he got mad. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Why would I joke about something like this?” 

“You would joke about something like this because I can’t imagine why in the
world you would give that man a kidney.” 

She was so tired of justifying herself.  And after the tongue lashing her mother gave her she didn’t have the energy or the inclination to deal with Derrick. 
She was deeply disturbed because at the moment she had just realized her mother had some severe racist tendencies.

“Look
, my reasons are my own. I am so sorry I’m just telling you but in all fairness everybody who needs to know found out today.” 

“Oh so you’re putting me on the same level as
everyone else in your life.  Jasmine that’s just not gon fly.” 

The eye roll she just couldn’t stop set him off.

“You know what Jasmine, I am so sick of you trying to be good enough for Blake’s family.  Don’t you get it?  You a nigga. You gon always be a nigga.  Them crackers don’t care nothing about you.  They don’t want you in their family because if they did he would have been with you a long time ago.  What, you think giving that ungrateful prick your kidney is going to make him welcome you with open arms?  Wake up Jasmine, you are living in a fantasy land and frankly I’m sick of watching you make a fool out of yourself to prove you belong.” 

She couldn’t have been more shocked if he had hauled off and slapped her.  The pain of what he assumed was going on was like a sledge hammer to the chest. 
Knowing he thought so little of her hurt and infuriated her to levels she didn’t even know existed. 

Her reason for doing this was not about acceptance, it was about love, the love she had for her best friend.  It was about helping someone in need.
  Her tears burned away due to her anger.

She
calmly said, “Get out Derrick.” 

“No
, I’m not going anywhere while my future wife slices up her body for some racist bastard to get approval.  What about our future?  What about our children? Did you think about how all of this would affect that?” 

She looked at him like he was on crack.  How in the hell could he see her as his future wife when he obviously thought she was some lost little black girl with
self-esteem issues that would do anything to be accepted by whitey. 

Through clinched teeth she said, “Look at it this way
. If I die on the table tomorrow none of this will be relevant or of any importance.” 

The quick look of shock and panic on his face told her the words had hit their mark. 

Before he could say anything she said, “Get the hell out of my house Derrick.” 

His
hesitation caused her to scream it. 

“Get out!” 

He walked out making sure to slam the door behind him.

Derrick felt as though he was walking the green mile as
five sets of eyes stared at him.  He didn’t say a word but he did give Blake a challenging look.  Damon saw Blake go rigid.  Damon touched his arm and shook his head.  When the door shut behind him Blake stood up to go to Jasmine but Carmen caught his arm.

“No,
looks like you’ve done enough.  Let us go.  Come on Luce.” 

Lucy followed her.

Lucy and Carmen found Jasmine on her bed
crying.  They both rushed to her side.  Carmen pulled her up and held her as she continued to cry.  Jasmine was so confused.  She knew without a shadow of a doubt that God had directed her down this path.  She couldn’t understand why it was filled with constant resistance from everyone around her. 

Between Amber, Derrick
and her mom she was at her wits end. While Carmen rubbed her back Lucy tried to pull her wild curls away from her face before they were matted from all the crying.  Her sobs began to slow and she lifted her head off Carmen’s shoulders and wiped at her tear-stained face. 

“God why is this so hard?”

Lucy was battling back tears. She couldn’t stand to see Jasmine so upset. 

Carmen said, “Tell us what happened sweetie.” 

She chuckled, “Where do I begin?” 

Lucy smirked, “How bout we start with Amber.” 

They laughed. 

Jasmine told them what happened at the hospital and how she responded to Amber’s threats.  She could tell by the stunned looks on their faces
that maybe she shouldn’t have taken it quite that far. 

Lucy
asked, “Does Blake know?” 

“I didn’t
tell him and I’m not going to unless I have to.  I think it would upset him more that she has so little faith in his love for her.” 

Lucy
said cautiously, “But Jasmine, I know you can understand that any woman would have a problem with her man constantly hugging and kissing on another woman.” 

“Blake
doesn’t kiss me.” 

Carmen said, “He kisses your nose.” 

Jasmine rolled her eyes, “That is something from a long time ago. It’s a habit that’s completely innocent.  It’s no different than him kissing either of you on the forehead.” 

“Okay
, well what about his constantly playing in your hair,” Carmen asked. 

Jasmine thought back to how that started. 

“Again, it’s something from our childhood. It’s harmless. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it.  Look, I don’t wanna get into it but playing in my hair calms him down.  It’s hard to explain.” 

Lucy and Carmen exchanged a look. 

“You are so in denial girl, because if I was Amber I would beat you and Blake’s behind for trying me,” Lucy said.

Carmen
added, “And what about tonight? What about what he said right in front of her?” 

“Okay
, yeah you got me on that one. When he said it she was the first person I looked at.  She wanted to rip my face off. The look on my face probably gave her reason to.  What can I do, tell him not to feel anything for me?” 

Lucy asked, “Do you really think he would choose you over her if she gave him an ultimatum.” 

Jasmine sighed, “I know he would because it’s what I would do.  She can’t reach every place that I do.  I’m sure if I was her I would likely feel the same way, but I can’t erase our past and she can’t go back and join it.  There is nothing physical between me and Blake.” 

Carmen said,
“See Jasmine, that’s what you don’t understand. It’s the non-physical stuff that makes you a threat to her relationship.” 

“But I can’t change that.  I mean Blake and I have stopped doing a lot of stuff we used to do together because we are in relationships but we can’t stop being friends.” 

“Well, he knows something is up between you two.  Right before you and Derrick, they had some kinda disagreement because he came back in the house beyond heated and told us he didn’t want to talk about it,” Carmen said. 

Jasmine rolled her eyes. 

“What happened between you and Derrick sweetie,” Lucy asked. 

Jasmine sighed, “Well about
six months ago I told him I wanted to stop having sex because I always felt really bad afterwards now that I’m trying to live my life right.” 

Their faces relayed that
they understood his side more than hers. 

“Look guys
, I know you don’t understand or necessarily agree with my choice to commit my life to Christ but it is what it is.  If he loves me then he’ll wait.  That sin was a hard one for me to let go of but when I finally found the strength my mind was made up.  But that doesn’t matter now because I don’t really see myself marrying a man who thinks so little of me.” 

Jasmine told them about the things Derrick said that led to her yelling for him to get out. 

Lucy said, “I’m so sorry Jasmine.  If it makes me feel bad I can only imagine how you must feel.  But you know this is a really stressful situation and maybe he just said things out of resentment because you didn’t tell him about the surgery.” 

Carmen thought that fate had a sense of humor. 
Evidently Blake and Jasmine needed help cluing in to their own lives.  Wasn’t it interesting that they were both having major problems in their respective relationships, and that those problems stemmed from their friendship. 

Carmen said, “Jasmine
, on the one hand I want to say emotions were high. Let cooler heads prevail and blah, blah, blah.” 

Jasmine nodded.

“And on the other hand
...” 

Lucy shot
her a look that pleaded for her to stop but Carmen ignored her. 

“On the other hand I can’t in good conscience give you advice on how to work out your relationship with Derrick when I feel very strongly that you’re in love with Blake.” 

Jasmine threw her hands up, “Oh my God, if one more person says that to me I’m going to punch something, or someone.” 

She gave Carmen an icy stare. 

Carmen shrugged, “I’m sorry, I just call it like I see it.  There is no sense in you two continuing to ruin other people’s lives in this charade y’all continue to play.” 

“Carmen for the last time, we are just friends.  In all the years I’ve kno
wn him, I have never kissed him. He has never kissed me.  We have never even discussed it, purposely or accidentally. Nor have we crossed a sexual line.  As far as I know I don’t even think he is attracted to me like that and I know I’m not attracted to him sexually.  I need y’all to read my lips.  There is nothing and will never be anything between me and Blake Michael Jessup.  That is the last time I’m going to say it.  The next time you will be slapped.”

Lucy gave Carmen an, “I told you so
” look. 

Carmen said, “Heifa please
.  You are lying if you say you are not attracted to Blake.  What is there not to be attracted to?” 

Lucy said, “True, he is a hottie.  I mean the man co
uld be a double for a Greek god with that thick wavy brown hair and those electric blue eyes.  Mmm, can you say yum?” 

Carmen laughed, “He is quite delicious after some sun.
  As a matter of fact all three of our guys are hot.”

Lucy said, “Yeah
, I mean Damon has that smooth brown skin and green eyes and of course that sexy swag. Ahmed gives off that exotic stranger vibe.  He’s the kinda man you want to meet on vacation.  He blows your mind with pleasure and then you come back home and never speak of it again.”

Jasmine just star
ed in astonishment.

“You lil nasty
sluts, and no I haven’t noticed because I am simply not attracted to white men.  Now of course Blake is handsome but I have never had the desire to jump his bones, unlike you two apparently, so sorry to disappoint you.  However, Ahmed and Damon are
very
sexy.” 

They both looked at her like they didn’t believe her. 

Carmen said, “You’re a racist Jasmine.  The two dark skinned men are sexy but you’re not attracted to the white guy even though he is just as sexy.” 

She shook her head and laughed.

With a smirk, Jasmine confessed.

“Okay
, okay the one thing I have noticed and it’s only because it’s not a usual trait for them is the man does have some nice full lips for a white boy.  If I were ever to date a white man, it would be because there were no black men left, he would need Blake’s mouth.  But I swear that’s it.” 

They all laughed. 

“I’m sorry to disappoint you guys, I love Blake more than I have ever loved another human being but in a strictly platonic way.”

Lucy said, “Well
, we should get out of here and let you get yourself together.  You have quite the big day tomorrow.” 

They each gave her a hug
.  After she thanked them for letting her lean on them, they left her.