Authors: Doris Davidson
Scarlet now, she nodded shyly and Neil’s triumphant yell was followed by his neighbour’s sigh. ‘Thank God. Maybe now we’ll all get some peace.’
‘I’m so embarrassed,’ Freda whispered.
He grabbed her hand. ‘I’m not. I’m so happy I could shout it from the rooftops.’
‘You nearly did.’
‘I suppose I can’t kiss you in here?’
‘I should think not. You’ve made a big enough exhibition of us already.’
She sounded so serious that he said, ‘Are you angry with me?’
‘Not really. It was just so unexpected but I’m glad we got it sorted out. We could have gone on and on without knowing.’
‘That’s what I thought.’
They held hands until it was time for her to leave. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she smiled, as she stood up, then leaned forward and kissed his brow. ‘Will that do,
darling?’
‘It’ll do to be going on with.’ He watched her walking away, and returned the wave she gave him before she turned into the corridor, then he lay back, smiling contentedly. She
had called him ‘darling’! He had never felt like this before, never in his entire life. It was true that every cloud had a silver lining. If he hadn’t smashed himself up, he would
never have met Freda.
From what Gracie could gather from Neil’s letters now, he had fallen head over heels in love. ‘It’s Freda this, Freda that, in every one,’ she wailed to
her husband one night. ‘If there was ever anything between him and Queenie, there’s nothing on his side now, and that’s a mixed blessing, for I can’t help feeling sorry for
her and I’m none too happy about him being so serious about this other girl. He’s not even twenty yet.’
Joe heaved a great sigh, ‘Ach, Gracie, you’ll find things to worry about when you get to heaven. I hope I go first, so I can warn St Peter not to pay any attention to you.’
Somewhat offended, she snapped, ‘And you never worry about a thing, though this Freda’s maybe not the kind of lassie you’d want your son to get involved with.’
‘If he wants to get involved with her, it wouldn’t matter how much we worried. It’s his life, so let him get on with it.’
Freda’s name cropped up in Neil’s letters too often for Olive’s peace of mind. After putting Queenie out of the running, it was galling to think that
competition was cropping up from another direction and she couldn’t ask him anything in a letter. She’d have to wait until he came home and if he really was in love with this girl, he
wouldn’t be able to hide it. Then she would have to put her thinking cap on. It would be more difficult to deal with a rival who was so far away, but she would have to do something.
When Neil wrote to say that he would be home in a week, Gracie felt the need of advice and her husband was the only one she could ask, ‘I haven’t said anything to
Queenie about him being in love, but should I tell her, to warn her, or will I leave it till we see what he says himself?’
After giving it some consideration, Joe said, ‘I think you’d be best to leave it. I know you’re concerned for her, but we can’t interfere. Anyway, you’re maybe
imagining things.’
Neil didn’t look as bad as Queenie had expected. He was still a bit pale, but that was only natural, and he was walking with a stick, though he told his mother that he
didn’t really need it. There was a nasty puckered mark on his cheek and a deep scar on his nose, but that was all.
‘So the wounded warrior’s returned?’ Joe was saying. ‘I hope you realise you gave your mother an awful fright?’
‘I got quite a fright myself,’ Neil smiled.
‘Well, I hope it’ll learn you to be careful on the road. How did it happen, your smash up?’
Neil grinned. ‘I’d an argument with an oil drum. It must have fallen off some lorry, and I didn’t see it. If I hadn’t been in hospital, I’d have been on a charge
for wrecking the bike.’
‘You’ll maybe be put on a charge when you go back.’
‘The adjutant says they’ll overlook it this time.’
‘Good.’ Gracie pushed him into a chair. ‘Your breakfast’s in the oven – I’ll just take it out.’
Neil turned to Queenie, ‘I believe I’ve to congratulate you on passing all your exams?’
‘Thanks, I’ll be starting university in October.’ She wondered if he could hear her heart thumping, it was going mad . . . just because he had spoken to her again.
‘I always knew you were just as clever as Olive.’ He did not notice the shadow that crossed her face and picked up his fork and knife to tackle the heaped plate his mother set down.
‘No Palais for me this time, but what about going to the pictures with me tomorrow night?’
Gracie raised her eyebrows and shot a worried glance at Joe, but Queenie said, trying not to appear too eager, ‘Yes, thanks, I’d like that.’
As usual, Joe had to leave to open the shop at eight and as Queenie helped Gracie with the dishes, Neil said, ‘I think I’ll lie down for a while.’
‘Off you go, then.’ His mother could see that he was tired.
Nothing was said for a minute or two, then Queenie observed, self-consciously, ‘He’s looking quite well, considering.’
Gracie nodded. ‘He could do with feeding up a bit, but he’s a lot better than I thought he’d be. You know . . . I thought the two of you had quarrelled last time, but . .
.’
‘We didn’t quarrel. I don’t know why he was like that but I’m glad he’s got over it.’
For the rest of the day, Queenie tried to imagine what Neil might say to her when he took her out. Would he apologise and tell her why he’d behaved in that awful way? Perhaps he would kiss
her as if it had never happened? She would be quite happy with that, and happier still if he told her that he loved her, then she could tell him how much she loved him. She went to bed that night
with a song in her heart.
It was very wet the next morning but Neil said that he would go out anyway. ‘I’ll go and have a yarn with the lads I used to work with. Some of them will still be there, the older
men, at any rate, and I’ll carry on to Hetty’s in the afternoon. I’ll be back for tea, in plenty of time for the pictures,’ he added, smiling at Queenie.
She pottered around all day, helping with the housework, but her mind was on Neil. Olive was on holiday too and he would see her when he went to Rubislaw Den. Would he ask her out as well? It
was more than likely, Queenie thought sadly. She was positive that he didn’t like Olive but she didn’t trust the girl. She would try every trick she knew to get Neil and she would
double her efforts if she found out about tonight.
‘Isn’t it about time you started getting dressed?’ Gracie had been taking her washing in from the drying green – the rain had gone off just before lunch – and her
niece’s pensive, dejected expression disquieted her even more than the renewed hope that had been on her face when Neil gave his invitation. ‘You’d best be ready before teatime,
so you can get out early.’
When Neil came back, he said, ‘That dress suits you, Queenie. It picks up the colour of your eyes.’
She was embarrassed, but delighted. ‘I made it myself.’
Gracie beamed. ‘She’s good with her hands, and it was a bit of material I’ve had lying for a long time. She’ll make a good wife to some lucky man some day.’
The girl flushed, but Neil laughed, ‘Don’t forget to send me an invitation to the wedding, Queenie.’
It was as if her legs had been shot out from under her and she sat down abruptly. He couldn’t love her, not when he said a thing like that. She had been living in a fool’s paradise,
like Olive had told her once . . . unless . . . he hadn’t wanted his mother to know how he felt? Not yet, when he hadn’t told her, Queenie? But he would tell her . . . tonight!
The rain had been spitting again when they left to go to the Capitol Cinema, but the pavements were dry when they came out. Queenie had been disappointed that Neil hadn’t taken her hand
while they were watching the film but her stomach was churning with anticipation as they walked home. He wouldn’t tell her in the street, he would wait till nobody could see them when they
went into the lobby of the tenement. ‘Does your leg bother you much?’ she asked, to take her mind off the joy to come.
‘It’s a bit stiff after sitting so long without being able to stretch it,’ he admitted.
‘I’m glad you weren’t seriously hurt.’
‘So am I.’ He laughed for a moment, then looked at her with an expression she couldn’t quite place. ‘Queenie, I’m sorry I was so nasty to you last time.’
‘It’s all right, though I did wonder why . . .’
‘It’s not all right. What you do is no business of mine.’
‘What do you mean?’ She felt a prickle of apprehension now.
‘I was angry before, but I’ve had time to think, and . . . other things have happened that made me . . . well, I do care about you, like a sister . . . and just be careful,
that’s all.’
She could not grasp what he was trying to say, but one phrase had dashed all her hopes. ‘Like a sister.’ He thought of her as a sister! He didn’t love her. He had never loved
her. She kept walking mechanically, wishing miserably that she was dead.
The stony silence was not what Neil had expected and he felt out of his depth. He had thought that she would deny what she had done with the other boy, and had planned to make her admit it and
to warn her of the risks she was running, but because she had said nothing, he began to doubt Olive’s story. He ought to have questioned her about it when he saw her . . . better yet, he
should have done the decent thing and asked Queenie herself if it was true. It was too late for that, so he just said, ‘I’m really sorry for what I thought.’
Giving a little sniff, she whispered, ‘What did you think?’
He avoided the question. ‘I wish I . . .’
Her eyes were swimming with tears when she looked up at him. ‘Will you tell me something, Neil?’
‘Anything.’
‘Did Olive say something bad about me? Is that why . . .?’
He hesitated. What good would it do to tell her? She might go and have it out with Olive and she would likely be more hurt. ‘No, Olive had nothing to do with it. I was wrong to think what
I did, but let it go at that, Queenie, please.’
‘You’re in love with Freda, aren’t you?’
‘Is it that obvious?’
She smiled, wistfully. ‘Yes, it is.’ There was something she still had to find out, however. ‘Did you never love me?’
Her pleading face tightened a screw in his heart. He had been a proper heel to her and she deserved an honest answer. ‘I did love you, Queenie, very much, but I got it into my head somehow
or other that you loved somebody else, then I met Freda.’
‘I know . . . so it’s all over.’
He opened the door for her when they reached their tenement, but grasped her arm when she put her foot on the first tread of the stairs. ‘I hope there’s no ill feeling,
Queenie?’
‘None.’
‘Show me, then. I do still care for you, you know, more than I should. I wouldn’t want to kiss my sister, would I?’
‘Oh, Neil,’ she sighed.
He knew he was mad, he knew that it was unfair to her, but he couldn’t help himself. ‘You’ll always have a part of my heart,’ he murmured. It was true, he reflected, as
their lips met. She was his first love and he would never forget her.
He made no attempt to stop her when she pulled away from him. ‘That’s the last time, Neil, the very last,’ she whispered, ‘so don’t ever ask me out again, because I
just couldn’t bear it.’ Turning blindly, she ran up the stairs.
Unravelling an old jumper to get wool for knitting blankets, Gracie looked up in alarm when Queenie burst into the house and went straight to her bedroom. A moment later, Neil looked round the
kitchen door. ‘Goodnight, Mum,’ was all he said, before he too went to his room. Perplexed, Gracie went to tell Joe. ‘I’m nearly sure Queenie was crying when she came in,
and Neil was a bit upset, as well. I hope they haven’t quarrelled again . . .’
Breaking off, she thought for a moment, then went on, ‘Surely he wouldn’t have tried anything with her?’
‘God, woman,’ Joe exclaimed, ‘the things you come up with. One minute you’re saying he’s in love with Freda, and the next minute you’re thinking he’s .
. .’
‘No,’ she interrupted, ‘he wouldn’t do a thing like that, but maybe he’s told her he loves Freda and that’s what’s upset her so much. She’ll get
over it, though, and it’s the best thing that could happen, when all’s said and done.’
Joe cast his eyes to the roof. ‘You change your mind oftener than I change my socks. Now are you coming to bed?’
Having arranged the date with Olive the previous day, Neil took her to the Regent, although he hadn’t felt like going out with her at all. The main feature was a musical
he’d have enjoyed if his mind hadn’t kept turning to Queenie. He bitterly regretted what had happened, she had been quite happy until he came out with that sermon. She hadn’t
understood what he was trying to say, for he hadn’t accused her outright, thank goodness, but he must have set her puzzling. Nothing had gone as he had planned; it had escalated into him
telling her things he hadn’t meant to tell her, but it had taught him a lesson and he’d steer clear of anything personal when he took Olive home, he wouldn’t even tax her with
telling lies. It was over and done with.
After standing for the national anthem when the show ended, they made their way out and had turned the corner at Holburn Junction when Olive said, ‘You haven’t said much tonight,
Neil. Are your legs bothering you?’
‘There’s nothing wrong with me or my legs,’ he snarled, then felt ashamed. She had only asked out of sympathy. ‘I’m sorry I snapped. I’m not very good company
sometimes.’
She smiled. ‘That’s understandable. Don’t worry about it.’
They carried on slowly – partly because of his gammy leg, but mainly because it was such a beautiful evening – and were in Albyn Place before Olive observed, ‘I love strolling
along here, maybe it’s the the peace and tranquillity, but it makes me feel good, especially when you’re with me.’ Trailing her hand along the top of a hedge, she looked up at him
coyly. ‘Do you think of me at all when you’re in Alnwick, or does Freda take your mind off everything else?’