Come and Talk to Me (15 page)

She ran her fingers through the carpet that covered the window seat. “Van built this for me. As soon as I said I’ve always wanted a window seat he ran right out, bought everything and made it for me.”

“He loved you so much, Reg. If he weren’t already gone, he’d be dead sure as hell to see you hurting like this. You gotta snap out of it, if not for yourself…for him. He wouldn’t want this.” He kissed her forehead and pulled her tighter to his chest. “I don’t want to leave you here, but we can’t make you come with us. I don’t want you kickin’ and screamin’ about being babysat, but let Alex and Kirsten help you when you need it. Okay?”

She nodded.

“Promise you won’t do a disappearing act on us.”

“I’ll call every day. I promise.”

He knew he shouldn’t have taken her at her word, but he didn’t have a choice.

~*~

Reggie quit her job the following day. They begged her to just take a leave of absence. They said she could have as long as she needed, but she turned down their offer. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she couldn’t go back to living life everyday like nothing had happened. Every detail, every chore, no matter how mundane, reminded her of Van.

Tuesday she drove to Minneapolis to talk with anyone that would listen to her. She was determined to camp out in front of whoever’s door she needed to in order to get some answers. She should have known better than to try to take on the whole US Government, but being rational had never been her strong point. Why start now? Not when it was something this important.

After four days of being sent from department to department, she finally found herself in the office of a man who would be the end of the line for her. The office walls were covered with animal heads of every sort. Stuffed ducks, pheasants and other wild birds filled the shelves. A bearskin covered one wall. She was sickened the second she walked in. Ten minutes after being seated in the office by the secretary, a man in a suit joined her and sat behind his large desk. He introduced himself as Roy Goodyear; she refused the handshake.

“You’re a civilian?” It was the first thing out of her mouth. She had been dealing with nothing but military people in every shade of uniform with too many medals. Everyone had excuses; very few had manners or time.

“This surprises you?”

“This is a military matter. I assumed I would be dealing with military personnel.”

“It’s a government matter, Mrs. Kimball. I assure you, you’re still dealing with Uncle Sam when you’re dealing with me. You won’t find many faces above mine as far as the VA or military hospitals go for the entire state unless you go to the President of the United States himself. You don’t see the president in a uniform now, do you?”

“Frankly, I don’t give a goddamn what the president wears. What I do care about is that your organization killed my husband and no one will talk to me.”

He opened up the file in front of him and flipped through a few papers. “I see the exact opposite. I have depositions from several people that you
have
talked to.”

“Talked to but didn’t get any answers. All I get is the same bullshit runaround.”

“You were given the answers; you just didn’t get the ones that you wanted.” He shut the folder and placed his elbows on his desk, lacing his fingers together. “What exactly is it that you are after, Mrs. Kimball?”

“I want you people to fess up to killing Petty Officer First Class Donovan William Kimball, my husband. My kind, sweet, caring, give-you-the-shirt-off-his-back and save-your-ass-while-he’s-at-it husband! He was twenty-seven years old and you people killed him!” She stood up. “Do you want his last four?”

“You’re not even saying how much you want?”

She was taken aback by his comment and sat back into the chair. “Excuse me?”

“How much is this information worth to you? One million? Five? How much are you after, Mrs. Kimball?”

She finally understood and bolted out of her chair again. “I’m not asking for any money! I don’t want your goddamn money! I want you to admit what you’ve done. I want to make sure that some other poor woman doesn’t go through what has happened to me. You robbed me of the love of my life! You ruined our future…my…life.” She collapsed back into the chair. Her eyes filled, but she had no tears left.

“Your husband had a reaction to the numerous medications in his system in combination with the anesthetic. Period. End of story. It happens in hospitals all around the world every day, military or not, and is no fault of those in charge. Do your research. A thirty-year-old woman died in Minneapolis last month from a reaction to plain old Tylenol. My wife’s aunt died in St. Paul going in for an eyelift. She had a reaction to the anesthetic. These things happen. It’s a sad fact of medicine, Mrs. Kimball. There is nowhere else for this to go. You simply need to accept it as fact.”

He opened up his folder again and flipped through the papers. “Until you are married again, you may keep your military ID and your Champus insurance. The lifesaving incident was military-related and we have done our part there compensating him for it. It’s not standard procedure, but we will continue to do so in his absence and send the payments to you out of respect to him. He was a good man. It’s the least we can do to honor his memory. If he hadn’t injured his back, he would have gone far with us. This matter, however, is officially closed, Mrs. Kimball. We’ve done everything we can and then some to help you. You can spend a fortune on a lawyer but you are going to get nowhere. Think what you want, but we did nothing wrong. Just accept our checks and move on.”

She stood up and approached his desk. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her military ID and whipped it at him. “You can keep your ID and stick it wherever you see fit. I don’t want your damn money either. I’ll get by without your guilty charity.” She leaned on his desk and looked him square in the eyes. “Shove those checks up your ass. If I so much as smell one of them within ten miles of me, I’ll come do it myself.”

Reggie stormed out of the office and made it to the parking lot, not even remembering how she arrived there. She was unwilling to accept defeat but the matter was closed. Dishonoring Van’s memory with the hate her heart felt for the organization wasn’t what she wanted. Without it, they wouldn’t have met. She closed her eyes and pictured him in his uniform. He was never more handsome than when he came home wearing it. He was one of the rare ones, one of the few who joined because he wanted to make a difference in the word, unlike his CO who joined so he’d have a right to boss people around with his rank. She quickly shoved the memory of Garner out of her mind, vowing never to give the military a thought ever again—least of all, him.

That night, she drove to Big Lake and spent the night on the grave of her husband after she once again found her tears and sobbed herself to sleep.

R
EGGIE
D
ROVE
T
HE
T
HREE
H
OURS
home to pack a few things then drove back to Minneapolis. She parked in long-term parking and purchased a ticket for Florida. She wanted to go see her parents. They had their excuses for not being able to make it to the funeral and she forgave them for it, but now she really needed them. Sabrina had actually called them for her, since she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She had been more upset than Reggie had ever seen her before. Reggie would have given anything to see the look on her mother’s face when Sabrina yelled, “Kiss my black ass!” into the phone. God, she loved her.

Reggie called her parents from a layover in Chicago. They were surprised about her sudden plans, but said they’d be there to pick her up. She had to build up the courage to call Sabrina and Troy from Georgia. For the first time, she didn’t mind several layovers for a normally easy flight or even ask about the price.

“Do you know you’ve had Bri worried sick?” Troy shouted into the phone. “What the hell are you doing, Reggie? I almost got on a goddamn plane again!”

“I’m sorry. I had to do a few things, Troy. I couldn’t let it go.”

He let out a loud sigh. “Is it over, Reg?”

“It’s over.”

“Did you find what you wanted?”

“No, but it’s over; I can promise you that. I’m sorry I worried you but please, don’t ever think you need to fly to my rescue again. You two have your own lives to worry about. I’m okay.”

“You’re family, dammit. It’s what family does.”

“I love you guys. I really do.”

“We love you, too. You know that. I don’t know why you’re going to your parents; you should be coming here.”

“I need to see them, Troy. I have to go catch my flight. Tell Bri I’m sorry and I’ll call her from my parent’s house.”

“Will do, princess.”

By the time she arrived in Florida, there wasn’t much to do except fall asleep. She received hugs hello, apologies again for not being able to go to the funeral, and they exchanged superficial pleasantries. After saying their good nights, she retired to the guest room.

This wasn’t her childhood home or bed, but she slept oddly well when she stayed under her parent’s roof. When Reggie woke up the following morning, her dad was tending the garden and her mother was sitting in the screened porch having coffee. It looked a lot like the screened porch she and Van had in their crooked little house in Marathon. Her parents had never come down to see it; she wasn’t going to mention that.

Reggie and her mother sat quietly sipping their coffee, enjoying the sounds of the morning. Having spent many a morning on their porch alone while Van was working, Reggie welcomed the familiar bird songs. She recalled delighting in the occasional egrets that landed in her yard; they were almost as tall as she was. Silently she chuckled at the memory of the morning she found a huge iguana that had somehow made its way into the screened area. She had to call one of the ‘dysfunctionals’ to get it out for her. Van couldn’t have been called away from the station when he was on duty. His crewmate was more than happy to come over and help her. It had been someone’s pet that either escaped or was carelessly released. In any case, it had become the crewmember’s new pet, which he had promptly named ‘Reginald.’

Reggie looked over at her mother, admiring her features for a very long time. Even at fifty, she was still stunning and could probably pass for thirty. The few times they had shared outings at the mall on Oahu, they had always been mistaken for sisters. She had the good fortune of inheriting her mother’s genes, but she didn’t care. Van had always fussed about her beauty, but she never felt worthy of the praise. Now she could care less about being looked at by another man again.

Reggie looked past the garden to the neighbor’s house, where an elderly couple played with three children who were obviously their grandchildren. Reggie had never gotten the chance to know her grandparents. She wondered if it was a fight that kept her parents from seeing them or if it was a family tradition to distance yourself from your children. It had never been explained and she never pressed the issue. Her parents did move here to be with her brother though; maybe they were changing.

“Does Ryan come by with the kids much?” she asked her mom.

“Usually on Fridays for dinner. He doesn’t always make it, but that wife of his shows up and brings them along.”

For as long as he’d been married, his wife Ivy was referred to as ‘that wife of his.’ That was an upgrade from ‘his future ex-wife.’ They had been married for eight years and had been very happy. Reggie suspected her parents wouldn’t have been happy if he had married the Queen of Sheba. They treated her nice enough to her face, though. Ivy believed in family bonds and always went out of her way to be sure his parents were included in the kids’ lives. Reggie really liked her, although they rarely talked. They didn’t have a lot to talk about. Ivy discussed PTA meetings and soccer games while Reggie could only describe the wonderful new home she completed a material list for.

“I’m looking forward to seeing the kids again.”

“Exactly how long are you planning to stay, dear?”

“I’m not sure. I just needed to get away. Is this an inconvenient time for you?”

“No. I was just curious. Aren’t you going to lose your job if you take too much time away?”

“I quit my job, Mommy.” As childish as it may have sounded to someone else, Reggie still called her parents Mommy and Daddy. What they lacked in physical affection for her, she had unknowingly tried to make up when she reached out to them verbally. She longed to stay the little girl who used to get good night hugs, healing kisses on her boo-boos, and an occasional ‘I love you.’

“That wasn’t very smart, dear. What are you going to do? How will you pay your bills? I certainly hope you haven’t come here looking for money.”

Reggie threw her head back in frustration, refusing to do what she always did in fights; stomp away. She wasn’t letting her mother get to her. “I’m not here for money. We’re…I’m fine for money. I needed to be with family, that’s all.” Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea coming here after all.

“At least you’ll still be getting his benefits, right? Betty Jo over at the VFW said since he was on disability, it goes to the spouse.”

“I’m not getting anything from the military, Mommy.”

“Well, I’d look into it. Betty Jo said—”

“I’m not getting anything. Case closed.” Her voice was louder than she intended.

Her mother was unaffected by her tone. “He did have life insurance though, right?”

“Can we not talk about money?”

“I’m worried about what you’ll do.”

“Why start now?” Reggie hadn’t wanted to start a fight, but she couldn’t keep the words from coming out.

“Don’t give me that attitude of yours, missy. We took good care of you. You and your brother went to the finest school there was. Those dance classes of yours weren’t cheap either. You may not think so, but we made sacrifices for you; not to mention your father and I staying on Oahu for a year beyond what we wanted so we could be there for you.”

“Right. Then you left me to fend for myself. I was barely eighteen.”

“I was aware of your age. You did always seem older than you were, dear. You were always ‘Miss Independent.’”

“Because I had to be.”

“You seemed more than happy to marry that McMillan fellow so quick. We couldn’t have stopped you if we wanted. How were we to know what he was, if you didn’t? You always jumped first and asked questions later.”

“Thanks for being there for me for that, too.”

“And what could we have done that the doctors weren’t doing?”

“I don’t know, Mommy. Love me?”

“You know your father and I love you.”

“It would be nice to hear it now and then.” Reggie walked in the house, grabbing her purse and phone. It wasn’t far to a playground. She wanted to be alone and sit on a swing.

~*~

Regina’s parents lived in Jacksonville. It was too far away to drive to the Keys, at least on a whim. She didn’t even know if anyone from Van’s old crew would still be there anyway. After giving it a lot of thought, she called the cell number she last had for Derrick. It had easily been a year since they talked. She was sad that they slowly drifted apart after the move. Everyone moves on, gets a new crew or career, and makes new friends. Being back in Florida suddenly made her miss him like never before.

Instead of hearing “We are sorry. The number you have called is not in service at this time,” like she expected, she got, “Derrick’s bait shop. Master-baiter Derrick at your service.”

She chuckled. “Derrick?”

“Reggie? Hey, baby! My screen is broke. I don’t have any caller ID. Damn, it’s good to hear your voice. You calling your favorite old lover boy all the way from Minnesota?”

“I’m in Jacksonville, Derrick. I’m at my parent’s house.”

“Get the fuck outta town! I’m in Mayport at my sisters. Shoot me an address, I’ll be there in half an hour. Tell that old man of yours tough shit. He can come along for the ride, but you’re mine today.”

Shit. Word hasn’t spread here about Van yet.

Reggie didn’t want to go back to her parent’s house so she told him the name of the park she was at. He reassured her he knew the area well and would find her. Thirty-five minutes later, he pulled up and she received more than enough bear-hug to make up for what she didn’t get from her parents.

“So, where’s the old man? He decide to finally step aside and leave you to me? If so, your timing stinks. I was married last month. Been meaning to call you two. I’ve been a little, you know, busy.”

She gave him another strong hug and a loud, “Congratulations.” When her smiled faded, he knew something was wrong.

“Let’s go somewhere and talk.” He wrapped his arm around her and walked her to the car.

~*~

Derrick drove to a restaurant he knew well. It had the best jambalaya in the state, according to him. He gave the order to the waitress for two helpings and two beers. It was only ten o’clock, but they would open the bar up for a regular like him. He was at his sister’s house every long break he had. His sister teased that he didn’t go to see her; he wanted to go to the restaurant. Reggie didn’t have an appetite, but the thought of an old Florida favorite was beginning to change her mind. Again, she strained to remember when she had eaten last.

Reggie gave him a very condensed version of the chain of events, explaining it as the VA hospital doctors had explained it to her, not wanting to put any doubt in his mind about how she felt about it.

“Why didn’t you call me, Reggie?”

“I didn’t call anyone. I couldn’t talk about it at all. It still seems too unreal. He was too young to die, Derrick.”

“Don’t take this bad, Reg. You know I loved him like a brother from another mother, but I’m really not surprised.”

She sat back from his embrace with a shocked expression. “But why? His pain wasn’t that bad when we were here. He didn’t have to take much by way of pills. I never would have dreamed his heart would have given out. How could you?”

“It wasn’t the pills, Reggie. I’m surprised he went that way; I’m not surprised his life was cut short. I always thought he’d bite it helping some little old lady across the street.”

She could only look at him blankly.

“He was an adrenaline junkie sure as if he were a stuntman dead set on breaking record after record. But—” he paused “—he was a hero to the end, baby. He may not have felt like it, but he was. He didn’t only save the life that injured his back. You know that, right?”

“He never talked about work. I could only assume the things he did. I guessed he didn’t want me worrying about him all the time.”

“Didn’t work, did it?”

“No,” she admitted.

“You remember the morning he came home after he had been shot?”

“Like I could forget that if I wanted to.”

“He took that one for me.”

“For you?”

“I had left without my vest that night. I was in a mood and sick of the damn bulky thing. He noticed and gave me a good ass-chewing over it, but there was nothing he could do; we were miles out already. I knew better. I could have gotten in a lot of trouble for being out of uniform, but I was stupid and I left it behind. Anyway, that bullet was mine. He shoved me out of the way but you know what, Reg? He would have done it even if he wasn’t in a vest and I was. It was who he was.”

Leaning into his chest, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. “These stories don’t make me feel any better, Derrick. You and his friend Troy talk about someone I didn’t even know. I didn’t see that side of him.”

“But it’s who he was, Reggie.”

“He’s still gone and I still miss him as much as ever.”

“A part of him had already died when he was thrown out. He wasn’t going to be happy selling and repairing computers and he certainly wouldn’t have accepted being a burden to you if he ended up in a wheelchair.”

“It wouldn’t have been a burden to me.”

“He would have seen it differently.”

“I’ve missed you, Derrick.” Reggie made her hug even tighter.

“Missed ya more, sweetheart. And before you start with me, I promise I’ve never left without my vest again.”

“That’s a good boy.”

~*~

Reggie only managed to stay a week at her parent’s house. The stress outweighed any other feelings she had. Frustration was not the best substitute for sadness, but her desire to cry at every turn had finally been suppressed. She did have a great visit with her brother and his wife and two kids. The two of them had never been overly close. He had six years on her so they didn’t share any of the same interests growing up. They had the love of being family and she could have gone to him in a pinch for anything, but she wasn’t going to sit and cry on his shoulder. He didn’t know her well enough to look deeper when she said, “I’m fine, Ryan, really.”

Reggie flew back to the Minneapolis airport, wishing she had paid the extra three hundred dollars for the ticket to fly out of Bemidji. She wasn’t looking forward to the long drive. Then she thought about swinging by Van’s grave on the way. It made the drive worthwhile.