Read Could It Be Forever? My Story Online
Authors: David Cassidy
R
egrets, I have a few, but then again, a few I need to mention.
Recently there’s been a lot written about my daughter, Katherine – or Katie, more accurately. In the past year or two, Katie and I have formed a deep, caring, loving, supportive relationship. She now lives on her own. She’s doing what she loves to do, which is acting. She’s realising her dream. She is working hard at developing her craft. She realises that doing what you love to do and being good at it and working at it is far more important than having a bit of fame. I have preached that to her for a number of years. She does not pursue the fame or the money as much as she pursues the love of the work. Now, as a young,
self-supporting adult, she understands that. I’m very proud of her.
I have always been someone who has cared deeply about being a role model, about doing the right things in life, about understanding what is really important and that fame for the sake of fame is emptiness. It’s just window dressing. It’s just fluff.
I hope that Katie is able to enjoy some of the rewards that I have been able to reap. But the important things are to be able to wake up in the morning and feel good about yourself, feel good about your work, try every day to be better at what you do and be a better person. All we have is what we create. The love you make is the love you take. It took me a while to figure that out.
I hope that I have been able to inspire Katie, and Beau, who seems to be on the same path and also has an enormous amount of potential. My wish is that they find happiness in their lives, not just fame or money. That is what I pursue. That is what I believe in. I’m very proud of my son and daughter. I think they’re both going to be very successful. I’ll help them if I can, if I believe it’s the right thing for them. Katie now understands, at the age of 19, that I couldn’t support her wanting to become the next Britney Spears when she was 15. She’s glad it didn’t really happen for her then. She’s discovered that she is a very good actress and is working every day to become better at her craft. She doesn’t want to be famous because of me – she was driven towards that by another influence in her life – and now understands why I couldn’t support her becoming a pop
diva. I would not support that for any young person, let alone my own child. I wouldn’t advise any parent to put their child in a situation where they’re going to lose their teenage years. It’s an unhealthy environment to be in.
Once that brief fame is over and you’re only 17 or 18, what do you do with the rest of your life? My advice was falling on deaf ears for a while, but fortunately Katie’s grown up and matured and she gets it now. Beau knows it too. He’s going to college. He says, ‘I’m going to school. I want to get as good as I can get before the world sees me, because you only have one chance.’
And that’s what Katie’s doing, and I’m very proud of her. She’s really doing it by herself. I supported her financially until she was 19 and now she wants to be self-sufficient. She doesn’t want Daddy to take care of her. She wants to make it her own way and that shows character.
I’ve tried to demystify David Cassidy, and to reach out and let people inside. I want to give people a real insight into the experience of being phenomenally famous and rich, and having all of the things many people dream about, now more than ever because of the whole
American Idol
phenomenon. Many people have said to me, ‘You’re the only living original American Idol now that Elvis and Ricky Nelson are dead.’ But the odd thing is I never wanted it. Isn’t that funny? I mean, millions of people all over the world are now trying to be an idol and I never wanted it. I wanted to be an actor and would never have pursued a career as a musician and singer. I just happened to be cast
in the most unique role in television in
The Partridge Family.
The things that I find so important in my life are the people who surround me and the experiences that we have shared together. My brothers and I love, assist and care for one another. That’s not to say that we don’t have issues with each other. I probably have the least because I didn’t grow up in the same house. We’re all committed to our families and to our loving relationships with our children and our wives and our partners in our life. My brother Patrick and his wife Melissa are fantastic friends to each other and to us. My brother Shaun and his wife and young son recently came to visit and spent a couple of wonderful days with us. Shaun was so giving to my son, realising how unique he is and knowing how important it is to be there for one another. Ryan and I are closer now than we’ve ever been. He comes down and spends time with us. I get on with him. We have a strong bond. I think he’s one of the kindest, nicest, most genuinely caring human beings I’ve ever met.
Ryan Cassidy:
There’s a 17-year age difference between David and me. I didn’t have much in common with him when I was a kid except that we had the same dad. But in the last few years I found that we both love houses and antique cars. We really connect and understand each other on a personal level. I can call David and talk to him about anything now. I don’t look at him as just my half-brother; he’s my good friend and someone I can rely on.
The people that David feels he’s most comfortable with and trusts the most are Shaun, Patrick and myself. Because he’s effectively an only child, he doesn’t consider us to be
half-brothers, he considers us to be full brothers. And when I hang out with him I forget that he has a different mother. My mom had a lot to do with his life too and I think he sort of looks at my mother as a mother, too, not just a stepmother. There have been times when Shaun, Patrick, David and I had issues that could have torn us apart as brothers. We’re very alike, but very different too. I think the glue that kept us together was the fact that, without having our father around, we had to take care of each other. Our deep bond comes out of that.
2005 was a time in my life and Shaun’s when we were both having some relationship problems. Shaun was in the middle of a separation from his second wife. He said, ‘We need to go on a trip, just the four of us.’ He planned it and got David involved. So all the brothers flew to Atlanta, Georgia, for our cousin Charlie Douglas’s wedding. We rented a van and drove to Savannah and spent two nights there. Then we drove all over Florida – Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville, Key West. It was a week when we shared time and hung out together, just the four of us. We went swimming with dolphins together. We went to this tiny little island at the end of Key West. Shaun jokingly called it ‘The Brotherly Love Tour’. We even had T-shirts made.
Shaun Cassidy:
That trip brought us closer together, but it was a rollercoaster. I thought it would be fun to get in the car with my three brothers and drive some place. I didn’t think it was so novel at the time, but I’ve subsequently heard so many people say that a lot of 45-year-old guys don’t do things like that! After much haranguing – David didn’t like the idea of being
in a car for ten days – we finally all agreed to do it. You get four siblings in a car and you’re alternating driving. Whoever was behind the wheel was basically at the end of a cattle prod. You were tortured beyond belief by the other three. You had three backseat drivers whenever you were driving. We alternated sharing rooms with each other and we had the most amazing time. But you definitely revert to when you were kids in the back of a station wagon. All the role-playing that exists in families comes out. We had some really good breakthroughs. We were all going through some transitional periods in our lives. We kind of counselled each other and stuff came out about all of us that I didn’t know. That was great. It was very bonding.
Halfway through the trip, at Disney World, Patrick hit me. The happiest place on earth and he punched me out. But we recovered from that. We ended up in Miami Beach at the Delano Hotel, which was like walking into Studio 54 at one in the morning in the 70s. We swam with dolphins there. That trip was the most beautiful, healing experience. It sounds weird and Hunter Thompson-like, and maybe that’s what it was. It was just great.
Patrick Cassidy:
That was an amazing experience in so many ways. So much so that we’re planning to do it again. We had such a fantastic time. It was cathartic. It was so insightful. The amazing thing from my perspective was how four people that share the same genetic makeup and life experiences can have such different opinions about what happened. I was so amazed at Shaun’s viewpoint about my mother and David’s viewpoint about our father versus mine and Ryan’s. The first couple of days of the trek we laughed hysterically all the time. Then, by the third day, the little nuances in each of our personalities
started to get the better of us, specifically between Shaun and me, because we’re the closest in age. The repartee between us can be very volatile at times. David’s always been the sensible one, the peacemaker.
It all culminated on the fourth day, at Disney World. Shaun said something to me that really bothered me and I ended up slugging him. Ryan and I stayed at Disney World and Shaun and David went back to the hotel. David discussed the relationship between Shaun and me and how it needed to change. It was very therapeutic. By the end, when we got to Key West, which was such a beautiful place to end our time together, we’d all moved forwards. We understood things about each other that we hadn’t before.
I find that David’s own neuroses about life and about himself is what makes him so funny. When I’m with him, I laugh to the point where my ribs are hurting. He’s also incredibly generous. He’s been incredibly helpful and supportive in terms of advice.
All of our families have a commitment now to one another that we’ve never had before and I attribute some of that to the choices that we’ve made in our partners and our own personal evolution as people.
Later in her life, my mother married Al Williams, a distant cousin of hers. He was her companion for 30 years until he sadly passed away in 2005. I had encouraged them to get married. They had a great relationship; they really took care of one another, and it was a blessing for me. Finally my mother had a relationship that really worked and was the most fulfilling and successful one, although it was not a
romantic relationship. But the right reason to get married is to find someone who loves you and cares for you and someone you feel the same way about and are willing to commit to, a great friend. That’s far more important at the end of the day than looking at somebody across a room and getting hot.
There’s a lot that’s positive about fame. The money brought unique rewards. I was able to buy my mother a Mercedes Benz. While my dad lived with Shirley, he lived pretty high on the hog because of her fame and success. My mother, on the other hand, never had that kind of money and to be able to give things like that to her was a wonderful thing. And I feel the same way about being able to give my children great things. I show Beau my love by being tough and a disciplinarian. He knows he has to earn things he wants.
A lot of people are surprised that I am just a regular parent, like everyone else. I coached Little League. I showed up at all my son’s games. I go to his performances at school. He’s in the All-State Choir and I saw them perform at Carnegie Hall. He is tremendously gifted. I’ve talked with him a lot about a career in show business, about my father’s struggle, my struggle, my brothers’ struggles. He understands there’s a work ethic involved and he knows what it takes.
So where am I today? I’m a wealthy man in many ways. I’m probably happier now than I’ve ever been before in my life. I’ve learned a lot about life and about myself and how to distance myself from the parasites of this world. I’m not unscathed. I have been hurt, I have been disappointed. I
realised that I just had to let all that go. I have no fear of failure any longer.
My attitude used to be that we were all in a race and those of us who achieved the most success, the most fame, the most money, the most power were the winners. That isn’t how I view life any more. That view is for fools.
There is no race. There are no trophies. The only people who really win are the people who get hugged by their loved ones every morning and can go to bed at night knowing they’ve done right by themselves and by the people they love. The quality of my life is great now because of the people I have cultivated relationships with and choose to spend time with.
I no longer have any time – not another minute, not another second – to waste with people who don’t share that perspective and embrace it. I’ve had enough of twisted views of reality with my father and other bad relationships. My closest friends tend to be family. But that’s OK. I spend a lot of time by myself. And that’s OK, too. That time alone is precious to me.
After many long, difficult and sometimes painful years of analysis, it felt like I finally hit the home stretch. I experienced some real breakthroughs. I realised that I had to let the reins go and let my life take me down whatever path was intended. I have no great disappointments in my life any more. I’m just enjoying the ride. I simply embrace it all now.
Instead of griping and grumbling when things go wrong I tell myself,
OK,
I’ve worked for three months on this project,
put everything I could into it and it didn’t happen. Well, it was not intended to happen.
There is something to be learned from the experience. Maybe it’s worked out in a way that will ultimately be for my higher good.
How do I fill my time these days, when I’m not busy with work? I enjoy going to the theatre, to the movies and to sporting events. The Rangers or baseball games, preferably at Yankee Stadium, and thoroughbred racing would be my first choices. I mostly listen to old school music and some jazz. And, of course, I read everything I can find pertaining to horses.
Over ten years ago, I was asked if I’d be willing to speak to students at the high school in my old home-town, West Orange, New Jersey. Afterwards, my friend and I got in his big old Lincoln and drove around the town. Past Tony Corners, where my grandfather bought me a Slinky and a Mr Machine so many years ago. Past the homes of childhood friends. Past what used to be my school (it’s now the Board of Education offices). We stopped at my old house, which hasn’t changed much; there were still clothes lines round the back. I remembered those kids who’d taunted me as I played out front.