“Master!” I turned and gasped into the hollow of his shoulder. I felt the collar press against my flesh, solid and real. I felt the leash dangling down between my outthrust breasts as my chest heaved up and down. The leash ended in his fist; he had inexorable control over me.
* * *
Later we lay exhausted and fucked-out in bed. I told Jeremy a few of the racier Greek myths I knew.
“That's the best mythology, isn't it?” he asked. “That's why I made your party Greek. Not just so I could make you a slave girl in a toga and fuck your ass.”
I snorted. “Yeah. You can do that anytime.”
“I think from now on I'll do it at least once a week.” He had put the collar and leash away with all the other toys. I had a feeling I'd be seeing them again.
We laughed together. It felt so easy and comfortable with him sometimes. He could be so amazing, so creative.
“Jeremy, thank you. It was fun tonight. It was a wonderful birthday. One of the best ever, really.”
“You deserve it. It was my pleasure to give it to you.”
I looked into his eyes. I hated to ruin the atmosphere we'd created, but there was something I had to know. “Jessamine said something weird to me tonight.”
His gaze shifted away. “Yeah, well, she's weird, so that doesn't surprise me.”
“She said you were worried about a stalker.”
He shrugged. “I have a lot of stalkers.”
I thought about him, Martin, and Kyle hunched over the laptop, and the way he wouldn't let me go anywhere alone. “Do I have a stalker, Jeremy?”
“No,” he said quickly, but the look on his face gave him away. I watched him, wanting to know more but afraid at the same time. “I mean, there's some weirdo…” He waved his hand. “Doing some weird stuff, but nothing you should worry about.”
“What kind of weird stuff?”
“It's just a jealous fan, some woman. Doing stupid shit. Just… Nell…please—”
“Why didn't you tell me? This is what you were fighting with Martin about last week. Isn't it?” It all made sense now, his anger, his frustration. The way he'd pulled away from me and punished me for asking too many questions. This was the source of the anxiety that I couldn't place.
He sighed. “Yes. Okay. There's a stalker. And I'm taking care of it.”
“Taking care of what? What is she doing?”
“Oh, some Web sites she has—”
“Some Web sites? Plural?” My eyes widened in alarm. There were stalkers, and then there were
stalkers
. “Am I in danger?”
“Just calm down. If I thought you were in danger, I'd—”
“Never let me go out alone? Keep secrets from me?”
He brushed my hair back from my face and kissed my forehead.
“Don't fret about it,” he said. “I just didn't want to worry you about something that was out of your control. And listen, that's just what happens when you're in the public eye. I wish Jess had kept her mouth shut. You're worried about something that's not worth worrying about, believe me.”
“She said you were alarmed.”
“Well, she's an actress. She lies and tells stories. She exaggerates.” He couldn't look at me. I could tell just from his body language that Jessamine didn't lie. “Anyway, I just wanted to protect you from worrying about it. And…”
“And what?”
He was quiet a moment. “I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to leave me. I don't. I don't want you to leave.”
He looked so lost, so terrified for a moment, it took my breath away. All this time I'd been the one afraid of being sent away. Silly. We belonged together. Didn't we? For now anyway. Stalker or no, I didn't want to live without him. I looked into his eyes. “I won't leave you.”
His gaze left me. He looked over my shoulder and pursed his lips. “They always leave, and you will too.” He looked back at me as if he dared me to disagree. “I mean, you should. This isn't a good life for anybody. But don't leave me yet.” He pulled me close and twisted his fingers in my hair. “I don't want you to go yet.”
Good Friends
Jesus, I was going to kill Jess next time I saw her.
For over a month I'd been hiding the secret from Nell, only to have Jessamine blab it out in the open at the girl's own birthday party.
Happy Birthday, Nell. Someone wants to kill you.
For fuck's sake, why couldn't she keep her mouth shut?
I looked down at Nell fast asleep in my arms. For now I thought I'd smoothed things over, but if she asked to see the Web sites, if she wanted more information…
Jesus fucking Christ.
It had started innocuously enough, a Web site with a fake blog that painted Nell in a decidedly unflattering light. Martin had it taken down fairly quickly, and in truth it had been almost funny with its petty, jealousy-fueled rants.
But another site was fast on its heels, this one not so innocuous as the last. Again we were successful in shutting it down, but another two or three popped up in its place. They were all hosted and maintained by the same person, a woman by the name of Leslie Gray, who was absolutely no relation, although to my horror, I'd recently discovered she believed she was my wife.
I'd done a lot of stupid things when I was drunk and horny, but getting married was something I'd definitely never done. The more Martin learned about Leslie Gray with the help of a private investigator, the less soundly I was able to sleep. The defamatory and vindictive Web sites were one thing, but the correspondence we intercepted was another thing altogether. The scrawled notes were pages-long ravings about what happened to whoring home wreckers. The crazy woman outlined scenarios of how to knock Nell off with the most pain and least chance of being discovered. Was Leslie Gray a danger to Nell? She absolutely was.
But I also believed there was no safer place for Nell to be than with me, for now anyway. While Martin and the police wrangled with the restraining orders, cease-and-desist writs, and other legalities, Nell was relatively sheltered halfway around the world, living in high-security hotels and accompanying me to closed sets. I would have sent her away if it would have been safer for her, but my spotlight was the safest place for her to be.
And she trusted me for some reason. “
I won't leave you
.” I looked down and watched her breathe in and out, my pervy sex girl, so innocent and hapless in sleep. What on earth did I give her to make her trust me, to offer me the loyalty she did? I wanted to kiss her, lick her, wake her up, and make love to her.
Make love to her? Fuck her, anyway.
God, I just really, really didn't want her to leave.
* * *
The next day I left Nell at the hotel and jumped on Jess the moment I saw her on the set.
“You fucking bitch.”
“I'm sorry, Jeremy,” Jess said. “But I can't believe she didn't know! I can't believe you didn't tell her. I really think that's wrong.”
“She doesn't need to know. I'm taking care of it. By the time we get back to the States, this woman will probably have gotten over Nell and moved on.”
“I don't know, she sounds like a pretty deep wack job to me. I don't know that she's just going to get over you and the fact that she wants to kill your girlfriend. Not in the next couple of months anyway.”
“I can take care of it. I can keep Nell safe.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn't take a chance.”
“Well, what do you suggest I do, Jess? Send her back to the States? Let her fend for herself?”
“Break up with her, Jeremy! If you cared at all about her safety, that's what you'd do, as quickly and as publicly as possible! You know how to engineer these things. Tip off the paps, sell them some nice 'fight' pics, and put her on the next plane home—”
“I'm not breaking up with her!”
Jess narrowed her eyes. “I thought so.”
“Oh, Jesus Christ.” I threw up my arms and stalked away, but Jess was at my side like some nagging, unwanted pet.
“If you love her—”
“I
don't
love her!”
“If you like her that much, Jeremy, you have to send her away. Pretend. Let her go to ground and hide, and then you can go back and pick her up sometime down the line, when this fan has moved on to another target!”
I stopped and spun on her. “
I'm
her target, Jess! I'm not going to live alone for the rest of my life so I don't piss off one jealous, unbalanced fan!”
“And what about Nell?” she shot back.
“I told Nell about everything, thanks to you, and she still wants to stay.”
Jess looked at me suspiciously. “You told her
everything
?”
“Everything she needed to know. Anyway, why do you care? Why are you so obsessed with the safety of my little toy, Jessamine?”
“She's not a toy, Jeremy. She's a person.”
“Yes, you should remember that yourself.”
Jess rolled her eyes at me and retreated. By this time in our friendship, we could say a lot to each other between the lines.
“You're the one who needs to remember,” she called out over her shoulder before slamming her trailer door.
* * *