Read Courting the Clown Online
Authors: Cathy Quinn
The girls kept playing in the snow, even after the cold forced Sylvie to retreat inside. A novice at babysitting, she wasn’t sure how much she was allowed to take her eyes off them. So, to be on the safe side, she sat by the window, watching their every move. She even opened a window and yelled if they strayed out of sight on the other side of the tiny hill.
Twenty-two minutes, and everything was still fine. So far, so good. There was nothing to be worried about. They were two wonderful little girls, and hadn’t done anything to terrify her since that horrible birthday party weeks ago. And that really had been her own fault. She’d not only let them smell her fear, she’d let them make a banquet out of it. Children pushed until they came to boundaries - it was their nature. Probably served some noble evolutionary purpose or something. Back at that birthday party, she hadn’t given them boundaries. She hadn’t known how.
Two snowy little girls suddenly stood there by the window, cheeks red, and their smiles pulling at her heartstrings. She gestured them towards the back door – and a few minutes later she stood, helplessly holding a huge pile of wet clothes.
“You can just hang up the snow suits,” Lana said helpfully, pointing at a hanger. “And we put our mittens on the radiator to dry.”
“Okay.” Sylvie followed her directions.
“Then we get hot cocoa,” Lana said. “With marshmallows. And a cookie.”
“Two cookies!” Emily corrected.
“Right. Hot cocoa and cookies coming right up.”
Help. Now she had to rummage through Nick’s kitchen cabinets. And, oh boy, were they a chaotic mess. Fortunately the girls could guide her in the right direction, and then all three of them sat at the kitchen table together.
Sylvie had been naïve enough to put a whole plate of cookies on the table. The girls hoarded them. Emily had one in each hand, while Lana let it suffice to eat fast.
One or two cookies each, depending on which girl to believe. There probably was a reason for that rule, she thought ruefully as she watched Emily gobble up her fifth cookie. They probably wouldn’t have much interest in dinner tonight, but well, the circumstances were special.
Afterwards, the girls brought a mountain of toys into the living room and sat down to play. Sylvie sat on the sofa, watching. Emily gave her a smile, displaying her newly lost tooth. “Iffy, you wanna play too?” she asked. “We’ve got an extra doll, if you don’t mind that her arm is broken.”
Sylvie moved into the room, sitting on the floor next to the girls. “What happened to her arm?”
“It got broken.” Emily looked uncomfortable. “It was an accident and I’m really sorry.” She kissed the doll in question in apology before handing her over to Sylvie. “Daddy’s going to fix it.” She shrugged. “He said I play better with boys’ toys, but I like dolls too. I just didn’t know her arm would break. I was playing parachutes, only it didn’t open.”
Sylvie grinned as she accepted the poor injured adventure doll. “Dolls look like babies, don’t they?” she asked. “Maybe it’s safest to treat them like babies and be really careful with them.”
“Babies are yucky,” Emily proclaimed. “They wear diapers. Ew!”
“So did you,” her sister pointed out. “When you were little.”
“Yucky,” Emily muttered, not about to give up her point.
The phone rang. Sylvie looked around, but Lana beat her to it, sprang up and fetched her the phone. “Falcon’s house,” she answered. Maybe she could sound like the housekeeper. Or the nanny.
“It’s me,” Nick said. “My mother is fine. False alarm. I’m on my way home.”
“Thank God.” She moved into the kitchen so the girls wouldn’t hear, but Lana followed her. “Everything’s okay?”
“Yeah. Her heart is fine. She’s feeling rather embarrassed right now. But at least we managed to have a heart-to-heart talk – pun intended. I think things might be a bit easier from now on.”
“Good,” Sylvie said, although she had little idea what he’s talking about. It looked like Nick and his mother didn’t get along?
“How are things on your end?”
“Fine. We’re doing well. We played outside a bit, then had cocoa and cookies.” She rolled her eyes exaggerated at Lana who grinned back. “We had a lot of cookies.”
Nick chuckled. “I guess I should have warned you about that.”
“I don’t think they’ll have much appetite for dinner,” she confessed.
“Don’t worry about it. I really appreciate your help. I’ll be home in about an hour – if traffic permits.”
“No problem.”
“Your dad is on his way home,” she told Lana. “One hour. How about we clean up the mess in the living room?”
Lana nodded and danced ahead. She stopped short when she came to a mountain of toys – but no mountaineer.
“Emily?” Sylvie called. “Where are you?”
No reply. Sylvie checked behind the sofas, then the bedrooms, Lana following.
“Where can she be?” Sylvie asked, frustrated –- and starting to worry. Emily was probably just teasing them. Playing hide and seek. “Emily! This isn’t funny! Come out here!”
No reply.
“Where’s Emily?” Lana’s eyes were wild, her breathing fast, and her whole little body wired. “Where’s my sister?” She started running around the house, yelling her sister’s name.
“Lana!” She finally caught up with the child and managed to drag her into her arms. “Hey. Don’t panic. It’s okay. We’ll find her.”
The girl was sobbing now. “Where’s my sister? Where’s Emily?”
“I don’t know. Let’s play private eyes, okay? First thing we should do is look for her shoes, okay? She won’t have left the house without her shoes on, so if we find her shoes, we know she’s still inside.”
Lana ran to the back door where they’d left their shoes. Lana’s shoes were still there, sitting in a puddle of melted snow, but Emily’s shoes were not.
Sylvie yanked the back door open. Sure enough, there was Emily. In her boots, wearing an open jacket, no scarf, no mittens... demonstrating the snowball launcher to a little boy her own age.
She looked down at Lana, and both of them sagged in relief. Then Lana started sobbing.
“Oh, Lana....” Sylvie knelt down and hugged the child close. “It’s okay. Emily gave us a bit of a fright, but she’s there. She’s safe. And she’s in trouble,” she added sternly. “I’m pretty sure she’s now allowed to leave the house like that without asking. Right?”
Lana nodded, her tears still soaking Sylvie’s shoulder, her little body trembling.
Was this normal? Was it normal for a seven year old to panic when her little sister was out of sight?
“Lana? Why are you so worried?” Sylvie asked.
“I’m afraid Emily’s leaving and never coming back,” Lana whispered.
“Why would she be leaving?”
“Because she’s just my half-sister.” Sylvie could barely make out the words.
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know enough about this family. “Half-sister,” she repeated, and Lana’s tearstained face made a brief appearance.
“Yes. My dad is not her real dad. So maybe she’ll go away and I won’t have a sister anymore.”
“Your father loves Emily just as much as he loves you,” she told Lana, knowing it was true. “Don’t worry, kiddo. She’ll always be your sister.”
“Forever?”
Sylvie couldn’t help smiling. “Until you decide to leave home. Probably until you go to college.”
“I don’t want to go to college,” Lana decided.
“Even then you can come home for holidays. Your daddy will always be your daddy. For you and for Emily.”
“Promise?” Lana whispered, and Sylvie nodded. She might not be in a position to make this kind of a promise, but she felt sure enough she was telling the truth.
“Promise. I know Emily will never be sent away, Lana. The two of you will always be together.”
Lana sighed. It was a sigh of relief, and Sylvie cuddled her closer. Lana put her arms around Sylvie’s neck and relaxed against her. “You too?” she asked. “Will you always be with us too?”
Oh, God.
Sylvie stared out the window, wondering what to say.
“I’ll always be your friend,” she said at last.
“Forever?”
Where did the kid get this forever-obsession from?
“Forever,” she said. She’d never forget the two girls. Or their father. It was a safe promise to make.
Lana yawned. “I’m going to ask Daddy to marry you.”
Sylvie’s heart contracted. “Oh, honey... No. Please don’t do that.”
“Why not? Don’t you want to?”
Sylvie gulped down air, and tried to figure out what to say. Nothing intelligent came to mind. “Honey...” She put her arms around the child. “It doesn’t work that way. People only get married if they want to. If they love each other. Not because their kid asks them to. That wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“Don’t you love us?”
Kids, Sylvie sighed inwardly. Manipulative little heartbreakers. “I love all three of you. That’s not the point.”
“So are you going to say no?”
“Your father isn’t going to ask me, Lana.”
“He won’t say no if we ask him to,” Lana said, her eyes wide and innocent, yet full of childish guile. “I know he won’t.”
Oh, God. Sylvie felt despair well up from withi. Despair and sadness, and the need to fling herself into bed and have a good cry for about seventeen hours. She hoped and prayed Lana wasn’t right. “Lana,” she said firmly. “That is not how these things work.”
The child’s eyes filled with tears. She tore herself away from Sylvie and ran into her room. Sylvie groaned as she heard the sound of sobbing. She gave herself a few minutes, then knocked on the door to the child’s room and entered. She sat down on the bed and took Lana into her arms. She struggled a bit, then rested against her shoulder, still hiccupping, her face wet with tears. “I’ll always be your friend, Lana,” she said. “No matter what happens. Forever. Okay?”
Lana didn’t respond, but she didn’t pull away either. Her sobbing slowed down, and then her breathing calmed, and she was asleep. Sylvie debated with herself for a while – the kid was still dressed, and hadn’t brushed her teeth, but in the end turned off the lights, made sure the night-light was on, and left the door half-open. Her father could brush sleeping teeth when he got home.
Nick closed the door into the girls’ bedroom. He took her hand and walked into the living room, where he wrapped his arms around her and hugged tightly. “Thank you,” he said into her hair. “Thanks for being here today. For helping me out.”
“You’re welcome,” she mumbled into his shoulder. All sorts of feeling vibrated through her body. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to let go.
But then he did. And she remembered Lana’s words, her innocent appeal, and the proposal she would undoubtedly suggest soon. She looked up into Nick’s eyes and tried to focus on what she saw in there.
I am happy.
For them – or for his girls?
Nick touched her face, and she stepped back. “Lana had a total breakdown when she couldn’t find her sister,” she told him.
Nick’s hand fell to the side, and she saw question in his eyes. She looked away, avoiding the answer.
“I’m sorry.” Nick said. “I should have warned you. Lana’s very protective of her little sister. She does tend to panic if she doesn’t know where Emily is.”
“Do you know why?”
Nick shrugged. “She’s always taken the big sister role very seriously. I guess she feels responsible for Emily.”
Sylvie sat down in an armchair. That way he wouldn’t be able to sit down next to her, and blast her good sense with the magnetic effect he had on her. She needed to tell him about Lana’s revelation. She wasn’t sure how significant it was, but he needed to know.
Only problem was, this was none of her business.
“Nick – we need to talk.”
“I agree,” he said, and took a seat on the sofa. “Why don’t you move over here for our talk?”
His eyes were glinting with mischief. It wouldn’t do. “It’s about the girls.”
“What about them?”
She took a deep breath. “Have you talked to the girls about their... paternity?”
His head lifted. His eyes narrowed, and he looked angry. “What are you talking about?”
“Emily.”
“How do you know?”
“Lana told me.”
Nick looked down at the carpet. “I see. I guess I’d hoped they’d forgotten.”
“She’s worried about losing Emily because she’s not your real daughter.”
Nick’s eyes flashed in sudden anger. “Not my real daughter? They’re both my
real
daughters. I was there when they were born, both of them. I raised them. I changed their diapers and I will probably – God help me – be the one who gives them away at their wedding. They’re both mine. Equally mine.”
“But not genetically,” she said. “Right?”