Authors: Sandra Kitt
But Leah didn’t remark to her sister that this time, while not exactly an argument, had been different. She’d always given in to Allen in the past, letting him win the point. The discussions had never been so serious that the outcome had mattered to her one way or another. Her ego wasn’t on the line. But this evening’s encounter had been about her, planning and doing things she didn’t want to do. Maybe Gail had sensed that it was, too. Leah frowned at her sister as another thing came back to her. It had happened while their three voices had vied to be heard over one another.
“Why did Allen say it was all your fault?”
Gail looked at her for a long moment, the fine brows arched up. She looked like she was either trying to remember, or trying to think of how to answer. Finally she just shrugged.
“I have no idea.”
Leah had to be satisfied that her sister did not.
“God, one more hour before we get out of here,” Jill complained, looking at the mess on her worktable.
“Have a hot date tonight?” Leah asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
Leah heard the hesitation and looked at Jill. “Peter?”
“Yes.” Jill nodded.
Leah was surprised to see her blush.
“What’s he like?”
Jill got up abruptly from her chair again, and went to a supply shelf in search of something.
“Very nice,” she said with her back turned. “I mean, he’s okay. He likes to eat out …” She inadvertently knocked over a box of pencils. “We go to some nice places. Expensive, too.”
Two glass jars of rubber cement clanked.
“Jill, forget that stuff. I want to hear more about him. You were so unsure when he first asked you out.”
Jill turned around, but her chuckle was almost nervous. “Well, I got over it.”
“What do you do besides go out to eat? You can skip the personal stuff,” Leah teased, and Jill’s smile was shy.
“We go to basketball games sometimes. And he’s a hockey fan, but I hate it.”
Jill continued on, but Leah found she suddenly couldn’t stay focused. The mention of hockey immediately brought an image of Jason to her mind—the moment before he’d kissed her. Sometimes she could still feel the moment of contact, when the firmness of his lips had surprised her. Leah wished she’d stop thinking about it. She shouldn’t have allowed it.
“Is Peter from New York?” Leah forced herself to ask Jill.
Jill laughed. “No one’s from New York. Unless they’re from Brooklyn. I think he’s from Ohio. He’s been an editor here for four years. Or did he say five?”
Leah frowned. “You don’t seem to know an awful lot about him.”
“I know enough. And it’s early yet.”
Leah sighed. “So, what do you think?”
She had only meant to tease, but she looked up from her work when Jill didn’t answer, to find her apparently giving the question serious thought.
“I don’t know. How do you know when it’s the real thing, Leah?” she asked quietly. “Does it count if when he kisses you, you wonder what happened to your ability to think?”
Sounded good to Leah, although she knew the question was rhetorical.
“Does it count if at first you didn’t think much of him, but suddenly you can’t stop thinking about him?” Jill let out a long sigh and made her way back to her desk to sit facing Leah. “Anyway, it’s still new. Kind of sudden. I don’t know if he’s the one for me or if I’m the one for him.”
Leah continued to watch Jill. It seemed so easy for her. She’d try this one, but if it didn’t work out, well, maybe next time. What if she was in love with him? How could she ever consider anyone else?
“I’m sure it’ll work out,” Leah offered.
“Maybe. In the meantime he’s fun to be with. How about you? What’s new with you and Allen?”
Leah blinked. The question seemed to come right out of left field, and she had no real answer. She tried to show no particular expression, and made a vague gesture with her hand. “Nothing much. I haven’t seen him recently.”
“Really? Nothing serious, I hope.”
“Well, it’s just that … I don’t know …” Leah gave up.
“Maybe it’s time for a change,” Jill suggested.
“What do you mean, a change?”
“As far as I know, you haven’t dated anyone else but Allen. Yet your relationship with him seems so … so predictable, you know? Why not meet some new people? Make him nervous.”
Leah was not the least worried about making Allen nervous. She was making herself very nervous, however, because she was no longer sure what she wanted from Allen. Or even if she wanted him. She’d also tried very hard to convince herself that she wasn’t dating Jason. They were just spending time together once in a while. Like friends.
“Are you doing anything special for Christmas?” Jill asked.
“Not that I know of.” Leah half smiled. “Gail and I probably won’t be flying to Chicago to be with my father. Allen will spend the holidays with his family in Philadelphia.”
She wondered again about Jason. Would he have to spend it alone? She was thinking of family, of course, but that didn’t mean he would be alone. Leah quickly realized where her thoughts were taking her and shifted in her seat to break the spell. She glanced at Jill.
“We certainly don’t sound very much in the spirit, do we?”
“Just another Christmas,” Jill murmured, shaking her head.
“Like most of the others,” Leah concurred.
“My New Year’s resolutions are to find a bigger apartment, lose weight, and take a cruise.”
“You mean, you’re not going to hope that Peter is the man of your dreams?”
“Nope.” Jill grinned brightly. “I’m only going to hope that he won’t become my worst nightmare. What about you? What do you want for the New Year?”
The first thing that came to Leah’s mind was that the new year wouldn’t resemble the last one.
“To be surprised,” she whispered cryptically.
Gail was writing out her Christmas cards. It was the least she could do to contribute to the spirit of the season.
She sipped from a glass of wine and watched a rerun of
The Bishop’s Wife
as she wrote messages and addressed envelopes. When the phone rang she took her time gracefully unfolding herself from the sofa. She whispered hello absently, absorbed in the Hollywood magic of the movie. Suddenly a voice launched into pleas and apologies.
It was Allen.
“Leah? Look, baby, I know you’re still upset, but we’ve got to talk about this. We have to try to work things out and go on with our lives, our future. Why can’t I come over so we can deal with it?”
Gail realized the mistake at once and started to identify herself. And then she changed her mind. She had not expected this opportunity, and her thoughts raced as she quickly tried to formulate a plan.
“What is there to talk about, Allen?” Gail asked in a soft imitation of Leah’s voice. It was close enough.
“About us!”
“Ummmm,” Gail murmured noncommittally.
“I said I was sorry about Thanksgiving. What more do you want?” Allen asked peevishly.
Gail listened carefully.
“Leah, are you listening to me?” he asked impatiently.
“Yes … yes.”
“Well? When do I get to see you? We can’t let this thing just go on and on between us.”
“All right,” Gail said with real hesitation in her voice. What had happened at Thanksgiving?
“When? I’m leaving to spend Christmas with my folks next week. I want to see you before then. Can I come Monday?”
“No, not Monday,” Gail hastened. “Make it Wednesday.”
“Leah, are you all right?
It was time to get off the phone. “I’m fine. I was, er, just in the middle of something, that’s all. I really have to get off the phone.”
“Okay. Then I’ll see you Wednesday, right?”
“Yes, fine. Bye, Allen.”
On December 21 Jason came to dinner.
Gail met him at the door. She raised her brows haughtily as she looked him over carefully. She had to admit there was no resemblance between the man in the doorway and the one who’d camped out on her doorstep several months earlier. Gail took her own sweet time before opening the door and stepping aside to let Jason in.
“You certainly look a lot better than the last time I saw you,” she said tartly.
Jason grinned at the caustic greeting. “Hello,” he said. It was going to be one hell of an evening.
Right off Jason noticed how beautiful Gail Downey was and that she was well aware of it. The second thing he noticed as he followed her into the house was that Gail Downey didn’t much like him and was probably never going to.
When Leah came from the kitchen to greet him, Jason could see from the furtive look in her eyes that she’d developed doubts about the wisdom of going through with the evening. Was she sorry she’d invited him? He had a sense now, as Leah smiled a nervous hello, that had he called to confirm the dinner as he’d planned to several days earlier, Leah would have canceled. He was glad he hadn’t called.
Jason noticed that Leah was an inch or so shorter than her willowy sister, and not as curvaceous. They were both pretty women very similar in facial features except, again, Gail had a sensuality calculated to start fires.
“I see you made it,” Leah commented foolishly.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Jason challenged softly.
Leah only looked at him, surprised how close he’d come to the mark.
Gail seated herself on the sofa. “Fooled you, didn’t he?” she murmured.
“Would you like a drink?” Leah asked, indicating a chair for Jason. “Wine?”
“Beer,” he answered, taking a seat opposite Gail. He wanted to keep her in full view. Leah disappeared into the kitchen, and Jason and Gail silently appraised each other. Neither wanted to be the first to blink.
Jason suspected that her silence was meant to make him feel ill at ease. She obviously didn’t particularly like having him in her home. Jason only waited patiently for conversation to begin. But Gail was not like Leah. She wasn’t going to be social. And she wasn’t going to be polite.
Jason looked toward the kitchen as Leah came back with a tray of drinks. She was nervous. He could tell she was going to use her duties as hostess to keep a distance between them. Jason understood that Leah was retreating.
He
almost had. Especially after his confession the last time. But now that he was here, seeing her reminded him of that kiss. He could still recall the way Leah had hesitated, making him feel as though he had to teach her not to be afraid. And she hadn’t withdrawn. He could feel the moment she’d begun to respond as well.
Leah smiled tentatively at him as she gave him the bottle of Molson. He accepted it, and with his other hand unexpectedly grabbed hers, pulling her to the vacant seat next to him.
Gail crossed her legs comfortably. “What do you do?”
Jason exchanged looks with Leah. He thought she would have told her sister everything about him. He was pleased that Leah might have kept some things private. He was also perversely annoyed that some obvious things about him Leah did not want her sister to know.
“I’m a cop.”
“What?” Gail thundered.
She jumped to her feet, eyes glaring. Then she abruptly reached across the coffee table and pulled the bottle of beer from Jason’s hands, stunning both him and her sister.
Leah came to her feet. “Gail, what are you doing?”
Gail fumed at her. “Are you out of your mind? This man kills people.”
Leah took the beer back by force and returned it to Jason. The look she gave him expressed determination.
“I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t you dare apologize for me,” Gail snorted angrily.
“Did I say something wrong?” Jason inquired easily, taking a sip from his beer. He got no answer.
He watched as Gail reluctantly reseated herself, her hands balled into fists in her lap. Jason suspected that she honestly didn’t know if she wanted to slap him or her sister.
“I’ll be damned,” Gail muttered darkly. “Are you one of those guys with a Great White Hope complex? Or do you think you’re everybody’s Big Brother? Is being a cop just an excuse to carry a gun and use it on black folks?”
Jason settled himself back into the chair cushions. He could sense the helplessness and stiffness in Leah, seated next to him. He was tempted to touch her, to let her know he could take care of himself. But he was certain the move would just give Gail another reason to attack.
“Please, feel free to ask me anything,” he said comfortably. “I’m not out to save the world if that’s what you mean. I’m only helping out in my little corner of it. Yours, too.”
“Screw that,” Gail countered with spirit. “Your corner is white. And please don’t hand me some bullshit about it’s justice you stand for.”
Jason shrugged. “All right. I won’t. But if someone didn’t defend your rights, too, you wouldn’t be here.” He gestured around him to Gail and Leah’s middle-class environment.
“I got here,” Gail argued, “despite the white man’s best and worst efforts. You haven’t done me any favors.”
Leah suddenly stood up. “Now that we’re all acquainted, let’s have dinner,” she said sarcastically. She gave her sister a pointedly annoyed look as she led the way into the dining room.
Once Gail had seated herself, she watched Jason with continued suspicion. “So you sobered up and came looking for my sister.”
Jason swallowed his first bite and gave Leah a look he hoped she would understand was personal. “I just wanted to thank her.”
“That was months ago. How long does it take to say thank you? And how the hell did you manage to get from that to dinner in my house?” Gail inquired, her anger building again.
Leah put her fork and knife down sharply, fed up with Gail’s barbs. “For God’s sake, Gail. Can’t you just shut up, eat dinner, and be gracious?”
“Someone has to look out for fools and little children. So far you’re behaving like both, sweetheart.”
“And who looks out for you?” Jason asked quietly.
Gail had not expected any direct comment from Jason, and his question brought her up short.
“Excuse me?” Gail narrowed her eyes dangerously at him.
Jason looked directly at her. “I mean, has anyone ever told you to mind your own business?”
“Jason!” Leah rounded on him at once. Gail’s mouth dropped open in stunned silence.