Authors: Mila Gray
I don’t normally wear make-up I feel ridiculous, like a
clown. I think about wiping it off but I don’t want to
offend Didi, and then I realize that maybe it’s less clown
than I think, and it might be fun to pretend for a night to
be a blonde bombshell seductress.
I walk down the stairs, feeling Kit’s eyes on me with-
out even having to look up. I can’t look up. I’m too
nervous. Halfway down, though, I can’t help myself. I
raise my head, see him staring at me and almost lose my
footing. As it is my stomach kangaroo-hops at the sight of
him. He and Riley are both wearing 1940s-style black tie. I
don’t know where they managed to find suits like that,
but it makes me want to build a time machine and head
back to that decade permanently. Then I remember the
Second World War and decide that’s maybe not such a
good idea. Kit’s eyes have widened, his lips are parted.
His gaze travels down my body in a way that makes
me feel unsteady on my feet. When he raises his eyes to
mine I see the desire in them and it gives me a thrill like
nothing I’ve ever known.
‘You look nice,’ Riley says, though he’s frowning as he
says it.
‘You look beautiful,’ Kit mouths behind his back.
This year’s prom committee decided on The US Grant
Hotel in San Diego, renowned for its five-star splendour,
as the venue, and when we walk into the ballroom I’m
rendered speechless by how beautiful it is, with glisten-
ing golden lights reflecting off the polished floors and the
lights of downtown reflecting in the windows. There’s a
DJ set up in one corner, a table bowing under the weight
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of canapés along one wall, and bowls of punch which I
suspect from the levels of rowdiness and screaming have
been laced with something stronger than orange juice.
One couple are practically eating each other’s faces off
in the doorway, and we have to squeeze past them. Kit
winks at me, and when we walk into the ballroom, I feel
his hand slide gently down my back in a caress. It’s just
the lightest pressure but it electrifies my skin. I start to
imagine his hands sliding under the dress and over my
body and then that becomes all I can think about. When
Riley asks what I want to drink I just stare at him blankly.
‘You want a drink?’ he asks for the third time.
‘Yes,’ I say.
He gives me a weird look before gazing around the
room with a faintly furrowed brow. He doesn’t look that
impressed with the decor or the venue, and I bet he’s
thinking of the lost hours he could be spending with Jo. I
wish he’d at least try to pretend to be happy to be here.
I hardly ever get to see him any more. After Dad’s little
drama the other night, Riley’s been home even less.
He and Kit make a beeline for the bar and Didi runs off
to touch up her make-up in the bathroom, leaving me to
stand there watching all the couples in various stage of
making out, wondering how I’ll be able to keep my hands
off Kit for the whole night.
‘Jessa?’
I spin around. A guy I don’t recognize is standing
behind me, smiling at me uncertainly. ‘Jessa Kingsley?’ he
asks.
‘Yes,’ I say.
His smile widens. ‘It’s me, Todd. Todd Hansler.’
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My mouth falls open as I suddenly place him.
‘Oh my God. Todd. What are you doing here?’ I shake
my head in amazement. The last time I saw Todd was
back in sixth grade. We went to school together on the
base at Panzer.
‘We just got back from Germany,’ he starts explaining.
‘My dad took a desk job. He’s working with your father
now on the base at Pendleton.’
I’m still trying to reconcile the memory I have of the
short, overweight boy with buck teeth who used to read
comics in the school cafeteria with the tall, athletic and
self-assured guy with perfect teeth that’s standing in front
of me now.
‘Wow,’ I say, finding it hard to hide my surprise. ‘Oh
my God. You’re . . . I wouldn’t have recognized you. How
long has it been?’
He laughs. ‘I don’t know. At least five years. You
haven’t changed a bit. I would recognize you anywhere.’
He takes a step back and his gaze sweeps up my body.
I shuffle awkwardly. ‘I’m not sure that’s a compliment,’
I say. At twelve I wasn’t exactly winning any beauty
pageants.
‘Oh, it is,’ he says, ‘rest assured. You look great.’ I don’t
think I’m mistaking the look on his face when he says it
and it makes me blush.
‘Who are you here with?’ I ask, looking around and
hoping to take the focus off me.
‘Oh, some girl,’ he says dismissively.
‘Who?’ I ask.
‘Stephanie Murphy. She’s having a hair and make-up
crisis in the bathroom.’
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‘Oh,’ I say, wondering how he knows her and why he’s
come with her.
‘So congratulations,’ he says, gesturing at the room.
‘Where are you going to college?’
‘USD,’ I say with a forced smile, feeling that familiar
pang of regret as I say it. ‘What about you?’
He grins at me. ‘USD too. Guess we’ll be freshmen
together.’ He pauses. ‘I’m going through Officer Candidate
School at the same time.’
‘You’re enlisting?’ I ask, though I’m not surprised.
Todd’s family is a military family like mine.
‘I’m hoping to get a commission once I finish college,’
he says.
‘An officer, huh?’ I say, trying to look impressed.
‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘I heard Riley already enlisted.’
‘Yeah. He’s a marine security guard now. He’s back for
a few weeks.’ I twist my head around to see if I can see
him. ‘He’s here somewhere. You should talk to him.’
There’s no sign of Riley, but I spot Kit walking towards
me holding two drinks, his focus fixed firmly on Todd.
When he reaches us, he hands me one of the drinks and
stays standing right by my side, his arm brushing mine.
‘Um,’ I say to Todd. ‘This is Kit, my . . . ’
‘Boyfriend,’ Kit finishes for me, holding out his hand
for Todd to shake. His expression is pleasant and relaxed
but there’s a bright hardness to his eyes that makes me
duck my head to hide my smile. He’s jealous. Todd looks
surprised and throws a questioning look in my direction
before turning back to Kit and taking his hand.
‘Hi, good to meet you.’
I see the tendons in Kit’s arm grow taut and the tan
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skin of his hand pale as he squeezes Todd’s hand in a
Vulcan death grip of a handshake.
‘This is Todd,’ I explain quickly, hoping I can get them
to release each other and make nice. ‘We knew each other
when we were kids. We were on the base together in
Germany.’
‘Right,’ says Kit, finally letting go of Todd’s hand. Todd
grimaces, flexes his hand and lets it drop to his side.
‘He just got back,’ I hear myself telling Kit. ‘He’s going
to OCS.’
‘Congratulations,’ says Kit, still holding Todd’s gaze.
‘You in the Corps?’ asks Todd, though I can tell it’s just
a polite question, not an interested one.
‘Yes. MSG,’ replies Kit.
‘Impressive,’ Todd says with the smile of a politician.
He nods at me. ‘I’ll leave you to it. Better go find my date.
It was good to see you again, Jessa. Let’s catch up soon.’
He kisses my cheek before walking away.
I turn to Kit, resting one hand on my hip.
‘What?’ he asks, shrugging at me.
‘What was that?’ I ask.
‘What was what?’
‘You just scared him off.’
Kit takes a sip of his drink. ‘I didn’t like the way he
was looking at you.’
‘The way he was looking at me? He wasn’t looking at
me any way.’
Kit almost spits his drink across the room. ‘He was
looking at you like he was mentally undressing you.’
I press my lips together. He might have a point.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, turning to face me, his voice soft
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and a small smile of apology forming on his lips. ‘I just
don’t like the idea of another guy looking at you like that.
The only person I want to mentally undress you is me.’
My heart gives a little leap. ‘Just mentally?’ I whisper.
Kit steps even closer to me and I get a waft of his after-
shave. Why does he have to smell so damn good all the
time? How am I supposed to keep my distance?
‘Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?’ Kit
says.
I smile at him. His focus is on my lips.
‘If I don’t get to kiss you soon there’s no telling what
might happen.’
I glance over his shoulder. ‘Where’s Riley?’ I ask.
‘Over at the bar, talking to the barman.’
I spot him. He has his back turned, thankfully. ‘Come
on,’ I say to Kit.
‘Where are we going?’ Kit shouts over the music as he
starts to follow me.
I weave my way through the dance floor, which is
already crowded, making a beeline for the balcony.
Outside a few couples are taking selfies against the skyline.
I draw Kit to the far end, into the shadows behind a pot
plant. We set our glasses down on a table and next thing I
know Kit is pushing me backwards against the wall. His
hands slide up my sides and his lips find mine in the dark.
There’s a desperate hunger in our kiss, as though it’s been
years and not just a day since we last saw each other.
He grips me to him and I wrap my arms around his
neck. His hand trails all the way down to my thigh and I
hoist it up onto his hip and he holds me like that, pinned
to the wall.
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For a second he peels backwards and looks at me, his
face dark with desire. I’m glad I’m hanging onto him or
I wouldn’t trust my legs to keep me up. Behind him my
classmates are setting off Chinese lanterns from the bal-
cony. As they drift upwards into the sky they illuminate
Kit’s face, making his eyes glimmer with flecks of gold.
He leans forward and kisses me again just as I make a
wish that it will always be like this, that we will always
want each other the way we do now.
‘Shit, there you are!’
We burst apart like free divers coming up for air.
Didi’s standing panting in front of us. ‘Riley’s looking
for you.’ She looks over her shoulder. ‘Shit, he’s coming!’
She turns back around and lunges at Kit, using her
thumb to wipe off the telltale signs of red lipstick
smeared all over his face.
‘Go hide,’ she orders me, waving her hands at me in a
shooing gesture.
Not needing any more encouragement, I dart past her
to the other end of the balcony, sliding into a group of
girls who are all talking about college. It feels like I have
two hearts in my chest, each trying to beat faster than the
other. Out of the corner of my eye I see Riley appear in
the doorway, carrying two drinks and frowning as he
looks around. He spies Kit and Didi and marches towards
them.
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Riley appears in the French doors, scanning the balcony.
‘Just go with this,’ Didi says.
I’m not sure what she means but next thing I know
she’s throwing herself on me, laying a kiss on my cheek
and putting her arm around my waist. I’m too stunned
to do anything and when I look up I see Riley has seen.
He’s walking towards us, shooting me a sniper death
stare. Shit. Didi’s hanging off me like a decoration on a
Christmas tree. Maybe she’s overdoing it. I wonder if
Jessa is watching.
‘Where’s Jessa?’ Riley asks, his expression stony. ‘I got
her a drink.’
‘I think she’s in the bathroom,’ Didi says. ‘I’ll take that
if it’s going, though,’ she says, snatching the drink from
Riley’s hand.
Riley is still glaring at me. Catching the tension
between us, Didi backs away. ‘I’m going to go find her,’
she says. She cuts me a panicked, apologetic look over
Riley’s shoulder before she disappears back inside.
‘Dude,’ Riley says the moment she’s gone. ‘Aren’t you
fucking some other girl?’
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‘I’m not fucking anyone,’ I spit back at him, furious for
reasons I can’t even decipher.
‘Well, don’t screw around with Didi. She’s too good for
you.’
His words hit me like a punch to the gut and I take
a half-step backwards. Did he really just say that? ‘What’s
that mean?’ I ask, aware that my voice sounds calm, though
inside my anger’s brewing dangerously.
‘Nothing,’ says Riley, seeming to realize what he just