Conflicted Love (Needle's Kiss) (13 page)

Trip

“Don’t. You’re overthinking shit. Just don’t,” I whispered. Her body had gone still and I knew she was coming up with all her bullshit reasons why we were a bad idea…why I wasn’t good enough.

“Don’t make this a big deal,” she told me as I got up, pulled my jeans back up my hips and went to the bathroom to clean up.

“It is a big fuckin’ deal,” I snapped. I’d about had enough of her run-around routine. I stormed back into the bedroom to find her slipping one of my shirts over her head.

“It doesn’t have to be. Just let it go,” she mumbled looking around for her discarded clothes. “It was probably just crazy hormones and the heat of the moment. Forget it.”

Was she freaking kidding me? Same old shit different day. Teeny ran from anything that might get under that tough exterior she was wearing around her like armor. I moved around the room trying to tramp down the urge to shake some sense into her. Seething, I threw a fresh shirt and new beanie on. Forget calming myself. I was way beyond that point now.

Blocking the doorway and her hasty escape, I grabbed her arms and leaned in close. “Stop running away! Act like a fucking grown up for once,” I demanded.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do! Don’t patronize me. And get the hell out of my way!” she yelled shoving at my chest.

“Stop!” I barked. “Just hear me out.”

“What the fuck for, Trip?” Taking a deep breath, she glared, “So you can have an easy piece on the side?”

Dumbfounded that she’d even think that after the shit I’d gone through to show her I wanted her—just her— I needed to take action. I might have gone about it ass about face, but she’d left me no choice but to do whatever I could to get a reaction.

“What do you want from me?” she screamed clearly having lost her cool as well.

"For shit's sake, Teeny, I'm in fucking
love
with you!" I yelled pulling my beanie off and fisting it.

My throat burned an uncomfortable and alien feeling. My voice softened when I looked into her disbelieving eyes, "I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do about it."

Two tears fell from her eyes and trailed her cheeks. She looked away quickly. The breath in my lungs stuttered. Fuck. She didn't give a fuck. I laid it all out and she didn't care. I'd got my answer.

I pulled my keys from my pocket and left closing the door quietly behind me. Not looking back. I felt completely broken and plain tired.

The harsh rain started almost the exact time. I’d pulled my heart out of my chest and handed it over on a silver platter. The rain stung my face as I rode across town to the lookout. It was the spot I came when I needed time to think, room to breathe or just when everything was turning to shit.

And everything had just turned to shit.

Pulling over to the side, I turned my bike off, threw my leg over and grabbed the bottle of whiskey I’d stopped for. I ripped my helmet from my head and tossed it to the side. Thankfully, I’d left my jacket on my bike the last time I’d gone for a ride; otherwise, I’d be freezing my ass off. As it was, the worn black leather wasn’t offering as much shelter from the rain as I would have liked.

But it didn’t matter. I was numb.

I sat on the very edge of the lookout staring into the darkness and city lights.

So, this was what rejection felt like.

I’d never experienced it before. This tightness in my chest, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, the lump in my throat, it was all new to me.

I unscrewed the lid from my poison of choice and lifted the bottle to my lips, tipped it back and swallowed hard. The burn that rushed down my throat and warmed my stomach did nothing to ease the pain of losing the one woman I ever loved.

Love fucking sucked.

Looking down at the still almost full bottle in my hands, I wondered what I was supposed to do next; she’d rejected me. Flat out looked right at me, reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. Pulling my arm back, I threw the bottle against the rocks below me. Shattering into a million tiny pieces, I left it the same way my insides felt.

I don’t know how long I sat there in the cold night staring into space. A thousand words swirled through my head, countless emotions I never even knew I possessed tearing through my soul. It must have been a while because the dark sky started to lighten with the dawn; my body was still numb from the cold rain that had pounded down on me. I was soaking wet and no doubt looking as shitty as I felt.

Climbing onto my bike, I started her up and took a moment to tamp down some of the heartache. Heading toward home to get a quick shower, I stopped at the intersection and put my feet to the ground steadying myself; lights hit my tired face moments before a screech of tires and sounds of metal on metal pierced my senses. As if in slow motion, my fingers were ripped from the handlebars and I flew through the air landing on the wet bitumen with a sickening thud. My vision went blurry and I couldn’t feel anything except the excruciating pain radiating through my head. I attempted to lift my hand to it, but all that happened was a foggy feeling and a heavy weight in my limbs.

A clear vision of Teeny and her swollen belly flashed through my mind before everything went black.

Teen
y

Pacing the living room, I glanced over at the clock again. My stomach clenched for what would probably be the hundredth time that day.

1:49 in the morning.

He’d been gone for almost twenty-four hours. This wasn’t like Trip. But then again, he was under the assumption he’d just been rejected. I could see the pain crystal clear in his eyes. I had unintentionally ripped his heart out. After I snapped out of my shocked state, it’d been too late; Trip had already taken off on his bike.

I figured he needed some time to calm down before he came home. So I waited and waited, and eventually, I fell asleep clutching my cell phone to my chest, curled in a ball on the sofa. Morning came and it became apparent he didn’t just need a little time.

Was he coming home at all or had I pushed him too far?

I was worried. Worried I’d messed it all up. He loved me.
Me
of all people, and I went silent—radio silent—at the most important time of my life…I went freaking silent.

I had called every single friend I knew of his from his phone including his mom and sisters. Not a single one of them had seen or heard from Trip. This was why I was now wearing a hole in the living room floor.

He was on his bike when he left. There was a storm when he left. And that alone scared the living hell out of me.

He could be hurt and I’d not know. I spent approximately thirty seconds wondering if I’d driven him into the arms of some random skank, but decided that wasn’t a thought I wanted to travel down.

He had to have gone for a drink and gotten arrested. That was it; he’d gone for a drink, gotten into a fight and gotten arrested. Except, he must have been arrested across the other side of the country because I’d already called the police station and he wasn’t there. I’d also called Scarlett’s shop hoping he’d fallen asleep there, and my last resort, I’d called all the local hospitals. And nothing.

Radio silence.

Twelve Hours later…

I was rocking back and forth with the phone clasped to my chest, visible black rings under my eyes, and feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

The phone rang and I jumped without looking at the number. I quickly answered hoping for some news, any news. All I got was Trip’s sister, Haven, checking in; they’d been franticly searching from their end, but to no avail.

All I could think, while my eyes blurred with unshed tears, was
what have I done?

Twenty-Four Hours later…

Tears streaming down my face, I took slow steps toward the door. I reached out and turned the knob. There weren’t many reasons a doorbell would ring at nearly two in the morning. I slowly cracked the door open to see two uniformed police officers looking somber and apologetic. The older of the two’s eyes fell to my stomach where I held a protective hand over it and he winced.

He
winced.

“Ma’am,” The younger officer nodded at me. “Sorry for calling by this late but is this the residence of one Javerio ‘Trip’ Torres?”

Numbness took over as my body shook with silent sobs. My wet tears slid down my face hitting the arm holding onto my belly.

I did, however, feel my heart fall to the floor seconds before I crumpled to my knees and let out a long keening cry.

Teeny

“Whoa! Are you okay, Ma’am?” The younger officer bent on one knee and watched me warily.

My heart hurt. This absolutely couldn’t be happening. This was not happening. “What—I—Trip?” I spluttered feeling a panic attack coming on.

“I’m afraid there was an accident involving Mr. Torres and we were sent to inform you.” The older officer stepped forward and started talking, “He’s okay, Ma’am. He’s been there for a while however. He had no identification when he was brought in, so it took some time to find out who he was.”

Dipping my chin, tears of relief came easily while I chanted mentally,
No more fights, never again.

Then a thought settled into my brain. Why didn’t he tell them who he was?

My stomach dipped. A million of the worst possible scenarios flittered through my mind. I was now breathing short and shallow trying to wrap my head around it all.

“Is he okay?
Really
okay?” I asked quietly, terrified of what answer I might get, yet understanding in that moment what it meant to love somebody unconditionally.

As the officer nodded with kind eyes, my mind wandered.

No matter how bad this may be, I would stand by him. Picking myself up off the floor with a shudder, I pushed through the door still in my pajamas and made for the truck.

“Wait, Miss. Would you like us to take you to the hospital he’s been admitted to?”

“Oh, umm.”
Shit
! I didn’t even know where he was. I looked from Trip’s truck to the patrol car and back again.

“It might be best. I don’t think you‘re in any condition to drive right now. I insist.” The older salt and pepper haired officer steered me gently toward the back seat.

The entire drive I stared into space, scared out of my mind about what I was about to walk into.

“Right this way, please.” The plump nurse walked beside me. “You’re his Teeny, right?” she asked slightly amused. I was taken aback and my forehead scrunched in confusion.

“Pardon?” I asked.

She chuckled sweetly, “Since he woke up, he’s been asking to call
his
Teeny. I assume that’s you seeing as he’s described how stunning you are to anyone who’ll listen.”

“Is he okay? I mean—does he have…” I put my hand on her arm to slow her walk down. I needed to know what was wrong before I went in there. what to prepare myself for. Maybe he’d hit his head and had brain damage or something.

She smiled kindly, “He’s fine, honey. Just a little medicated. He has a few bumps and bruises, a broken pinkie finger and a couple of stitches on his head. The doctor has him on some strong painkillers so he’s a little out of it.” A giggle broke through as she shuffled us forward.

What’s so funny?

She pushed open a door and stepped through warily. And that’s when I saw him.

“Oh my God,” I gasped and rushed forward but stopped short of him. Trip was standing up over by the window. Butt naked.

The
open
, full-length, glass window, I might add. I looked back to a smirking nurse opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water.

“He refuses to wear a gown. Says he’s a
dude
and
dudes
don’t wear that shi—” she coughed, “…stuff. We’ve had security up here three times this morning to get him away from the window and cover up. I gotta say, I don’t mind the view. Your guy has a nice tush.” She was standing by the door not even attempting to do anything about his situation. I was still in shock. Seeing the cuts and bruises littering his body had my heart racing again. I moved forward a step when the nurse touched my arm bringing me to a halt.

“Wait for it.” The nurse looked from me and tipped her head to Trip. Before I could ask what the hell was going on, he did the funniest thing I’d even seen.

Placing his arms out by his sides, he stumbled a little before taking in a deep breath and belting out, “I’m a little teapot…”

I gaped. I tilted my head to the side and then I burst out laughing at the hilarity of it all. I had prepared myself for the worst and I found Trip high as a kite singing a kid’s lullaby. He was even doing the actions facing the window, just naked. Naked and singing about a teapot. He was okay. I could see it with my own eyes so I knew he was okay.

“…Short and stout!” he kept going.

Pulling out my phone, I shot a group message off letting his family know he was okay and I’d call soon with details, when suddenly, an idea hit me. It was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. So I went ahead and did what any normal person in this situation would do.

I hit record on my phone’s video camera and lifted it, taking in Trip’s performance as well as his spectacular ass. Something like this was too good to miss. Everyone needed to see it. I told myself it was all in support of him being fine. But my brain called bullshit.

“...Here is my handle. Here is my
spout…
” On the word spout, Trip openly and extremely obviously pointed to his dick. Laughing so hard that the phone shook, I watched as he kept up with his actions not even aware I was in the room. Snickering behind me was a group of female nurses all huddled together once they realized I was filming him.

A young male doctor walked into the room just as Trip finished his teapot rendition and cleared his throat causing the nurses to scatter. Slipping my phone away, I kept an eye on Trip trying to twirl like a ballerina but looking more like a monkey spinning in circles.

“You must be the famous Teeny then?” he smiled and stuck his hand out. He had a thousand-watt mega smile and a cute dimple in one side. His hands were strong and firm. I had a thing for man hands. I was also acutely aware that I was standing in front of a drop-dead gorgeous guy in my pajamas, no bra and a rat’s nest of hair sitting on top of my head. I felt the blush creep up my neck when my nipples peaked under my shirt. “I’m the resident doctor. You can call me Alex though.” His thumb rubbed gently over the back of my hand that he was still holding onto.

“I guess. I mean…I’m not famous. I’m just Teeny. I mean...I’m just me.” Flustered, I shook my head and stared down at my slipper-covered feet. Alex’s face was scrambling my head and looking at his chest hadn’t helped my hormones due to the fact he had a body like a God and arms to match. He wasn’t as hot as Trip but he had this air about him that would lure old ladies and desperate woman or just horny women.  Apparently, I fell into that category.

I almost swooned when he put his hand on my arm and smiled down at me, “You’re as pretty as I thought you’d be.” The doctor coughed to hide his slip up. “I mean as he said you’d be.”

Good Lord, was he flirting with me? I wasn’t entirely sure seeing as it’d been a while since that had happened. “Oh,” was all I managed to squeak out before Trip cleared his throat behind us.

“Would you like a seat?” At the reminder of Trip, I checked myself. Shit, how could I be standing with Trip in the room—the man I had come to realize I loved—yet I was blushing at another guy? I was an ass, plain and simple. My hormones were controlling every reaction I had and it was not cool. “I’ll just get Trip settled first. He’s…umm, very under-dressed.” Turning, I shuffled toward Trip who was now glaring at the doctor with his hands on his hips and an erection that was more than a little impressive; the silver bar that was ever present catching the light and drawing extra attention.  It appeared the drugs were starting to wear off and I was left with a very naked, very horny and rather pissed off Trip to deal with.

“Trip, honey, can you come put some clothes on now?” I asked stepping in front of him to conceal his lack of modesty.

“I don’t know. Is this jackass going to keep hitting on you?” he fumed and continued shooting daggers at the doctor. Oh dear, his jaw was ticking and the smiling, happy Trip was gone. He was now clenching his fists by his side.

“You have a problem though. One you need to cover up,” I hissed completely uncaring about his issue with the doctor.

Trip reached for me pulling me tight to his body and planted a heavy kiss on my lips. “My problem is
there
because you’re
here.
I can’t see you and not get hard. Deal with it,” he told me honestly while eyeing off the doctor over my shoulder. Holding me possessively to him, he was obviously proving a point.

A snort escaped me, “Next time, just piss on me. It’d do the same thing and probably save splitting your lip open again.” I noticed the cut on his lip had opened up from his caveman display.

With a grunt, he moved me behind him and shuffled to the bed sliding under the covers. He gripped my hand once he was settled. “Lay it on us, Dick, I mean, Doc. What’s the verdict?” I dug my nails into the side of his hand as a warning.

“Well, you seem to be in good health. Everything appears to be fine. Our only concern is the fact you had a head injury and were unconscious for a good period of time,” Alex told us keeping his eyes on the clipboard in his hands.

“My head’s fine. I remember everything I need to and I want to go home,” Trip said quietly letting my hand go and pulling the blanket up higher.

My heart sank. He really did think I didn’t love him.

Apparently, we were either as blind as each other or just ignorant. I hadn’t realized he loved me because I never thought it was even a possibility. He’d taken my silence as me not feeling the same. I needed to tell him how I felt, but I feared it might already be too late. The show he’d put on before was just that, a show, and only for the doctor. While it frustrated the hell out me, I was in no mood to be in the middle of a pissing contest. I was his. It was finally time to stop the games and the shitty sidestepping.

“I would be more comfortable if you stayed overnight just to keep an eye on you and make sure you have no neurological problems. It’s a precautionary measure that I strongly suggest you accept.” Dr. Alex looked at Trip who was wincing but nodded anyway. “Okay, I’ll have the nurse come in and give you some more pain medication. Your head should stop hurting over the next few hours. In the meantime, you need only take something to take the edge off.” Trip looked toward the window clearly dismissing us. The doctor wrote something down, turned and left the room leaving us alone with an awkward silence.

“Thanks for coming. I’m okay so you can probably go now,” Trip whispered not looking at me.