It was necessary to take a deep breath to calm himself, and much of the frustration remained even afterward. He really wanted to remember the most glorious moment of his life, and maybe after some time had passed he’d be able to. In the meanwhile he’d removed every trace of blood from his clothing, and had buried the knife on the Weil estate in a place only he would be able to return to.
After all, he’d probably need the weapon again, and the second time he’d
certainly
remember…
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Who has the visitor at the door come to see?” Jovvi asked the servant who’d come out to the garden. By rights I should have been the one to ask, since it was still my house; but I’d somehow gotten the idea that if I didn’t bring myself to the world’s attention by speaking, the visitor would turn out to be someone other than my father. And to make matters even worse, Vallant Ro had seemed about to approach me again. I wasn’t
quite
up to the point where I would rather face my father than speak to the tall, blond ex-sea captain, but I had the sinking feeling that that point was not very far away.
“The caller at the door and his companions have asked for Dom Coll,” the servant answered, looking around at the men. It became clear then that he didn’t know which of them Lorand was, and that’s why he’d made a general announcement. He was one of the extra servants put on by the testing authority to keep the residence running smoothly, and I didn’t know his name either.
Everyone but Lorand relaxed at hearing the answer, and for a brief moment that included me. But then I realized that I was still in danger of needing to deal with Vallant Ro again, so I made the fastest decision of my life. Putting my teacup back down on the table took only an instant, and then I hurried over to a still-hesitating Lorand before Vallant Ro could cut off my escape.
“It might not be that former friend of yours again,” I said softly to Lorand, looking up at his expressionless face. “But in case it is, why don’t I go with you again?”
“You wouldn’t mind?” he asked at once, partial relief filling his dark and pretty eyes. “I know Hat needs my help, but I can’t give it to him yet—and I really hate having to admit it.”
“What makes his refusal to accept reality something
you
have to feel guilty about?” I asked, honestly curious. “Did you do anything to cause him to be like that? Are you responsible for his having failed the test?”
“The answer to both questions is no, but it also isn’t quite that simple,” he replied, gesturing vaguely with one hand. “Hat is my friend, and you owe help to a friend if you’re in a position to give it. I know he’d do the same for me.”
“Somehow I doubt that, but I don’t know the man as well as you do,” I granted him, then gestured toward the house. “Well, shall we go to see if it really is him?”
Lorand’s nod was a bit on the reluctant side, but he still began to move toward the house with me. He also still held his brandy glass, so I took it from him gently, gave it to the servant stationed near the house, and asked the man to put it on the table. Lorand was a big man and obviously very capable, but in this instance I had the definite feeling that he needed protection as well as support. The idea of
me
protecting a man his size was laughable, but somehow that laughter felt extremely good.
The servant who had announced the “callers” led the way back through the house to the front door, which had been closed again with the visitors still on the outside. That made me wonder about what they must be like, but I didn’t have to wonder long. The servant opened the door to reveal Lorand’s friend Hat—looking more disreputable than the first time—flanked by two husky men who simply looked dangerous.
“That’s him,” Hat said at once, pointing a trembling finger at Lorand. “He’s the one who’s responsible, so talk to
him
.”
“Responsible for what?” Lorand asked in confusion. “Hat, what’s going on?”
“Guess that shows he knows ’im,” one of the husky men said, obviously speaking to the other, then he continued to Hat, “But you ain’t off th’ hook yet, shorty, so don’t try t’disappear thinkin’ I won’t be lookin’. Now you c’n tell the man how much he owes us.”
“What does he mean, how much
I
owe him?” Lorand demanded of a Hat who seemed to be groping for words—and who also seemed to be looking for a chance to run. “What did you tell these men?”
“Just the truth,” Hat finally responded, sounding both defensive and aggressive as he wiped his mouth on the back of one grime-covered hand. “Those tests for High are fixed so that only one applicant is accepted at a time, so we agreed that that one would be you. In return you’re supposed to be responsible for any … debts I incur while I wait for
my
chance, and now you have to pay up. I owe these men two gold dins, but you might as well make it three. I’ll need something to live on for the few days before I go to pass the test myself.”
“That’s your idea of the truth?” I asked in outrage as Lorand just stared at the man open-mouthed. “At least your claims are more logical this time, but they’re still just as ridiculous. When are you going to grow up enough to admit that you didn’t delay taking the test, you failed it? And even if they gave people second chances normally, you’d still be too late. Everyone able to qualify for the competitions has already done so, and after this week’s end no one will even be allowed to try. All the testing is over for the year, and won’t start again until after the competitions.”
“No, that isn’t true!” the small man shouted hoarsely, a wild look now in his eyes. “I’m going to test again in just a few days, and this time I’ll pass! You don’t know anything about it, slut, so why don’t you just go back to codding Lorand the way you’re supposed to, and the rest of the time keep your mouth shut!”
“Hat!” Lorand barked while my cheeks flamed red over the disgusting man’s language. “You know better than to talk to a lady like that, and Tamrissa is a lady! She also happens to be one of the successful applicants in this house, so you’d
better
watch your mouth. Since you obviously can’t read or can’t see what her identification says, I’ll mention that her aspect is Fire.”
The two husky men paled and took a step back, which probably meant they
couldn’t
read. Hat looked nervous as he tried to focus on my identification card, but he still seemed to be too full of alcohol to manage the feat. He shook his head a little, possibly to clear it, then looked at Lorand again with the belligerence back stronger than ever.
“What difference does it make
what
her aspect is?” he demanded. “She isn’t allowed to do anything to me, so I won’t let her get away with lying. And I won’t let
you
get away with it either. You said you’d give me money, so I want those three gold dins
now
.”
“I said I’d help you all I could
when
I could,” Lorand corrected, his voice now stiffer than it had been. “I never agreed to pay your gambling debts, and it
isn’t
my fault that you failed the test. Telling yourself fairy tales won’t change the truth of the world, Hat, and you’d know that if you ever let yourself sober up. Right now all I have is silver, and barely enough for my own needs. If I start to win during the preliminary competitions that will change, but until then I guess I can spare one silver din—”
“Charity!” Hat snarled, then he spit. “
That
for your charity, when you
know
how much you owe me! Keep your codding charity, I don’t want it or need it! In a couple of days
I’ll
be qualifying for all those competitions, and then
you
can come crawling to
me
! But he’s still the one who owes you that gold, Meerk, so get it from
him
or forget about it. I made a deal in good faith, and
I
mean to stick to it!”
With that he turned and pushed between the two big men, then stalked away up the drive. He ignored the hired carriage standing near the steps, and the two men he’d been with watched him go with frowns on their faces. Then they turned back to Lorand, and Meerk, the one who’d done the previous talking, nodded.
“Just when’s all this gold comin’ t’ya?” he asked, inspecting Lorand with his gaze. “I ain’t gonna wait long, so you better come up with it real fast like.”
“Why are you making it sound as if I’m the one who owes it to you?” Lorand asked with his own frown. “Hat’s apparently been drunk ever since he failed the test, which hasn’t helped him to accept the truth. I told him I’d give him as much of a hand as I could and that still goes, but—”
“Look, jobby, I don’t care
what
th’ truth is,” Meerk interrupted, his dark, dull eyes unmoving from Lorand’s face. “That chump who just left owes me gold, an’ if I can’t get it from him then I’ll get it from
you
. If I don’t, then maybe you won’t be in any
shape
t’be in them competitions, get what I mean? You think about it, an’ I’ll be back.”
The two men stopped staring at Lorand darkly and turned to leave, heading for the waiting carriage. The way they’d acted had disturbed me, but Lorand’s behavior disturbed me more.
“Why didn’t you tell them not to be absurd?” I asked as he began to close the door, the expression on his face distantly troubled. “
You
don’t owe them a thing, so there’s no reason for them to come back here. And if that’s the way a friend is supposed to behave, I’m glad I never had any.”
“Hat’s not normally like this, and the trouble he’s in is worse than anything he’s been in before,” Lorand answered, sounding distant and disturbed. “But he’s still a friend, and I don’t believe in abandoning friends when they’re in trouble. If I don’t pay off his debt those two might kill him, since it’s perfectly obvious that
he’ll
never be able to pay it off. I’ll just have to … make sure I do win the gold.”
“Lorand, what world are you living in?” I couldn’t help asking, well beyond exasperation. “You claim you don’t believe in abandoning a friend in trouble, but you’re doing all this for someone who
brought
you trouble, then walked away leaving you to cope with it alone. And no matter what those two said, they won’t kill the idiot. At worst they’ll beat him up and then force him to take a job, so what you’re really saving him from is having to pay for his stupidity with a little pain and a lot of sweat. If you don’t believe that pain teaches a very thorough lesson about what not to do again, just ask
me
about it.”
“I know you’re right, Tamrissa, but there’s nothing I can do to change matters,” he said with a sigh as he patted my hand. “Hat
isn’t
behaving the way a friend should, but that doesn’t give me the right to be just as uncaring. I have to help him if I can, but at this point it’s more for my own benefit than his.
I
don’t want to forget how a friend is supposed to behave.”
“I think I understand now why there are so many nasty people in this world,” I replied with my own sigh. “Being nice lets too many people take advantage of you. Well, all I can do at this point is say that if
I
win any gold in the preliminary competitions, I’ll help you pay them off.”
“Now
that’s
what I call being a friend,” he said with a laugh, then his smile softened as he gently touched my face. “Thank you, friend Tamrissa, for disapproving of what I’m doing but supporting me anyway. In turn I’ll try not to need your help, but it still feels good to know the offer is there. Shall we go back to the others now?”
“We might as well,” I agreed, returning his smile as I took his arm. “And you’re right:
being
a friend does feel awfully good, no matter
how
dumb your friend’s behavior is. I’ll have to remember that.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been insulted so nicely before,” he said, laughing again as we retraced our steps to the back of the house. “But if a friend isn’t entitled to insult you, who else is?”
We discussed that point as we walked outside, but Lorand’s laughter wasn’t fooling me. He was still upset about what had happened, and there was nothing I could do to make things better for him. I was beginning to learn that it was possible to give people pain in ways that weren’t physical, but had no idea how to cope with it. People tend to defend themselves from physical pain, but with the emotional kind…
The refreshment table held Lorand’s brandy glass and my teacup, so we each retrieved our possessions before Lorand went off to tell Jovvi about what had happened. I stood and sipped my cooled tea, simply glad it was over, then abruptly discovered that
that
conclusion was extremely premature. Vallant Ro was once again heading straight for me, and this time there was no possibility of escape.
I finished the tea in my cup in a single gulp, then turned to pour myself more. It was the oddest thing, but after the time I’d spent in Rion’s bedchamber I now found taking Lorand’s arm and holding it tightly not in the least difficult. But for some reason facing Vallant Ro was harder, and speaking to him seemed one step below torture. I would have run to hide if I could have, but something told me he’d simply follow.
“Tamrissa, I’d like to speak to you for another moment,” he said from behind me while I spooned sugar into my tea. “I promise not to intrude long, but something has been disturbin’ me and I’d like to discuss it with you.”
“I think I know just how you feel,” I muttered, paying very little attention to what I did with the tea, then abruptly decided on surrender. If I simply stood there and let him have his say, the torture would hopefully soon be over.
“All right, I’ll listen,” I said in a tone loud enough for him to hear as I took my tea and turned to face him. “Just please make it brief.”
“As best I can,” he agreed with a small bow. I couldn’t help noticing again how marvelous he looked in his practice clothes, how broad-shouldered and slim-hipped. My cheeks warmed as I found myself trying to remember how he looked without them, his platinum hair falling loose about his shoulders and those light blue eyes staring directly at me…