Convincing Constance (The Blow Hole Boys) (19 page)

I knew I was stupid
for going along with it, but he caught me at a bad time. I’d been downstairs, bored out of my mind and unable to go to sleep. I was having a shitty moment and thinking I’d be alone for the rest of my life, and then all of a sudden, there he was.

It was only one night and I was an adult. I could handle a one-night stand with Tony. We both knew it would never be more than that, but we were obviously both lonely, and the one thing I could say was the sex was always wonderful with Tony.

I stepped into his room and turned to face him. His smile was one of relief when he looked down at me. And then the craziest thing happened. He pulled me to him, wrapped his arms around me, and buried his face in my hair as he held me close.

I stood there, confused, before I finally put my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

“Tony?” I asked hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

He leaned back and placed a soft, unexpected kiss on my lips. “I am now,” he whispered.

Pulling his face down to mine, I kissed him again. His hands got lost in my hair and the dam broke. What started out slow and sweet turned into something chaotic. Four long years settled between us and turned us into greedy people who couldn’t get enough of each other.

He turned me, lifting me onto the counter that held the complimentary coffee maker, and I wasted no time pulling his shirt from his body. He was so hard and soft against my hands as I ran them over his shoulders and down his chest.

“No one touches me like you do.” He moaned against the side of my neck before he captured my lips again. “Just you,” he said between kisses.

His hands slid around my waist and slowly undid my belt. I cursed myself for wearing pants and silently wished for a short skirt he could push up and have out of the way in no time.

Once he pulled my belt from its loops, he tugged at the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. His eyes devoured my skin and I leaned back, letting him look at all of me. It felt good to be so free with another person. I hadn’t felt that way since being with Tony years before.

“You’re so beautiful, Constance. So fucking beautiful,” he said as he sucked at the skin popping out of the top of my bra.

I wanted his mouth all over me, so I reached back and unhooked my bra. He kept kissing and sucking as he pulled my bra straps down my arms and threw my bra across the room.

He sucked a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, and I wrapped my hands around the back of his head and pulled his mouth onto me more. I couldn’t get enough.

Lifting me from the counter, he carried me over to the bed and followed me down onto the mattress.

“I want to taste all of you,” he said against my stomach as he worked his way down my body.

His fingers dipped into the top of my jeans as he unbuttoned and unzipped them. I lifted my hips as he peeled my pants from my body, slowly kissing the inside of my thighs.

As usual, he left my panties on and kissed around them, leaving me panting and pushing his head where I wanted his mouth the most.

“Please, Tony,” I begged as I spread my legs wider and lifted myself to his mouth.

He grinned up at me before he ran his tongue up the crease of the inside of my leg, letting it dip into the side of my panties on occasion.

“You’re driving me crazy,” I said into the pillow as I tried to cover my mouth with it.

And then he pushed my panties to the side and sucked my throbbing clit into his mouth. I almost came apart at that second, but he prolonged it by taking slow swipes at my sensitivity with his tongue.

He licked and sucked until I was squirming all over the bed, pulling up the fresh sheets and blankets with me.

He dug his hands into my hips, holding them in place as he sweetly tortured me with his tongue, lips, and fingers. And then I shattered. Screaming out his name with my hands holding his head to my body, I convulsed and came for him.

When I came back down, he was kissing his way back up my body. I had barely caught my breath before he was kissing me. I tasted my sweetness on his tongue as he pressed his rough jeans against my center. I went to work on his belt and tugged on his buttons at the same time. He chuckled into my mouth at my impatience.

When I had his pants undone, he helped me push them down his hips and kicked them onto the floor. He gathered me into his arms as he looked down into my eyes and pushed his body into mine.

“I want to be inside you forever,” he said as he worked his hips against mine.

I ran my hands down his moist back and relished in the way his muscles worked beneath my fingertips with each thrust.

Our eyes were locked, and I watched as unadulterated pleasure washed over his face, forcing him to close his eyes briefly and give in to it.

I dug my fingers into his ass cheeks, pushing him for more. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip and his breath quickened.

“Constance,” he said breathlessly as his eyes locked with my mine again.

“Don’t stop,” I said.

I could feel the rise, and every time his body entered mine, I climbed higher and higher until I was standing on the cliff, waiting to take the plunge. And then he took over completely and soft and sweet got harder and faster.

He tugged at my leg, lifting it onto his thigh, going deeper and deeper. And then I fell. Crashing onto him as he crashed into me, I yelled out my release, drawing blood from his back. His shoulders tensed and he growled out his own release as we fell over the ledge together.

He collapsed on top of me and I held him close as we caught our breath. Moving to my side, he gathered me in his arms and kissed the side of my face.

I turned in his arms and he spooned me from behind. I lay there staring into the dark room and wondered what the hell I was doing. I’d forgotten all about staying on course. It was as if I stepped out of myself.

I couldn’t let what happened turn into something. It was just sex. I didn’t think I could go through another heartbreak because of Tony, and as wonderful as the sex had been, the reasons we broke up four years before still existed. He still had a problem and I was still too afraid of what drugs could do to a person.

Seconds turned to minutes, and I continued to lie there.

“Constance?” He checked to see if I was still awake.

Instead of answering, I pretended to sleep.

I didn’t know what he wanted to talk about, but I was sure I had no answers. I was sure what we did was a mistake, and I was sure my heart wouldn’t make it through Tony again.

“I love you,” he whispered into my hair, and I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tear that escaped and ran down my cheek and onto my pillow.

An hour later, I was
still staring at the room in front of me. By that point, Tony was snoring softly into my neck.

I pulled away slowly, making sure not to wake him, and he rolled onto his back with a sleepy grin.

I stood from the bed and stared down at his naked body. He really was amazing naked. My eyes moved from his thighs up over his abdominal muscles and cuts and landed on the tattoo of an anchor on his chest.

I gasped.

As quickly as I could, I gathered my clothes and stepped into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I flipped on the light and stared at myself in the mirror. I’d made a lot of mistakes in my life, but allowing myself to fall into his trap again was probably the dumbest.

I knew what was coming after our night together. I’d never been addicted to drugs, but I liked to think of Tony as a drug. Once I had a little, I needed more. My body and mind couldn’t function without a little bit of him to get me through the day.

It was time I went cold turkey completely. No more innocent flirting. No more anything.

Before I pulled my shirt over my head, I turned to the side to look at my new tattoo on my shoulder blade. An anchor similar to his. It reminded me that no matter what, I had to stay the course. I had to stay grounded because people who didn’t stay grounded were bound to float away.

I stretched and enjoyed the
feel of my loose muscles. Constance was better than any muscle relaxer prescribed. I turned on my side, ready to scoop her back into my arms, and was met with an empty bed.

I sat up quickly and looked around the room to find all her clothes gone. There was a first time for everything, and for the first time ever, a girl had left me after sex.

I slung the covers from my naked body and her sweet scent swarmed around me. I went straight to the shower to wake myself up. Flashes of the night before came to me. When I closed my eyes, I could still see her face in mid-orgasm. The pleasure in her eyes and slight smile on her lips. She was it. She was mine. She just didn’t know it yet.

She was avoiding me. I
knew this because I didn’t see her again until we did a sound check in Charlotte, North Carolina. I felt like shit since I hadn’t slept much. We were getting close to my old stomping grounds in South Carolina, which meant old memories of the accident and nightmares were keeping me up at night.

I stood on the side stage with Finn and watched as the girls played a few of their songs.

“Are you going to tell me what happened in New York?” Finn asked.

“What do you mean? Nothing happened.”

He looked at me and gave me an expression that said he wasn’t stupid.

“You’ve been different since we left there. You’re quiet, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve gotten out of hand with your pills.”

My head snapped up and I looked over at him, confused. I knew Finn knew I had issues since the accident, but regardless of what Constance said, I had no idea he knew anything about my pill problem.

“What? You didn’t think I knew?” He shook his head. “I used to think I was a bad friend because I didn’t step up and say something, but Zeke told me to butt out. He said when you were ready, you’d get help on your own.” He chuckled to himself. “But Zeke was wrong. The fucker usually is. Something is changing you, and I think maybe it’s Constance. A woman will do that to you, though. Just slow down with the pills and be careful. Good luck, man,” he said with a pat on the shoulder. “Lord knows you’ll need it with that one.” He nodded to Constance.

He laughed and walked away.

He was right. I was getting out of hand, but being with her just one night only intensified everything that was bothering me. She was more addictive than anything prescribed, smoked, or snorted. I’d had a taste and I wanted more. The pills were just a replacement for her, my favorite drug.

Later, after the show, I went to her room. It was time we had a talk. The air between us needed to be cleared, and I wanted her to know I was all in. I’d try my best to lay off the pills and anything else that was keeping us apart.

I knocked on her door and waited. And then the door opened and Shane from Savage Will was standing there looking back at me.

The air was sucked from my lungs. I wanted to put my fist through his face, but instead, I shook my head and turned and walked away. I was done. I was beyond fucking done. No woman was going to play games with my mind. I had better shit I could be doing with my day and plenty of women who wanted what I had to offer.

That night, I went out with Chet and got so fucked up I couldn’t stand on my own. Finn and Zeke had to come and pick me up and they literally had to carry me. I didn’t remember any of that, but the next day when Zeke was bitching about it, he filled me in.

That was how things went from there on out. I’d stand on the sidelines all pissed off, and I’d watch as Red Room Sirens took off on the music scene while Constance ignored me.

We were in Florida by the time we talked to each other again. Go figure it was on a fucking elevator. I was going up to my room on the top floor, and she got on, on floor five, to also go to her room on the top floor.

I leaned against the wall with my hands in my pockets and stared at the back of her head. My emotions were high. My anger bursting at the seams. There was so much I wanted to say, but all I could picture was Shane opening the door to her room, looking like a self-satisfied piece of shit.

“I can’t believe how much of a puss you turned out to be,” I spat.

I couldn’t take it anymore. The words had festered just below the surface for days and they needed to be said.

She turned and crossed her arms over her chest like she was ready to fight. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I always thought you were such a bad bitch. I thought you weren’t scared of anything, but you’ve walked away twice out of fear. It’s pathetic.”

She stepped up closer to me and matched my stare. “You know what I think’s pathetic? A grown man who can’t make it through his day without taking a pill.”

Her words cut deep and I could feel my face turn red out of anger. Heat expanded behind my eyes and everything around me sounded fuzzy. She’d definitely hit her target, and her expression turned smug the minute she realized it.

“Who’s the pussy now?” She scoffed.

I snapped.

I grabbed her by the top of her arms and slung her against the elevator wall, pinning her. She glared up at me and tried to get loose from my grasp.

“You’re a bitch.”

I’d never spoken to a woman that way, but she had pushed me too hard. I was losing it—exploding from the years of pressure building inside of me.

“Are you just now noticing that?” she countered.

“Fuck you.” I snarled.

“No. Fuck you,” she hissed.

And then she shocked me by moving in and slamming her mouth against mine. I pushed her away and she looked up at me, full of excitement, and licked her lips. The bitch was getting off on our fight.

She came at me again and pulled my mouth to hers, and again, I pushed her away and pinned her to the wall. The elevator dinged and opened. I turned to get off, but she pulled me to her and reached out and pushed a random button, making the door close.

“I want you,” she said as she turned and pinned me to the wall. “Right here, right now.”

I wanted to play along, but all I could think about was her fucking Shane. That, and I knew I couldn’t wake up another morning and find her gone.

“I don’t want Shane’s sloppy seconds,” I snapped.

She stopped. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I came to your door in Charlotte and he answered.” The elevator door opened and a couple stood there waiting to get on.

“Get the next one,” Constance said as she pressed another random number and let the door close in their face. Then she turned on me. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe he was there for Lena? We do share a room sometimes, you know?”

I didn’t know that. Therefore, I hadn’t thought of it, but just those words made my temper slow.

“Was he?” I asked calmer.

I didn’t want to sound so hopeful, but I couldn’t help it.

“Of course he was. I don’t just go around sleeping with anyone, Tony. I’m not Chet.”

I grinned down at her and moved closer, and she shook her head. “Oh, hell no. You just practically called me a whore. I’m not fucking you now.”

“So. I called you bitch a little while ago.” I chuckled.

“That’s different. I am a bitch.”

The elevator opened on our floor again and this time she stepped off. I followed behind her.

“You’re the most confusing woman I’ve ever met. What do you want, Constance?” I called behind her.

She kept walking. “I don’t want anything. Especially from you.”

“Oh, you wanted something in that elevator just now.”

She spun around with a closed fist, ready to strike. I caught it easily in my hand, stopping her. Rage and lust filled me, and I went on the attack. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the alcove where the snack machines were. We were tucked away, unless someone decided they wanted a bag of chips or a soda.

“I’m getting about sick of you pulling me around,” she barked.

“I’m getting about sick of you teasing me,” I said as I slammed her against the wall.

Again, she reached out to hit me, but this time it was with an open palm. My face shifted to the side when she slapped me.

I rubbed my cheek and glared down at her. Then I stuffed my hands up her skirt, making it ride up my arms, and ripped her panties from her body.

Her eyes got wide with excitement again and her breathing picked up. I grinned down at her before biting her bottom lip and licking the pain away. I pushed her legs open with my thigh and her nails dug into my shoulder. Using one hand, I unbuckled my belt and unzipped my jeans. She wrapped her legs around my waist when I lifted her. I wasted no time as I smiled down at her and pushed myself into her wet heat.