Colorblind (Moonlight) (31 page)

The trip took weeks, mainly because they stopped each night and sometimes during the days to rest, eat, change horses, and take care of basic necessities. Most of the families they stayed with were Armand’s comrades, werewolves and humans heavily involved in the transporting of slaves. As such, Leon did not have to worry about someone telling him Penny could not stay in the house. He’d lost “polite” the moment he’d found out she’d been kidnapped. Control had all but disappeared when he’d learned she was pregnant.

As he worried over Penny’s health, Armand did the same for Julia. The two women had become fast friends, and could usually be found whispering—plotting was perhaps the better word—together. Leon admitted he was a bit overbearing, but blamed it on Penny’s state. Armand acknowledged no wrong. Étienne laughed at them, carefree and unaffected as he flirted with the unattached women and corrupted the boy.

Finally, after three and a half weeks, they arrived in Canada West, an area that welcomed everyone, regardless of race. Almost a third of its population consisted of escaped slaves. They’d made lives for themselves here, building homes and businesses, creating families, new generations unattached to the stigma they’d escaped.

It was Leon’s first time seeing the place, and as he watched a white Canadian woman laugh at something a colored child said, he felt the surge of a tiny bit of faith in humanity.

***

“What are you doing?”

Penny shook her head at Leon, who was naked and moving about in the dark, checking the windows and doors. They were in a cottage, their own cottage. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen and dining area, and a door leading to an outhouse. It was the first home she could officially call hers and Penny loved it.

“Go back to sleep,
ma louve
. You need your rest.”

She almost groaned at the response. While Penny loved Leon Arnaud with her entire being, he was really beginning to frustrate her with his overprotectiveness.

“Leon, stop treating me like I’m fragile.” Penny exhaled and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

“
Ma louve
—”

“Don’t!” she interrupted with a growl. “I’m just over two months pregnant and you’re acting as if I’m going to trip over my feet, somehow land awkwardly on my belly, kill the baby, and then die.”

There was no response and Penny sat up, thinking he’d left. He was by the window, staring at her with a stricken expression on his face. Was he actually contemplating the scenario?

She brushed his mind.

“Leon!” she scolded before erupting into laughter. It was funny just how ridiculous he was being. Still, it showed how much he cared about her and their child.

“What is it? Are you in pain?” Leon was suddenly beside her, removing the hand she’d placed over her face to contain her laughter as paranoid green eyes frantically searched hers. She chuckled again and sat up, locking her hands behind his neck. “Are you going to act this way for the remainder of my pregnancy?”

He looked seemed confused at first, before a sheepish look came over his face. He nodded once. Leaning forward, she kissed his lips lightly. “I guess I can learn to tolerate you.”

Her mate chuckled before wrapping his arms around her and moving onto the bed. He pulled the thick furs over them and curled around her body, warming her.

“Do you have a preference?”

She was about to clarify when Leon answered, “No. I don’t care what the gender is. I will love him or her as much as I love you.”

Penny nodded in contentment. Before she drifted off, her mind went to Hyacinth. She missed the older woman and hoped to see her again, even if it wasn’t in this lifetime.

Old Ma had been both right and wrong. A white American man from the South would not marry a colored woman, especially one he’d owned. It was ingrained that they were too different, one meant to be master and the other slave. Leon Arnaud, however, her werewolf mate, had wanted to make it official immediately. They’d been married two days ago by a priest who said nothing but the vows they were to repeat, blessed them, and congratulated them on their new commitment. There was a slip of paper in the chest under the bed that legally bound them together: Leon and Penny Arnaud.

Her arms tightened around him. She’d pledged herself to him, and he to her. They had long lives to look forward to, and she was excited.

***

Six months later

Penny chuckled along with Julia as Jolie stomped off behind a frustrated Étienne. They were arguing again, something they’d done from the moment Étienne had arrived with her.

Months ago, Étienne and Armand had left Canada for Louisiana. They’d returned with the more newly freed slaves, one of which was Jolie. Julia had been ecstatic and for that reason, Penny was happy. She’d grown closer to Julia over the past months and the woman was so kind and lovely that Penny decided if Julia loved Jolie so much, there had to be some redeeming qualities about the younger woman. And there were. Jolie might have been mean, nasty and treacherous to everyone else, but to Julia, she was nothing but fiercely loyal.

In Jolie’s eyes, Julia was the most beautiful, kind, honest, loving person all wrapped into one. If one of the free men or women so much as hinted of speaking badly about Julia, Jolie instantly ripped into them. Just two weeks ago, one of Ray’s sisters had said Julia was acting white because of her looks. Penny had been struggling to her feet to correct her when Jolie said, “My sister don’t got no reason to want to be no white lady. Just cause she born looking one way, don’t mean you get to say whatever you want ’bout her cause you nothin’ but jealous. Jealous that she prettier, smarter, nicer, and got more people love her than you!”

There had been a lot of glaring and mumbling, but after the set-down, Penny had heard nothing more from the woman concerning Julia.

“Are you comfortable?” the woman occupying her thoughts asked slowly, using the proper grammar both Armand and Penny were continuously teaching her. Julia was a fast and eager learner, and quickly caught on to things.

Lowering her voice, Penny mumbled, “I’m never comfortable, but don’t tell Leon that.”

Of late, Penny had been so hot Leon had created a bench in the backyard for her to sit. It was summer in Canada, and although the heat was nowhere near as stifling as Louisiana, Penny still felt like she was slowly boiling.

“You know I will-would—” Julia broke off in askance and Penny nodded, rubbing her belly.

“You can use either. Will is a bit more definite, though.”

“I will not,” Julia concluded, lowering her voice as well. “I think if I breathe a word of it, he’ll never let you leave the house.”

Penny chuckled and rubbed her protruding belly. It was true. She’d been sitting out here with Julia for over an hour already because Leon wasn’t home. He’d gone to Ray’s store for more milk and cheese. As a result of her pregnancy, Penny went through milk like water. Cheese was one of her cravings. Interestingly enough, she liked it a bit moldy.

“What about Armand? Did you speak with him about his…protectiveness?”

Julia was still unaware of Armand’s true nature, though every day it seemed more and more of a challenge for Penny to keep from telling her friend. Armand didn’t think Julia was mentally ready as yet. Penny thought opposite, but Leon had already warned her to keep out of it. She did so, but not without letting Armand know her opinions.

A smile lit her face as Julia replied, “That’s just how he is, like his brother. He don’t mean to make me mad. He just don’t want me hurt.”

“Doesn’t,” Penny automatically corrected. “He doesn’t want you hurt. Don’t is ‘do not’.”

Julia chuckled and nodded. “Right.” The other woman sobered as Penny winced, stroking the spot where a swift kick had landed. “Are you all right?”

Penny nodded. The baby had been very active lately. He refused to lie still, even while she was resting. Sometimes she would awaken in the night to find Leon braced on an elbow, stroking her belly not for comfort, but to get the little one to relax. Most times, her moans of discomfort had awoken him.

“Yes. Fine. It was just one kick this time.”

As Julia stared at her in confusion, Penny chuckled. “One kick is good. Last night, he kicked me six times in a row.”

Julia’s eyes bulged before she asked softly, “How is it? Being pregnant?”

“Horrible,” Penny replied automatically, hoping to get a laugh out of the woman. When Julia’s eyes only widened and she looked uncomfortable, Penny said in a more serious tone, “It’s uncomfortable at times, but I don’t mind. In a few weeks, it will all be worth it.”

Smiling, Julia nodded. When Julia continued to stare at her belly with an expression that seemed haunted, Penny finally asked, “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and looked away. For a moment, Penny was certain Julia would avoid the question by changing the topic. She didn’t. Instead, she clasped her hands together and confided, “Armand wants children. I see it in how he talks of your pregnancy.”

Penny gave her enough seconds to follow the statements up before she chuckled and shook her head. “This is a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not bad. It’s just that…” Gray eyes held Penny’s as she rushed out, “I can’t have them.”

***

Penny’s lips moved but no sound emerged. Julia watched her silently, waiting for the criticism yet praying none would be coming. Penny was unlike any other female she’d met. Jolie never ridiculed Julia because they were sisters and they looked out for one another. Every other female she’d encountered had ridiculed her for one thing or another.
The master’s brat
.
The white man’s whore
.
White-looking nigger
. Every insult had somehow stemmed from her paternity.

“What do you mean?” Penny finally asked, and Julia released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

What she meant was exactly what she’d said. She couldn’t have children. She’d started her bleeding from the age of fifteen, and from then,
they’d
been using her. Thorn had expected her to breed sooner. In fact, he’d purposely taken her with the sole intentions of breeding her later on.

“You don’t have to tell me—”

“I never conceived,” she interrupted, fearful that once she stopped speaking she would not have the courage to do it once more. “They did what they did to me but I never—because I can’t.”

Penny shuffled closer to her on the bench, and wrapped an arm about her.

“You don’t know that,” she said softly, compassion evident in her voice. “They weren’t right for you. Armand is.”

“Nothing happens with him, either.” The confession was hard but these thoughts had been on her mind as the months passed with her in Armand’s bed and nothing came of it. She was not actively trying to have a baby. She just feared she would never be able to, feared disappointing the only man she’d ever loved, the only man who truly loved her.

“Julia,” Penny began softly. “Maybe your body is not ready yet. Do you know Dara?” She nodded. Dara, like her, was a former slave who lived a few cottages away from them. She’d shown Julia how to make delicious pastries. “She told me it took her years to get pregnant. Maybe you’re like her.”

A tiny bit of hope surged in her chest. “And what if I’m not? What if I just can’t?”

“Have you spoken to Armand about this?”

“No!” She jerked away from Penny and glared. “And you can’t tell him, either.”

Penny nodded immediately, and Julia felt contrite. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just …sometimes I think he knows, like he can read my mind or something.” She laughed at the silliness of her statement.

There had been days and nights when she’d been next to Armand, thinking in detail of her past, only to find him looking at her as if he was ready to kill something. When she’d ask him what was wrong, he’d shake his head, kiss her, and leave on one of his frequent walks. At first, she’d thought she’d done something, but he was thorough in reassuring her it was nothing on her part.

“Read your mind?” Penny queried, eyes widening as she blinked furiously.

“I know. It’s silly. Forget it.” Sighing, Julia continued, “Please don’t tell anyone what I told you. I want to tell Armand myself, when I’m sure.”

“I think you should talk to him about it now. He’s very understanding.”

“I know, but he might not be so understanding about this.” She shook her head, no longer wishing to discuss it.

“Julia, listen to me.” Penny’s voice was soft but commanding. She turned to face her friend. As she did, Penny took Julia’s hands in her own. “Armand will never leave you. He needs you too much. Even if you can’t have children, he would still love you.”

She felt tears burn her eyes. “I hope you’re right.”

“I’m right. I promise.”

Julia hugged her as best she could with the protruding belly between them. As she pulled away, wiping at her eyes, she joked, “I think I inherited all of your pregnancy emotions.”

Penny wiped at her eyes as well. “It’s possible since you never leave my side.”

Chuckling, Julia stood and looked to the sky. Dark clouds had settled overhead. She looked down to Penny, who was looking at the sky as well. “I think we should go inside.”

“No. I’d like to sit here and allow the rain to soak through my hair and clothes just to cool down.”

Shaking her head with a laugh, Julia replied, “I can’t let you do that. Leon won’t like me anymore.”

Penny looked like she was contemplating it before she replied, “You’re right. He’s lucky I love him.”

Satisfied that Penny would not be sitting through a rainstorm, Julia walked over to the satchel containing snacks she’d left on a tree stump. She was turning back to Penny when thunder cracked so loudly, frightening her so badly, she dropped the food.

***

Lowering her arm, Penny jerked herself down as far as she could go to better slip her swollen feet into the sandals. They were the only things she could wear since her feet, along with every other part of her body, had tripled in size. She dismissed the swish that whizzed past her as a sudden wind and the crack as thunder until Julia began to scream.