Chapter 12
“Lynn, what are you trying to do to me? I am supposed to be in training,” Denise said as she devoured another piece of Lynn's fried chicken.
Cooley looked at Denise and smiled. “Bruh, can't she cook her ass off?” Cooley said as she took a gulp of the red Kool-Aid. “Bae, this is off the chain.”
Lynn smiled. “Anything for my
papi
.” Lynn continued to fry chicken.
“Coach is going to bench my fat ass if I keep on doing this.” Denise got up from the table and hugged Lynn. “Thanks again, boo.”
Lynn turned and looked at Cooley, who was only paying attention to her plate. She sat down at the table and watched Cooley eat.
Cooley looked up when she felt Lynn's eyes on her. “What? I got something in my teeth?”
Lynn smiled with a dreamy-eyed look. “No, I just was thinking of how great this semester has been going. Don't you think so?”
“Yeah, it's cool.”
“We have been having a real good time, right?” Lynn asked Cooley.
Cooley nodded her head. “Fa sho, you know how to treat a nigga right.” Cooley took a bite of her mashed potatoes.
“Cooley, I was wondering if you wanted to come home with me for Christmas?” Lynn asked, still looking at Cooley with her dreamy eyes.
Cooley almost choked on her Kool-Aid. “Um, I hate to say no 'cause I'm sure ya mama taught you how to cook like this. But I will be in Atlanta during break.” Cooley looked at Lynn, “Plus, you don't take niggas like me home. You take your girlfriend home”
Lynn's face dropped. “Well, I mean as much time and all that we spend together, I figured we were getting to thatâ”
Cooley quickly cut her off. “Shorty, I told you in the beginning that I am not looking for a relationship. It's not something that I am going to do.”
Lynn got up from the table. “I know that's what you said, but it's like I'm over here like almost every day and all. We're practically in a relationship now.”
“Well, do we need to stop kicking it so much? Because if you want time to see other people, I understand.” Cooley got up from the table and put her dishes in the sink. She could see the hurt in Lynn's face.
“No, everything is fine,” Lynn said, trying to hide her disappointment. “But you're right, my girls have been complaining about me being with your ass all the time.” Lynn smiled.
Cooley wasn't buying her excuse. “If you say so, shorty. I like spending time with you, but you just caught me at the wrong point in my life. I swear last year I actually tried the relationship thing, but it's not what I want now.” Cooley kissed Lynn on her forehead and walked back into her room.
Lynn finished cleaning up the kitchen. She wasn't giving up that easily.
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“Is coach trying to kill us?” Stephanie said.
“I don't know, but I know my body is killing me right now,” Denise said as they walked out of the dressing room. “Hey, are you all right to make it back to your room this late?”
“Yeah, I am fine. Michelle is going to wait on me,” Stephanie replied. “Dee, can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, what's up?”
“I wasn't completely honest with why I dress more feminine now.” Stepanie looked down at the ground as they walked. “There was more.”
“Spit it out then,” Denise said, noticing how nervous Stephanie looked.
“Well, to be honest, I have always been a tomboy, but not a stud.”
“What do you mean? You always date femmes.”
“That's because if I went up to a stud they would be ready to slap the shit out of me,” Stephanie said.
Denise knew she was right. Studs just didn't date other studs in Memphis.
“When I was in Spain, I realized something was really missing. Then I realized I could never have it, dressing the way I dressed.”
“So you are saying that you're crushing on someone?” Denise said as she tossed her bag in her car. “Do I know the person?”
Stephanie smiled. “Oh yeah, you know them very well.”
“Don't tell me it's Cool.”
They laughed.
“No, it's not Cooley.”
“Well, who?”
Stephanie looked into Denise's eyes. “I thought it should be obvious.” Stephanie grabbed Denise's hand.
Denise felt a warm sensation flow through her body. “Stephâ”
“Denise!” Rhonda yelled, storming up toward them.
“What's up, Rhonda?” Denise said, slightly irritated that she interrupted her conversation.
“That's what I want to know,” she retorted, looking Stephanie up and down.
“Look, I'm 'bout to roll out. I'll see you tomorrow at practice, Dee,” Stephanie said and walked off.
Rhonda immediately started in on Denise. “What the fuck was that, Dee? Why was she holding your hand and shit?”
“Rhonda, you need to calm down.” Denise sighed. She noticed a few people beginning to watch.
“No, I don't need to calm down! Stop telling me to calm down when you are doing shit like this! You need to tell me what the fuck is going on! So you fuckin' your teammates now?”
Denise took a deep breath to try to keep her cool. “Rhonda, this is not the time.”
“Yes, the fuck, it is.” Rhonda pushed Denise.
Denise grabbed her arms. “You know what? Fuck this shit!” Denise let go of Rhonda. “Number one, I don't have to explain shit to you. Two, you know I don't do this drama bullshit, so you need to calm the fuck down,” Denise said in a very stern voice.
Rhonda could tell Denise wasn't playing, but she continued to try her anyway.
“Fuck that, Denise! You not finna play me for a fuckin' fool. I bet not catch you up on her again or it's gon' be both of yo' asses!” Rhonda said as she rolled her neck and threw her hand around in Denise's face.
“You know what, fuck this shit. You are fuckin' crazy!”
Rhonda's face turned quickly. “What did you call me? Take it back. I'm not crazy. Take it back!”
“Whatever, Rhonda, I'm done. Do not call me anymore. Do not show up at my practice. Leave me the fuck alone!” Denise got into her car.
Rhonda hit the window as Denise drove off. “It's not over 'til
I
say it's over!”
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Nic was amazed by how quickly Larissa could type. She watched as Larissa never looked down at the keys. She was glad she had come into her life.
“So, did you need me to type anything else?” Larissa asked Nic, still amazed by how quickly she typed the paper.
“Um, no, speed racer. Girl, I would have been here all night typing those pages.” Nic smiled.
“It's all good. I'm good at typing.”
“You're excellent at typing. Damn, it's late. We need to get going,” Nic said.
They headed out of the computer lab.
“Where are you parked?”
“Over the tracks. Goodness, I didn't know it was ten.”
“Yeah, I didn't know it was so late either. I'm not getting you in trouble, am I?” Nic smiled.
Larissa blushed. “Um, no. Hell, I had my own work to do. Your paper took like five minutes.”
“Great. Make me feel real shitty, why don't you? Come on, let me walk you over these tracks.”
“You don'tâ”
“La-La, you already know I am walking you.”
Nic and Larissa headed out of the building.
“Larissa, how are things at home?”
“Um, they are OK. How are things with you?”
“Can I confide in you?” Nic asked.
“Of course.”
“Man, I love Carmen to death. You know that, right?” Nic said.
Larissa nodded her head. “It's Carmen's ex.
It's like I can't shake the feeling that Carmen still has feelings for her.”
“Damn. Have you talked to Carmen about it?”
“Hell, yeah. She knows how I feel about the situation. The other day the girl left a message on our dorm phone. I swear I wanted to go kill her. But at the same time I couldn't shake the feeling that Carmen liked hearing from her.”
“Nic, I don't know. I personally don't know why any woman would want anyone over you. I mean, any straight woman would kill for a man that acted like you. Lord knows I would.” Larissa looked at Nic. “Have you ever been completely cool with something, until someone shows you the better side?”
“What do you mean?” Nic asked.
“You know, like you are used to drinking the cheap vodka. Then one day you have Grey Goose. It's like you don't want to go back to drinking the cheap shit. It just doesn't compare anymore.”
“I feel you on that.”
“Well, it's like lately my eyes have been opened up to more. And I don't know if what I have is worth keeping anymore.” Larissa looked at Nic. Their eyes met. “You understand what I am saying?”
“Yeah, I do. Um, is that your car?”
Larissa jumped back into reality. “Yeah, it is. Well, I'll see you later, Nic.”
Nic closed the door for Larissa and began to walk off. She heard Larissa call her name.
“Nic, remember that you deserve someone who loves you just as much or more than you love them.” Larissa smiled and drove off.
Chapter 13
“I officially wish I hadn't waited till this year to take my last math,” Carmen said to her friend Brian, who also went by Brandi.
“It's all good. You help me get through keyboarding, and I got you in math,” Brian said as they sat typing away in the computer lab.
Brian was the star of the majorette squad. He could twirl a baton better than all the women on the team.
“Look at Derek over there, with his gay ass.”
Carmen looked over at the large football player. “Since when is Derek Smith gay?”
“Since he started fuckin' me at least twice a week.” Brian snapped his neck. “Girl, he can't get enough.”
“Brian, you better stop, and if I was you, I wouldn't tell anyone else. I am sure he don't want the world knowing he's gay.”
“I know, right. Girl, his dumb-ass girlfriend is so fuckin' clueless. I tell you about these dumb broads around here. She think she got something special. She just don't know I'm getting it too.”
Carmen shook her head. She hated the idea of down-low brothers. “I really hope you're using protection with these scandalous men.”
“Umm-hmm, girl, you know it. 'Cause I know they will pick up trade as easily as they pick up me,” Brian said.
“How is Devin?” Carmen asked.
“She is OK, you know, a little fucked up over the whole thing, but you know you can't keep that diva down.”
“Why weren't you at the protest?”
“Girl, please, these muthafuckas around here don't give a damn about us. Hell, you can't even get the gays to come out. We handle our shit our own way, by coming back to school and being as grand as eva. These homophobic niggas up here don't stop no show.”
“So she's coming back to school?”
“Yep, next semester, talking about she gon' wear full drag in one of the dance team outfits. She planning on out-dancing all those bitches. You know it was trade that did that to her.”
“You think so?” Carmen asked. “A student?”
“Hell, yeah. You can't tell me no different. Probably someone who was mad she wasn't fucking him no more. But that's OK. They will get theirs in the end.”
“What's up, Carmen?”
The familiar voice caused Carmen's flesh to crawl.
“You fuckin' with he-shes now?”
“What the fuck you call me, tramp?” Brian stood up.
The computer lab attendant quickly walked over.
“Take this outside, people.”
“No, there's nothing to take outside. So what is this, Tameka? Now, you want to jump new after the little message you left on my phone. Tameka, do you have, a life or are you just content with trying to fuck with me?” Carmen said, refusing to back down.
Tameka's grin turned to a frown. “Well, look who finally got some backbone. You maybe got a little spine now, but you still ain't nothing but a fat-ass girl.”
The comment hit Carmen like a blow to the chest. She continued to hold her composure 'till Tameka left the room.
“Cece, are you all right, girl,” Brian said. “That bitch better be glad we on this damn campus. I bet not see her at the club.”
“I'm fine, fuck it. I need to roll.” Carmen grabbed her bag and headed out the lab. She needed to get back to her room, back into the arms of someone who cared.
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Denise looked down at her phone. Five missed calls, all from Rhonda. She shook her head as she cleared her call log.
“I told you that bitch was crazy,” Michelle said, grabbing her gym bag.
“Man, tell me about it. I don't even do this kind of drama.” Denise picked up her gym bag. “Yo', where is Steph?”
“I'm right here,” Stephanie said, stepping out of a bathroom stall.
Denise couldn't help but stare at her thick legs in the shorts she had on.
“Damn, is there something on me?”
Denise looked up. “Damn, naw, I justâ”
“She was looking at your thick-ass legs.” Michelle laughed as Denise hit her on her arm.
“Well, Dee, you're welcome to look.” Stephanie smiled as she walked out the locker room.
Michelle looked at Denise. “You know she wants you, right?”
“You think so?”
“Dee, she's my roommate. She wants you, dog. Too bad y'all can't get down.”
“Yeah, coach would kill us both.”
“ExactâOh, shit. Homey, you being stalked,” Michelle said as they noticed Rhonda sitting up against Denise's car.
“Rhonda, don't start this shit today,” Denise said, trying to get past her without using force.
“Denise, please just talk to me.” Rhonda grabbed Denise's arm, but she quickly jerked away.
“Man, look I told youâ” Denise turned her head when she heard a horn beep. She smiled at the sight of Lena. Denise walked away, leaving Rhonda in a huff.
“What's going on, Lena?”
Lena pulled her shades off. “Hey, I was, um, in the area and just wanted to come by and see if you were still in practice.”
“Dee,” Rhonda called out, but Denise ignored her.
“Did I interrupt something?” Lena asked, looking at the anger on Rhonda's face.
“Hell naw. So, what's up?”
“I wanted to see if you would take a drive with me.”
Denise couldn't resist. She heard Rhonda call her name again. “Give me one second.” She walked over to Rhonda. “Look, I have told you more than once to leave me the fuck alone. All this blowing my phone up and shit is doing nothing, but making me really not want to talk to you. I will call you when I want to talk to you.”
Rhonda's face dropped. Tears began to roll down her face. “Fine, Denise.” She threw her hands up in defeat and stormed off.
Denise got in the car with Lena.
“So, this is your city. Where is somewhere we can go to talk?” Lena asked.
Denise knew the perfect place.
They drove over a small bridge to Harbor Town, the exclusive Mud Island neighborhood, where many of Memphis' wealthiest citizens lived. The area had numerous places along the river for people to park for some alone time; it was the perfect place to creep for many.
Lena guided the car through perfectly planned neighborhoods filled with homes in stately Victorian, Craftsman and Federal architecture styles. She drove through the town square, slowing for the many pedestrians strolling along the brick-lined crosswalks. Lena smiled at the quiet, nostalgic feeling the town square had. It was almost as though they had driven into another century when they crossed the bridge.
Lena drove down to the last parking lot for the park on the river. They parked all the way down at the end. “This is a peaceful place,” Lena commented while staring at the muddy water of the Mississippi River. Her iPod was playing random songs by her favorite artist.
Denise sighed. Their taste in music was just another reminder of how much they had in common.
“Look, Lena, I really wanted toâ”
“Denise, don't apologize. That's not what I want to hear right now.”
Denise looked out at the water. “Lena, I don't know what to say.”
“Dee, that kiss, our kisses. They are unlike any kiss I have ever had. So much passion. I have feelings that I, I just don't understand them, or how to deal with them. I just don't know anything anymore.”
A single tear fell from Lena's eye, causing Denise's heart to break. She hated seeing women cry especially about something she did.
“Lena, please, I don't want to see you cry,” Denise said as she wiped the tears that were now flowing heavily from Lena's face. “This is why I didn't want to go there with you. I don't want you hurting because of me. Let's try to just move on from it.”
“Denise, you don't undersand. I had to do it. I have had these feelings since last year. I just didn't know what it was. You and those damn wife-beaters. God, I used to love to watch you work out. I love watching you play basketball.”
“Lena, please don't do this,” Denise said, trying to hold back her feelings.
“Dee...”
“Lena, no, you can't do this. Shit, I shouldn't have come with you. You are with Brandon. You finna marry that nigga in two weeks. I can't do this. It, it ... I just can't do it.” Denise turned her head from Lena. She couldn't bear to look at her. She wanted to tell her everything, but she had to hold back.
Lena could tell Denise was just as affected as she was. She knew deep down she was right. She sighed. “When did things become so complicated?”
“They aren't. We are cool, you are my friend, and that's how things have to be.” Denise felt her heart breaking inside, but she held her composure. “Look, I hate to cut this short, but I really need to get back to campus.”
Lena cranked her engine as Jazmine Sullivan's “Lions, Tigers and Bears” began to play. Denise and Lena sat in silence as they listened to Jazmine's smooth voice. They held back emotions as the words got to them.