Commitments (17 page)

study it for hints. I might've made it defending you if trial had been in the city, but - I t* divorced?' Derek echoed dumbly. There a buzzing in his head that had nothing to do with Motley Crue cacophony that shielded his conver-with David. ' did you read itz' ' week, week and a half ago.' ell before Sabrina's last visit, Derek realized. did the article say?' was more a little blurb than an article.' uttle blurb, then. What did it say? That they're getting divorced..' Was that it? just that the Nicholas Stones have filed ofor divorce?' ', man, I was just kidding about studying - ' need to know, Dave/ Derek said, his tone softening for the sake of his friend but losing none of its urgency. ' to remember?' David moved his shoulder against the wall and frowned. ' wasn't that big a thing - something to the effect that Stone has become the man-about-town now that his marriage is off. How do you know his wifev The man-about-town. Derek didn, t know whom to be angry at, Sabrina or Nick. ' met a while ago/ he said, speaking Page 60

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

distractedly, his voice -aimed at the floor. ''s been here a couple of times.' ? To Parkersville?' ' 171 Derek looked up. ' that so strange?, ', man. She's la cr@_me de la cr6me. What's she doing here? I ' me/ Derek answered indignantly. He was annoyed that David had so quickly and correctly summed up the situation. But he should have expected it. David was sharp. And honest. Which was why Derek had raised the issue in the first place. ' well do you know her?'David asked. ' not so well as I thought.' ' you think she knows Greer?' Derek felt the hair rise on the back of his neck. '!

'fou sure?' ' it, yes!' ' if you don't know her as well as you thought - ' know her well enough for that/ Derek insisted. ' idea that Greer sent her is absurd!' ''s capable of doing it, Derek. He's tried to kill you more than once. Failing that, he might settle for sending a spy to learn your plans"

".f he did that, it wouldn't be

Sabrina.' ' not? You know how the man works. He finds a person's weakness, then preys on it. Sabrina's marriage is on the'rocks. You say she has a brain-damaged child. There"s a lot going on in her life that a man like Greer could use ...' ''s a strong woman/ Derek interrupted. His eyes were dark, his voice low but vehement. ' she's done could be used for blackmail. Forget it, Dave. No way. And besides, the spy business is a little farfetched. Even the attempted-murder business is a little farfetched. Maybe live imagined the whole thing. Paranoia is rampant in here.' ', but let me tell you, I didn't imagine -what went on with that trial. The deck was stacked. We 172 -,have a chance. It was tight and skillful, what ,. Greer pulled some very solid strings.' couldn't argue with that. ' I don't underis why Greer doesn't just give up on me and go the files.1 the files are the problem, and it's a big if.' is nothing else/Derek said with a quick shake Us head. ''ve been over the last four years of my with a fine-tooth comb, and there-Is nothing else. and I had our differences from the start, but he berserk when he learned I was onto Ballantine. felt threatened, threatened in a big way. It has to the files. I know it does., My friend/ David drawled sadly, ' don't even for sure that those files exist. I'd hate to see you too much store in them., They exist.,

"",'Then the pertinent question is the one you just Why hasn't Greer gone after them himself?' Derek inhaled deeply and shook his head. "He has the resources," David pointed out. ' know.' ' he'd have to do is find them and have them ,, and he'd be safe., ' know.' '

doesn't make sense.' ' me about it/ Derek said dryly, at which point David straightened and slapped his friend on the arm. ', you've got till November to figure it out.' For a minilte, Derek didn't respond. He pictured the calendar on the wall of his cell, pictured the X's he marked through each day of his sentence that had passed, pictured those days left to be marked. Those remaining days could be fewer ... or greater. ' hope that's all I've got, I he said, and felt the 173

familiar pressure begin to gather. Prickles starting deep inside, working their way outward. An itching beneath -the skin. Nervous energy budding from a whine to a cry to a silent scream. Panic in its rawest form. ' - if I'm denied parole?' he asked. ''s no reason why that would happen.' ''s no reason why any of this has happened., He gritted his teeth and repeated the question. ', what if I'm denied parole?' ' won't be.' ''m not sure I could make it if that happened. I think I'd explode inside, burst a blood vessel or something.'He wasn't kidding. David closed a firm hand on his shoulder. ' try not to make the same mistake twice. I played it straight during the trial. I did everything by the book. And I'm not doing anything illegal now, but two can play the game.'His eyes held Derek's, mirroring the confidence that Page 61

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

was in his voice. ''m speaking to people, Derek. I'm setting the scene to make a lot of noise if that parole doesn't come through when it should. Do you remember jilly Devries - the little girl who worked for me a couple of summers ago?' Derek remembered her. She'd been in her third year of law school when she worked for David, and she wasn't that little a girl that Derek hadn't taken her out. She was cute and bright, a little wild, very aggressive. ''s working as counsel for the Department of Corrections,' David went on, ' she has access to figures - figures in New York, Pennsylvania, California, you name it. She gave me the figures for Massachusetts, and I'm letting certain people know I've got them. It's a matter of precedent - how this particular parole board has acted over the past five years. Given 174

your sentence, your record here at Parkers-, your lack of a record elsewhere, your profession go on and on - there's no reason for the board your parole. And if they do, there'll be hell to He paused for a breath. ' media is multi-Greer's network isn't the only one in town. wasn't counting on anything; he'd learned not that; but David's confidence had a calming effect. held up both hands, yielding. vid nodded. '.' He glanced at his watch. run./ Returning to the table, he snapped off the sette. '/ he whispered, '.1 He put the er in his case. ' you need?' It was the. timeworn question. Derek didn't even t to consider it. ' - I Then he caught himself. n second thoughts, got a pen drew one from his briefcase and handed it David er along with a yellow legal pad. On it, Derek wrote e names of Gebhart, Amanda and 1. B. Monroe, then tossed the pad and pencil backinto the case and said edy, 11 want the latest books by each. Any booke should have thern.' David stared at the names on the pad, then stared at Derek.

"Her family?' Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Derek nodded. 11 take it this is important., Derek repeated the nod. ' you know what youre doing, friend? ' do you ask? 11 don't want you hurt/ David said.

"You've got a lot on your mind. Youll have more on your mind when you get out of here. It doesn't matter who you are, why you're here, what's waiting for you when you get out. 175 les gonna be hard at first. Added complications you don't need., ', why didn't I think of that?' David studied Derek for a final minute before closing his briefcase. ', so you've thought of it. But don't say I didn't warn you.' ' send the books, okay?, ' thing, friend.' He took Derek's hand in a firm grip.

"Watch yourself, yhear? I Unfortunately, it wasn't himself Derek had to watch, but everyone else. Second among the unwritten prison rules after Don't Get Involved - was Guard Your Back. To do so meant being, forever cautious, which required concentration, which was fine as long as one's concentration wasn't elsewhere. Unfortunately, over the next few days Derek's concentration was elsewhere. He was trying to figure out why Sabrina hadn't told him she was getting a divorce. He'd always thought he could fathom the female mind with some degree of success, but he couldn't do it now. He supposed he was out of practice. More probably, he realized, he was afraid of what the fathoming would turn UP. Disillusionment was something with which he'd had to contend at an early age. As a boy, promises had been made to him, then broken. He'd idolized a father who had let him down at every turn. His mother had been a creature of high standards and lofty dreams - a lethal combination for a boy who wanted to see results. Derek had learned, therefore, to take promises lightly. He had learned to fully trust no one but himself. He had I become an expert in self-reliance, which had proved its worth many times over during his climb to the top in a cutthroat field. 176 a little disturbing for him to realize that he'd to rely on Sabrinaps straightforwardness. It was than a little disturbing for him to wonder if he It in for a fall. mood went from bad to worse, Page 62

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

from confusion tation to anger, which subsequently clouded his ent. Q

t was why he wasn't prepared when he was ed and dragged into the shadows on his way back his cell after dinner Monday night. The attack n't life-threatening; it didn't involve a knife or er makeshift weapon; nor did it have anything to with Noel Greer. Derek had brought it on himself absently sitting at the wrong table in the dining then not at all absently compounding the error by g too long to move. The beating was administered by, the two body-inmate whose turf he'd violated. Derek's

........ was to fight back, and he had more than enough anger in him to do it with style. But he also *ad some sense. if he yelled or returned punches or did "anything else to attract the attention of the guards, "he'd be disciplined; and if that happened, the parole board would hear. His previous stint in solitary was/ , sole blemish on his record. He aidn't want another. So he didn't make a sound other than the occasional involuntary moan. He didn't take a single swing at his

'opponents, even when their taunts took the form of slurs against his profession, his dead mother and e color of his lawyer's skin. He did little more than try to protect those parts of himself that were more vulnerable than others. Whether he succeeded was questionable. By the time he was left alone, his entire body was screaming in pain. Calling on the last of his battered reserves, he 177 hauled himself up and stumbled to his cell. No one looked at him twice. No one noticed that he was clutching his middle, that blood stained his face, that he was half doubled over and limping. He fell on his cot and, for more than an hour, didn't move. Then, wincing with each breath, he made his painful way down the row of cells, past the common room where a group was watching the baseball game on television, and into the shower room. No one looked, no one saw, no one cared. Clothes and all he stood, shaking badly, under the spray until the pain began to localize. He knew that his left eye and bottom lip were swollen, but his nose had stopped bleeding and didn't seem to be broken. There was pain in the area of his ribs. He assumed held bruised, if not broken, a few, but he could handle that. What bothered him more was his stomach. He prayed that the pain he felt was caused by muscle bruising, rather than internal bleeding, because he had no intention of reporting to the dispensary. - He remembered hearing of an inmate who, after a fight, had lain for days on his cot holding together a gash that should have been stitched. He supposed he could do that, too - if there was a gash to be held. But when he'd completed the excruciating ordeal of peeling off his clothes, he found nothing but badly discoloring flesh. Not knowing whether to be relieved, and feeling distinctly sick to his stomach, he made it back to his cell in time to throw up in the toilet. Then he collapsed on the cot and waited for death. Death didn't come that night or the following morning. And that afternoon, shortly after three, it wasn't death that came, but Sabrina. Derek would have been better prepared for death. 178

rinals appearance took him totally off guard. It not Thursday, and after Tuesday, for one thing way she'd run off the week before, he hadn't her to show at all. For another thing, he It know if he wanted to see her. He was still s that she'd been less than forthright with him, he blamed that fury on the distraction that had sed his lapse in the dining room, which in turn had d the beating that was responsible for his present . Which led him to the last point - that he wasn't e he wanted her to see him. He looked awful. '?' demanded the house guard who'd notified of her arrival. ''s waiting in the yard. Are you or not Derek hadn't moved a muscle,. partly because he It ow if he should and partly because he didn't ow if he could. Sheer. grit had enabled him to ggle through his work assignment, but the effort drained him. He hadn't made it to any meals since "dinner the night before. The thought of moving was nearly as painful as the deed itself. @Y - ''ll it be, Mcgill?" Carefully, Derek maneuvered his legs over the side of the cot and sat up. He took several shallow breaths, then pushed himself to his feet. Page 63

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Straightening his shoulders, he set off. Pure determination kept him walking. He had a thing or two to tell Sabrina Stone, and the sooner he said them the better off he'd be. He wasn't a plaything. ' wasn't a spectacle or a novelty. And he wasn't a man to be lied to. if she couldn't come clean and accept that, she could just stay the hell away. In fact, staying the hell away wasn't such a bad idea, he decided. He didn't need her. David was right: she was an unnecessary complication. What in the hell 179 good was she doing him - besides stirring him up and then walking away? Past the row of cells, down a flight of stairs, out the door, along a lengthy path - he plodded on. His anger helped: it kept his spine stiff and his pace remarkably steady. Something happened, though, when he reached the visiting yard and caught sight of Sabrina standing by a tree with her back to him. Anger fled. His heart started pounding. He struggled to swallow. He felt - though he didn't understand it, because he couldn't remember the last time he'd done it - as though he were going to cry. Then she turned and he knew he couldn't cry. On top of everything else, the humiliation would have been too much. So he steadied himself, sucked a stream of air into his lungs, held it there and sauntered forward. Sabrina stared. Her eyes widened with each step he took, and by the time he was standing an arm's length away, she had lost what little ' she'd had. ' Godv she cried hoarsely. rwhat happened?' All he wanted to do was take her in his arms, hold her and weep, and he couldn't do any of it. ' walked into a wall/ he said in the somewhat weak and grainy voice that had been his since the beating.