Condemn Me Not (20 page)

“And
all my friends made fun of me?”

“Yes,”
she replied, a small sigh escaping as she recalled the countless times Rebecca
would jump inside the car, slam the door and command,
Let’s go—before anyone
sees me
!  Caught off guard by the memory, Claire replied, “I’m sorry, but—”

“You
said it was because you loved me,” Rebecca spoke over her.  “You said it was
because you loved me so much, and you didn’t want anything to happen to me.”

Tears
pricked her eyes.  “I did.  I do,” Claire corrected.  She cupped Rebecca’s chin
and gave a gentle squeeze.  “So much.”

“When
I asked why other kids my age didn’t have to ride in them, you said it was
because you loved me more than they loved their kids.”

“I
said
maybe
that was why,” Claire countered with a light tug to her chin,
mildly embarrassed by the retort.

“Whatever. 
It worked.  I believed you.  It wasn’t until Jimmy told one of his friends who
told their mom—”

“Who
called me on it right there at the front of the pick-up line,” Claire finished,
chuckling softly.  The memory swept through her chest like a billowy cloud of
nerves and pleasure.  One afternoon, one of her close friends was standing
outside the car while she sat in the pickup line, waiting for dismissal.  Jimmy
climbed into his seat and strapped on his belt as usual, and her friend’s son stepped
up onto the running board of her SUV and peered inside.  “Jimmy still rides in
a car seat?” he inquired ever so innocently.

Claire
had to silence her immediate reaction:  
Leave him be.
 
He’s only nine
and barely grazing sixty pounds
.  But it was her friend’s comment that
truly merited her silence.

Standing
behind her boy, she announced, “I hear Mrs. Atkins loves her children more than
the other parents and that’s why they still ride in car seats.”  Her friend winked,
ensuring Claire all was forgiven, but Claire had felt absolutely mortified. 
Busted
.

“I
remember it well,” she said to Rebecca.

Rebecca
leveled her gaze.  “It meant that you were a good mom.  We were always your
first priority and we knew it.”

Tears
careened into Claire’s eyes as she smiled.

“Why
are you crying?”

“I
always cry, remember?  Movies, commercials, sweet sappy Hallmark cards.”

Rebecca
rolled her eyes.  “Oh, yeah...”

How
quickly they forget, Claire mused.  Struck by the unwelcome thought, she
stilled.  Is this what it’s going to be like when she moves to Paris?  Halfway
across the world, would Rebecca forget the little details of home?  The special
idiosyncrasies of family?

Folding
hands in her lap, Claire fought the anxiety unfurling within her.  She didn’t
want to lose her daughter to distance and time.  She wanted to tie her down and
keep her close—within hugging distance.  But she couldn’t.  Wouldn’t.

Feeling
for the missing ring on her finger, Claire thought about all she had invested,
all she stood to lose should her daughter move away and never look back.  In a
fleeting rush to escape the fear, Claire assured herself Rebecca wasn’t that
girl.  She wasn’t the child to fly out of the nest, never to return.  She
offered to stay, didn’t she?  That had to mean something.

“It’ll
be okay,” Claire whispered, drawing Rebecca’s full attention.  “I promise you,
it will be okay.”

SIMONE

Dressed
in black slacks and gray striped button down, his bright paisley tie loosened
at the collar as though he were finished for the day, Mitchell strolled into Simone’s
office.  While he looked right at home amongst the professional black chairs,
the line of diplomas and awards on the wall, the blocks of city outside the
windows, his unannounced arrival sparked concern.  Seated at her desk, a slew
of files and papers arranged before her, Simone stared at him.  Did he just
arrive by plane?  Had he been home yet?  Her pulse fired through her veins.  Her
husband rarely stopped by her office.  She smacked her pen down.  “Mitchell—is something
wrong?”

He
came around and pulled her up, the familiar spice cologne still clinging to him
at this late hour of the day.  “I’ve been doing some thinking,” he said, his
tone quiet, supple, wholly unsuited for the office environment.

“Thinking?” 
Simone’s brain thrashed through possible meanings, potential problems, issues
that needed resolution.  What could Mitchell be thinking that warranted a trip to
her office, four o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon?

“Thinking,”
he said, “that maybe you’re right about Ray holding the fort while I’m in
Chicago.”  He smiled and his quick grin nearly stole her breath away.  “This is
your big chance and I want to be there for you.  You deserve it and besides,”
he said, cocking his head to one side, “how can I stay away from that smile of
yours?”

Simone’s
knees grew weak.

Mitchell
pulled her close, his gaze twinkling with delight.  “I can’t.”

She
shook her head, a mix of pleasure and confusion gathering deep in her belly.  “You
were gone three days, Mitchell.”

He
pecked her lips.  “Three days that felt like an eternity.”

Simone
smiled involuntarily and felt heat rise to her cheeks.  “But Mitchell, you
don’t have to get Ray to cover for you.”

“What? 
You don’t want me to come now?”

“No.”

His
expression fell.  He dropped his hands from her waist as his hazel eyes colored
in disappointment.  “Something else happen in those three days I should know
about?”

Simone
suppressed a swell of nerves.  “I turned the promotion down.”

“You
what
?  Because of me?”  Mitchell raked a hand through his brown hair and
ducked his head in shame.  “Oh, babe, I’m sorry,” he said, then seized her by
the shoulders.  “Call Len back.  Let him know you’ll take it.  It was a weak
moment.  Blame it on your husband.  Blame it on—”

Amused
by his panic, she put a finger to his lips, effectively silencing him.  “It’s
not because of you,” Simone informed softly.  “It’s because of Mariah.”

“Mariah?” 
He pulled back and dropped a hand to her desk.  “Oh hell—what’s she done now?”

“Nothing.” 
Simone shrugged.  “Nothing other than act like a headstrong eighteen-year-old
girl, anyway.”

Mitchell
blew out a sigh, stress oozing from his limbs.  He held a hand to his
forehead.  “You lost me.”

“I
can’t move to Chicago when she needs me here.”

Comprehension
was like a slow match, lighting his expression from deep within.  Mitchell slowly
lowered his hand, rolled a glance around the spacious office, the bank of
windows crammed with a view of commercial buildings until finally settling on
her eyes as he completely absorbed the statement.  “Are you sure?”

Simone
nodded.

Mitchell’s
eyes crinkled at the corners as he pulled her to him.  “You are amazing, you
know that?”

Desire
tingled and a small smile returned to her lips.  Simone fought the awkwardness
of intimacy in the confines of her public domain as emotion swirled through
her.  She didn’t feel amazing.  She felt confused, concerned, anxious and even
a little scared.  Tears pushed behind her eyes.  But
amazing
?

“You
are the best mother on planet Earth.”  Locking her within his hold, Mitchell kissed
her gently on the lips.  “And the most incredible wife.”  He kissed her again, humming
his mouth over hers.  “A man couldn’t ask for better.”

Although
Simone didn’t quite feel it in her heart, she liked hearing him say the words
all the same.  She liked having him kiss her this way.

With
measured reluctance, Mitchell pulled away.  He hitched a hip onto the corner of
her desk and maneuvered Simone to stand between his legs.  Running fingers
through her hair, he combed it away from her face, as though being reunited
with a lover after a long absence.  He scrutinized her features, lingered on
her mouth.  “Do you know how much I love you?”

Simone
nodded and settled her hands upon his thighs.  She thought she knew.  They were
married, happily so.  Of course he loved her.

“And
not
because
you gave up your promotion, but in spite of it.”

“In
spite of it?”  She looked at him sharply.  Now he wasn’t making any sense.

“Your
ambition is one of the things I love most about you.”

“It
is?” Simone asked, confusion sprinkling through her mind.

“Yes.” 
He grinned.  “You are so determined.  Not only is your career important to you,
but you excel at what you do, and that achievement radiates from every inch of
you.”  Mitchell slid his hand beneath her hair, down either side of her neck.  His
richly scented cologne enveloped her senses as he held her close.  “Your drive makes
you
exciting
.  I find you more attractive because you’re always on the
go, always on the verge of something big, and then something bigger.”

She
laughed, making light of his praise.  “Well, that
is
the goal.”

“It
is.”  Mitchell paused, as though savoring her.  “But watching you makes me want
you all the more.  You don’t stop.  You’re like a powerhouse in motion, a
living, breathing thrill.  There’s always something new around the corner—I can
never predict what you’re going to do next.”  He nuzzled his nose to hers. 
“And I don’t want to.  I want to be surprised.”  Mitchell kissed her again. 
“You’re my equal, my other half.”  He nibbled at her lips and Simone’s insides
melted with joy.  “You complete me both mentally and emotionally.  Where would
I be without you?”  He kissed the tip of her nose.  “I’d be nowhere.  Nowhere.”

This
time when Mitchell kissed her, Simone forgot she was in her office, forgot her
rules of decorum when it came to public displays of affection.  She succumbed. 
Her door was open.  Any number of employees could walk by and see she was
making out with her husband!

But
who cared.  Simone slid her arms around his waist and pressed into him.  His mouth
turned demanding as he held her head to his, drenching her mouth with his in a
passionate show of desire, of want.  Mitchell kissed her with the force of
love, the tenderness of a husband, the desire of a man.  He was hers, and she
was his.

And
Mariah was theirs.  They were a family, a unit.  They were what mattered, what
made the difference between success on paper and reward in life.

Losing
herself to the man she adored, Simone knew she couldn’t live without Mitchell. 
She couldn’t live without her daughter.  A world filled with fortune and fame held
no interest if it lacked love and support.  She wanted a life partner to share
her success.  She wanted her family to share in her fulfillment.  Without
Mitchell and Mariah waiting at the top, the ladder of success wasn’t worth
climbing.

# # #

Simone
lifted the heavy pewter frame from the sofa table, the metal cold and solid in
her hands.  Easing into a lean against the curved edge of the sofa table, she
took in the smiling face.  It was taken on Mariah’s sixteenth birthday, the
shot capturing her in a close-up as she opened a gift from her parents. 
Instinctively, Simone wanted to brush the hair from her daughter’s eyes, Mariah’s
casual hairstyle hip, but a nuisance, forever falling in front of her face. 
But even partially obscured, her green eyes revealed her shock and pleasure.  She
had been mesmerized by the diamond pendant.  It was the first real piece of
jewelry she could call her own.

It
was Mitchell’s idea.  He’d said his daughter needed her first diamond, and he
wanted it to come from them.  Simone agreed.  Their daughter was growing up,
blossoming into a beautiful young woman and it was time she enjoyed the
trinkets of beauty, especially those bestowed upon her with love.  And how
could it be more appropriate than it come from her father?  Oh, Mitchell
included Simone’s name on the card, but Mariah knew he picked it out.  He had
meticulous taste, distinctive taste.  He liked clean lines, elegant settings
and impeccable stones.

Simone
glanced at the ring on her left hand.  The layer of emerald cut diamonds
sparkled as she moved it to and fro.  Even in the dim lighting of her living
room, it was exquisite.  Mitchell had the set custom-designed, the wedding
bands made to fit snugly around the single diamond that was her engagement
ring.  Simone returned her gaze to the photo, the diamond around Mariah’s neck. 
The colorless diamond had been pricey, but that smile her daughter wore when
Mitchell secured it around her neck was worth every penny.

“Taking
a trip down memory lane?”

Simone
jumped.  Gripping the hard edges of the picture frame, she turned toward Mariah.
 “I didn’t hear you come in,” Simone said, heart thumping beneath her ribs.

Looking
at the photograph, Mariah said, “That was one of the best days of my life.”