She heard a loud
crack
from somewhere behind her. It was all she could do not to clutch at Torian's cloak. Trembling even more than before, she paused, trying to summon the courage to go on. Torian looked around, then pointed to a tree on the bank behind them. There was a limb beneath it, resting on the snow. The sound had been the limb falling under the weight of the snow. She nodded, mocking herself for being so easily frightened, and they continued to the other bank without incident.
“
Are you all right here for a moment? I'm going to help Garith get the horses across,” Torian asked kindly.
Emariya was grateful he didn’t mention her obvious fear…or her obvious stubbornness. Once all three of them were safely on the bank, they shared a quick lunch and then set off again. This time, Emariya was content to let Torian take the lead. She could hear the sound of the waterfall growing louder and louder as the day wore on. She knew they must be getting close, but still she wasn't prepared for the sight of it when finally Torian stepped out from in front of her, giving her a view of the water crashing down onto the rocks ahead. It was easily the most magnificent thing she had ever seen.
He was watching her carefully, judging her reaction. She gasped. There really were no words to describe it. “It's beautiful,” was the best she could come up with. She was surprised at the rush of emotion she felt, and tears threatened behind her eyes. The peak that the waterfall spilled over reached endlessly into the sky. Emariya could imagine that The Three, themselves, might be looking down the ancient rock, watching them from above. The spray that reached the rocks below swirled up in a fine mist that seemed to cling in the air. Relentless water battled with the frozen snow, fighting for dominance of the brilliant sight. She stood quietly, simply watching it. She thought it was a bit ironic that after days of chaos and uncertainty, she would think of a wildly rushing waterfall as one of the most serene things she had ever seen. Somehow, though, it was. She was able to see past the angry, forceful torrents of water and see the splendid peace below.
Torian's voice in her ear startled her out of her thoughts. “So are you.”
She turned to him in surprise, about to scold him, but he looked so sincere that she merely blushed. She had to get away from this man. He was much like the waterfall before her. Dangerous, yet captivating. It would be incredibly easy to get caught up in his current and be helplessly at his mercy.
Being with him might bring darkness to both his people and hers. And yet she was inexplicably drawn to him. She was determined to hate him. Being with him was impossible. Loving him was
wrong.
Yet, she was starting not to care.
Yes, she had to get away. If she didn't, she would make a mistake that might not only cost her, but all those who she cared about. All those who she was responsible for. She was losing her objectivity. Sadly, she suspected that Garith would not come with her. It didn't matter; she'd made up her mind, and she'd follow through. She would wait for the first opportunity and then she'd run. She'd find Jessa and Rink, and together they would go home to Reeve.
***
Her opportunity came later that night. Garith took the first watch. Emariya waited until she heard Torian breathing heavily and evenly nearby, signaling that he had fallen asleep. She didn't want to raise Garith's suspicions, so she'd have to leave Raina behind. She'd grown fond of the horse, but there was no way Garith was going to simply let her ride off.
He looked up as she got up from her bedroll. “Everything all right?” he asked.
She nodded, pretending to be half asleep. “Mmhmm, just need a moment of privacy.” She smiled, feigning embarrassment. He accepted her answer without question; it wasn't abnormal for any of them to step away for a few moments as necessary. As soon as she thought she was far enough away that her footsteps wouldn't be heard, she broke into a run. She needed to put some distance between them quickly. She couldn't backtrack their route from earlier, because that was the way they would expect her to go. She thought she would travel westward for a day or two, then turn south until she got back to the valleys, where she didn't think she would have any trouble finding her way back to the pass.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Surrender
Had she not been trying to make her escape in the middle of the night, it might have worked. However, in the darkness, she didn't see the sudden drop until her feet fell out from under her and she was rolling through the snow. She winced as the ice-covered rocks dug into her skin. She slid unceremoniously to a stop at the base of a tree. She could hear the roar of the waterfall nearby, but she couldn't see more than a few inches in front of her nose. Taking an inventory of her bruised and battered limbs, she was relieved that nothing seemed to be broken. Wearily, she pushed herself to her feet and took a step forward.
She yelled out in surprise as her foot found only air. Strong hands grabbed her from behind, dragging her back onto the slope by her waist. The nearby waterfall had masked the sound of Torian’s frantic pursuit. She wasn't sure which had startled her more: the lack of ground beneath her feet, or his hands suddenly grabbing her. Regardless, it was enough to send her over the edge.
She spun on him, shoving the heels of her palms hard against his chest. “I don't need you to save me!” she said vehemently. “Go away!”
“
It would seem that you do, seeing as you were about to dive into the waterfall.” Torian’s voice hinted at minor amusement hidden beneath his obvious panic. His steady hand had not released her arm. Instead, he clung on, as if afraid that she might still tumble away from him.
Just because she knew he was right did not mean she was planning to admit it. “Well, I wouldn't have been, if you hadn't insisted I come with you!”
“
Is it any wonder I insisted you not venture out on your own? You are a beacon for trouble! Do you think that maybe for one day you could manage not to endanger your own life?”
“
What—I should just meekly let you take me away to your castle and let you marry me, endangering everyone else, instead? And my life has only been in danger because of you! You demand my hand in marriage, then you don't trust me to come, so you send your…” She searched for the right word. “…your spy to accompany me, assault my friends, abduct me, and then you ride in to save the damned day like some sort of knight or hero or something. Russell never would have known about me if I hadn't been on my way to you, and I wouldn't have rolled down this godforsaken hill if I weren't trying to get away from you. It’s all you. I'm not having it, do you hear me?! You'll not use me to bind the lines or take over The Corners or whatever else it is you are trying to do. I'm done! Done with being a Stone, and done with being betrothed, and done with prophecies, and done with this damned mountain!” She was so angry she was shaking.
He quickly closed the distance between them and pulled her roughly to him. “You silly, stupid, foolish, brave, beautiful, headstrong woman. What do I have to do to get through to you?”
She opened her mouth to protest but the words died unsaid as he moved in quickly and kissed her.
Her breath caught in her throat. She was afraid to move, but suddenly realized that she didn't want to.
She tasted his desperation mingling with her frustration. His lips were hard, demanding, and yet excruciatingly tender. How could she hate this man? It was no use. She surrendered to the knowledge that she couldn’t.
She pressed in close to him and kissed him back, burying her fingers tightly in his dark hair. It felt so good to give in to the unavoidable pull that had been urging her toward him since she'd first opened her eyes to find him looking at her. She'd been fighting it all day, and it had taken so much of her energy.
This—this was easy. This was right.
She'd never kissed anyone before, but she knew instantly that she'd never kiss anyone else.
He pulled back and held her at arm’s length, trying to catch his breath.
She stood there, with her heart pounding, waiting.
“
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…” Torian said when he finally spoke. His eyes were guarded, but still, she could see the hope in them.
She didn't answer. Every time she tried to, the words wouldn't come. She wanted to tell him not to be sorry, but she couldn't. The pull she felt toward him was indescribable. As much as she wanted to, she didn't trust her own feelings. Like everything else, they seemed to have taken Torian's side over her own.
Neither one of them had been ready to return to their camp right away. “Do you feel it, too?” she asked as they sat by the waterfall a little while later. The sun was starting to rise and she could just make out the silhouette of the crashing water below.
“
I've felt it from the moment I first looked upon you. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. It’s as if my lifeline has been somehow intertwined with you; you are my very breath.”
She nodded. “So it is not normally like this?” she asked tentatively.
“
Well, I'd suspect not. Not that I can really say for sure.” He smiled sheepishly.
She was surprised. “You mean there haven't been others?”
He shook his head. “I always knew that my marriage would be for the good of Thalmas, not the want of my heart. There was no reason I could see to court anyone.”
“
Do you think it's because we are Stones?”
“
I don't know—why?”
“
Well, from the stories I've heard, when my father first saw my mother, it was like the world stopped for him. He fell for her instantly. It feels kinda like that for me with you. No matter how hard I've been trying to fight it.” Emariya mentally scolded herself. Had she just compared him to her father?
You still don’t know his intentions,
she told herself.
One kiss doesn’t change the truth.
He smiled at her. “Why are you so determined to hate me? Am I really that bad?”
She shook her head. “No. You aren't bad at all, really. But I still don't know why—or rather, I guess, who. It just doesn't make any sense. If you really didn't order it, why were they bringing me to the castle?”
“
I don't know.”
“
What is it?” Emariya got the distinct impression he was holding something back.
“
Well, when you were yelling at me, you said that I demanded your hand in marriage.”
“
Didn't you? Well I mean, maybe you asked, not demanded, but still.”
“
That's just it, Emariya.” His eyes bored gravely into hers. “I didn't ask; your brother offered.”
She stood up feeling as if someone had knocked all the wind out of her chest. “I don't believe that.” She glared at him. She and her brother had grown apart as of late, but he was still her brother. Torian must be lying, he must be.
“
I'll show you the letter when we reach the castle. I swear to you it’s true,” he insisted, rising and trying to take her hand. “Not that I wasn't agreeable—I was. But it wasn't my idea.”
“
But…but why would…” She shook her head trying to make sense of what she was hearing as she pushed his hand away. Tears sprang to her eyes. Had her brother truly lied to her?
Torian pulled her close and kissed the top of her head gently, smoothing back her hair. “My guess would be that he feared for Eltar. This may have been the only solution he could see, but he was too afraid to tell you that it was his idea. He probably thought we would be reluctant to lend aid without something more than food in return.” He gently tilted her chin upward so that she was looking him directly in the eye. Their faces were only inches apart. “He wasn't wrong. Not about that, anyway. He was wrong to mislead you, but correct in his assumptions of what might motivate us to form an alliance.”
She was having trouble thinking coherently with Torian so close to her, yet she couldn't bring herself to push him away. Her lip trembled. Was he going to kiss her again? She wanted him to, but not now. She needed time to think. She tried to step backward.
Torian sighed and released her, letting her go. “You don't have to fight it, Emariya,” he said so quietly that she wasn't sure that she had heard him. “You don't even have to love me, if you don't want to. Just let me love you.”
She wasn't sure she had a choice. She turned away from him, looking at the water tumbling down from the falls. She thought she might know how the water felt, rushing madly to the rocks below, unable to go back up again.
Her entire belief that he had been trying to bind the lines hinged upon him asking for her hand in marriage. If he truly hadn't… She couldn't fathom why her brother would have initiated it, though. Had he truly seen no other way to protect Eltar? Had he thought it was the only way that they would agree to send reinforcements? Her brother had been all she had had for so long. She couldn't even think about it. She put thoughts of Reeve out of her mind. She wasn't ready to face that. Not yet.
“
We should get back. Garith will be worried.” Torian said.
Emariya sighed. He was right; Garith would be worried. She wasn't ready to face him, either. She needed time to think over what Torian's revelations could mean. Not to mention, she needed to try and figure out what she was feeling toward Torian. Could it be possible that her father had only loved her mother because they were Stones? She had always dreamed of one day having a love like that of her parents. But had any of it been real, or had they been destined to love each other for no reason other than the blood that pulsed through their veins? And if so, what did that mean for her and Torian?