Confessed (Vargas Cartel #3) (8 page)

Chapter Twelve

Ryker

Everything moved in slow motion as Hattie’s body rose out of the water like Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Like so many times since I first saw her, I struggled not to reach out and touch her.

The muted light of the bathroom highlighted her golden eyes. They glimmered like twin gemstones. Water dripped from the tips of her pink nipples. For a spine-tingling second, her unassuming seductive beauty immobilized me. She looked fragile with the faint bruise staining her cheek, but at the same time, I couldn’t remember a moment when I wanted her more. I never wanted to forget the love and trust vibrating from her when I finally destroyed us.

I shuddered the instant she wrapped her arms around me. The recriminations in my head quieted to a dull hum. I sucked in a breath, scrambling to find the will to stop this. All the reasons I needed to let her go floated through my mind, but like tendrils of smoke I couldn’t latch onto any of them. It all came down to one thing: I was bad for her. If I kept her in my life, the days she’d spent as a prisoner of the Alvarez Cartel would pale in comparison to a lifetime in the web of the Vargas Cartel.

I’d trade my soul to the devil to go back in time and change the way things unfolded, but it wasn’t possible. I had to make the best decision for Hattie based on the facts, and the best decision was to send her away. I needed to force her out of my life even if the thought alone cleaved my heart in two. I didn’t see any other way.

My fingers ghosted over the burn marks on her arm and her eyelids fluttered. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Her lips feathered across mine and electricity shot down my spine. I bit back a groan. Dammit, she was hard to refuse—more so now than the first time I met her. My need for her grew every day.

She rested her forehead against mine. “The only way you could hurt me is by leaving me,” she said, her eyes glistening.

My throat tightened at the soft tenor in her voice. My soul devoured her words even though she was wrong. Leaving her was the only way to stop the pain and prevent future heartache, but when she looked at me with love shining from her eyes, reality and desire blurred.

“Hattie,” I whispered, my voice like gravel on glass. It sounded like a benediction mixed with a curse. Half dark. Half light. It captured my character, my life, and my future perfectly.

She flicked open the buttons of my shirt, one after another, and pushed it off my shoulders. She licked her lower lip and my entire body trembled. I wanted her, but my desire for her didn’t stop the guilt from wrapping around my chest like a vice. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t touch her, but with every brush of her fingertips, my resistance evaporated faster than rain on hot asphalt.

Her fingertips coasted over the rectangular bandage on my ribs. It concealed the knife wound inflicted by Enrique Alvarez.

“What happened?”

“A small cut,” I hissed as her hand pressed against the bandage. “Nothing you need to worry about. I’ll be fine.”

“Good. I don’t want to be gentle.” She opened the button of my pants, and I forgot everything but the sound of her breath next to my ear and the soft slide of her lips against my neck. In the blink of an eye, I had convinced myself we could share this last moment before real life bashed us over the head and demolished everything we’d worked so hard to build over the last few months. It was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to fight this any more than I wanted let her go. There’d be plenty of time to sort this out tomorrow.

Groaning, I shoved my pants and boxer briefs down my legs and climbed into the tub with her. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped her legs around my waist. She smelled like soap, shampoo, sunshine, and everything Hattie. I ached to fill her again and make her believe in me, in us, no matter how fleeting the emotion.

“God, Hattie. You have no idea how much I missed you,” I said, resting my forehead against hers.

Hot steam swirled around our bodies, cocooning us in a world where only the two of us existed. I cupped her breasts, and she arched into me. Heat surged through my nerve endings making every point of contact between our bodies flame to life.

“Show me,” she moaned.

Leaning back, my cock slid along her slippery sex. My last shred of common sense fled, and my mouth crashed against hers. Her tongue captured mine within seconds, and we devoured each other. My head spun from her familiar taste. Stopping was no longer an option. My muscles pulled tight like the string of a bow and sweat beaded on my forehead from the heat of the water. Urgency coursed through my veins like my soul knew this might be the last time I’d ever hold her.

The last time she looked at me as her savior.

The last time she surrendered to me unconditionally.

The last time she loved me.

If I concentrated hard enough, I could almost hear the minute hand of our life together counting down to the end of us. Maybe time had conspired against us from the first moment her beautiful golden eyes landed on mine.

Reverently, my hands cupped her breasts and then skated along her ribcage to her waist. Her back arched in invitation, and I had to taste more of her. I sucked her nipple in between my teeth. A gasp exploded out of her mouth, and I grazed her sensitive skin with my teeth.

“Ryker,” she moaned, and I switched my attention to her other breast.

Licking.

Sucking.

Biting.

Showing her that this moment was about pleasure and pain, rather than just pleasure because, for me, that was exactly how it felt.

Pleasure that I could touch her one final time.

Pain that I had to let her go.

Within minutes, her entire body tensed like a coiled spring, vibrating with need as she rode the edge right along with me. Erotic whimpers tumbled from her mouth one after another until they blended into a symphony punctuating every lick, bite, suck and swivel of my hips. Desire and need hummed through my veins like morphine.

I couldn’t wait another minute.

I had to be inside of her.

I had to feel the perfection of us.

I captured her mouth with a mind-drugging kiss. Every flick and roll of my tongue told her without words that I belonged to her even if I couldn’t be with her.

Her hand snaked between our bodies and circled my length, sliding up and down in slow, lazy strokes. A desperate moan spilled from my mouth. Fuck that felt good. I closed my eyes and rocked my hips, but it wasn’t enough.

The pads of my fingers trailed down her waist, following the line of her body to her sex. Simultaneous groans tumbled from our mouths as I slid my finger inside of her. I moved in and out of her slick entrance.

“Do you like that?” I asked even though I knew she did. She was flushed and trembling. Her chest heaved with every breath.

“God yes,” she mumbled as her water-kissed lashes fluttered closed.

Her moans grew louder and louder with every pass of my fingers. Her facial expressions reprioritized my thoughts until I was hyper focused on her and her only.

Her parted lips.

Her heavy eyelids.

Her glowing skin.

She couldn’t have looked more beautiful if she tried.

Just as her muscles contracted around my fingers, I pulled my hand away.

“No,” she whispered, her pupils dilated.

“Shh. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” I lifted her hips and pressed the head of my cock against her sex, sliding it back and forth. “I want to be inside you when you come.”

“Mm.” She nodded as she bit down on her lower lip. Her gaze dropped as I lowered her hips, her lips kicking up into a hedonistic smile.

“See,” I said as lowered her slowly, watching until I disappeared inside of her. I felt like I was home again. No matter what happened she’d always belong to me and I’d belong to her.

A shaky exhalation whizzed through her lips, and I held my breath trying to control the need to claim her like a man possessed. I counted the seconds, giving her time to get used to me.

One.

Two.

Three.

And then, her walls clenched around my shaft, and my entire body shuddered. I didn’t even need to move to be on the verge of exploding.
Fuck it
. I bucked my hips up and down in time with her, and her breasts bounced. I clenched my jaw, trying to stave off the lust roaring like a ball of fire through my body.

My hands bit into her hips, and we rolled together. Water splashed over the rim of the tub. Her golden skin flushed pink. Her nipples hardened into tight raspberry buds that made my mouth water. Our jagged breaths echoed off the marble tiles.

Her body undulated as my fingers dug into her hips. I gave her everything I had. Going slow wasn’t an option. I forced us higher and higher until it felt like we were flying in a blur of bliss. Pleasure built at the base of my spine and static buzzed in my ears. I desperately needed to come, but I wouldn’t go without her. If this was our last time together, I wanted her to remember it.

I reached between her legs, rubbing energetic circles on her clit. Her movements became frenzied. Then, her muscles tensed, and a scream tore from her lips. I couldn’t stop my orgasm if someone had a gun pressed to my head. My muscles knotted, and I tipped over the edge with her. Satisfaction mixed with the emotional pain of goodbye ripped down my spine. My groans wrapped around her pleasure-laced cries.

When our orgasms faded, I lifted her out of the tub and carried her back to my bed.

I tucked her damp hair behind her ears. “Now you can sleep.”

Smiling lazily, her hand clamped around my waist. “Stay until I fall asleep. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I need you.”

My heart squeezed and despite my better judgment, I crawled in next to her. The minute my head hit the pillow, the last five days slammed into me like a wrecking ball. More than ever, I regretted the need to force Hattie out of my life, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to break her heart. I just hoped I’d be able to make it up to her somehow.

I lay quietly, bone deep tiredness claiming my limbs. My body begged me to sleep. I closed my eyes and drew her into my arms, my hard thighs pressing into her back and one arm possessively positioned around her waist. I promised myself I’d do what needed to be done tomorrow. Right now, Hattie was safe, and she was still mine. That’s all that mattered.

Chapter Thirteen

Hattie

The heavy coffee colored wood door to the bedroom opened. The hinges whined.

“Miss Covington, are you awake?” Ignacio asked, peeking inside.

I yanked the sheets up to my neck. “Yes.”

I couldn’t find my suitcase or anything belonging to me, so I put on one of Ryker’s t-shirts about an hour ago. The lack of adequate clothing kept me from roaming the house. I kept thinking Ryker would come to check on me any minute, but he hadn’t.

“Good,” Ignacio said, opening the door fully and walking to the foot of the bed. “Ryker arranged for a doctor to come to my house and check on you.” He pointed toward the opening. “This is Dr. Mendez. He’s a good friend of the family. He’ll take care of you.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as an older man entered the room, holding a black leather bag in one hand and a gray rectangular case in the other. “Nice to meet you.” The doctor smiled, revealing intricate webs lining the corners of his eyes.

“Mucho gusto,”
he answered with a quick nod of his head.

Ignacio shifted on his feet. “I don’t anticipate any language issues. Dr. Mendez speaks English, but I can stay if you’d like.”

Heat flooded my face, and my stomach flipped. I didn’t know if Ryker told him about the pregnancy, but I didn’t want him to find out this way. “No. I think I’ll be okay.”

“All right.” Ignacio’s shoes clipped over the tiled floor as he walked toward the door.

“Wait.” I sat up and rested my elbows on my knees. “Can you send Ryker in? He’d want to be here.”

Rubbing his hand along his jaw, his eyes met mine, then flicked away just as quickly. “He’s not here right now.”

“Oh.” My stomach plummeted, and my fingers curled into the creamy white sheets until they strangled the circulation to my fingers. One more twist and I’d rip a hole in them. “Can you call him? I’d feel more comfortable if he were here. I’d do it myself, but I don’t have a phone. I lost it when everything happened. Is there a phone in…?” My voice trailed off, and I licked my lower lip.

I was rambling. Ignacio knew it. I knew it. The freaking doctor knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself. I felt like one of those colorful betta fish alone in a glass bowl. Both of them stared at me like I was about to snap. Maybe I was.

“He told me to tell you he’d be unavailable for the majority of the day. He said he’ll catch up with you tonight sometime.”

I blinked repeatedly as I struggled to fend off the tears burning in the corners of my eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ignacio sighed. “Miss Covington—”

“Hattie,” I shouted. “You know my name. You don’t have to pretend like we’re strangers. I’ve been here before. Tell me what’s going on!”

I didn’t understand why I said it. Truly, I didn’t care what Ignacio called me. I didn’t care if I ever saw him again. I hated him. In a roundabout way, his greed and corruption resulted in me becoming a hostage twice—once by him and once by the Alvarez Cartel. As far as I was concerned, he could jump off a cliff. I wouldn’t shed a single tear.

Ignacio rocked back and forth on his heels, and the doctor’s gaze ping-ponged back and forth between the two of us. He didn’t even try to hide his surprise. I guess most people didn’t talk to Ignacio like that given his penchant for murdering people.

“Hattie.” Ignacio cleared his throat. “This is a conversation you should have with Ryker. It’s not my place.”

“But you know something, right?”

“All I’m going to say is that he won’t be back for a while. Beyond that, you’ll have to talk to him directly. It’s not my place.”

I shivered, trying to ward off the sudden chill racing down my spine despite the balmy breeze from the open windows. I stared at the woven ceiling fan as it rotated in slow circles. A faint buzz hummed through the room.

I’d hoped Ryker would want to spend the day with me. I needed him, more now than ever. I was scared out of my mind about so many things, but now I feared he planned to abandon me. Ignacio had never held his tongue before. That he felt the need to do so now could only mean Ryker had given up on me. Our baby. Us. My vision tilted as the realization slammed into me like a swift punch to my gut.

My gaze drifted to Dr. Mendez. His greedy eyes darted around the room, drinking in my anguish like a glass of ice water on a hot day. I swallowed hard, making a heroic effort to stifle my rising dread.

“Right,” I said, my voice flat. “Do you know if my suitcase is around here somewhere? I’d like to get dressed so I can go for a walk later.”

“No. Not today,” Ignacio answered.

My eyes narrowed, and my heart drummed to a panicked beat. “So, I’m a prisoner again. Is that what you’re trying to say? Here, I thought Ryker rescued me, but I guess I just exchanged one sadist cartel warden for another one.”

“Dr. Mendez, can you step outside for a minute?”

“Por supuesto.”

“Those are Ryker’s rules, not mine,” Ignacio said after Dr. Mendez stepped into the hall. “You can take it up with him. If it were up to me, I’d have you on the next flight back to D.C. You don’t belong here. You’re not right for him anymore.” His lips pressed into a thin line and his eyes darkened into twin lumps of coal. “You’re a liability and Ryker doesn’t need any distractions right now. He owes me.”

Pain rippled through my chest, and I struggled for my next breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His smile turned reptilian. “We made a deal. I helped him rescue you, and now he has to help me.”

I circled my arms around my waist, trying to hold myself together. My nerve endings prickled. “Help you with what?”

Ignacio angled his head to the side. “Rever’s gone. I needed a new successor. Now I have one.”

My hands shook as I threw the sheets off my body. I bolted out of the bed like it was on fire. It took all my power not to wrap my hands around his neck and strangle the life from his body. I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands until I mentally winced.

“You’re lying,” I hissed. “He would never agree to that. He doesn’t want anything to do with your perverse cartel. He doesn’t want anything to do with you. He promised me.” My voice fractured on the last word, making me sound pathetic. Weak. Vulnerable. At that moment, I was all of those and worse.

Ignacio rolled his eyes. “For God’s sake, Miss Covington. Grow up. That’s exactly what he did, and you don’t have anyone but yourself to blame. You did this to him. You shouldn’t have left that hotel. You shouldn’t have come back to Mexico.”

A rush of saliva flooded my mouth, and nausea rolled through me as the last three months finally caught up with me.

Lies.

Betrayals.

Secrets.

Fear.

My pregnancy.

Being taken as a hostage.

Now this…Ryker had pledged his future to the Vargas Cartel. No wonder he had fought me every step last night. He was going to push me out of his life. It was only a matter of hours, and I’d be alone again in a prison of my making, but this time I’d have a child. A hurricane of sadness slammed into my chest.

“Please,” I begged as an unhinged sob sloshed out of my mouth. “Please don’t force him do this. He doesn’t want it. You’re going to kill him.”

“It’s already done. He gave me his word. You know him well enough to know his word means everything.”

What about his promises to me? Did they mean less than his promises to Ignacio?

Every time I thought I’d made progress and put the past behind me, life punched me in the face. I couldn’t take anymore. The last thread of the rope tethering me to reality severed. All of my disjointed emotions twisted like a tornado inside my gut.

Suffocated by his betrayal, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t form a coherent sentence. My limbs trembled like branches in a windstorm. With one hand, I clutched my chest trying to calm the frenetic beat of my heart. With the other, I reached for the headboard to brace my weight, but I didn’t move fast enough. The room swirled before my eyes in a blur of jewel tones and surprised faces.

Pain vibrated up my knees, and my head snapped forward, crashing into the tiled floor. Blood burst from my nose, and streamed down my face. A shower of white stars flickered behind my eyes. I licked my lower lip, and the warm metallic taste of copper coated my tongue.

A hand stroked the back my head. Two sets of dark eyes searched mine. Two mouths moved open and closed. Shouts and rapid-fire questions echoed through my ears, but I couldn’t understand anything. I didn’t want to. It was too hard. I didn’t want to fight any longer. My emotions turned off like a spigot. Numbness slithered through my veins like a lethal injection. I felt so heavy.

Too heavy.

Too tired.

Worn out.

Just like that my eyes slid closed, and I embraced the darkness. I invited it in, and willed it to claim me. Giving up had never felt so peaceful.