Connected by the Tide (4 page)

5

When Henry came home that night, he collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He
’d never felt more alone in his life. Everything was caving in on him. He always acted like he was okay, that nothing bothered him, but that couldn’t be more untrue. His mother’s constant depression over his father always made his heart throb in pain. She still cried about it constantly, probably because she felt guilty about it. Jacklyn still suffered over the loss, and she was so young to feel such pain. Henry felt like he didn’t have anyone to confide in. Then, to make everything worse, the woman he was in love with didn’t want him. He had to see her with her fiancé every single day, kissing him and holding his hand. Henry felt the tears bubble under his eyes. Just having someone to talk to would be nice—someone he trusted.

There were s
o many times when he wanted to call Sydney and just collapse in sobs, telling her every pain that tugged his heart, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He had no one to share his pain with. He was totally alone.

After he forced himself to think about
the crashing waves of the ocean and the sailboats that rocked in the waves, he finally fell asleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he felt a little better. His mind had recharged after getting some sleep. He packed his bag then went to school. When he got to campus, he walked
to his first class. But when he reached the door, he saw the sign. It said class was canceled. Unsure what to do in the meantime, he went to the library.

When he walked inside, he saw Aaron behind the counter. His presence surprised Henry. He didn
’t know he worked in there. After a long and hateful glare, Henry walked farther inside then moved through the aisles. When he reached the back, away from everything and everyone, he spotted the blonde hair he had been staring at lately.

Ren was sitting at the table, scribbling on her notepad with her earphones in.

He approached her slowly, not wanting to scare her.

When she noticed him, she pulled her earphone
s out. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I can’t believe class is canceled. The semester just started.”

Henry sat down.
“Yeah. I did all that homework for nothing.” He looked at her iPod. It was yellow. “What were you listening to?”

She shrugged.
“Indie rock.”

“Cool. I like that music
, too.”

“You don’t like gangster rap?” she teased.

“Why? Do I look like I would?”

“You never know. I’m trying not to stereotype.”

He smiled. “Well, your stereotype was dead-on.”

“So how was your night?”

He swallowed the lump in throat, feeling all his pain rush back. “Good. How was yours?”

“Perry hid a bunch of dog bones in my bed. When I went to
lie down last night, I thought I was lying on a bed of rocks.”

Henry laughed. “It sounds like someone feels resented.”

She sighed. “Well, between school and work, I don’t have much time.”

“Where do you work?”

“Oahu Luau.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a dancer.”

“Wow. That’s so cool.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”
The idea of her wearing a coconut bra and a grass skirt immediately made his spine shiver.

“You should check me out.”

“What?” he said quickly.

“I meant you should come to the show.
”

“Oh. Yeah. That would be cool.”

She stared at him suspiciously for a moment. “I don’t mean to overstep my boundaries and invade your privacy, but do you have a girlfriend?”

Henry wasn’t expecting that question. “No. Why?”

She shrugged. “You just seem like the type of guy who would.”

“What does that mean?”

“You seem like a nice guy, the kind who likes to be in a relationship.”

“I would like to be in a relationship. I just don’t have anyone to be in a relationship with.”

She nodded then looked back at her book.

“Um, are you seeing anyone?”

“No.”

He nodded. He wasn’t sure why he asked.

She started to pack her stuff. “Well, I’m going to get some coffee. I’m tired. I didn’t get much sleep because my dog wanted to cuddle—more than usual.”

“Okay.”

She walked away. “I’ll see you later.”

Henry watched her go, s
taring at her long legs and ass. He felt like a disgusting pervert for looking, but he couldn’t help it. Her long hair trailed behind her back and it had curls at the end. She had a beautiful body with perfect curves. Henry would be lying if he said he didn’t notice. Without thinking, he grabbed his stuff and walked after her. He didn’t know what he was doing.

He saw her walk inside
the student coffee shop and followed her. When he got inside, he saw her move to a seat with two girlfriends. She had a cup of black coffee sitting in front of her, and she smiled and laughed with her friends. Henry stared at her for a long time, noticing the curve of her lips and the brightness of her eyes. He even looked at her feet. Her petite waist was small compared to her prominent chest. She was definitely bustier than the average woman. Her breasts curved in her shirt, pushed up and perky. Henry continued to stare at her, wondering what he should say to her. He wasn’t sure what he was even doing. After someone accidentally bumped into him, reality flooded back. He knew he shouldn’t be there. He turned around and left.

At lunchtime, he sat with his friends but felt just as awkward as he did before. His momentary bliss with Ren was ruined whenever he was around Sydney. Her natural light and beauty sucked his heart out every time. He couldn’t keep doing this.

When the afternoon classes were over, Henry drove to the shack. He knew Sydney was at work, so he decided now was the best time. After he pulled into the driveway, he slammed the door then walked to the house. The last time he was there, he was moving Coen’s belongings into the house. It was day he’d never forget. He knocked on the door and waited for Coen to answer.

“Hey,” he said. “Sydney’s at work.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Oh. Uh, come in.”

Henry walked inside and they moved into the living room.

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you when Sydney wasn’t around. I figured this would be easier coming from you than me.”

“Okay.”
Coen stared at Henry, waiting for him to elaborate. Henry glanced around the room, seeing the slight changes. A video game console was hooked up to the television, and a few car racing movies were sitting on the table. The atmosphere of the room was different. It really was a home to both of them.

“I can’t keep doing this, acting like everything is okay when it’s not. I realize this is hard for you to hear, but I’m still in love with Sydney and I hate feeling that way. Every time I see you kiss her
, I want to rip my own eyes out so I don’t have to see it. When I look at the ring on her finger, I think it should be from me. I wish I’d made my move sooner, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

Coen said nothing, trying to control his emotions. Henry knew this wasn’t easy to hear. He wouldn’t want to hear another man profess his
undying love for his girl. “Do you have a point?” he said with a clenched jaw.

“Yeah.
I’m never going to get over her if I see her on a daily basis. I thought changing my major would help, but it hasn’t. Even when I see her for a moment, all my hard work just falls apart.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I don’t want to see her anymore,” he said quietly.

Coen rested his elbows on his knees. “I think that would be best.”

“I don’t want to feel this way, honestly.”

“I believe you.”

“And I really am happy for both of you. Sydney wouldn’t have chosen you if you weren’t perfect for her. She loves you in a way she’ll never love me.”

“So what do you want me to say?”

“Tell her not to call me, not to come to my house, and don’t expect to see me in the cafeteria. And if she does, just ignore me. Don’t even look at me.”

“Does this mean your friendship is over?”

He nodded. “For now. If she ever needs me, I’m there for her. But right now, I can’t do this anymore. I want to come to your wedding with a smile on my face, not a fake one. I want it to be a happy day, not the worst day of my life. And there’s this girl I’m kinda talking to. I can’t pursue her if I’m in love with Sydney. I know this will hurt her, but I have to put myself first.”

“She’ll understand.”

“I knew I wouldn’t have the strength to tell her myself. I would just chicken out.”

“I get that.”

“Thanks.”

“Good luck with this girl.”

“Yeah. She’s pretty cool.” He looked at Coen. “I know you must hate me, and I don’t blame you. Thanks for being cool about everything.”

“I admit it makes me uncomfortable, but since Sydney loves you so much I’ll let it go. But believe me, it’s an effort.”

“It won’t always be this way.”

“I sincerely hope not.”

Henry rose from the couch then walked out the door, heading to his car. Coen shut the door and went back inside. He and Coen weren’t particularly close, and they would never be. Coen’s compassion and empathy could last for only so long.

6

Henry went to the coffee shop that evening and saw Ren sitting in the same corner as she
’d been the night before. He walked over and smiled at her.

“Hey, study buddy.”

“Hey,” she said. “How was your day?”

“My other classes weren’t canceled
, so it sucked.”

She laughed.
“Me too.”

“How was yours?”

“It was good. Nothing too interesting happened.”

Henry looked at her cup, realizi
ng it was empty. “Can I get you another?”

“Sure,” she said with a smile.

Henry walked to the counter and paid for the two drinks before he came back to the table. “You drink a lot of coffee.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, this is your third cup, isn’t it?”

“You’re keeping track?” she asked.

“Well, no. I just noticed,” he said as he averted his gaze.

She closed her textbook and sighed. “Well, I’ve done all my homework for the week.”

“I don’t have much, either.”

“Do you miss your old major?”

He laughed. “No, not at all. I had at least thirty hours a week of homework. Now I have ten at the most. It’s a relief.”

“It looks like you upgraded
, then.”

“Definitely.”

She cupped her mug with both hands as she smiled at him. “So, what’s new with you?”

“New?”

“Yeah. Anything interesting going on in your life? I don’t know you that well.”

There were a lot of things going on in his life. He would love to have someone to talk to.
“No, not really.”

“Where do you work?”

“At the aquarium.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a janitor.” He felt embarrassed that he had such a lame job. He’d never cared before, but now he did because of Ren. “I just wanted to get my foot in the door so I could move up and work as a researcher or scientist.”

“That’s cool.”

“I like it.”

“I would like that job.”

“You would?” he asked, surprised.

“You get to see all the animals every day, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s really neat.”

He smiled, feeling relaxed around her. “It is. But the penguins can be assholes.”

“What? Penguins are adorable.”

“Oh, that’s what they want you to think,” he said with a laugh. “Every time I go in there they try to beat me up.”

She raised an eyebrow.
“Sweet penguins that have no arms? They try to beat you up?”

“Their beaks are sharp!”

She laughed. “That still sounds like fun.”

“When you’re on the outside of the glass, maybe.”

“I would love to see it.”

Her words hung in the air for a long time, landing on Henry’s ear
, then entering his mind. He wanted to offer to show her around, especially after the facility was closed so she could get a good look at everything, but he held back his invitation. Since he was such a mess, hung up on someone else, he couldn’t ask her out. It was wrong. He averted his gaze and stared at his coffee.

She cleared her throat. “Do you have plans this weekend?”

“No, not really. Do you?”

“I’m working tomorrow night.”

“Oh, cool.”

“You should come by.”

“I should?”

“Yeah.
I can get you free tickets. I get, like, fifty a year, but I only use a handful because all the natives couldn’t care less about a luau.”

Henry didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to be rude.
“Yeah. That would be great.”

“And you can bring your friends.”

“Yeah.” He looked into his coffee even though there was nothing to look at. Since they had no homework to do, the moment felt very intimate. She was staring at him, and he could feel her gaze. He wanted to return her look and stare at her beautiful face, but he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. He liked having her as a friend.

“What did you want to do with your degree?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I would like to write, mainly. But teaching is always an option.”

“At what level?”

“I prefer college.”

She nodded. “That would be good.”

“But I would have to get master’s.”

“Or a Ph
.D.”

“Hell
, no,” he said as he shook his head. “I would never do that.”

She laughed. “People
who have doctorate degrees are always weird.”

“Always.”
He looked into her face and was mesmerized by her features. She reminded him of a beautiful mermaid, exotic and alluring. The large shape of her eyes always caught his attention. She didn’t wear much makeup, just some eye liner and lip gloss. He liked the natural look. Her skin was slightly kissed by the sun, a darker shade. Her shirt was tight around her chest, and he noticed her breasts even though he tried not to. When he felt his mind go somewhere dark, he pulled himself back.

“Well, I should get going,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You just got here,” she said sadly.

“Yeah, I just remembered I have somewhere to be.” He grabbed his bag then turned around and walked out the door. When he got to his car, he stopped and leane
d against the door. The crickets could be heard in the grass, and the wind blew through his hair slightly. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

He realized he was starting to like Ren. The more he talked to her and the more he was around
her, he realized he wanted something to happen between them. She was the first woman he thought about in a sexual way besides Sydney. The good part was, he was starting to picture himself with other women. The bad part was, he wasn’t over Sydney. He couldn’t ask Ren out when he felt that way. He didn’t want to lead her on then break her heart. He should keep his distance. After he took another deep breath, he turned around.

Ren was standing on the sidewalk, looking at him. He didn’t know how long she had been standing there, but it
might have been the whole time. He flinched when he saw her, unsure of what to say. Their eyes met, and he felt his heart throb. Her green eyes danced in an array of colors. She wore jean shorts and a white top, and she looked beautiful under the light of the stars. He knew he should stay away from her. His attraction and interest in her was too strong.

Ren continued to look at him, her arms across her chest. She didn’t have her bag with her, so h
e knew she’d chased him. When she didn’t make a move, he opened his door, got inside, and drove away.