Don’t take her from me, God. I love her. We all do.
Chapter Four
Predictably, when Holly woke the next morning, nausea rose hard and fast in her stomach. She lay there breathing through her nose and shaking her head at the idea that she’d have morning sickness now, after she’d told her husbands, when before she’d barely had more than passing bouts of an uneasy stomach.
Power of suggestion was an amazing thing.
She pulled the covers up and realized she was in Ethan’s bed. She smiled, realizing he must have carried her from the boys’ room to his during the night.
Part of her wanted to stay in bed and avoid the inevitable confrontation with the guys. The other part of her knew she was being stupid and that they needed to air this out so it didn’t drag on forever.
None of them was the type to allow a disagreement to languish more than a day. The result was they argued fiercely, bellowed and raised their voices, but it was also over quickly and forgotten in the next moment. She couldn’t ever remember a time when anger had been harbored between them for any extended period of time.
The closest she could recall was the time when she was pregnant with Seth and wanted to clobber them all with a kitchen pot for their decision not to make love to her. For her sake.
She rolled her eyes at the absurdity of that idea. Men were so thick sometimes.
And it was then that she realized they were just as thick this time too. It wasn’t that they had some evil ulterior motive for not wanting her to have another child. She knew that. It was just stuck in their minds that something horrible would happen to her if she got pregnant again, and it was up to her to knock some sense into their heads.
The part where they thought she’d actually go around them and purposely get pregnant to circumvent their wishes… That was an entirely different matter, and she was going to set them straight on that as well.
Before she could think about rolling out of the comfort of her bed, the door opened and Dillon peeked his head around.
“Mama? Are you awake?”
Holly smiled. “Yes, baby. I’m awake.”
Dillon pushed the door open wider and scampered in, Michael on his heels. They both climbed into bed on either side and snuggled into her sides.
“The dads said not to wake you, but we didn’t wake you, did we, Mama?” Michael said.
“No, you didn’t, and I always want snuggles from you. Even if I’m asleep.”
“I love you,” Dillon said as he hugged his arms around her.
Holly melted and gathered her boys tight against her. She kissed Dillon’s temple and then gave Michael a kiss to the top of his head.
“I love you too, munchkins. Where is Seth this morning?”
“He’s helping Daddy cook breakfast.” Michael frowned. “They wouldn’t let me help, and
I
wanted to make your favorite.”
Holly chuckled. “That’s okay, sweetie. They won’t ever let me help either.”
“Yeah, Daddy says you’d set the kitchen on fire,” Dillon blurted.
She wasn’t even going to ask which one…
“We’re s’posed to tell you to snuggle us for five minutes and then to come eat,” Michael said as he burrowed further into her side.
Dillon was usually her most lovey child, but Michael loved his snuggles too. She dreaded the day that he grew out of wanting so much affection from his mother. All her children were demonstrative. It was difficult not to be when they grew up in a house where they were showered with so much affection on all sides.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth and joy of having her children tucked up so close to her. She was nearly asleep again when Dillon stirred and stuck his head up.
“Has it been five minutes?” He tugged on her arm. “We should go, Mama. I don’t want you to miss breakfast. They’re making your favorite!”
“Okay, okay,” she said, laughing as they pulled her out of bed. “Let me get dressed.”
Michael frowned. “But you’re still wearing the same clothes you had on last night.”
She glanced down ruefully. “Exactly why I need to change. Why don’t you two go ahead. Give me just a few minutes to get cleaned up and I’ll be out. Promise!”
They charged out of her bedroom and slammed the door with enough force to jar the entire room. She chuckled and headed for the bathroom.
After a hurry-up shower and getting into clean clothes, she left her hair wet and went into the kitchen. All three men were behind the counter doing various tasks and indulging the pleas of three boys to “help”.
When she slid onto one of the stools behind the bar, they all looked up at her. There was a slight hesitation as they gauged her mood and probably thought of what they’d say.
She wanted to make it easy because this was not something she wanted to divide them. Ever.
“Good morning,” she said cheerfully. “The boys said you were making my favorite.”
Adam looked relieved. Ryan put down the glass he’d been pouring milk into and leveled a serious look in her direction.
“We need to talk,” he said quietly. “About a lot of things. For now I just want to say I love you. After breakfast we’ll have that talk.”
“What are you talking about?” Seth piped up.
Ethan smiled and ruffled his hair. “Grown-up stuff.”
Michael scowled. “We’re grown-ups.”
“It’s girly talk,” Holly said, knowing that would turn her boys off faster than anything.
“Eeewwwee,” Dillon exclaimed.
Seth looked appalled. “Then why are the dads talking about
girly
stuff?”
Adam laughed. “Son, in time you’ll understand that every man has to have a girly conversation with his woman whether he wants to or not. His survival depends on his willingness to accept it with good grace.”
Seth didn’t look convinced, but neither did he want to involve himself in something so gross as girly talk.
“Don’t worry,” Holly said lightly. “As soon as we eat, you boys can go outside to play while your dads suffer the indignities of girly talk. They’ll need comfort later so you can all fart and belch together and reaffirm that manly bond.”
The boys giggled and immediately began a series of belches that would peel the paint off the walls.
Ethan put a plate of French toast in front of Holly along with a bottle of real maple syrup. Not the fake stuff, mind you, but the exquisite goodness imported from Vermont. Ethan ordered it off the internet at least once a month.
She dug in with delight and prayed her stomach wouldn’t rebel. The boys attacked their plates with gusto and soon the kitchen hummed with the sounds of laughter, teasing and typical morning conversation.
Halfway through, Dillon and Michael got into a fight over the powdered sugar and the result was a cloud of white powder flying over their heads like a snowstorm.
Ryan’s head hit the table, and he beat it repeatedly as he groaned. “You two are going to be the death of us all.”
“We’re sorry, Daddy,” Dillon said solemnly. “We’ll clean it up. Promise.”
Ryan sighed and stood, collecting his plate. “Come on, you two. First thing you’re going to do is clean yourselves up. Then you can come clean up the table and the floor where you made a mess.”
Fifteen minutes later, the boys were clean, changed and the remains of their mess were no longer visible. The ran through the dining room hollering for Seth to hurry up just before they charged out of the back door and into the yard.
Seth pushed away from the table, picked up his plate and then came around to where Holly sat. “Are you finished, Mama? May I take your plate?”
Oh, she wanted to squeeze him breathless, but she gave him her plate instead and smiled her thanks.
“That boy is going to have girls clinging to his arms and legs,” she muttered as he walked away.
“Takes after me,” Ethan boasted.
Holly burst out laughing and Ethan shot her an offended look.
As soon as the back door slammed shut, Adam glanced Holly’s way. “Come into the living room with us so we can talk.”
She nodded and stood. Ryan slipped his hand over her shoulder and pulled her into his embrace. He said nothing, but he slid his hand down her side and then over her belly, splaying his fingers possessively over the area where their child rested.
He kissed her temple and then nudged her toward the living room.
As soon as she entered, Ethan arranged several pillows on the couch and guided her to take a seat. Then he propped her feet up. It was all she could do not to laugh, but they were being serious and so would she.
They all stood in front of her, ill at ease, arms crossed over their chests.
“Holly, I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I am so goddamn sorry for what I said. There was no excuse for what I accused you of.”
She licked her lips and looked up at him with all the love in her heart. “I know that, Adam.”
“Do you? Because baby, I’d do anything in the world not to hurt you and I know I did just that when I said that shit last night.”
She glanced at the tortured expressions of her other husbands and smiled. “I should have handled it differently. I was a bit—okay a lot—shocked when I found out I was pregnant. And I knew you wouldn’t take it well—any of you. I should have just come right out as soon as I knew so we could deal with it together, but I was being silly and I wanted to ease you into the idea of having another baby. I thought if I brought it up casually to get your reaction then maybe you’d start thinking about it, so when I told you I was pregnant it wouldn’t come as such a shock. I was wrong.”
Ethan took a step forward and then he knelt in front of her. He took her hands in his and squeezed before bringing one of her hands up to kiss her fingers.
“No matter what, we didn’t have the right to say—or think—even for a minute that you would go behind our backs and do something on purpose. It was stupid of us, and we’d very much like your forgiveness.”
“Oh, Ethan,” she whispered. “Of course I forgive you. I love you all so much. I just want…”
“What do you want?” Ryan asked bluntly.
She looked up and their gazes connected. “I want you to be as happy about this child as I am.”
At that, all three men came forward, crowding around her. Adam and Ryan slid onto the couch beside her, and she was embraced in all directions, held, comforted and hugged.
“I’m so damn happy I could burst,” Ethan admitted. “I walked into the boys’ bedroom last night and watched the four of you sleep. And all I could think was that as perfect as everything is, this is my family surrounding me, it’s only going to get better. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? To know that perfection will only become more…perfect?”
“I’m scared shitless, baby. I won’t lie, but when I picture you getting big and round with our baby and how beautiful you are when you’re pregnant, and then I imagine you holding another baby to your breast while you nurse…well, I’m with Ethan. I didn’t think things could get any damn better, but another child. I never dared imagine,” Adam said.
Ryan pulled her closer to him and squeezed fiercely. “I’m happy. You make me happy.”
It was all he said, but it was so typically Ryan that her insides went to putty.
“Promise me you all won’t freak out and hover for the next seven and a half months,” she said.
Their looks told her she was crazy for even getting such a moronic thought in her head that they wouldn’t. Still, she had to try.
“I’m going to be fine. Dillon’s delivery was unfortunate. Sometimes those things happen, but there is nothing in my history to suggest that it will happen again. And if it does, we’re better prepared this time. I’ll be okay. I need you to believe that.”
Adam kissed her long and leisurely. When he pulled away, there was such love in his eyes that tears crowded hers.
“We have a surprise for you,” he said. “It was something we were going to wait on until the boys were back in school, but we want to show it to you now.”
She cocked her head and looked at him in puzzlement.
“You’ll need your boots. It’s a short walk. If you’ll go get them on, I’ll round up the boys and we can be on our way.”
She looked to Ethan and Ryan, but they just smiled and sealed their lips. She sighed and held her hands up so they could help her from the sofa.
She loved surprises as much as they loved to give them to her, but she hated the waiting. She hurried after her boots and in just a few moments returned to the living room where the rest of her family waited.
“Let’s go! Let’s go!” Dillon chanted.
Ethan herded everyone in the direction of the back door. The late summer sun shone through the trees that would soon turn to gold with fall approaching.
They took the trail that led down the slope from where their cabin rested. She frowned when she realized they were heading to the one parcel of land the Colters didn’t own.
It was a beautiful mountain meadow that was firmly ensconced in Colter property. Over the years, the guys had bought up the land immediately surrounding their cabin, but this was the one piece they hadn’t been successful in buying. It was also Holly’s favorite.