Colorado Hitch (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Marshal didn’t know what to do. It had been too long since the guys had left on their mission, and he felt so off, it was nearly painful. On day eight after the mission should have concluded, with no word from the guys, Grant called a meeting. Marshal couldn’t sit down. He feared what Grant knew and wasn’t telling him.

Grant moved to stand in front of the fireplace, his brows bunched, his mouth turned down in a frown. “We’re all on edge. I haven’t heard anything from the team, and we’ve been watching the news, listening to chatter where we can find it, and we’ve got nothing. I don’t know if they completed their task or not. Once we hear back, I’ll let you all know. For now, as hard as it may be, we need to keep up with the ranch work and continue with our training.”

Davis leaned forward in his seat and shook his head. “I can’t give up hope.”

Grant nodded. “We don’t want you to. Zander, Tucker, and Ryan knew the mission was dangerous.”

“I can’t even think that he’s gone. I just can’t,” Billy said.

Marshal said nothing because he’d felt desperate for days. There was no doubt in his mind that something had gone wrong. Pain had twisted through his heart days ago and now it had a reason to be there. His head spun with his dark admission. The pounding of his heart almost overwhelmed him and his knees buckled.

Roger was in a chair near him and jumped up, catching him around the waist. “Hang on there, Marshal.”

He was lowered to the couch where he collapsed. He’d told no one of his suspicions, and now he guessed it wasn’t necessary. All of them knew something was terribly wrong if Grant was giving them this speech.

Grant came over and knelt beside him. “Hey, man, don’t give up yet.”

He cleared his throat and started to speak. “I feel it, the pain—” Marshal closed his eyes and saw an image of Zander smiling at him. “Something's happened, and I’ve felt it for days. There’s this pain in my chest that won’t go away. I don’t know that we’ll ever hear what happened to them.”

The look on Billy’s face broke his heart even more, and Davis was white as a ghost. Though they were all ex-military, knew the risks associated with going out on missions, and were serious about eradicating the world of evil no matter the cost, maybe, just maybe the price they’d paid this time had been too much.

*~*~*

Grant rested his head on his forearm, trying like crazy to figure out what they could do. He didn’t think Wild Bluff could survive losing three men, not right now. Duff was no longer at the helm, and Marshal was grief-stricken and useless. The guys were all in different areas on the property, some cleaning the barns, others in the control room watching the news wire. Roger was sitting with Marshal to keep him company.

“You know this is one of the worst things about doing stuff like this.” Duff’s voice was crackly and thick, like he’d been crying or something like that.

Grant didn’t look up as he nodded. This was terrible and no amount of talking, or leading, or wishing, or praying would make it good. Sending those guys out on this mission had been wrong.

“You’re starting to second guess yourself, aren’t you?” Duff asked.

“Fuck.” Grant breathed out then tried sucking in air, his body aching from the effort.

“Don’t.” Mugs clanked and Grant heard the coffee pot being placed on the table. “Leading men into battle means you are going to experience loss. Those men were important, no doubt about it, but you know that every time you ask one of them to head out on a mission their lives could either be changed forever or lost. There are no guarantees.”

Grant looked up, pain slicing through his head as he opened his eyes to the bright lights of the kitchen. “I feel like I made a mistake.”

“I know. But think of all of the good we’ve done in the past. How many people have we saved? It’s hard to think this job is worth it when someone gets hurt, but we’ve changed lives for the better, and yes, sometimes that takes the ultimate sacrifice.”

“I hate this.” Grant poured himself some coffee then took a sip and set it down. Frowning at the cup, he shook his head and sighed. “How can I help them? If all three are gone, how can I possibly help our guys?”

“Son, I’m not sure you can. Roger lost Hayden, maybe he can help.”

“Fuck.” Grant took another sip of his coffee. He had no clue how to deal with this situation. “I’m going to have to lean on Roger in this. I’m out of my depths.”

Duff stood and picked up his mug, taking it to the sink. “This is a hard life. When I was in the military, I had to make difficult decisions. And here, on Wild Bluff, you will be required to give more than you think is possible. Stay strong. The war against evil won’t be won because we wish it so. Good people will have to sacrifice.”

Grant slumped in his chair, staying planted until Roger came looking for him. His husband sighed and tugged him up, pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m so very sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Grant buried his head against Roger’s neck, tears filling his eyes as reality started to settle in. “How do we move on?”

“Losing Hayden was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. We take it one day at a time. I can’t—”

The phone rang, and Grant sucked in a breath. Roger met his gaze as Grant reached for the device, answering without looking at the name on the screen.

“Talk,” Grant said.

“It’s Tucker. I-I’m checking in.”

Grant swallowed over his fears as relief filled him. Maybe they were all okay and no one had died. “Give me a status update.”

“Where’s Marshal?” Tucker’s voice was stiff and hollow sounding.

Ice spread through Grant’s veins, and he dropped to the chair, his hands shaking as he fought to hold onto the phone. “Tell me.”

“We found our target and were successful in neutralizing him, however, there were too many people in the house. Zander was attacked and fought hard. Ryan was outside the house, standing watch. Then I had to fight off another guy. We ended up outside where Ryan helped me finish him off. Before we could get back in and help Zander, the house exploded.”

Grant felt the first of the tears trickle down his cheek as he sucked in a slow breath. “What happened?”

“We saw a truck take off. By the time we secured another vehicle, the truck was gone. We stuck around for two days, waiting for any mention of Zander. There was nothing. We looked for the guy and the truck, spending six days going from town to town asking questions. I can only assume that Zander died in the fire. They found the remains of three bodies, and we fear that one of them was Zander’s.”

Grant sucked in a breath as his whole body started to shake. His friend was gone. Zander’s life was over. How could he tell Marshal? He lifted his gaze, a haze of pain clouding his vision. Then he saw Roger staring at him with grief darkening his eyes. Nothing would ever be the same. Craig had almost destroyed them, but losing Zander was too much.

“Wh-where are you?” Grant asked.

“We just landed in Colorado Springs. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” Tucker sighed and cleared his throat. “Grant, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to call and tell you about Zander. If I could, I would have changed the mission.”

“Come home. We need you here. We all know the cost of what we do.” Grant hung up, his gaze never leaving Roger’s.

“Who?” Roger asked.

The question hurt too much to answer. Grant heard someone behind him and he glanced over his shoulder, seeing Duff. He swallowed over his anguish and opened his mouth to speak, but word must have traveled quickly because now Davis and Billy were rushing into the kitchen, worry evident on their faces. He needed to just call a meeting and get it over with.

“Roger, Duff, get everyone into the den.” Grant stepped into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He had to be strong for his men. Memories of Zander flooded his thoughts. Zander had been the best of them. He would miss the guy, but he didn’t know how Marshal would survive.

After a few deep breaths where he tried to center himself, he left the bathroom and made his way into the den. Everyone was seated, but he didn’t make eye contact with anyone until he was at the front of the room. He looked up and found Marshal’s gaze, holding it as he spoke, hoping that he was showing some honor by talking directly to Marshal.

“You all know I received a call by now. Tucker placed the call.” He heard Billy gasp and out of the corner of his eyes he saw Billy bend forward, placing his elbows on his knees. The color drained from Marshal’s face, and Grant could see that he knew. Tears formed in Marshal’s eyes, and Grant moved to stand in front of him before dropping to his knees. He didn’t break eye contact as he continued speaking. “Zander eliminated Yildiz, however, they were attacked. Tucker fought off his attacker by pushing him outside and getting Ryan’s help. Before they could reenter the house, it exploded.”

Marshal froze, his face going beat red before all of the color drained away. His eyes were unfocused and air left his lungs, making him look like he had deflated.

“Ryan and Tucker will be home in about ten minutes. Please give Marshal some privacy as he hears the story firsthand from them. We owe him this much. We’ll have a ceremony celebrating Zander’s life day after tomorrow at sunset. Is that okay, Marshal?”

The nod was imperceptible, but he took it as agreement. Grant would ask Roger, Mike, and Duff to share sitting with Marshal. They would take turns, watching him around the clock until he had a better grasp of how Marshal would take Zander’s death. He heard the ping on his phone, indicating Tucker and Ryan were back.

Everyone stood, including Marshal. Grant put his arm around Marshal, holding him up as they made their way to the porch. No one cheered or ran out laughing like they normally would when the guys returned home.

Tucker stepped out of the truck and headed straight to Marshal, pulling him into a hug. Ryan was right there, hugging Marshal too. Mike helped Roger grab Tucker's and Ryan’s bags before parking the truck near the barn. They made their way into the house, and Tucker didn’t leave Marshal’s side as they settled in the den. Billy cried openly, and Grant hugged him before Mike put his arm around Billy and led everyone other than Grant, Tucker, and Ryan out of the room, so Marshal could hear what had happened and ask any questions he had.

The words came slowly from Tucker and Ryan as they told Marshal everything from the time they'd landed in Greece to when the explosion had happened. Marshal cleared his throat and looked Tucker in the face.

“Is-is there any chance that he was in that truck?”

Tucker bit his lower lip, his gaze steady on Marshal. “When the truck drove away, I only saw one head above the seatback. I don’t think he was in there, but we never found the vehicle or the guy driving it. We looked for days, searching for any sighting of it, but no one saw it and we didn’t find any vehicle that could have been that truck.”

Ryan cleared his throat. “Marshal, if I could go back and change anything about the mission, I would.”

“Did he say anything over the headset?” Marshal asked.

“No,” Ryan said. “I think it must have been pulled off while he was fighting.”

Marshal sat silently for a long moment before sticking out his hand, shaking both Tucker and Ryan’s hands. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Zander was the best man I’ve ever served with,” Tucker said. “I’m sorry the mission ended this way.”

Marshal looked like he was about to break. He stood, and Grant placed his arm on Marshal’s, stopping his movement.

“We’re not going to let you be alone today or tomorrow. I’ll go with you now. Then later, Roger will sit with you.”

“I’m not a baby,” Marshal growled.

“No, you’re not, but I want one of us there to talk to you if you need an ear. Don’t fight it. You know I won’t change my mind.”

Marshal’s shoulders sagged and he nodded. “Fine, you first, then Roger.”

Grant followed Marshal to his bedroom and settled in a chair by the bed as Marshal showered. Once he’d finished, Marshal turned off the lights and dropped into bed. His breathing never changed, so Grant assumed Marshal wasn’t asleep, he guessed the man was just staring at the ceiling.

A few hours later, Roger came to relieve him, and he moved to the den where he sat with the other men, who looked just as shell-shocked as he felt. Tucker and Billy had curled up on the couch together, and Ryan and Davis held hands the entire time. It made him sad that Marshal would never kiss Zander again, never hold his hand, or touch his face. They wouldn’t make love, or share a night of passion. They wouldn’t grow old together. It was over for them, and he didn’t know how Marshal would get through it.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Since he’d learned of Zander’s death, Marshal felt hollow. There was always someone with him, even when he went to the bathroom. He guessed it was for his own good. More than once, he’d contemplated ending it all. It would be so easy. They had plenty of guns, loads of ammunition. He could head up the mountain to where Craig had almost killed him, or he could go to the field where he and Zander had first kissed. Thoughts of that first kiss made him cry. His lover’s lips had been so soft, his hands so firm, and his heart always warm.

The first time he'd fallen asleep after finding out Zander was dead, he’d forgotten about the tragedy. When he’d woken up wanting to tell Zander about something that had happened on the ranch, he’d been devastated once again when the memories came crashing in, stealing his breath and dropping him to his knees. Roger had been with him. At first, he hadn’t wanted to hear what Roger had to say about Hayden, but then in the middle of the night, when it was quiet outside and dark all around them, Roger told him how he’d survived those first few days after he’d lost Hayden.

At the memorial service, Marshal cried like a baby, screaming at the sky as the moon rose. No one tried to stop him, and they didn’t interrupt him when he took an ax to a small tree, chopping it to pieces in his rage and anger. Grant held him after his tirade, saying soothing words that helped somehow.

Three days had passed since he’d learned about Zander’s death, but he’d known earlier, long before Tucker and Ryan had come home.

He was sitting on the bench, watching Tucker run the O course, attacking each obstacle as he fought to improve his time. Zander had loved the O. For some strange reason, he felt closer to Zander as he watched the men run the course.

The sky cleared and the sun warmed his skin, and for a brief second, he felt that maybe there was hope in the world again. Every second he’d spent with Zander had been magical. He knew he would never find anything like that again, and maybe, just maybe, he would walk off into the countryside, finding his end easily. For now, he would stay at Wild Bluff, searching for peace in a place Zander had loved as much as life.

…coming soon, Colorado Connection

About The Author

Writing is Sara York's life. The stories fight to get out, often leaving her working on four or five books at once. She can't help but write. Along with her writing addiction she has a coffee addiction. Some nights, the only reason she stops writing and goes to sleep is for the fresh brewed coffee in the morning. Sara enjoys writing twisted tales of passion, anger, and love with a good healthy dose of lust thrown in for fun.

Visit Sara York at her
Website
.