Authors: Sandi Perry
Her
mother
put
her
hand
over
Allison's
trembling
one
as
the
tears
poured
silently
down
their
faces.
"Sometimes
I
think
there'll
be
a
day
when
I
wake
up
and
the
first
thought
won't
be
of
the
accident,"
she
said.
They
sat
like
that
for
a
long
while.
"I
know
you
wanted
me
to
get
married
young
like
you,
but
I'm
a
different
person,"
Allison
said.
"It
never
was
a
priority
for
me
and
it
still
isn't.
We'll
add
that
to
the
list
of
my
shortcomings."
"Don't
say
it
that
way.
I'm
not
disappointed,
a
little
frustrated
maybe.
I
lust
after
other
people's
grandchildren,"
her
mother
sighed.
Finally,
Allison
got
up.
"I'm
not
thirty
yet,
there's
still
plenty
of
time
to
panic."
Her
eyes
crinkled
as
she
spoke.
"I
think
I'll
shower
now,
and
then
I'll
help
you
sort
through
Dad's
things.
I
know
that
can't
be
an
easy
thing
to
do."
She
gave
her
mother
a
hug.
"I
really
am
sorry
for
all
of
this
craziness.
But
we'll
stick
together
and
get
through
it.
And
if
I
haven't
said
it
enough
in
the
past,
I'll
say
it
again
now.
Mom,
you're
spectacular,
and
I
love
you."
****
A
couple
of
hours
later
Allison
stood,
arms
akimbo,
as
she
surveyed
the
piles
of
stuff
in
her
parents'
large
walk-in
closet.
"How
did
you
accumulate
so
much
stuff?"
"Not
me,
your
father.
I'm
the
thrower-outer;
he
was
the
pack
rat.
I
guess
we
can
throw
everything
out
now,"
she
sighed.
Allison
reached
for
a
box
at
the
back
of
the
closet
and
sat
down
cross-legged
on
the
floor
as
she
studied
her
find.
"So,
this
is
where
my
first
sketch
of
Zeidy
was
all
along.
Dad
had
it?"
Her
mother
nodded,
"He
was
very
proud
of
you."
"Really?"
"You're
surprised?
You
know
how
much
he
loved
you."
"Yeah,
but
Dad
always
pushed
me.
He
never
seemed
pleased."
Her
mother
sat
down
on
the
closet
floor
next
to
her."You're
right.
It
was
difficult
to
please
your
father,
but
only
because
his
standards
were
so
high,
not
because
you
weren't
smart
or
talented.
That
was
his
flaw,
not
yours."
"Well,
it
might
have
helped
if
I
had
known
that
years
ago."
She
wiped
away
a
tear
as
she
spoke.
Her
mother
smoothed
down
her
hair.
"I
would
tell
him
that
he
pushed
both
of
you
too
hard.
He
said
it
was
a
tough
world
out
there
and
it
was
his
responsibility
to
prepare
you
for
it."
At
eye
level
with
the
bottom
shelf,
Allison
spotted
a
worn,
leather-book.
Reaching
for
it,
she
recognized
it
instantly.
"This
was
Zeidy's
prayer
book;
I
remember
watching
him
reading
it
for
hours
when
we'd
go
up
to
their
house
for
the
weekend."
"This
was
his
book
of
Psalms.
He
would
pull
it
out
on
occasion,
because
he
said
it
gave
him
comfort
to
pray
when
the
world
seemed
too
much
for
him."
"I
remember
one
time
when
Dad
got
so
mad
at
him.
I'd
never
heard
him
raise
his
voice
to
Zeidy,
before."
"
Pop,
could
you
put
that
book
away?
We're
on
vacation
now.
Why
don't
you
give
it
a
rest?"
"Does
God
take
a
rest?
Look
at
all
the
beauty
surrounding
you
and
the
sun
in
the
sky.
You
have
food
in
your
belly
and
a
beautiful
family.
It
wouldn't
hurt
you
to
say
thank
you
to
Him
once
in
a
while."
"Where
have
your
prayers
gotten
you,
Pop?
You
have
one
son
in
the
ground
and
the
other
you
won't
talk
to
because
of
your
revered
religion.
I'm
an
only
child.
Should
I
thank
G-d
for
that?"
"Of
course
not.
You
can't
humble
yourself
when
you
have
anger
in
your
heart.
One
day
you'll
appreciate
all
that
you
have."
"I
am
grateful
and
I
don't
have
to
read
some
archaic
words
in
a
book
to
know
it."
"I
remember
at
the
time
being
so
scared
that
Daddy
was
yelling.
Zeidy
was
always
so
tranquil;
I
never
understood
how
such
a
gentle
man
had
such
a
fierce
son."
She
smiled,
"I'm
happy
to
see
that
Dad
saved
these
things;
they
did
mean
something
to
him,
after
all."