Control (5 page)

Within
minutes I felt someone come up from behind and before I could react, a pair of
arms wrapped themselves around me.  I jerked away from the unwelcome
embrace and spun around to face my molester.

An
obviously intoxicated man that I’ve never seen before was standing there
swaying back and forth.  His breath reeked of alcohol and cigarettes and
he gave me a lewd grin.  His eyes violated my body and I didn’t even want
to know what he was imagining himself doing to me.  He started encroaching
even more into my personal space and I backed up until the bar kept me from
retreating farther.

“Hey
baby.  What’s a sexy girl like you doing sitting at a bar all by
yourself?”  He slurred his words and took a swig of whatever it was that
he was drinking.  He continued to leer at me and I attempted to slip away
from him by moving to the right.

His
arms reached out and grasped the front edge of the bar on either side of
me.  I was effectively trapped and I braced myself for whatever he was
planning to do next.

I
attempted to diffuse the situation and, in my best matter of fact voice,
stated, “I need to go to the restroom, so if you would kindly move your arms,
I’ll be on my way.”

He must
have taken my statement as an invitation because he immediately licked his lips
and moved in closer.  The smell coming off this man was vomit inducing and
I started to get angry.

“Sure thing
sexy.  Just point me in the direction you are going and I’ll join you.”

Figuring
this idiot was too wasted to take a hint, I decided to be more direct. 
“Seriously, Mister, back the fuck off and let me go!”  I pushed at his
chest to give myself some room for a retreat but this guy wasn’t taking no for
an answer.

“Come
on baby.  Don’t be like that.”  He leaned in closer and when his lips
brushed against my ear I saw red.

“Back
off, you drunk asshole!”  I shouted and pushed at him even more and that
only made him come on stronger.  Unfortunately this guy had about 150
pounds on me and my efforts weren’t budging him at all.

He let
go of the bar and then wrapped his arms around me to grab my ass.  His
fingers were digging into my flesh through the material of my jeans and I
reached behind me, grabbed his fingers and pulled them backwards as far as I
could.  I felt a snap from one of his fingers and he howled in pain.

“You
fucking bitch!”  He pulled his hands from behind me and grasped one hand
with the other in front of him.  He glared at me in his drunken stupor and
screamed in my face.  “You’ll pay for that bitch!  You broke my
fucking finger!”

He
cocked one arm back preparing to punch me and then a second set of arms wrapped
him in a headlock.  I looked to see who had grabbed the guy and my eyes
met with Daemon’s.  Daemon jerked the guy backwards off his feet and the
drink he was holding flew out of his hand and landed on my chest.

Daemon
spun and threw the guy in the opposite direction of me.  When his hand met
with the floor he howled in pain again.  Daemon quickly turned back to me
with a murderous glare in his eyes and asked if I was hurt.  I shook my
head in response and Daemon returned his attention to my molester who was
pushing himself up off the floor and climbing to his feet. He proceeded to get
into Daemon’s face and Daemon stepped toward him in challenge.

“What
the fuck man?!”  He held up his rapidly swelling hand. “That BITCH broke
my finger!”

Daemon
grabbed the guy by his shoulders and started shoving him towards the front
entrance.  When the guy pushed back at Daemon, I swear I heard Daemon
growl.

“It’s
obvious you have no clue how to treat a lady, so I’m sure you deserved it….”

I
jumped at the sound of his booming voice.  

“…now
take your drunk ass and get OUT of this club before I personally throw you
out!”  Daemon pointed to the front entrance and two other bouncers grabbed
the guy and started dragging him to the door.  Before they could move him
five feet away, he turned back to me.

“You’ll
pay for this you stupid whore!”

Oh
no.  He did not just utter fighting words
.  My blood started to boil.

I let
out a primal roar and lunged for him, fully prepared to jab his eyes out. 
Daemon grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back as the other bouncers
continued to drag the drunken idiot out the front door.  I continued
lunging forward and was kicking and screaming like a rabid animal attempting to
break free of Daemon’s hold.

“Let.
Me. Go!  That asshole needs a serious lesson in manners!” I futilely
pushed at Daemon’s arms which were wrapped like steel bands around my
midsection.  He must have finally had enough because he picked me up and
threw me over his shoulder.  He walked me to a back storage room and
closed and locked the door behind us.  He was smart enough to know that
the lock wouldn’t stop me, so he put me down and then barricaded the door with
his massive body.

Standing
this close to him, I realized he had to be at least 6’5” because I had to tilt
my head all the way up to give him my death glare.

“What
the hell?!”  I continued glaring. “I had that handled. Move out of my way
and let me out of here!”  I started pushing at his chest which was solid
as rock. He didn’t budge.

“I’m
not letting you leave here until you calm the fuck down.”

I stalked
over to the back of the storage room and began pacing back and forth.  I
took deep breaths in and out attempting to calm my heart rate and clear the
visions of homicide from my head.  Daemon stood there calmly waiting for
me to get myself under control.

After a
couple of minutes, I was finally able to face Daemon like a normal
person.  He raised an eyebrow at me then had the audacity to smile.

“Are we
done now?  Or do you need me to continue standing here making sure you
don’t see the inside of a jail cell or hospital room tonight?”

I
glared over into his crystal blue eyes and held up my hands in defeat.

“Fine. 
You’re right.  But that guy deserved more than a broken finger. 
First, he thought he had the right to grope me, but then to turn around and
call me a whore because I fought back against his advances? That’s just fucked
up.  That guy is an asshole!”

Daemon
nodded in agreement and let out a loud sigh.  He was quiet for a moment
and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  He looked at me and walked to a
shelf on the right side of the room.  He grabbed a brown package and
ripped it open to grab the napkins it contained.  Walking over to me, he
held out the napkins.  “Take this.  You’re soaking wet.”

I
remembered that the drunk idiot’s drink had spilled all over me.  I was so
damn angry I wasn’t paying attention to the fact that my shirt was stuck to me
from the moisture.  I accepted the napkins from Daemon and started patting
down my shirt.  I lifted the hem of my shirt to better dry my stomach and then
had to pull the top part down slightly to dry my chest.  When I looked
back to Daemon, his eyes had darkened and his gaze was locked on my body. 
He noticed that I had stopped moving and he shook his head and looked up at me.

“I have
to ask you something,” he stated bluntly.

I
looked up into his eyes.  “Shoot.”

He
cleared his throat and then looked down at his feet for a moment.  He
looked back up at me and asked, “Why did you react like that out there?”

I looked
away from him and retreated farther to the back.  “Like I said, he
deserved it.”

“I
agree that guy deserved more than what he got, but why did you react so
violently?  I know nothing about you, and I know it’s not my place to ask,
but has something happened to you that would cause you to react that way?”

My head
instantly shot up seeking out his signature smug look and I was knocked off
balance by the concern in his expression.  It occurred to me that Daemon
and I had only known each other for a little over three hours, yet, here he
was, asking me for personal tidbits about myself.  My gut instinct was to
tell him where he could stick that question, but considering he had just helped
me avoid a bar brawl, I decided I could give him this small consideration.

“Nothing’s
happened to me,” I said softly.

“What
was that?”

I must
have spoken too softly so I cleared my throat and spoke louder. “Nothing has
happened to me.”  He nodded his head in relief.

“Well
that’s good.  That makes me feel better; but I have to tell you, I’ve
never seen a woman react like that to some asshole getting handsy.”

I
huffed out a breath and allowed the rest of my anger to dissolve away.  It
was time for the abnormal childhood speech.

“My
parents operate an abused woman’s facility in the panhandle.  They spend
most of their time there so, naturally, I spent a lot of time there growing
up.  I’ve seen too many cases of women broken by guys like him and I tend
to react badly when men try that shit with me.”

“Well,
that’s definitely understandable.  I imagine I’d be the same way if I grew
up seeing things like that.” 

God
he was gorgeous when he wasn’t being a prick.

Sharing
time had caused an awkward silence to stretch between us.  Not able to
handle it any longer, I said, “Well, anyway, this has been a great heart to
heart and all, but I’ve calmed down now so I believe it’s time for me to
go.”  I made a move towards the door and he reluctantly turned to unlock
it and open it for me.  I silently passed by him and walked out the door
into the bar area.

I made
my way to the front entrance and waved goodbye to Logan as I passed him.

As I
walked out the front door, I turned left towards the side street where I had
parked my bike.  I felt a presence behind me and turned to find that
Daemon had followed me out.  I put one hand up as if to block him from
following me.

“Stop. 
Why are you still behind me?”

He look
confused for a second and then replied, “I’m walking you to your car.” 

My independent
instincts kicked in and I started to protest. “First, I don’t have a car; I
rode my bike.  Second, I don’t need you to walk me anywhere.  I can
manage on my own.”

“You
rode a bicycle here?!”

I
chuckled to myself at the mental imagery that question elicited. “No.  I
rode my
motorcycle
here.”

His
eyes widened in understanding and he looked like he was about to give me the
speech about the dangers of motorcycles.  He must have reconsidered
because it took him a moment to respond.

“That’s
fine.  But I’m still walking you.  My boys tossed that guy out of
here less than twenty minutes ago and he could still be waiting around for you
to leave.”

I
scoffed.  “I don’t need a bodyguard, Big Guy.  I can handle
myself.  I’m not even sure why we are having this conversation because I
believe I made it clear with you earlier that I don’t need rescuing.” I brushed
him away with my hand.  “Now skip along, Skippy, because I can manage all
by my lonesome.”

The
smug expression came over his face again. His voice was antagonistic as he
drawled, “I don’t know about that.  By my count, you’ve needed rescuing
three times this evening, my little damsel.”

And
there it was
. 

Any
warm and fuzzies I had for this guy a second ago were instantly replaced with a
deep seated hatred of all things Daemon.  I turned to him to finally get
my point across.

I
pointed my finger up into his face and said, “You know what?! I don’t need
anything from you or anybody else.  So fuck you buddy…”

He
flinched.

“…and fuck
the white horse you rode in on.”

I
turned and started to walk away and he continued to follow behind me all the
way to my bike. It was late at night so the streets were empty except for the
people returning home from the clubs.  The night air was cool and it
carried the smell of oncoming rain.  The streetlights cast an eerie glow
on the black streets and the sidewalks were lined with replica antique light
posts.  Shadows were cast across our path from the large Live Oaks that
lined the street and the moss hanging from the branches swung lazily in the
breeze.  I refused to acknowledge him and when I reached my bike, I put on
my helmet and climbed on to ride home.  I started the ignition and revved
the engine a couple of times to allow it to warm up.  I kicked the bike
into gear and pulled away.  His eyes were still watching me as a drove
off.

I
arrived at the apartment and stood at the base of the stairs regretting having
accepted an apartment on the third floor.  I started my trek up what felt
like twelve flights and turned the corner to my door.  I opened the door
and then closed it quietly behind me.  Annie and David were in bed and
Alex had fallen asleep on the couch watching horror movies.  I was
exhausted from my craptastic evening but the situation was too much to
resist.  I walked over to the television and turned it to the static
channel.  I turned up the volume to add more of a spooky effect and I
turned to make sure that the noise hadn’t awoken Alex.  When I saw that he
was still sleeping, I tiptoed into the kitchen and grabbed Annie’s rubber
lobster oven mitt.  I tiptoed back behind Alex and grabbed his face with
the mitt, growling as loud as I could.

Alex
immediately woke up and shrieked.  He jumped up from the couch and was swinging
his arms around attempting to hit anything in his vicinity.  He knocked
over a lamp and then jumped from the sound of the shattered ceramic.  He
stood still for a second and then rubbed at his sleepy eyes so that he could
see clearly.  Once he spotted me, his face turned a deep shade of scarlet.

“Not
cool, Paige!”

I
started laughing so hard I had to clutch at my sides from the cramping and fell
to the floor.  I was rolling on the ground laughing as Alex walked up
beside me.  He looked down at me and grinned while waiting for me to stop
laughing.  I wiped the tears from my eyes and reached up for his
hands.  He grab my outstretched arms and pulled me up into an
embrace.  He kissed me on my forehead and then lightly kissed me on my
nose. 

His
silver eyes darkened and his mouth softly brushed against mine.  I tilted
my head up to him in acceptance of this closeness and he lowered his mouth to
mine again.  I parted my lips and his tongue ran along my bottom lip and I
opened more to allow him entrance.  I touched my tongue to the barbell in
his and he let out a low moan that somehow pulled on my southern regions. 
Our kiss was languid and he slowly ran his hands up my sides.  I pushed my
hands into his hair and pulled him closer to me.  He reached around to caress
my breasts and stopped suddenly.  He started to pull away and I grazed my
teeth along his bottom lip as we lost contact.

“Paige? 
What the hell?  Why is your shirt all wet?”

Crap, I
had forgotten yet again that I was wearing someone’s drink.

He continued. 
“You reek of alcohol.  Have you been drinking and driving your bike?”

I
started to walk back towards my bedroom and Alex followed.  I stripped off
my shirt and tossed it in the hamper then sat on the bed to start taking off my
boots.  I looked up into Alex’s expectant face.

“No, I
haven’t been drinking.  I mean, I had one beer, but that was when I first
got there.”  I tugged off my left boot and re-crossed my legs to pull off
the right one. “The night was a disaster Alex.  It was like the universe decided
that it was ‘Crap on Paige Day’.”

I
pulled my boot off and then tossed it on the floor next to the other one. 
I laid back on the bed and I felt the mattress sink when Alex sat down beside
me.

“Tell
me about it.”  He reached over and started running his fingers lightly
against my bare, outstretched stomach.

“It’s a
long story, I’m tired, and I don’t really feel like recanting the tale tonight.
What I will tell you is that it involved a pit mishap, a broken finger, and two
chauvinist pigs.”

Alex
shuddered.  “Pigs.  I hate pigs.”

I
laughed and then sat up and patted Alex on the leg.  “I’m jumping in the
shower.  You’re welcome to sleep in here with me so you don’t get a crick
in your neck sleeping on the living room couch.” 

Alex
smiled up at me and nodded his head in acceptance of my offer.  He grabbed
his shirt from the back and pulled it over his head, tossing the shirt onto the
floor by my boots. He stood up and started unbuttoning the jeans that hung off
his hips perfectly. I took a second admiring his form.  Alex had colorful
sleeve tattoos along both arms and a large piece on his back.  Lines of
small script ran along his ribs.  Even though he didn’t need the help,
those colorful markings only accented his perfect physique.  I have had
many opportunities to explore Alex’s toned, athletic build and I swear the man
must have been molded from clay. 

I
reluctantly peeled my eyes off him and I turned to go into the bathroom. 
I turned on the water and started to strip out of my jeans and underwear while
waiting for the water to heat.  After a few seconds, steam started pouring
out and I walked under the spray. The water helped to relieve me of the tension
from earlier and I grabbed a wash cloth and body soap and lathered myself up in
order to rinse away any remnants of the alcohol I wore home.  Images of
Daemon started playing through my head and it annoyed me that my body reacted
to him with lust and desire, while my mind wanted nothing to do with his
arrogance.   I sighed and thought about what a shame it was that
someone as beautiful as him could be so ugly on the inside.  Regardless of
his out of control ego, the man was absolutely breathtaking.  If I were
more of a foolish girl, I could see myself easily getting lost in those crystal
blue eyes of his.  Logan’s warning started repeating itself in my head and
I cringed at the thought of the countless women Daemon had taken home. 
That thought alone was enough to free me of my reverie.

I
turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around me.  I shuffled
into my closet and put on a pair of underwear and pulled on an old oversized
Ramones
t-shirt that I stole from David.

I
climbed in bed and cuddled up next to Alex.  He was still awake and he
wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer.  Curling into his side was
comforting and familiar.  Traces of his cologne mixed with his natural
scent and the smell was intoxicating.  He slowly trailed his hands up and
down my arm.  I was starting to fall asleep when I felt Alex turn to trail
kisses down the side of my face.  I shifted position to give him access to
my mouth and he slowly placed his mouth on mine.  Our tongues started to
move together and he turned so that his body was pressing into mine.  I
could feel his excitement pressing into my thigh and, although I was exhausted
and wanted sleep, I couldn’t deny him this comfort.  There were never
butterflies or fireworks in my feelings for Alex, but his touch and his
closeness could always erase whatever tension I had inside me.

Alex
reached down and began a slow lazy trail with his hands up my thighs, pulling
my oversized T-shirt along with him.  He continued to kiss me lazily as he
lifted the hem of my shirt.  I raised my arms above my head so that he
could remove it and he tossed it aside.   I rubbed my hands over his
broad chest and we looked at each other in the scant traces of light that came
in through the window to our right.  The man was beautiful.  There
was no other word to describe him.  Every part of him looked like it was
chiseled from stone but his naturally tan coloring softened him to the point
where you couldn’t help but want to run your hands over the smooth skin. 

Alex
bent down and started placing kisses on my stomach.  I ran my hands over
his shoulders and down his back as he continued to kiss his way up to my
ribs.  His hand caressed my breast and he took it into his mouth.  I
arched into him from the feel of his warm mouth on me.  He teased the tip
of my breast with his tongue and the suction of his mouth caused the tip to
harden into a small pebble.  He turned his attention to the other breast
and a soft moan escaped my lips upon contact.

I
pushed my hands though Alex’s hair and pulled him up to my mouth.  His
lips pressed into mine and his body shifted between my legs.   There
was no need to rush what was happening between us.   There was no
passionate force in this, no driving desire to totally and completely consume
the other.  What we had was perfect for me because I had the comforting
closeness of another soul, but my heart could remain protected in the walls I
constructed around it so long ago.  There were times when I felt selfish
for allowing this between us.  Although I knew I could walk away unbroken
when this eventually came to an end, I wasn’t sure the same could be said for
Alex.  He never voices an emotion that goes beyond the line I drew for him
years ago, but I often suspect he hopes that, someday, I can give him more.

When we
had touched and tasted and driven each other to a point of desperation for more,
Alex slid his boxers down and his hands grazed my hips as he stripped me of my
underwear.  His fingers teased along my core and a low growl erupted from
within him when he discovered my readiness.  He pushed into me slowly and
paused before continuing the slow, lazy rhythm.  My head tilted back when
he filled me and a quiet moan escaped my lips.  We rocked into each other
and our hands continued their exploration of our bodies.   A slow
fire began to burn down below and my tension released further as he pushed
deeper and an explosion started to build within me. Alex’s rhythm became faster
and harder as we moved towards release together.  We locked eyes as our
bodies climaxed in unison and once the final tremors had finished tearing
through us both, Alex bent down and placed the gentlest of kisses on my
mouth.  I smiled a lazy and satisfied grin at him and he reached up with
his hand to caress my cheek.  The look on Alex’s face was one of adoration
and love and my guilt consumed me.  I wished so much that I could give
this beautiful man the parts of myself that he deserved, but no matter how
badly I wanted that, my heart would not respond.  I broke eye contact with
him and he moved to the side to let me up.   Alex learned a long time
ago that I’m not the type to cuddle after sex.  It was a means to end and
any emotion that came with it was uncomfortable for me.   

I
pushed off of the bed, never making eye contact with him, and I walked into the
bathroom to clean up.  I returned to the bed and Alex was laying on his
back staring at the ceiling.  The look on his face was a mixture of
frustration and hurt and the guilt tore at me more when I realized I had caused
that pain.  I laid down beside him and started to hug my arms around him,
but he pushed himself up and walked to the bathroom.  He closed the door
behind him and I sighed.  I threw my arm over my eyes and considered
releasing Alex from what was between us.  I loved him too much to cause
him pain, but I was not in love with him and I wasn’t able to give him what he
needed most.  Alex opened the door after a few minutes and silently made
his way back to the bed.  He reached out his arms and pulled me until my
back was pressed against his chest.  No words were exchanged and I finally
fell into a deep sleep beside him.

~

The
sun outside was blazing down on my skin as I lay amongst the grasses and
wildflowers of the backyard.  It was May in Florida and every year at this
time, clouds of all shapes and sizes would be floating along the breezes that blew
across the wetlands.  A natural harmony of sounds would surround you and
the high pitched birdcalls would complement and contrast with the croaking of
the frogs.  Every once in a while you would hear a fast buzzing as the
dragonflies shot across your path.  The light would shine off their
incandescent wings when they landed on the marsh grasses, each flutter of their
wings gave the illusion of sparkles. 

Momma
used to tell me that dragonflies were the spirits of our loved ones returning
to make sure we were okay.  She said that if you saw one it was a reminder
that, even in death, our love for each other never dies.  I was five and I
didn’t truly understand the concept of death.  I was still attempting to
learn the meaning of being alive and my young mind couldn’t wrap itself around
the idea that we wouldn’t always exist.  I believed that all those
creatures were connected in some way; and that I was a part of them as well.

A
turtle popped his head up from the waterline beside me.  I sat up and
brushed myself off and I stared at that turtle as he slowly pushed himself
through the water.  Small bubbles and ripples would form on the surface of
the water as fish came up to catch insects and other small food.  I heard
footsteps behind me but didn’t need turn around to know who was approaching
me.  Buddy came up beside me and the turtle’s head went back under the
water from his movement.  I squinted up at Buddy and the sun seared my
blue eyes with its brilliant light.

“Wanna
climb trees?”

I
thought about it for a second and then nodded my head yes.  He reached
down and took my hands to help me stand up.  We ran over to the giant
Camphor trees that shaded the yards closest to the building.  Buddy jumped
up to the lowest branch first and then reached down to pull me into the apex
made at the base of the large branches of the tree.  Once I was up there,
he started climbing the branch to his right and I went up the branch to the
left.  We silently climbed as high as we could go, a wordless challenge to
the other as to who could go farther.  I always won these challenges
because I was smaller and could safely traverse the thinner web of branches at
the top.  Buddy would watch as I made my way up and I would smile at him
when I realized I had won.  When I had gone far enough, I climbed back
down and, together, we would make our way back to the ground.  When our
feet touched earth we would race to the next tree and do it all over
again.