Authors: Emily Goodwin
“
For no reason?” I stuttered. “There
is
a reason. We’re going to eat it. We would starve to death if I didn’t hunt for us, and you know that.”
“
Ugh. Whatever. Look, there are little hairs all over it.”
“
Yeah, it happens when you skin it.” And it was Jason’s first time. It was a little sloppy, but better than my first attempt at skinning something, though I had bawled my eyes out then.
“
I’m a vegetarian,” she reminded me. I had nothing against vegetarians or even vegans for that matter. But with our very limited food supply, refusing to eat meat was just stupid. She had been picking at me, little by little, for the last ten days, saying little things about me hunting and killing. As much as I tried to not let her get under my skin, I was close to snapping.
“
Good. More for me.”
Lauren huffed and stormed away. I concentrated on slicing off the fat so I wouldn’t get angry.
“
Jason said we shouldn’t piss you off,” Padraic’s voice drifted behind me. “He told me you are scary good at cutting things open.”
“
Yeah, I guess.”
“
I didn’t mean to offend you, Orissa.”
“
You didn’t,” I assured him.
“
What are you making?”
“
Jerky. It will keep for a long time.”
“
Want to teach me?”
“
Sure. It’s not hard.”
Padraic was good with a knife. He had impressive accuracy and control. There was just something about the way he moved his hands, the care and grace in which he held the knife. “Were you a surgeon?” I asked, feeling slightly ashamed I never bothered to ask what kind of doctor he was before.
“
Yeah, how can you tell?” he asked, his blue eyes flicking up to mine.
“
The way you cut that.”
“
You can tell just by the way I’m cutting a slab of meat?”
“
I guess.” I turned back to my strips of deer. “You should gut the next kill then.”
Padraic shook his head. “It might seem weird, since I used to cut people open daily, but I don’t know if I could gut the deer.”
“
Why not?”
“
Cutting someone open and doing something so they can live is entirely different than slicing into a dead animal.”
“
It’s no picnic, I’ll agree there. But someone has to do it.”
“
I can. I won’t enjoy it but I can. If you want me to,” he offered. We put the slices of deer into bowls of marinade to soak overnight. I washed my hands and sat at the table, unbraiding my hair. Zoe had done it again in tight French braids. My dark hair fell in even, smooth waves around my face, cascading over my shoulders and down my back.
“
You look pretty with your hair down,” Padraic said shyly, joining me at the table.
“
Thanks.” I put my hands on the table. “I used to never wear it up. I hated the way my face looked without my hair framing it. Now…now it’s just not practical.”
“
Funny how things have changed, isn’t it?”
“
Yeah. A year ago I was living it up, partying without a care in the world. It was all about me then.”
“
You’re doing a good job.”
“
Thanks. Wait, with what?”
“
Orissa, you…you are fantastic. Ok, you’re a little bitchy and blunt, but you’ve kept us alive.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I have.” I yawned and deflected the compliment.
“
Tired?”
“
Couldn’t sleep. I had that dream about killing Logan again.”
He reached out and put his hand over mine. His skin wasn’t as smooth as before. I looked into his blue eyes. Lauren came back into the room. She opened the fridge and rummaged through our little bit of cold food.
“
It’s not lunch yet,” I reminded her.
“
I know,” she sighed. “But I’m hungry.”
“
Breakfast was only a few hours ago.”
“
I’m so sick of eggs. I can’t eat them anymore.”
“
I’m sick of eggs too. We all are sick of eggs, trust me,” I said evenly.
“
Then you understand.”
I pulled my hands back from under Padraic’s. “No. We have a limited amount of food. We eat three times a day and that’s it.”
She slammed the fridge closed. “Fine.”
“
Oh my God. I’m going to kill her,” I vented to Padraic once she stomped out of the room.
“
Everyone handles stress differently,” he defended. “She’s focusing on…other things to keep her mind off what is really going on.”
“
No she’s not. But at least she ‘out bitches’ me.”
Padraic laughed. “That’s quite an accomplishment.”
Argos barked. My heart skipped a beat. I picked up the M9 (which was always with me) and raced over. He was looking out the family room window into the backyard.
“
Seriously?” I asked him, running my hand over his smooth fur. “It’s the chickens. I told you, if it’s not a zombie, don’t bark.” Done with my chores for the day, I went into the living room to warm up by the fire.
Zoe, suited up in my old winter clothes, sat on the couch next to me. “Can I ride the four wheeler?”
“
No, Zo. It’s cold out there.”
“
But I’ve never ridden one.”
“
In the spring. When it’s warm.”
“
But I want to ride it now.”
“
It’s too cold. Stay in here where it’s warm,” I insisted.
“
Please, Orissa?”
“
Zoe, no. I’ll read you another chapter.”
“
No. Reading is boring. Everyone else gets to go outside except me. It’s not fair!”
I was not in the mood to hear another hissy fit. And I was not going to let Zoe go outside in the cold when she was fighting a very bad upper respiratory infection. She shouldn’t even be out of bed right now. “I said no.” My voice came out too stern for my liking. Zoe’s green eyes filled with tears and she ran away.
“
She really looks up to you,” Padraic said quietly.
“
So?”
“
You should take her out.”
“
No. It’s cold and she’s sick.”
Padraic perched on the edge of the sofa. “It would make her happy.”
“
No. I’m not doing anything that could make her sicker.”
“
Orissa, would you rather spend three days actually living or three weeks locked in a room?” When I didn’t answer he went on. “Life’s about quality, not quantity. We could all die tomorrow. Does that mean we should give up on happiness?”
I hated that Padraic was right. I hated that amidst all the death and dying he was still concerned with being happy. It was hard enough making sure we made it to the next moment alive. I didn’t give a shit about happiness. I just wanted everyone to live.
I put my face in my hands. I missed being happy. I missed laughing and smiling and being carefree.
“
Ok.” I got up and found Zoe. I wrapped a scarf around her and zipped up her coat. Padraic, Raeya, and Argos came with us, taking turns keeping watch and racing against us. I let Zoe drive and she had a blast. We rode through the creek, over the hill that leads into the large pasture and through the trees. Zoe stopped and pointed out everything beautiful, from the frost covered branches to the tiny bird footprints in the thin snow. Instead of seeing the world as the horrible place it was, she saw nothing but wonder and beauty.
The happiness of being outside temporarily made her forget her attenuating health. In high spirits, she danced around the house and helped Raeya make dinner.
“
That smells wonderful,” Hilary praised when Zoe took the chicken from the oven. “Oh, be careful not to burn yourself, Zoe.”
Zoe pressed her lips together and glared at Hilary. “I know what I’m doing,” she said with so much sass it made both Hilary and me laugh. Along with the chicken, we were having anther treat tonight. Zoe excitedly set a basket of sweet rolls on the table and covered it with a cloth napkin.
And we had cake for dessert.
It seemed so trivial, to be celebrating Thanksgiving while zombies roamed the earth. It was Raeya’s idea. I disagreed at first, arguing it was pointless to carry on with cultural traditions.
“
The group doesn't have very much to look forward to,” she reminded me. “All of our families and friends are dead or worse at this point. When we make it through a twenty-four hour period without being attacked by flesh eating freaks, we call it a good day. People can only take so much; the little things matter now more than ever Orissa. Celebrating something, even a meaningless holiday like turkey day could really brighten everyone's spirits. We need this.”
We crowded around the dining room table. The spread was nothing like I was used to on Thanksgiving, but, for us, it was a feast.
“
I think,” Raeya said as she passed the basket of rolls around the table. “We should all think of one thing we are thankful for. I know times are worse than hard, but if we could all find one small thing, it will be good for us.”
“
That’s a wonderful idea,” Padraic agreed.
“
Yeah,” Jason said quickly. “It is.”
“
Thanks!” Raeya beamed. “I’ll go first. I’m thankful for everything we have: food, shelter, friends. It might not be ideal, but we’re alive and pretty comfortable.” She turned to her right, looking at me.
I hated the ‘giving thanks’ part of Thanksgiving even before the zombies attacked. I always felt awkward sharing how I felt. “I’m thankful for my best friend, Raeya, and all she’s done for us,” I said shyly and smiled at her.
Padraic was next. “I’m thankful Orissa’s appendix needed out when it did,” he said, winking at me. “Without her, none of us would be here.”
“
Yeah,” Spencer agreed when the eyes fell on him. “I’m thankful she saved us from that attic. I know she only came for Raeya.”
The thanks continued with a similar theme until only Lauren was left. “I’m thankful for this innocent animal Orissa slaughtered.”
I gripped my fork. Silence fell over the table. Raeya cleared her throat.
“
It’s really good,” Raeya said. “Thank you, Rissy.”
“
Yeah,” Lisa agreed, angrily eyeing Lauren. “Thank you for putting food on the table.”
“
You’re welcome,” I said through clenched teeth, hoping Lisa wouldn’t take offense to my half heartedness. The gray cloud hovered over me for the rest of dinner.
Raeya, Jason, Padraic, Sonja, Lisa, and Zoe played a game of Monopoly after dessert. They pushed the coffee table close to the fireplace in the living room. I sat at the dining room table, cleaning the guns. The happy chatter and laughter from the game floated across the foyer. I almost felt happy.
Lauren walked in, standing at the end of the table. “I’m sorry if I insulted you,” she said quietly.
“
It’s ok.”
“
Good. I don’t want someone who can disembowel animals mad at me.”
Annoyance boiled inside me. “Yep.”
She watched me put a pistol back together. “I never would have guessed you were like this in school.”
“
Like what?”
“
All hunterish. You seemed so normal.”
“
I am normal.”
“
No. Normal people don’t know how to do that.”
“
Do what?”
“
Take guns apart. You’re like the father who cleans his guns when his daughter brings her first boyfriend home.”
“
That makes no sense, Lauren.”
“
Uh, yeah, it does.”
“
No it doesn’t. One, I don’t have a daughter. Two, I’m not trying to scare anyone to keep it in their pants and three—you’re just stupid.”
“
I’m stupid?” She raised an eyebrow and put her hand on her hip.
“
Yes. You are.”
“
Whatever. You’re the college dropout.” With a flip of her hair, she spun on her heel. I resembled my M9, thankful it wasn’t loaded. Cold, I joined the others in the living room, trying to cast off how irritated I was. It didn’t matter, I told myself.
I attempted to read. I hadn’t read for fun in God knows how long. I had only made it two pages when Lauren sat on the couch next to me. She began chattering to Padraic about her life at school. Along with annoying the piss out of me for the last several days, she made it a point to openly flirt with him. He was only half listening, too polite to tell her to shut the fuck up.
When she recanted—again—her story of how a modeling agency ‘practically begged her to sign’ I couldn’t take it anymore.
“
Oh my God, Lauren,” I spat, slamming my book shut. “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to find a spray bottle, fill it with zombie blood, and spray you in the face!”
“
Geeze, psycho much?” Lauren snorted.
“
Yeah. I’m crazy.
Real
crazy. And you’re the first person I’m going to fucking bite!”
“
Rissy?” Raeya asked softly. “Are you alright?”
“
Fine. I’m fine. I’m just an animal killing, crazy dunce.”
“
Ok.” She nodded. “As long as you’re ok with that.”
I dropped the book and stormed out of the room and onto the porch. The cold night air hit me, making me shiver. Raeya stepped out after me.
“
Rissy? What’s going on?”
“
Nothing. I’m fine.”
“
Don’t lie to me.”
“
Sorry. I can’t stand Lauren.”
“
Me neither. Try being stuck in an attic with her for days. Several times I contemplated pushing her out.”