Cooper (3 page)

And by the glassy look in Claire’s eyes, she new exactly what that one thing was and was expecting him to pounce at any moment. For someone who seemed completely unbothered by having an international drug dealer touching her, she seemed downright panicked at the though of Cooper taking it a step farther. Not that he was going to, he qualified to himself. He was here because that’s where Cade wanted him to be.

Cooper’s jaw dropped open. “No you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s obvious there’s something going on here. I don’t know why you decided to follow me here or become friends with one of my former lovers to do so, but despite the way you’re dressed and your attitude out there, it’s pretty damned obvious you’ve never been in a place like this before. Your teeth are practically chattering with fear.”

“I’m not afraid of anything, Cooper MacKenzie.” She put her fists on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “Especially not of you. I just don’t particularly like the idea of you bringing me to one of these rooms like you would any other woman.” The bluster seemed to go out of her and she seemed almost…shy. “I just always thought it would be different when we finally…”

“When we finally what?” he asked. His voice was barely a whisper.

“Became lovers. And Angel and I were friends long before you ever met her. She was my roommate in college. I’m not a child anymore, Cooper. I’ve seen the way you look at me. I can give you what you. What you need from a woman. If you’ll give me a chance.”

The breath seized in Cooper’s lungs as he thought of what she was offering. She was a good girl from a good family. And he was nothing but darkness.

His father had died from a heart attack in his late thirties. His mother had died from cancer in her forties. And they’d both left behind children who’d needed them to be there. Especially Cooper. As the oldest, he’d taken on the responsibility of taking their dad’s place. Of trying to steer his three brothers in the right direction so they made good choices in their lives. He’d screwed up plenty of times, but he knew there was one thing he could do right.

He was thirty-four years old and he’d accepted it as his fate that he probably wouldn’t outlive his own parents. He figured he might have another ten years left. Tops. Genetics didn’t lie, especially when you were talking about cancer or heart problems. He had both in his family. So he’d decided early on that he’d never leave a widow or children behind to mourn him.

And then somewhere along the way, he’d started he’d decided that if he was going to die, he might as well go down the hard way. So he’d joined the Marines after high school and then gone to college to major in criminal justice. It was then he’d started experimenting with the seedier side of sex. It was all about the thrill of power and control. He’d had too little control over his life until then.

Once he’d graduated, it hadn’t taken him long to be offered the job in Surrender. He’d grown up there, as his parents had before him. And while he’d had his family and a job he was proud of, there had still been something missing from his life. He figured he’d never know what it was unless he went looking.

“You’re too young to understand what I need,” he said softly. “And you’d never agree to what I want.”

She came toward him with determination, and he had the sudden urge to start backing away. He planted his feet on the ground and gritted his teeth at the sight of the sway of her hips, waiting for whatever she was about to spring on him.

God, where the hell was Cade?

The urge to put his hands on her was growing stronger by the minute.

“I think you’d be surprised at my understanding of your need, Cooper. I’ve watched you grow up. Watched you change through the years and become the man you are today. And how do you know I won’t agree to what you want?” She leaned into him so her mouth skimmed just below the corner of his jaw. “You’ll never know unless you tell me.”

Cooper kept his hands behind him, but didn’t step away from her kiss. The feel of her against him was pure pleasure, and he wanted what he could get for as long as she would give it. After he told her the truth, he might lose his chance.

“Why don’t you first tell me what it is you want from me,” he said. “Why you came here after all this time. You see me back in Surrender every day. Why didn’t you approach me there?”

“Because you would have avoided me like you always do. I knew if I came here that I would finally get your attention. And it’s no secret that you like things…a little different.” She looked down at his nipple rings and licked her lips.

“It doesn’t scare you?”

“Cooper, I’m a librarian. Which means I read constantly. If you think I haven’t spent the last several years doing research just for this moment then you’re insane. I always know exactly what I’m getting myself into.”

Cooper’s scowl deepened as he tried not to imagine exactly how she went about her research. He was about to ask her just that when she rubbed her finger across his bottom lip, tracing the line slowly until he could feel her touch all the way in his cock.

“So now that you know the extent I’ve gone to so I can be here,” she whispered. “I think it should be pretty obvious exactly what I want from you. I want you to stop running in the opposite direction when I walk down the street. I want you to stop giving me those disapproving looks when you think my skirts are too short.”

“Your skirts are always too short,” he interrupted. “Librarians shouldn’t show that much leg.”

She kissed his chin and then up to the corner of his mouth, silencing him. “I want you to come in the library on your lunch break and kiss me between the stacks of books. I want you to take me to dinner and then take me to bed. But most of all I want you to touch me. I’ve dreamed of your touch for years.”

Cooper couldn’t hold himself back any longer. The temptation was just too great. He turned his head and caught her roving mouth, licking across the seam of her lips with his tongue, begging for entrance. She was spicy and sweet and hot, and his body burned with the need for more.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pushed her hips against him, searching for an ease to the ache. His hands roamed down her back until he cupped her buttocks, and he lifted her against him, molding her body to his as his tongue parodied the sex act.

Cooper moved blindly toward the lone chair in the room, never breaking the contact between them. He sat back on the chair and pulled her into his lap so her legs straddled his waist. The tiny leather skirt she wore had ridden up around her hips, and all that was visible to him was the tiny scrap of lace that barely covered her mound and the top of her boots that came to mid-thigh.

“Christ, Claire. You should be illegal.”

“We’ll get to the handcuffs later. Just don’t stop kissing me.”

She grabbed his face and nipped at his bottom lip. His cock jerked beneath her and she moaned against his mouth. Things were going too fast, and he had to make her understand before he made love to her.

He grimaced at the term. Already she was changing the way he thought. He’d never made love to anyone in his life. Had sex.
Yes
. Fucked.
Yes
. But making love was an experience he had no desire to add to his list of sexual exploits.

Her fingers trailed down his chest to the button of his pants. She snapped them open with a flick of her fingers and pulled down the tab of his zipper. He groaned as her hand curled around him and her thumb rubbed the area just under his cock where his barbell piercing was located.

“Mmm, I love this,” she said, massaging just under the bar to give him the most possible pleasure.

He moved her hands to his shoulders and grasped her hips, knowing if she kept touching him there it would all be over too soon. He ground against her covered mound. He nipped at her jaw and tasted his way down her neck until her head dropped back in surrender. His arm was anchored behind her and she leaned back even farther, her flexibility making it look as if she were bent in half. The position displayed her corseted breasts so they lay like a feast before him. He inched the leather cups down until she was completely bare to him. The sight that greeted him was almost enough to make him come right then and there.

“God, Claire. That is the sexiest damned thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Her nipples were pierced and decorated with long dangles of shimmering gold. Added to the gold collar he’d fastened around her neck earlier, she looked like an expensive and beautiful jewelry display. The thought of her wearing nothing but the collar and the nipple ornaments had his breath shuddering with anticipation. He skimmed his finger along the edge of the decoration and over her nipple, and then watched as it peaked in response to his touch.

“Please, Cooper. I need your mouth on me.”

He lowered his head and flicked his tongue across her nipple before suckling it in to his mouth. She thrust her hips against him with every pulse of his mouth, and his cock was soaked with her juices. All he had to do was move her panties and he’d be inside her.

She whimpered as he lifted his mouth from one breast and moved it to the other. He could tell by the jerk of her hips and the mewls that escaped her lips that she was close to fulfillment.

“Please, please,” she begged. “I want you inside me.”

Cooper tried to get his brain back in functioning order. This wasn’t the time or the place to do this. Cade was going to be there any minute and he hadn’t brought any condoms with him tonight because he was supposed to be working. They needed to move this to his place fast. But first there was something he needed her to understand before he took her to bed. He didn’t want to leave any doubt in her mind what she was getting in to.

“Wait, Claire. Just a minute, baby.”

“Don’t stop. I’m so close,” she cried.

“Claire, open your eyes and look at me.” He waited until her glazed, feverish eyes met his. “You need to know something before this goes any further.”

Her chest was heaving, making the nipple ornaments quiver with anticipation of what was to come. The sight was a hell of a distraction to his already scattered mind.

“Is this confession time?” she asked. “Because there’s something I should probably tell you too. You know, before we do this.”

She slid against his shaft and he sucked in a breath at how good she felt against him. “Fine, baby, but let me get this out, okay? It’s hard to think straight with you in my arms.”

“Then hurry,” she said, laughing.

“Whatever happens between us, Claire, I want you to understand that it can never be anything serious. I don’t want any miscommunication or hurt feelings between us. I think it’s best to be honest about these things from the beginning.”

She stiffened in his arms, and he realized he was handling this all wrong. His lack of interest in a relationship wasn’t the type of thing he had to explain to his usual partners. But Claire was different. She wasn’t worldly. She was a small town librarian who was looking for a little fun, but would eventually settle down with a husband and have a couple of kids.

“I do want you,” he continued, trying to figure out how to make the words come out right. “You were right that it’s time for me to stop running. But I can’t offer you the type of relationship a woman like you would normally look for.”

“You mean you won’t,” she said, as the desire faded from her eyes and disappointment filled them. “I find it hard to believe that you
can’t
have the kind of relationship where two people commit fully to each other. But don’t worry, Cooper.” Her smile was bitter as she tried t reassure him. “I’m not here to try and tie you down. I’ll be completely satisfied with one night. Maybe it’ll be a disappointment to both of us and we can chalk it up to a failed experiment and just go back to Surrender, pretending it never happened. You’ve proven many times that it’s not impossible to avoid someone in a town with only three thousand people.”

“Claire…I’d like us to still be friends once we’ve gotten this all out of our system. I don’t want that to change. We’ve known each other forever. This is just a little detour in the road.”

He didn’t know what else to say or do. He’d told her the truth, but shame crept along his skin and he had the urge to apologize. He had the feeling that he’d crushed something very, very special, but he didn’t know how to fix it without compromising everything he believed in, and eventually deceiving her into thinking they would be living a life of happiness and children only to be left alone.

“Sure, Cooper. A detour. Whatever you say. Now let’s stop talking and get on with things. It’s getting cold in here.”

She kissed him again, but it wasn’t the same. This kiss lacked the heat of her others, the softness and desire—the urgent need. The spark was still there between them—the hardness between his legs would attest to that—but it was as if that spark had been doused by water and was slowly fizzling.

“Why don’t we take this back to my place?” he said, thinking the change of atmosphere might help her relax. “We’ll have more room and a soft bed. And plenty of condoms.”

“I’m on birth control.”

“That’s good, but I’ve never had sex without a condom, and I don’t plan to start now.” His decision to never have children insured that he always remember to suit up. Because of his feelings toward the matter, he’d never even been tempted to feel the inside of a woman flesh to flesh. Some things couldn’t be taken on chance.

“Your place. Sure,” she said, though her voice was robotic.

Claire got off his lap and adjusted her clothing. She kept her gaze diverted and her movements were quick and jerky. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when a knock sounded at the door. Cooper didn’t know whether to curse Cade’s timing or thank him.

He turned to look at Claire one more time before answering the door. Her lips were swollen and red and she looked like she’d been well and thoroughly ravished. But it was her eyes that haunted him. They held nothing but emptiness.