Come to Me (24 page)

A woman's face became that of a rabbit, and her husband's ears turned to butterfly wings. A little boy grew rabbit ears, while his sister turned iridescent blue. Everyone began changing: to red, to yellow, to purple, to half-rabbit creatures, to winged beings.

The cow-rabbit lowed in fright and bolted, giant fluffy tail bouncing above enormous hooved feet. Several big dog-bunnies chased the chicken-bunnies down the street in a cacophony of barks and cackles, while children wailed and women screamed. People began running in circles, pulling at their own hair and clothes, and at that of others, trying to tear off the animal parts. One woman yanked on her husband's butterfly ears, and another ran shrieking away from her own child, who pursued her with bunny mouth open wide in a toothy wail.

Samira saw her own hands turn into paws. Andrei, Petru, and Constantin, their bodies rainbow-hued and bedecked with wings, shook their heads in defeated resignation at the chaos Nicolae had caused.

The mayhem finally penetrated Nicolae's absorption, and his mouth dropped open in horror. "No! No, it's all pretend! Don't be frightened!
Loomda eel Loomda ee!"
he shouted, trying to turn people and animals back to what they had been. Some changed back, while others ran from earshot, wings and ears flapping in the wind of their passage. "They're just illusions!"

Doors slammed shut as villagers found shelter within. The street cleared out, leaving only a few confused animals and slow-moving people who stared now in relief at their own hands, normal once again.

One small girl, brave beyond all others, walked slowly up to Nicolae, her little jaw set in a hard line. She stopped just inches away from him and tilted her head back to glare up at him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You're a very bad man," she said, and then kicked him in the shin.

"Hey!" Nicolae said.

The girl turned with a flounce and marched to her home, where her parents waited anxiously in their doorway. They yanked her inside the moment she was within reach and slammed shut the door. Samira heard the bar being dropped into place.

Nicolae looked at Samira, all the excitement now drained from his eyes, his face slack and pale. "You were right. I was never meant to be a wizard."

"I was wrong—"

"No." He shook his head and turned back toward the fortress. "I shouldn't have come out here."

His disappointment was almost more than she could bear. She would do anything to see the light and excitement back on his face; to see the happiness that had so briefly consumed him.

She set off after him.

"Nicolae! Nicolae, wait!" Samira called after him. His steps didn't slow, and she had to jog to catch up to him on the walkway over the lake. "Nicolae!"

"Leave me alone!" he said over his shoulder.

"No! I want to talk about what happened in the village—"

"Leave me alone, I tell you!" He shook off the hand she laid on his shoulder and trudged into the fortress.

"We can figure out what went wrong—"

"I already know what went wrong. The same thing that always goes wrong: me!" he said, turning to face her. "
I
am the problem, not the spells. And
I
can't be fixed."

"But Nicolae—"

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk about it!" He went through the ruined church to his tower stairs.

Samira followed as close as a shadow, unwilling to give up. "It was working for you; you were doing it right. It just got out of control."

"
I
got out of control," he said between labored breaths as he climbed the stairs.

Samira gasped for air between her own words, the heavy clothes hampering her movements and making her sweat. "But that just takes discipline."

"Discipline!" He shouted a laugh and pulled himself up the last few steps into the tower room. "You've been speaking with my father! It's discipline I've been lacking all along."

"Nonsense. It took discipline to study all these books," she said, emerging into the room right after him and gesturing with what strength she had left at the tomes strewn about on table and floor.

He shook his head. "Discipline in the midst of cold reason is no difficulty. It's when passion enters that I get into trouble. I lose my head, and then disaster inevitably follows. Every time!" he shouted, and banged his fist on the table in frustration, making Samira jump.

"I've got to control myself," he said more softly, almost as if to himself. His eyes were unfocused, and Samira didn't know if he even remembered she was in the room. "
I
have to cut the tie between heart and mind. I'll never succeed until I do." He clenched his left fist, holding it against his belly, and with his right hand absently stroked the scars that webbed down over his wrist.

"No, Nicolae… that can't be right."

He looked at her. "You saw it for yourself. What other reason could there be?"

"You'll never make the right decisions if you shut out your heart. Not caring at all causes far more damage than caring too much ever did," she said, thinking of her own mistakes.

"Then why did butterflies and rabbits end up scaring a village half to death?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Well, neither do I. Everyone near me would be safer if I gave up magic entirely." He flipped shut the cover of a book in disgust.

"You didn't hurt anyone."

"I frightened them."

"Not me."

"No, but you would be a hard one to scare, wouldn't you?" he said.

"Easier lately," she said with a touch of bitterness. "I'm not afraid of magic, though. You know that well enough. Try the spell again; maybe we can figure out what went wrong."

He shook his head. "There's no use to it.
I
am the fatal flaw."

"You don't know that. Maybe there's something in the instructions that got left out."

"No, I followed them exactly, I'm sure of it," he said with exasperation. "Just let it be, Samira. Leave it."

She found the book on the table and pulled it toward her, opening it to the middle. "Maybe there were instructions that you couldn't see?"

His lips parted as if to scold her again, but then his brows rose a fraction, betraying interest as he thought about what she said. Then he turned away. "No. I shouldn't even try until I figure out how to shut off my emotions."

"I'm sure that can't be the answer," Samira repeated softly. "Please, Nicolae. Try again just once, for me. I know we'll figure it out.
Please
."

His shoulders, rigid in defiance, relaxed in defeat. He sighed and turned back to her, finding a place to sit on the bench beside her. His dark eyes met hers. "Once, and no more," he said grumpily. "And only to make you happy."

"And to make me shut up?" she asked.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "Perhaps."

She drew one knee up and wrapped her arms around it, resting her chin on top as she watched eagerly, waiting for him to do his magic.

He grimaced at her. "It's not going to work properly."

"We'll see." He picked up a quill from the table, then set it down again in front of her on the bench.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Shh." He frowned in concentration, staring at the feather. Samira peered around her knee at it, moving her foot aside so she could see it better.

He began the chanting, and the feather suddenly transformed into a small yellow bird.

"Oh! Look at it!" Samira said in delight.

Nicolae finished the spell and stared at the bird. It fluttered its wings, chirped, and cocked its head. Nicolae looked suspiciously at the bird, as if expecting it to attack. He put his hand down to it and coaxed it onto his palm. It sat happily there, and after a moment of surprised contemplation Nicolae lifted it up onto Samira's knee.

She laughed, and tried to touch it with her fingertip. It ducked its head away from her touch.

"It can't fly away," Nicolae said. "The 'bird' must remain wherever the feather is."

Samira tried touching it again, and felt something light move beneath her touch; the bird flitted off her knee and flew with slow flaps to the floor.

"
Loomda ee
," Nicolae said, and the bird became a quill again, lying upon the dusty floorboards. They both stared at it for several long moments, waiting for something to go wrong.

Samira looked at her hands. There was no sign of sprouting feathers. She lowered her foot back to the ground, sitting up straight on the bench. "It worked."

"This was just a small spell."

"But nothing went wrong."

"It would if I tried something more."

"Then try it! I know you can do this. I
know
it."

"Why do you have such faith in me all of a sudden?" he asked.

"It's not 'all of a sudden.' I had faith in you before, but I didn't know what direction you were supposed to be taking."

"And you do now?" he asked doubtfully, but with a touch of hope. He seemed to be asking her for reassurance and approval.

"You showed me yourself that you have a gift for this. That was real power you were wielding out in the village, Nicolae. It may have gotten away from you, but it was real. That is a truly rare thing—so rare that I have seen it only a handful of times before, in all my history. And I could see it in your face."

"See what?" he asked cautiously. "What did my face tell you?"

"I could see that this was where your heart was; that you came alive while wielding the magic. Your whole soul was in that spell." She reached over and laid her hand on his on the bench. "When you find something that makes you feel that way, Nicolae, you can't give up on it, no matter what goes wrong. I have seen too many human lives pass without ever finding such a passion.

"You'll figure out what went wrong in the village," she continued, picking up his hand and holding it. "You're going to master this; I know it. You have the strength. You have the gift."

His expression had softened as she spoke, and a look of wonder was now upon it. With his free hand he reached up and gently stroked her cheek, once, with the backs of his fingers. "Where did you come from?" he asked softly. "How did you end up in my life?"

Her lips parted in surprise at his gentleness, and what almost seemed to be affection in his touch upon her cheek. She knew that his questions were not seeking literal answers, but she had none of greater scope to give. "I believe in you," was all she could say.

He leaned slowly forward, his gaze upon her lips and then rising to meet her eyes. There was something gentle and true there, vulnerable and yet strong; and she realized with a shock that she was, for the first time, seeing something of his true heart that he had shielded so well from the world, even in his dreams.

She felt a start of tears in her eyes, her heart tripping. The moment felt so fragile, a breath could break it.

His glance went up to the kerchief tied over her head, and with a faint frown marring his brow he reached up and pushed it off. "Don't cover your hair again."

She blinked, the tripping of her heart swirling lower through her torso, her whole body awakening to his nearness and intention.