Cosmopolitan Girls (21 page)

Epilogue

Lindsay Has Her Say

That night at the Shark Bar was a triumph. Charlie and I were soldiers who had gone off to battle and returned home safely, despite the many casualties along the way. Many times our talks ran deep into the night and renewed a sense of self and self-worth in both of us. Charlie and I learned in the end to let go and live, and that this love thing is about survival of the fittest.

Meeting Charlie sent a resounding revelation through my brain. I was late learning,
but
I learned, women have the power to heal each other through friendship. We were two women from two different backgrounds, but that didn't matter. Our lives were a lot more similar than one would immediately suspect. I was the hopeless romantic, driven by career. Charlie was the kind of woman who knew better than to wear her heart on her sleeve.

So this meeting by chance, coincidence, fate, or whatever you want to call it, started something really special and wonderful. The close bond Charlie and I developed became both therapeutic and sinfully fun. Two little girls from small towns set off to the “Big City” to make good.

Both of us took a long time and went through a lot of drama to get to a good place in our lives with men, a place of peace. I was still so amazed by how in control Charlie seemed when it came to Michael, right up to the end. However, she admitted letting her guard down with him. Even the most controlled of us loses control every now and then.

In the end, it doesn't matter how confident or secure a woman is, she may still have some hidden insecurities. The key is to never stop working on them, because everyone's given a little bit of time here on this earth and there's no sense walking around hurt, bitter, and sad because a relationship didn't go your way. It's okay to be selfish, because if you're not happy, you can't make anybody else happy. And to hell with potential, a woman can't operate on the “mights” or “maybes,” only on what is.

My best advice is that if something feels disjointed or bad, then take heed and move on. The worst thing a woman can do is give a man the satisfaction of seeing her all crumpled up.

But remember, it's okay to cry. Crying is cleansing. Don't be afraid to cry till your eyes won't cry anymore. But after the tears, rebuild yourself. Focus on your job, your faith, work out, get a hobby—something. Just separate yourself from all the pain. Remember, success is the best revenge. Wish that man well and keep rollin'.

Charlie and I are still learning and growing, and have a whole lot more to experience with men. We know we're gonna make a few mistakes, but at the end of the day, we have each other's backs.

Cosmopolitan Girls' Advice

The kind only a true friend will give . . .

Show Off Your Fly-Girl Style. Pull out those tight jeans, that micromini, or clingy dress. Anything that makes you feel sexy. Put it on, prance down to the nearest dance floor, and shake what your mama gave ya!

Discover Your Beauty. Never let a man break your spirit and bring you to the point of insecurity and self-pity. Don't forget how beautiful and smart you are. Now repeat: Mirror, mirror on the wall, I
am
the most fabulous of them all!

It's Not Her Fault. Learn not to take your anger, frustration, and hurt out on the woman your man's dating now.

et it go! If the other woman has some dirt on her hands, it all comes out in the wash eventually. What goes around comes around. Trust that!

Who's Trickin' Whom? All these designer shoes from Gucci to Manolo Blahnik, clothes, furs, iced-out Rolex, and fancy cars . . . Yes, you look good, but where's your self-worth? What you're getting has a price but what he's getting is priceless! Think about it. Who's tricking whom?!

Three Key Acts to Beware Of. (1) Drive-bys and Stake-outs: Driving by your ex-man's house in the wee hours, checking on the activity inside and for signs that he's not alone. Once you've done your drive-by, you may not be convinced enough. So you
park
your car and wait until you see movement. (2) Bum's Rushes: You see your ex out with a new woman and become so enraged that you rush the brotha and have to be physically held back by your girlfriend. (3) DWI: Dialing While Intoxicated—You've been out partying with friends, get wasted, and proceed to whip out your cell to call your ex, and end up making a fool of yourself. Note: If you feel any one of these three symptoms coming on, please run to your nearest friend and tell her to STOP you.

Smell the Coffee. This is an easy one. If you're more committed to the relationship mentally, physically, and financially, wake up and smell the coffee!

Sex Is Trendy, Life Isn't. No condoms, no way! Which is more important, “Ooh, ooh, baby!” or “Oh, shit!” And did I forget to mention herpes, HIV, AIDS, or a host of other venereal diseases? The choice is yours. Be smart!

Don't Play Yourself. If he hasn't returned your calls, e-mails, or letters, don't press or stress yourself, him, or your friends. It's time to step! Remember: watch what he does, not what he says.

Get Your Own. If you can only reach him by cell or pager, have never been to his house, he has to call you, and he never takes you out on dates in public places, then you can be almost 100 percent sure that he has a wife, wifey, woman, or girlfriend. Chile, you know you're wrong.

Have Courage. Ask God for the strength and wisdom to get out of a bad situation. Then get a hobby, exercise, read a book, do whatever to get on with your life. And don't you dare carry that old baggage with you into the new life that awaits you.

Take a Self Day. Make time for the “queen”—you! Get that hair done, those nail and toes done, and treat yourself to an expensive meal. Looking like a million bucks comes in handy, too, when you run into your ex.

Do the 3 D's. Simply do something “daring and deliciously drastic.” Nothing more and nothing less! Maybe even throw the bomb-ass party for yourself while you're at it. Invite everyone you know. You'll be the talk of the town!

Feel free to copy these pages and carry them with you. In case of
emergency, just reread them . . . for strength and inspiration.

Cosmopolitan Girls: A Reading Guide

About This Reading Guide

Lindsay Bradley and Charlie Thornton are the quintessential women of the new millennium—smart, sexy, spiritual, flawed, determined, and relentless. Whether they are on a quest to fulfill the Cosmo Girl Code of Arms or weathering the unpredictable turns in their love and professional lives, Lindsay and Charlie prove that women have the power to heal each other. We hope that your reading group finds inspiration in their story. The questions that follow are designed to spark a discussion that is poignant, hilarious, compelling, and deliciously intoxicating—as Lindsay and Charlie would like. So, girlfriends, put on your favorite big T-shirt, grab a Cosmo and some Kleenex, and get comfortable. Guys, pay close attention, feel free to chime in, and, well, take notes.

Discussion Questions

Lindsay appears to have it all together with a great job and a fabulous social life. Why is she so strong and together when it comes to taking care of business, but allows her emotions to take her off her game?

During Charlie's “pity party” at the beginning of the book, she says she “tossed her goals to the side and put other people's happiness first.” What happens when you toss your goals to the side?

In “Prince Charming,” Lindsay and Robert share an awkward moment where they connect before Troy enters. What if Troy hadn't interrupted; do you think Lindsay would have pursued Robert's subtle invitation? What do you think the implications would have been if she'd gotten involved with her boss? In examining corporate America, is there a double standard when it comes to women dating in the workplace?

When Lindsay and Charlie meet, it's the classic case of each one thinking the other's grass is greener. However, they discover they are two sides of the same coin. How do they reveal their similarities and differences?

Lindsay is flooded with opinions and advice from her sisters, her “girls” Tara and Judy, and her newfound friend Charlie. Discuss their differences of opinions. Do you think Lindsay deserved a second chance?

Lindsay and Charlie devise the Cosmo Code of Arms, proving that strength is in numbers, and becoming hell-bent on getting “payback.” However, their vengeful tactics, disguised as fun-filled missions, lead to unexpected consequences. What are those consequences? When is enough enough? Do you recall if you or a friend has ever allowed such a situation to go too far in a relationship?

Charlie's own problems cause her to encourage Lindsay not to go down without a good fight after Troy breaks up with her. Why doesn't she have the same fighting spirit when it comes to dealing with Michael?

Discuss Charlie's attitude toward friendships with other women prior to meeting Lindsay. Do you know any women who have shut themselves off to friendships with other women?

Spirituality plays a big part in Lindsay and Charlie's lives. Recount and discuss the chapters that reveal various eye-opening moments in the story for both Lindsay and Charlie—moments that ultimately lead each woman to rediscover and renew her own spirituality and step out on faith. How important is
your
spirituality in your personal and professional life?

Charlie has a penchant for being judgmental when it comes to her mother, whom she describes as a “doormat for men.” Her motto is “A man has never and will never define me.” What does it take for women to wake up and smell the coffee?

Lindsay plays into Robert's philosophy that “one should avoid excessive socializing.” She never mixes the business Lindsay with the social Lindsay. Why is she intimidated by his calls? How do you balance your professional life with your social life?

Charlie refers to the sacrifices she's made in order to make her relationship with Michael work. She says it was a “price she was willing to pay.” Were all these sacrifices worth saving the relationship? Have you ever had friends who dated a man with children from a previous relationship? Did they encounter or experience the strain of “baby mama drama”?

Charlie's self-inflicted writer's block and her denial about her crumbling relationship with Michael have caused her to give up on her dreams, and she's fallen into a “safe rut.” How does this happen, and why?

What does Lindsay mean when she describes the feeling she had after dinner with Tara and Judy as “vacant”? Do you have people in your life who are “sitting with yesterday”?

New York City is sexy, electric, and the center of the fashion, cultural, and social universes. Explore and discuss the “Big Apple” as the backdrop for the story, and how it becomes a character itself. What is its significance in Lindsay and Charlie's lives? In their friendship?

In “Food for Thought,” Charlie raises the point that women “have to fight so much that we get confused and start fighting each other.” Do you agree or disagree? Lindsay also proclaims that women have to “stop killing each other's spirits.” What does this mean to you? Discuss creating a “girls' club” of your own. What would you do? Finally, Lindsay describes her and Charlie's heart-to-heart as an “excavation of the minds.” Create your own archaeological excavation of the minds within your group, and discuss women developing mutual-support systems and working together.

In “Emancipation Night,” Lindsay and Charlie's new mission is to put themselves first and never compromise on their happiness. Discuss the growing pains both women endured. What does it mean to be fierce, fabulous, and fearless?

The birth of the Cosmo Code of Arms gives Lindsay and Charlie a marvelous new manifesto. Devise and discuss your own Cosmo Code of Arms.

About the Authors

Charlotte Burley was born and raised in Buffalo, New York. Burley moved to New York City and met computer genius Mclean Greaves. They teamed up to form Virtual Melanin, Inc. (VMI), a critically acclaimed Internet company specializing in urban content. VMI has earned rave reviews from
The New Yorker,
the
New York Times
, and the
Village Voice.
In 2001, Burley became a writer producer for the Sci Fi Channel. In December 2002 she created an image campaign entitled “Tattoo Man.” It was used as the signature for the new look of Sci Fi. The spot garnered critical acclaim and won the 2003 Bronze CLIO Award, the AICP Award, London's 2003 AD&D Award, and three 2003 Promax/BDA Awards. Finally, as a result of the hugely successful “Tattoo Man” on-air campaign, the Sci Fi Channel became the first television network to be added to the Museum of Modern Art's (MOMA) historical art collection. Her future plans are with Tri-Media. She's excited to see what fresh and innovative writing she can conjure up in the near future.

Lyah Beth LeFlore, vice president of production and development for Alan Haymon Entertainment, Inc. (AHE), is making a name for herself in the world of television at the age of thirty-three. In 1995, LeFlore was profiled in Essence magazine's 25
^th
Anniversary issue in the article “25 to Watch Under 25.” LeFlore was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri, and graduated from Stephens College with intentions of becoming a news reporter. However, after writing a TV segment on music artist MC Hammer for WAVE-3, the Louisville, Kentucky, NBC affiliate, during a fellowship through the National Association for Black Journalists (NABJ), she discovered her true talent and interest: television production. Since that time she has worked as a consultant on HBO's
Midnight Mac,
as development executive for FOX's
Between Brothers
and
Lawless,
as associate producer for FOX's
New York Undercover,
and as producer for the UPN shows
Grown Ups
and
Off Limits.
LeFlore is currently in development on several television projects, including the Disney Channel's animated series
Arooma Zoom Zoom.