Control You (13 page)

The flash of anger shifting through his eyes made me drop my gaze to my shoes. My nose tingled as my heart pounded in my chest. All I wanted to do was make this better, make this argument end. I could feel my blood pressure shooting through the roof. What the hell was I supposed to say here?

Glancing around, I noticed Cameron had already left. I was glad. He didn’t need to hear how Craig was behaving, the things he was saying. I pursed my lips together and held Craig’s intense stare while I debated on what words to use. A smug smile twisted the corners of his lips and a pang of panic floated through me at the sight of it.

“You’re into him, aren’t you? That’s why you won’t listen to me when I tell you to stay away from him. You’re into the whole bad boy thing he’s got going on, because you want to rebel against mommy and daddy some, right? I’ve seen it before.” His smirk grew, but his eyes darkened. “You want to be his little fucking
whore
now, isn’t that right? You want to be added to his long list?”

His words were like a physical slap to the face. I’d never been called such a nasty word before, not by anyone, and most definitely not by a boyfriend. I was stunned into silence, but the moment didn’t last. I shook my head, and my pulse throbbed in my ears. “No, I didn’t ask him for the money. I don’t need the money. I’ve worked something out with my parents. He did that on his own.”

Craig stared at me, his smile tightened. “So he was just being nice; that’s what you’re trying to tell me?”

I shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, I never asked him for anything.”

He laughed. The sound of it was jarring, nothing friendly spurred from it, only raw disbelief. “Right, that you know of. You’ve led him on and made me look like an idiot, Paige.”

I blinked rapidly, realizing how he would see that as the truth. “I can understand how you would think that and I’m sorry, but that’s not the case. Honestly, Cameron just has some great ideas for my shop, and that’s all we were talking about tonight. There’s nothing going on between us, okay? I had no idea he would put a deposit on that shop for me. I promise.” I reached out and laced my fingers through his.

He pressed his lips together and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I don’t like coming by to surprise you after your shift and finding you walking around talking with him instead of closing up the shop like you’d said you’d be doing. I don’t like having to hear about your goals and aspirations through a conversation you’re having with him either.”

He cocked his head to the side and stared directly into my eyes. They were so severe and penetrating that I had to force myself not to look away because I knew he wouldn’t like it. He obviously hadn’t let go of the last argument we’d had involving Cameron and me.

He sighed before continuing. “Do you see how this all looks? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?” His voice was low and soft; it made guilt swell in my chest, climb up my throat, and choke me.

“I’m sorry.” I meant it, hating the way that I’d made him feel.

“Kiss me and let me know,” he demanded.

Without hesitation, I lifted up the few inches I needed in order to lock lips with him, and pressed my lips against his. He squeezed my hands in his once…twice…and then released them to cup my face. His lips pressed against mine with more force than I wanted, but I didn’t pull away. If this was what he needed to make himself feel better about us, to put an end to this argument, then so be it.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to get into the kiss more than I was, but it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t get his words and expressions out of my head. They twisted and mingled with the other moments with him and filed away inside my mind like the rest. His thumbs brushed against my cheeks as he deepened the kiss even more. I knew I’d reflect on this moment tonight later, when I was alone. I’d dissect everything he’d said as well as every hot-tempered glare, so I could be sure I never did anything again that would give him a reason for a repeat of his behavior.

Craig’s hands squeezed my face tighter and I fought not to pull away. When he finally let go and took a step back, I was relieved. The skin around his eyes bunched as he stared at me in a pained way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you like that.”

The tightness in my muscles loosened and I leaned into him a little more. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked with him as long as I did. I should have told him he needed to get his deposit money back or something.”

Craig’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer. “You should have. It’s almost like he’s staking claim on you or something by doing that. It was completely out of line on his part and, I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty pissed you didn’t say something like that to him.”

“I know.” Guilt crept through me again. I buried my face into his chest and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s go somewhere. I need you.” His hands, the ones that had been splayed across my back, dipped down to skim over my butt. “Now.”

I chuckled nervously at his sudden urgency. Sex was the last thing I wanted from him right now. “Blaire is probably home, but I could text her and see.”

“No, we’re going to my place. My parents are both away visiting with my mom’s sister up north.”

I hated to ask. I didn’t want to say his name, but it was unavoidable. “Won’t Cameron be there?”

Craig’s jaw tensed at the mention of his name, just like I knew it would. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been for the last few nights, but so what if he is?” The smug smile from moments ago was back into place. “I want him to hear us. Then he’ll know you’re mine.”

My stomach knotted and I drew my eyebrows together. What was he, a freaking caveman? “I don’t know if I’m up for that.”

He reached out and cupped my face, this time more delicately than before, and brushed his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Paige, I’m sorry I’m so damn insecure when it comes to you. You’re so amazing and beautiful. I don’t ever want to lose you. Please forgive the way I acted and the harsh things I said. I know I was intense for a bit, but I’m just passionate when it comes to you. I was only joking about him hearing us. He more than likely won’t even be there. Please, come home with me.”

He looked sincere. The brightness in his eyes had come back full force, and the dimple in his chin was deepened by his smile. His words were soft and emotional. He’d opened up to me some, allowing me to see one of his flaws—he was insecure—this was something new. We’d never fought like that before; maybe makeup sex was what he needed for closure.

I leaned in and pecked his lips. “Let’s go.”

His eyes flashed with satisfaction. “You’ll spend the night?”

“Of course.” I stepped away and unlocked my car to grab out my purse. “But you’ll have to bring me back in the morning to get my car.”

“I can do that.” He grinned.

There was my happy Craig. It was as though the other version had never surfaced and I liked it.

CAMERON

I was sick of staying at someone else’s place while I was here. After folding the blankets Eva let me borrow again, I called Scott and asked for the keys to my parents’ old place. My plan was to gut the inside and start from scratch with it. It needed to be my own. When I came back into town next quarter, I wanted to have a place to stay. I could hire all the help I needed to keep the house in running order, and then maybe one day Scott would realize he could sell it to me.

Opening the front door, I listened to the creak it made echo through the house. It was silent in here, too silent. That was the first thing I needed to fix if I was planning on getting anything done while here. I went straight to the kitchen and plugged in the speakers Eva had brought with us, and then hooked up my phone to them. I had four music apps, but I didn’t want to hear them right now. Instead, I found Sublime in my music file and tapped shuffle.

“All right, I’m gonna set these boxes in the middle of the living room floor.” Eva walked past me, her arms loaded with broken-down cardboard boxes. “What room do you want to start in?”

I grinned, loving that she was here with me.
Doin’ Time
by Sublime came on and blasted through the house that had been dead, bringing it to life again, and my smile grew. “The kitchen, so bring some of them in here.”

She rounded the corner with a stack in her arms. “What are you smiling at?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m just glad you’re here is all.”

“Whatever.” She laid the boxes on the counter and put her hands on her hips. “You’re listening to the words to this song, aren’t you? Jesus, you need to get laid.”

I chuckled. “Is that something you’re willing to help me out with, Miss Bennett?”

“In your dreams.” She grinned.

I put a box together and set it in the middle of the floor. “Been there, done that, quite a few times actually.”

She slapped me on the arm, hard, and laughed. “I’m sure. Now get your mind out of the gutter and pack a fucking box!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Opening up the first cabinet closest to me, I stared at its contents and had to force myself to take in a shaky breath. This was going to be harder than I’d thought—packing up my parents’ belongings meant they were gone, truly gone.

Warm, delicate arms wrapped around me from behind. “Take in another deep breath, Cam. It’s going to be okay. I’m here with you; you’re not alone this time.”

Leaning into Eva, I closed my eyes and did as she’d said. God, I loved her. There was no one else I wanted here with me while I did this besides her. She was my best friend. My life preserver in this moment of weakness I was drowning in.

Images of the last time I’d attempted to pack up my parents’ things flashed through my mind—all the alcohol and cocaine I’d foolishly used, thinking it would dull the pain while I packed their stuff alone. All it had done was drown me even more in my emotions; it intensified them to the point where I couldn’t take it. An image of the razor I’d used—the one that had stared at me, begging me to use it the right way—flitted through my mind.

Taking in another deep breath, I felt Eva’s arms tighten around me as she pressed her head into my back a little more. I gripped the edge of the counter and dropped my head as the image I was hoping wouldn’t surface did—the moment I’d sliced my wrist open while wishing it would all end.

A cold sweat broke out across my skin and I took in another deep breath, attempting to gain control of myself. It wasn’t working. Fuck. It wasn’t working. My heart was racing and my palms were growing sweaty. “Maybe this was a bad idea,” I gritted out.

“No, it wasn’t,” Eva insisted. She released me and spun me to face her.

Pressing my palms into my eyes, I felt the cold prickles of panic shoot through my chest and outward. “No, I don’t think I can do this yet. I’m not ready.”

“Look at me,” she bit out. Her hands gripped my wrists and I jumped, the touch on my scar seeming heightened. “Look at me, Cam. Now.”

I opened my eyes and stared into her ocean blue ones. “You can do this. It’s time, okay? You need to do this for closure. You’re stronger now than you were a year ago.”

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Eva was the only girl to ever see me cry and me not give a fuck, because I knew it didn’t diminish her view of my manhood at all.

“Eva, I fucking don’t think I can. I’m seeing the same shit again.” I gripped my wrist and pressed it firmly to my chest as though it were an open wound again and I was attempting to stop the bleeding like that night.

“Stop it, Cam.” Her voice was calm, but severe. It was exactly the tone I needed from her. “It’s okay. That was the past and this is now. You’ve got this. I’m here with you. Let’s pack this box together, okay? We’ll do their room last this time.”

My heart thudded in my throat, and my stomach churned at the mention of my parents’ bedroom. I’d attempted to start in there last time, and had only emptied out their dresser and one nightstand before I started in heavily on the drugs and alcohol I’d brought to see me through the process. I was high as a kite and eaten up with emotions while packing their things. When I went to chop out my next line, the razorblade looked more appealing to be used in another way.

“Kitchen, Cam, pots and pans, dishes, silverware—you can do this.” Her voice took on a coaxing tone. It pulled me from my thoughts and forced me to look at her and her alone. “Let’s get some decent music on and get to it.” She left me standing there, taking all the warmth with her. I felt the coldness pressing on my mind sweep through my body again.

Leaning against the counter, I tipped my head back to glance at the ceiling. I pulled some measured breaths into my lungs, and then exhaled. Fishing in my pocket, I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one. The Sublime song that had been playing stopped abruptly and Nerd’s
Lap Dance
blasted through her tiny speakers. I rubbed my face with my hand and felt the hint of a smile twist at the corners of my lips.

“There you go, loosen up, smile,” she shouted over the music. “Let the beat into your soul, baby.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. Did you just call me baby?” I chuckled.

“I did.”

“Thought you didn’t like pet names.”

She cocked her head to the side and smiled at me. “I don’t, but I felt like using one to get a rise out of you. From the grin on your face right now, I can see that it worked.”

My grin grew. Damn, she really knew how to get me out of a funk. I walked over to where she stood and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here with me right now.”

Eva rubbed her hands across my back and let me hold her for a moment. “I know. I’m glad you let me come with you this time.”

PAIGE

“What’s that?” Holly stared at the doodle I’d been creating for the last thirty minutes. “Are you drawing the inside of a store?” Her nose scrunched up and I smiled.

“I am. It’s a sketch of the clothing store I’m planning on opening in a few months.” I didn’t want to say weeks just yet, because I wasn’t sure how things would go. I really needed to sit down and figure things out.