“Marti, stop this,” Zoe said. “Just calm down. Maybe we shouldn’t make a decision about this right this second. I think we all need some time to adjust to what’s happening here, okay?” She looked down at Sophie. “Okay, honey? Why don’t
you go take your nap now, with your courage flower, and when you get up, I’ll tell you what we’ve decided to do. Maybe you should take a nap, too, Marti.” She’d have to give up her air mattress to her daughter. She’d create a mattress for herself out of towels and clothing.
“Right.” Marti drew on her cigarette again. “Like I could really sleep.”
Sophie stood up and limped into the bedroom, closing the creaking door behind her.
“She’s limping like crazy,” Marti said. “How far is the road?”
“It’s a ways,” Zoe said. “Five miles. I’ll have to make her a crutch or something.”
“You’ll never get her to walk five miles with her foot like that.”
Zoe sighed, afraid that Marti was right. Sophie was not complaining, but it was obvious that she could barely put any of her weight on her left foot.
Marti leaned forward, elbows on knees. “Mother, please. Please! I’m begging you. We can’t let her go. We’ll all have to stay together. They’re going to be looking for me. And—” Marti’s voice broke “—I can’t go back there, Mother. I just can’t,” she said, as she lowered her head into her hands. She was crying, her shoulders shaking with the tears, and Zoe could hardly bear the pain that coursed through her own body as she watched her.
“Forget about Sophie for right now,” she said, leaning toward Marti from the sofa. “Tell me about
you
. Tell me what it was like for you at Chowchilla. How you got out. Tell me everything.”
Marti raised her head again, wiping her face with her hands. Her cigarette had burned down to the filter, and she looked around for a place to stub it out. Zoe handed her one of the Kmart bowls from the shelf near the door.
“It was so bad, Mom,” Marti said. “Worse than you can
imagine. The food was gross, but that was the least of it. The other women…” She shook her head. “They’re
real
criminals. I got thrown in with honest to goodness murderers. And, of course, I’d say I was innocent, that I hadn’t done anything, that I was railroaded somehow, and they’d mock me and…” Marti looked out the window, and for a moment, seemed to lose her train of thought. “The lights were on, twenty-four-seven. Do you know how crazy that can make you? The noise…it echoed, all the time. A couple of women killed themselves while I was there, and believe me, I thought about it, too.”
“Oh, Marti.”
“They raped me,” she said. “Every single night, and—”
“
Who
raped you?” Zoe asked, horrified.
“The guards.” Marti looked at her, then lowered her eyes. “And there was nothing you could do about it. It’s all a big game there. Everyone knows it’s going on, and everyone’s got a part in it. The prisoners are treated like shit. Like they’re not even human. Like they’re just put there for the guards’ entertainment.”
“Marti, I’m so sorry,” Zoe said. “Come here and sit next to me.” She patted the seat of the sofa next to her.
Marti left her chair and sat down next to her, and Zoe put her arm around her, kissed her temple. It felt alien to touch her daughter that way. There had never been much physical affection between them. But she was determined to change that, and she was relieved that Marti seemed to accept the gesture, that she actually seemed to
want
it.
“I wish I could have prevented you from having to go there,” Zoe said. “I felt so helpless.”
“It was even worse for me ’cause I’m your daughter,” Marti continued, her voice thick. “Like, somehow it made them more important to be able to say they fucked Zoe’s daughter.”
Zoe winced. “Oh, my darling,” she said. “Being my daughter has always been a burden for you. I know that, and I’m sorry.”
“Angelo was no better than the rest of them,” Marti said. “I picked him because I knew he was the type to take a bribe, which meant he was an asshole to begin with. He made me have sex with him every single night we were on the road, Mom. Two or three times a night.”
Zoe’s fantasy of the companionable, cooperative warden-prisoner relationship evaporated.
“And he was slimy and disgusting. I’d have to go in the bathroom and puke afterward. Now all I want to do is take a long bath.” She glanced around the room. “I suppose there’s no tub here, huh?”
Zoe smoothed a stray strand of her daughter’s hair back from her forehead. “Just an outhouse,” she said, “but we have a pump. I can heat you some water if you’d like to—”
“No!” Marti stood up and walked to the open front door to look into the clearing. “No more fires, for heaven’s sake. And we have to figure out what we’ll do if anyone shows up here. We need a plan.”
“First, let’s clear things up about Sophie,” Zoe said. “We can’t keep her here, Marti. Think about it. Her family must know she’s missing, so there are probably people searching for her, too. The sooner we get her up to the road and on her way, the better off we’ll be.”
“Mom!” Marti spun around to look at her. “She’s gonna tell!”
“I don’t think she will. I’ll talk to her about it some more while we’re walking. She’s a nice little girl. She just wants to go home. I think she’d keep any secret I asked her to.”
“Then you’re crazy,” she said.
“Listen to me, Mart,” Zoe said. “She’s sick. I don’t know how sick, but she has something wrong with her kidneys. She even has a catheter coming out of her stomach.”
“What’s that?”
“A tube. It hooks her up to a machine that does the work of her kidneys for her.”
Marti shook her head in disbelief. “Who the hell let her loose out here when she’s that screwed up?”
“It really doesn’t matter,” Zoe said. “What matters is that I get her to the road, and that’s what I’m going to do. That’s final. If we leave right when she wakes up, I should be able to get her up there in a few hours and be back here before it gets dark.”
“Fine,” Marti said, her cheeks flaming. “If I’m not here when you get back, just assume they found me and took me back to prison for some more rape and battery.” She stormed out of the shanty, trying to slam the door behind her, but it only creaked feebly against its old hinges.
Through the window behind the sofa, Zoe watched her run into the forest. She remembered Marti’s teenage years, when she’d slam out of the house in a fury over some argument or another. She’d take off for a friend’s house or to meet a sympathetic boyfriend on the beach, and Zoe would feel overwhelmed with helplessness—much the way she was feeling now.
This time, though, she knew Marti had nowhere to go.
“W
hat do you mean, you’re leaving?” Joe asked.
He was standing in front of Janine in the parking lot of the motel. It was Thursday morning, and Lucas had gotten a ride into town, where he planned to rent a car. Then he would return to the motel and pick her up.
“Lucas has to go back today, and—”
“So, let him go,” Joe said.
She ignored the barb. “I’m going with him to get some of the medicine that Sophie’s on, so when we find her, she’ll be able to have it administered right away,” she said. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
She had spoken to Valerie Boykin, asking her if a paramedic would be able to administer Herbalina to Sophie. Valerie said they would need a prescription from the doctor to do so, but if they had that, it would be no problem. Yet, although Valerie was kind in her answers, Janine had the feeling that the search manager did not believe Sophie would ever get the chance to receive Herbalina—or any other medication, for that matter.
“Why does Lucas have to get back?” Joe asked. “He doesn’t have a job.”
“There’s something important he needs to do.” She wanted to defend Lucas even though she, herself, had trouble understanding his insistence on going back to Vienna.
Her mother was walking down the motel stairs from the second story. “What’s going on?” she asked, more to Joe than to Janine. She had circles under her eyes—just like the rest of them. “Have you heard anything?”
“Lucas needs to get back to Vienna, so Janine is going with him,” Joe said.
“I hope he isn’t hurrying back to his job at Ayr Creek,” her mother said. “He realizes he no longer works there, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, Mother,” Janine said. “He knows.”
“I don’t think Lucas Trowell can stay in one place more than a few hours,” her mother said. “He’d come to work, then he’d leave early. He comes here, then he leaves early. Why are you going with him, Janine? You follow him around like a puppy dog.”
“Mom, Sophie’s missing,” Janine said. “I really don’t feel like arguing about this.”
“Sophie’s missing
here
, in West Virginia, and you’re going
home
, to Vienna, to be with your boyfriend,” her mother said. “What kind of a mother are you?”
“Janine wants to get some of that herbal…medicine to give Sophie in case they can find her,” Joe said. If he thought he was being helpful with that explanation, Janine thought bitterly, he was mistaken.
Her mother made a sound of disgust. “She’s going to need dialysis the moment they find her, not herbs.”
“Maybe she will,” Janine said, “but I want to have Herbalina available for her, anyhow, just in case.”
She spotted Lucas pulling into the parking lot in a white Taurus and walked rapidly toward the car without saying
goodbye to either her mother or Joe. She was in the passenger seat before he even had a chance to open the door for her.
“Get me out of here,” she said, fastening her seatbelt across her chest. “Please.”
Two hours later, she and Lucas pulled into the parking lot of the medical building that housed Dr. Schaefer’s office.
“Oh, my God,” Janine said as she got out of the car.
“What is it?” Lucas asked her.
“I just realized that today is Thursday. Herbalina day. The kids in the study will be coming into Schaefer’s office all day for their IVs.”
“Is that a problem?”
“It’s just that—” she closed the car door, but didn’t move toward the building “—I’ll see all these children and mothers that I know, that Sophie and I saw every Monday and Thursday, only this time I won’t have Sophie with me.”
Lucas walked around the car and pulled her gently into a hug. “Do you want me to go in to get the Herbalina?” he asked. “You could call Schaefer on your cell phone and tell him it’s okay to give it to me.”
She shook her head and glanced toward the building. “Maybe this is nuts,” she stated. “I know Valerie Boykin thinks I’m crazy to bother getting Sophie’s medicine. I know she thinks Sophie’s dead. I’m afraid everyone who’s searching thinks she’s dead.”
“No, they don’t, Jan. You heard Valerie say that they’ll go into this with the assumption she’s alive.”
“They have more dogs who sniff out dead people than those who find live people,” she said.
“What makes you say that?”
“I counted.”
“Oh, Jan.” He hugged her again. “Don’t do this to yourself. They’re still calling in more search teams. They wouldn’t be out there in such force if they didn’t think there was a good chance she’s alive.”
“She
is
alive, Lucas. I know she is.”
He nodded. “I trust your intuition,” he said. “You and Sophie have a very strong bond, and if you’re feeling something that tells you she’s alive, then I’m willing to assume she is.”
He put his arm around her and began walking with her toward the building. Inside, they took the elevator to Schaefer’s office on the fourth floor.
The moment she saw Janine, Gina, Dr. Schaefer’s nurse, left the reception desk to come into the empty waiting room.
“Is there any word?” she asked, her hands on Janine’s arms.
“Not yet,” Janine said.
“We’re all praying for her,” Gina said. Like Sophie, Gina had red hair, and Janine knew there was more than the usual nurse-patient relationship between Gina and Sophie. “She’s a tough little girl,” Gina continued. “If any child could survive in the woods, it would be Sophie.”
“Thanks,” Janine said. She put her hand on Lucas’s shoulder. “You remember Lucas Trowell?” she asked. Lucas had come with her the first time Sophie had visited the office, the day before starting the treatment.
“Oh, of course,” Gina said. “The courage tree guy.”
Lucas smiled. “That’s me,” he said.
“Shall we sit down out here?” Janine asked. Even though the waiting room was empty, Janine knew Dr. Schaefer had plenty of patients in the large treatment room at the end of the hallway. Parents brought their children from as far away as California to participate in the study.
“No, don’t sit,” Gina said. “The moms want to see you. They all know.
Everyone
knows. It’s been on the news every few minutes.” She ushered Janine and Lucas down the hallway before either of them could protest. “You know, one good thing, at least it’s summer and not one of the cooler months,” she said, as they walked. “It gets so cold in the mountains at night in the spring and fall.”
The treatment room was a good size, but it was cramped with eight recliners, against the walls set in a circle. Six of the recliners held small children, and next to each of them sat a parent—five mothers, one father—and every one of the adults jumped to their feet when Janine and Lucas entered the room. Janine was instantly surrounded, accepting their hugs and quiet expressions of concern and curiosity. It was the morning contingent of the kids in the study. Seven, including Sophie, received their IVs in the morning; eight received theirs in the afternoon.
Janine turned, ready to introduce Lucas to the parents, but he had moved away from her. He was sitting at the side of one of the little girls, talking with her, already intent in conversation. Surprised and touched by the scene, Janine returned to her conversation with the parents.
“I’m going to get some Herbalina, so that when they find her, they can administer it right away,” she told them.
“Good idea,” said Diana, one of the mothers, and the others echoed the sentiment.
“Have they found anything at all?” Gary, the lone father, asked. “Any clues?”
She shook her head. “Just her shoe, but that was pretty close to the crash site.”
“We were so relieved to hear she wasn’t the girl in the car,” Lisa Pitts said, “though I just feel awful for that girl’s parents.”
Janine nodded, remembering Rebecca’s anger and grief from the morning before. She should get in touch with her to see how she was doing, but she couldn’t bring herself to make that call. After all, Sophie was still alive. She
was
. And Janine didn’t want to hear any more of Rebecca’s dire predictions.
Lucas came to stand at her side, and Janine introduced him to her friends.
“Are your kids doing as well on Herbalina as Sophie has?” he asked them.
Janine knew that the study participants had, in every case, improved greatly.
“It’s been miraculous,” Lisa said.
“Dr. Schaefer’s a genius,” said Diana.
“Jack only needed four hours of dialysis this week,” Gary said, and Janine felt tears sting her eyes. She squeezed Gary’s arm. Herbalina was a disease-altering treatment, no matter what Sophie’s conventional physicians said. The ability for these children to get by on less dialysis simply had to be proof.
“That’s so great,” she said. “Sophie was down to two nights a week.”
“What about side effects?” Lucas asked the parents. Janine loved his genuine interest. Joe never would have cared.
“Susan’s had
major
side effects,” said Bonnie Powell. “For example, she suddenly loves to eat, she’s on her in-line skates round the clock, and she’s happy all the time.”
Lucas laughed. “That must be wonderful.”
“What’s that about Zoe’s daughter being on the run near where Sophie is?” Diana asked.
“She escaped from prison,” Gary said. “They think she killed the warden who helped her escape, and that she’s in the same area as Sophie.”
“It’s a huge chunk of land,” Lucas reminded them, touching Janine’s arm in comfort. “If she’s out there, she’s miles away from where Sophie is.”
“Whew, that’s a relief,” Bonnie said. “After what she did to that actress, I don’t like the idea of her being anywhere near Sophie.”
“She’s not.” Janine smiled, taking strength from Lucas’s certainty that Martina Garson was no threat to her daughter.
Gina poked her head back in the room. “Dr. Schaefer has some Herbalina for you, Janine,” she said. “Come into his office.”
Janine looked at Lucas. “Come with me,” she said, and he followed her down the hall and into Schaefer’s office.
Dr. Schaefer got up from his desk and came forward to give
Janine a hug, but he drew back when he noticed Lucas. The doctor had not been in the office during Lucas’s previous visit, and Janine figured that he thought Lucas was Joe. But then she remembered that Joe and Schaefer had met when Joe visited the doctor to lambaste him for putting Sophie in his study. She started to introduce the two men, but Lucas beat her to it.
“I’m Lucas Trowell,” he said, reaching out with his hand. “I spoke with you on the phone the other night.”
“Yes.” Schaefer shook his hand. “I remember.” He reached for the small, soft-sided cooler resting on his desk, then turned to Janine. “You need to keep it cool,” he said, as he handed her the cooler. “I put the, uh, the prescription in there for you, along with the P.R.E.-5—the Herbalina—so you should be all set.”
“Right,” Janine said. “Now all we have to do is find Sophie.” She thanked the doctor, then started to leave the room, but Lucas didn’t budge.
“It sounds like your study’s going very well,” he said to the doctor.
“Yes, actually, it is.” Schaefer smiled that uncertain smile Janine was so used to seeing. No one could ever accuse him of being an arrogant physician. “The results are even better than I’d hoped for,” he continued. “I’ll be releasing the, uh, two-month data at a press conference in a few days. And we’ve decided to move the days of the infusion to Tuesdays and Thursdays, to see how the kids do on that schedule. So when they find Sophie, Janine, you’ll be bringing her in on Tuesdays rather than Mondays.”
“Great.” She appreciated his optimism.
“What about lab work?” Lucas asked. “I mean, I know Sophie’s doctors thought the improvement would be mostly symptomatic and temporary. Are you actually seeing a change in the blood work?”
Janine felt a bit embarrassed that Lucas was taking up so
much of the doctor’s time. “He cares a lot about Sophie,” she explained apologetically to Schaefer. “That’s why he’s so interested.”
“I understand,” Dr. Schaefer said. He answered the question about blood work, but it was still a few more minutes before Janine was able to get Lucas to leave.
Lucas smiled at her once they were in the hallway of the medical building. “Did I ask too many questions?” he asked her.
“No,” she said. “I think it’s sweet that you care.”
Lucas dropped her off at Ayr Creek, pulling the Taurus into the turnaround near the cottage. Janine reached for the handle on the car door, then hesitated.
“Why don’t I just wait here for you to finish your work and we can drive back to West Virginia together tonight?” she asked.
He shook his head as he got out of the car. “I can’t leave until tomorrow morning,” he said. “But we can be on the road at the crack of dawn. I promise.”
She got out of the car herself, then walked next to him toward the cottage. “I really don’t understand, Lucas,” she said. “Is it Joe? Did you just need to get away from him for a while? I know he’s been—”