“Why would I think that?” she asked, when she should have really inquired as to why it mattered to him. Somehow she knew.
He turned her fingers over and studied her palm in the dim lantern glow. “I’ve always thought you were special. But you only seemed to have eyes for Luke Lambright.” His sweet words washed over her. It wasn’t the response she had expected, but it answered so much more.
Had Elam had a crush on her all these years? Was she the reason he never married?
She shook the thought away. Ridiculous. She couldn’t have been the reason. He’d dated girls . . . hadn’t he?
Her eyes met his, and she couldn’t look away. She needed to say something . . . anything to break the spell she was under.
She opened her mouth, then screamed as a mummy jumped out from behind the trees at the edge of the forest.
Echoes of screams and laughter sounded all around them as the “haunted” part of the hayride began.
Terrified, she drew up her knees and buried her face in her skirt. Not the most dignified position, but it was better than risking an accidental glance at the monsters she could hear stirring in the surrounding woods.
Beside her Elam chuckled. Then she felt his arm around her as he pulled her close and tucked her chin into the shelter of his shoulder.
Warm and safe
. Those words perfectly described how she felt next to him. She was still scared out of her mind, but at least she knew he would be there to help her.
“Why did you agree to come on this trip?” His voice sounded just above her ear. She felt it before she heard it, as the question rumbled up from his chest before crossing his lips.
“Because I like your sister.”
He chuckled again. “Tell me how much you like her after this ride is over.”
Emily shook her head and buried her nose a little deeper into the edge of Elam’s coat.
Some chaperone she was turning out to be.
Elam smiled to himself as Emily snuggled a little closer to him. Having her this close was sweet torture. He wanted so badly to tell her how long he had waited for this moment, but would it really change anything?
That it might,
the logical side of him countered. He would never know unless he told her how he felt.
His heart thumped in his chest at the mere thought of confessing his love for her. He was twenty-five years old, and he had never once talked about his feelings with another. Especially not the girl he loved more than life itself.
The past couple of weeks had been even harder for him. To see her at his house, surrounded by his family . . . She had helped his
dat
come out of his shell, she had helped his
mamm
and his sisters with their work. And even helped him so they could chaperone the youth singing. Her constant presence only reinforced the fact that he wanted her with them, as part of his family for always and forever.
And how had he responded? With disdain and anger. He hadn’t meant to treat her poorly, but he had to protect his heart and his family. Yet here he was with her wrapped in his embrace like she never wanted to let him go.
Dare he hope?
There was only one way to find out.
Chapter Twelve
“Emily,” he whispered into her hair.
“Hmmm?” She didn’t lift her head, which was okay with him. He might have more courage to say what needed to be said if he didn’t have to stare into those midnight eyes. Plus, he loved the warmth of her soft breath on his neck.
“I’m sorry about the way I’ve acted toward you. I know you were only trying to help.”
“It’s
allrecht
.” She snuggled down a little closer; he was sure to block out all the noise going on around them. Monsters he couldn’t identify jumped out from behind trees and haystacks. The youth group delighted in being scared. The girls screamed while the boys laughed and pretended to protect them.
“Can I . . . uhum . . . can I tell you something?” His voice cracked like a young teen’s, and he was glad for the cover of the darkness. It hid the hot flush creeping up his neck.
“
Jah
.”
“It’s just that I—” Before he could finish the sentence the driver hollered, “Whoa,” and the wagon slowed to a stop.
“Is it over?” Emily lifted her head, her gaze hesitantly bouncing around. She still had her hands fisted in the lapels of his coat
“I don’t know,” he said, looking around. “Maybe.”
But if he were going to end a hayride, it certainly wouldn’t be in the middle of the woods. Yet the teens stood up and climbed from the back of the wagon. Stretching and . . . waiting? Perhaps they would serve refreshments.
Elam pushed up from the wagon and reached out a hand to help Emily to her feet. He loved the feel of her fingers entwined with his and was loath to let her go. What would she do if he didn’t? What would she do if he just kept holding her hand all night long?
The question wouldn’t be answered as he hopped down from the back of the wagon. He couldn’t very well stay glued to her side as he jumped to the ground. Even better, he got to place his hands on her waist and hoist her down beside him. His fingers longed to stay on her waist, just linger there, absorbing her warmth and the essence that was Emily. He knew he couldn’t stay that way for long. After a while, someone was bound to notice and say—
“Zombies!”
Emily’s eyes widened in fear. Elam glanced around and sure enough, zombies lurched from the woods. They walked slowly toward the groups of youngsters who squealed and laughed and scrambled back into the wagons. Elam lifted Emily into the buckboard once again, following behind her with a laugh.
“I don’t see what is so funny, Elam Riehl.”
“Not a thing.” He did his best to squelch his chuckles, then executed a quick head count and whistled for the driver to set the wagon in motion once again.
He smiled to himself as Emily tucked her head into his shoulder once more. If he’d known this was what it would take to get close to Emily Ebersol, he’d have scheduled a haunted hayride years ago.
Emily pressed her face into Elam’s coat and tried her best not to breathe too deeply. Every breath she took pulled in more and more of his scent. It was an odd combination of outdoors, laundry detergent, and shave cream. Somehow, on him, it was irresistible.
His chest rumbled beneath her fingertips.
“It’s not funny, Elam Riehl.”
Suppressed laughter gained a voice, and his chuckles filled the air around them. “I have it on good faith that it is.”
“To you maybe.”
If she hadn’t had her face pressed against him, she wouldn’t have felt the small hitch in his breath. It was tiny, just a little catch that would have otherwise gone unnoticed.
Her own breath lodged in her throat. This was too intimate by far. She was cuddled up to Elam, more than likely giving him the wrong idea about her . . . about them.
She pushed herself away from the protective warmth of his embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered into the night. She didn’t want any of the youths to hear. After all, she had come along as an escort. Instead, what kind of example had she been setting for the group?
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, but he let her go.
Had she imagined the intimacy of his tone or the implications that he wanted to say more to her?
She must have.
“I shouldn’t have come,” she said. “I should have known better.”
He shook his head. “You were trying to do something nice for someone else. That is not without its own rewards.”
Confusion swamped her. She had started this as a favor to Becky, but now it seemed like so much more was happening. Or had she just imagined it? Had Elam held her with more tenderness than he would have anyone else?
She chanced a quick look in his direction. Whether it was the cover of the night or something else, she couldn’t tell. His expression was unreadable.
Maybe she had imagined the whole thing.
As October faded into November, the market closed, and the wedding season geared up.
“Are you ready to go?” Emily tied her black travel bonnet under her chin and waited as Mary came hurrying out of the kitchen.
“I’m coming. I’m coming.”
“Do you need an extra blanket?”
Mamm
called as they grabbed their wool coats and plain black scarves. It was cold for early November, but the sun shone brightly in the sky, promising warm temperatures as the day wore on.
“I think we’ll be
allrecht
.” Mary tied her bonnet, and Emily shifted from foot to foot.
She had been more than a little impatient these days. Her normally even disposition seemed to be a bit on edge, like she was waiting for something to happen. She felt like she had when the monsters jumped out at their wagon during the haunted hayride. Whatever was about to happen could occur at any minute, and she wasn’t quite ready for it.
“Tell Jonah’s
mudder
I’m sorry I have to miss it,”
Mamm
said, pressing the wrinkles out of Bea’s
fur gut
apron.
“She understands,
Mamm
.” Emily tried her best to take the edge out of her voice, but a tad of it crept in anyway. There were three weddings today. And that was in their district alone. Her
mamm
and other sisters were heading to one wedding while she and Mary were heading off to another.
“Be safe, girls,”
Mamm
called as they headed out the door.
“
Was iss letz,
Emily? You’ve been acting strange all day,” Mary said as they hurried along toward their buggy.
“I have not.”
“You’re right,” Mary said with a quick nod. “It’s been longer than that. You’ve been acting strange since you chaperoned the hayride for Becky Riehl . . . .” Mary’s words trailed off and a grin took their place on her lips. “Did something happen between you and Elam?”
The heat started somewhere under the collar of her dress and worked its way clear up to her hairline. The flush was so great, the cold November air seemed like an Arctic blast against her skin. “I do not know what you are talking about.”
Mary’s smile widened, and Emily did her best to ignore it, to act natural. Yet her every step seemed forced and jerky. “It is a sin to lie, Emily Jane.”
She sighed. She never could keep anything from her sister. “Nothing happened,” she said. “Not really. But something. . .” She climbed into the buggy, and Mary followed suit. Her sister pulled the thick wool blanket from the back and set it between them, ready in case they needed the extra warmth.
“He likes you, you know,” Mary said once they were both seated.
Emily pretended to be wholly concentrating on turning the buggy around and heading the horses down the driveway, but in truth she didn’t know how to respond to such a claim. “He does not,” she finally sputtered.
Mary nodded. “Oh
jah,
he does. I’ve seen how he looks at you when he thinks you won’t see.”
“That is ridiculous.”
“During church, after church, at the market that day.” Mary ticked off the places on her gloved fingers.
Emily harrumphed. Not exactly the most convincing argument, but the best she could do considering. She had been wondering the same thing. Wondering if Elam was somehow holding back from expressing himself to her. Or if she had imagined the whole thing. It was so confusing. To make matters worse, she couldn’t erase the memory of his scent as she buried her face in his strong form. Looking back, she found her behavior childish, but at the time she had been scared. Oh, what he must think of her now. If he cared about her before, he must surely think she was a ninny now.
“You know I love Luke.” The words almost stuck in her throat, but she managed to get them out into the chilly afternoon air. “He’s going to come back soon, and then none of this will matter.”
Mary stared at her. Emily could feel the sting of her crystal blue eyes. “Are you trying to convince me or you?”
As much as she hated to admit it, she was trying to get herself to believe the words to be true. Her last conversation with Luke haunted her. “I’m not coming home” echoed inside her head over and over like the music they played in the bank. There was no escaping it.
Luke said he wasn’t coming back. And if he didn’t . . .
“Maybe Luke is the reason Elam has never confessed his feelings for you.”
The words were like an iceberg, so much hiding below the surface.
Emily shook her head. There was more to it than that. Or nothing at all. “Elam doesn’t like me.”
“And there, my dear sister, is where you are wrong.”
In keeping with tradition, the wedding was a huge celebration. The bride’s family had spent weeks getting ready, making food and desserts, cleaning the house, and otherwise sprucing up everything. Four hundred people or more were in attendance. The wedding was a bit loud, a little chaotic, and filled with food, fun, and fellowship.
After the sermon and the exchanging of vows, everyone settled down to eat while the attendants fluttered about making sure the guests had everything they needed.
Emily’s gaze drifted toward the newlywed couple. They sat in the
eck,
the special corner of the table reserved just for them. They looked so happy, a bit bashful, and genuinely enjoying themselves as they were surrounded by friends and family.
Suddenly she wanted that more than anything.
“You’re not eating very much.”
Emily whirled around, pressing her free hand to her chest. In the other, she held the plate of food in question. “Elam,
gut himmel,
you scared me.” A small laugh escaped her as she sucked in a gulp of air to bring her heart rate under control.
He smiled, revealing his even white teeth. Now why hadn’t she ever noticed that before? Because he never smiled? Or because of her sister’s crazy words about him liking her? “Maybe you are a bit jumpy still from the other night.”
“Of course not.” She laughed again, suddenly feeling like everyone in the room was staring at her . . . and Elam . . . and talking about them. Which was ridiculous.
“I’ve missed seeing you at the house this week.” His words were so quietly spoken, she almost didn’t hear them at all.
She swung her gaze to his, meeting his unreadable green eyes. “I’ve been busy.”
“
Jah
. Getting the market shut down and such.”
She nodded. It had been almost three weeks since she had been to the Riehls’ farm. “Mary’s been by,
jah?
”
“For sure. But
Dat
has missed seeing you.”
Truth was she had missed him too, but she hadn’t wanted to risk running into Elam. She hadn’t wanted him to get the wrong impression about her. Or an even worse one than he already had.
“Maybe you could drop by this afternoon and say hi.”
Emily looked down at her deep purple dress. “I am dressed for it, for sure.”
Elam smiled. “It would mean a lot to me . . . I mean, to him.” A red flush started at his neck and worked its way up. Mary’s earlier words tossed around inside her head.
He likes you, you know.
“
Jah,
Elam Riehl, I will come by this afternoon.”
After the second cake was served, the young people started gathering in the barn for an evening of singing.
Emily was lingering, talking with Caroline and Lorie and otherwise enjoying this afternoon off. Her sisters had promised to take care of all the milking for her and Mary today as long as the two of them took care of everything tomorrow. And of course the promise of a piece of wedding cake brought home to them only sweetened the deal.
“Aaron is staying.” Mary sidled up behind Emily and whispered in her ear. “Can we stay, please?”
“I promised Elam Riehl I would come by this afternoon and visit with his
vatter,
” Emily said.
Lorie nudged Caroline in the ribs. “I told you.”
“You told her what?” Emily looked from one of them to the other, but their faces were pulled into innocent expressions. She looked to Mary, who quickly glanced away. “Told her what?” she asked again.
“That there is something going on between you and Elam Riehl,” Caroline answered.
“There is nothing going on.” She looked to Mary who shrugged.
“That’s not how Johnathan Miller tells it.” Lorie’s smile was cheesy and full of sass.
“Aaron and Jonah’s
bruder?
” Emily swung her gaze from one
maedel
to the other.
“Johnathan was in the wagon with you and Elam during the hayride,” Lorie added. “He said the two of you were all cuddled up together as if you were the only ones there.”
“We . . . I . . . uh . . .” She couldn’t manage to form one sentence in her defense. She had been cuddled up to Elam, but that didn’t mean anything. And how could she have not noticed Johnathan Miller in that wagon? “Mary, why didn’t you say something?” She turned her accusing eyes to her sister. After all, she dated Johnathan’s older brother.