Corvus (29 page)
Authors: Esther Woolfson
Unusually, a couple of weeks ago, a large, adult crow began to appear almost daily to stand on top of the rat-room roof, to feed at the plate of bird food on the garden table, the first time I have ever seen a crow do this. As with Spike, I wonder if they see through windows, if, by some mechanism of watchful communication, they know that Ziki is here.
There’s one thing that’s odd about this bird. He has made no sound. He is completely silent. Even when being held, he made no sound, no shout, no normal loud, vehement corvid objection. There is something deeply unsettling about a silent bird. I search in all the available literature to find precedents, possible causes. I don’t know if he can’t speak or hasn’t learned, if he might have possible damage to his anterior forebrain pathway, his HVC. If a lesion occurs during the process of learning song, the bird will not sing. It could be damage to any part of the complex neural pathways of his forebrain that makes him silent.
His right foot too seems less efficient at grasping the branch. We wonder if the two are connected. A bird’s speech centre, like a human’s, is on the left of its brain; thus, damage to the left of his brain might render him both speechless and lame of right foot. Might this be the reason he was rejected then persecuted?
If he remains silent, his future here is assured (as it probably is anyway). A voiceless bird has no future among other birds. A voiceless bird cannot communicate, cannot call alarm, cannot woo, cannot exchange the myriad social calls necessary for the safe functioning of corvid life. Spike stayed because he spoke. This one, almost certainly, will stay because he can’t.
I think of his early experiences. Whenever I look at him, I realise that this will all take time.
Over the weeks Ziki grows more feathered. He is becoming glossy. I see him stand one morning on top of his house in sunshine, looking as if he is surrounded by a nimbus of gold. It is not prejudice that makes me admire the beauty of this bird’s face. Everyone who has seen him comments on it too.
To test his hearing, I play some CDs of birdsong to him. The ones I have are of American birds. None of the assembled listeners, on a cold Monday morning in August – Ziki, Chicken, Bardie or myself – has heard any of these sounds before. Chicken is interested but unmoved, listening but not agitated. Bardie cheeps intermittently, as if in comment and agreement. Ziki, on the other hand, runs animatedly about the rat room, listening, responding, looking around, looking up, wondering, fascinated, bemused, more animated by some
sounds than others. His hearing is obviously intact, but he’s still silent. The sounds of mobbing birds appear to agitate him. He has Spike’s watching, brilliant eyes and looks like the Chinese painting of a crow that I’ve been given recently. There are two characters written by the side of the crow which I translate, brilliantly, as ‘young crow’.
His body is fluid, mobile, different from both Spike’s and Chicken’s. He is like a small black seal. He hops in his house, corner to corner, corner to corner. It worries me. Again and again, corner to corner.
One morning, we listen together to a Welsh mezzo soprano singing loudly from the radio. Ziki is on his perch. He raises his head, his face a study of rapt, intent delight. (I am sure I am not mistaken in this interpretation. He seems disappointed when it ends.) Later that morning, although it’s still far too early, I begin writing my Christmas list. Ziki’s CD is the first and only item. I begin to put on Radio 3 for him to listen to when I’m away from him. I check to see who is ‘composer of the week’. He seems to like high sounds, early music, the human voice.
Then one morning I hear him playing with his string of bells. He spends some time shaking them. I sit next to him and talk. I haven’t got the time just now but I will. I will spend more time with him. I will sit beside him. I will talk to him. I will wear him down, refuse to accept his fear. I will send him the message, somehow:
This, boy, is all
there is
. He has to know. No one will be more interested in his future. He will adjust. It will take time. He will come through to the kitchen. He will accustom himself. One day, inadvertently, he will jump onto my foot, surprised that he has done so. We will talk, even if the
conversation is one-sided. I am confident, determined. There is nothing else that can be done. As with the others, I see him thinking although he doesn’t speak. I’m sad for him, for what must be the background of his life; I think of it: a young bird, a drunk man, the darkness.
The crow is there again this morning, outside, first on the roof and then on the table, his feathers richly blue and purple and black among the maple leaves that are falling from the tree, still brilliant red as they fall. I don’t know if Ziki sees him, if he does, what he thinks or feels. It is mysterious, another thing I do not know.
white feathered and perfect
– doves on the roof
only occasionally attempting to eat the wallpaper
– a large white rabbit
like the antlers of rutting stags
– doves fighting
a sun conure, small, brilliantly coloured, yellow, orange and green
– Marley
wonderfully, eagerly enquiring
– Chicken, the baby rook
becoming one of us
– a fledgling magpie on a shoulder
simply for pleasure
– Chicken and her toy mouse
eye-pecking, flesh-eating
– carrion crow and road-kill
a tiny hobbling Dominican
– Spike, the baby magpie
cleansing fervour
– Chicken in the bath
a smooth shell of grey and parchment bone
– a rook’s skull
ancient wings from the printing stone
– Archaeopteryx
it was intellect that glittered from his eyes
– Spike, the adult magpie
rooks fly overhead, burdened with twigs
– a rook in spring
streaming back from their summer homes
– barnacle geese in flight
a nest constructed from newspaper
– Chicken brooding
a volley of aaarkhs
– Chicken calling
high and difficult places
– raven and nest
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