Let them fire her if they wanted to—Michelle was not going to be driven crazy by people at a job. She stared daggers at her team leader. Tonya still had that goofy smile on her face. What was it going to take for her to get it?
She didn’t care what happened, she was going to give Tonya a piece of her mind. Michelle jerked her desk drawers open. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have gotten sucked in? Of course it wasn’t Todd’s handwriting. Of course it was Tonya. It was Tonya, who had taken Michelle on as her personal missionary task. It was Tonya, who kept giving her unwanted gifts—unwanted because Michelle knew there was really a price to be paid for everything.
She looked in her lower right-hand drawer at all the little books of
inspiration
Tonya had left on her desk in the past few months. Of course it was Tonya. Who else was so very
holy?
Who else was out to make her life so miserable? The books were irritating and Tonya was irritating.
Michelle looked across the room. Tonya was still sitting there—looking tired, dried up, and stupid. Where did she get off doing this kind of stuff? Michelle used her hand to knock the little books around her drawer. They were all colors—blue, red, yellow, purple, orange, and white. There were booklets authored by people with names unfamiliar to her. Michelle had read about one page of each of them before she dropped them into the black hole at the bottom of her desk drawer. The drawer was filled with them, all little gifts from Tonya. And underneath all the books that were scattered like confetti was a Bible—a
Woman Thou Art Loosed
Bible. It was still in its original packaging, still unopened.
This was it.
This was it!
Michelle shoved the flowers toward the edge of her desk and almost knocked them over. This was it. Why couldn’t she just have some peace? This was the last straw.
What is Tonya’s malfunction anyway? Is she stalking me?
Michelle slammed the drawer shut. She was sick of all of them—Trench, Todd, and Tonya.
Actually, Michelle knew what the malfunction was. She didn’t need advice from Ann Landers, and she didn’t need to ask Abby or even Erma Bombeck. It was the same thing that had been going on, probably since time began. It was the story of someone who viewed himself as more powerful trying to lord it over the little guy. It was Goliath against David. It was corporations against small business. It was bosses against employees. It was men against women. It was superpowers against third world countries.
It was Tonya against her.
Let’s get ready to rumble!
It was all the same thing—someone more powerful, someone with more authority, forcing his or her will on someone weaker. The issue might change but it was all the same thing. It was the basis for time clocks at work. It was all about power. Power made her mother’s boyfriend feel that he could abuse her. Power made her mother force Michelle to be silent about it. Power made Todd think after he married her that he could control her. Power made Tonya think she could keep Michelle off the phone and that she could make her
find religion.
She grabbed the used tissues off her desk. Not today, not anymore—she was not the one. It was time to get rid of the clutter in her life. She was going to get stuff out of her life that was confusing her and causing her pain—and she was going to start right here and right now.
This was where the throw-down was going to go down. Michelle threw the tissue into the trash, then popped and stretched her neck. She got up from behind her desk. She’d started with the tissue and right now she was going to move on to Miss Tonya. Her can was going to be next for the can.
Michelle began to laugh to herself as she walked toward Tonya’s desk, shaking tension out of her muscles so she would be ready to pounce on Tonya like a cat on a mouse. This was it. Whatever happened, it was going to be worth it. Sometimes a sister just had to take a stand. As Michelle walked, she looked back at the floral arrangement on her desk. They were going to be planting those flowers on girlfriend’s grave. Job or no job—Tonya was not going to make her lose her mind up in here. As she walked toward Tonya’s desk, Michelle felt as though she was walking in slow motion, wading through water in cement boots.
Time was winding up for the busybody, the Jesus lover, Miss Holier-than-thou!
M
ichelle sat at a table in the cafeteria-style restaurant on the lower floor of the building. Shadrach sat across from her, shaking his head.
“I swear, a man will never be able to understand the mind of a woman. I don’t understand how two women going through the same thing—two women who have so much in common—refuse to help each other and end up fighting instead. I don’t understand it.” Shad used his fork to pick at the boneless spareribs on his plate. “I just don’t get it.”
Michelle almost gagged on a French fry. “Shad, what are you
talking
about? Me and Tonya are as different as night and day.
Look
at her.” Michelle picked up another fry and gestured in the air. “You know I’m not like her, with her dried up, boring, dull self. And she so caught up in this job—and Mrs. Judson, like Mrs. Judson is the be-all, end-all. Me and Tonya alike? I don’t know where you get that from, Shad. I really don’t.”
Shadrach scooted his chair back from the table and crossed his legs, as though he was preparing to sit for a while. “You go right ahead, baby girl. I don’t want to interrupt you while you’re on a roll.” He lay down his fork and pushed his plate forward. “You got it. You got it all figured out. Go for it. Let it flow.”
“Look, Shad, I am just tired of taking stuff off of her. What for? For a job? Other people can take that stuff if they want to, but I’m not the one.”
Shadrach whistled. He leaned forward and stared Michelle in the eye. “Girl, you gonna lose your job. And I don’t know whether you know it or not, but the rent man don’t take
pride
for payment, and you can’t deposit
I know I’m right
in the bank.”
“Shad. Come on, give me a break.” Michelle would not let the tears that popped into her eyes—tears that surprised her—fall. “Shad, this is not the time to be difficult. I could get fired here.”
Shadrach scooted his chair forward and lowered his voice. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to get across to you. That’s what I’m talking about. What did you think was going to happen?”
“I didn’t think. I just saw red. I’m sick of her, Shad, with all the stupid books, cards . . . and the Bible. This is a job, and she’s my team leader, not my momma or my supervisor. I’m sick of her telling me what to do and when to do it. I’m sick of her signifying, looking down her nose at me and trying to throw off on me with all her religious stuff.”
Shadrach’s expression softened. “Do you think that’s really what Tonya’s trying to do?”
“What else? She doesn’t know me. Why would she do something for me—just out of the goodness of her heart? Tonya makes me sick. She thinks she’s so holy.”
“Maybe Tonya is trying to do what she thinks will help.”
Michelle tapped the perfectly manicured, acrylic-tipped nail of one index finger on the table. “I don’t need her help, or anybody else’s for that matter.”
“That may be. You may be the one person alive who doesn’t need anybody. May be, but I doubt it. But, seriously, Tonya might be trying to be a friend to you in the only way she knows how.”
“Why? What for? Look, this is just a
job.
I didn’t come here looking for friends, or for a new momma—I already had one and that was enough.”
“That may be, too, but life is funny like that. We’re always finding things where we least expect them. Maybe she’s just trying to be good—”
“I don’t
need
anybody to be good to me! When people are good to you, it always has a price. I’ve already given; I’m not paying anymore!”
Shadrach closed one eye and cocked his head. “Whew! Where did that come from?” He looked straight at Michelle. “What I was about to say is that I think she is trying to be good people. You know what I mean?”
Michelle frowned.
Shad continued talking. “You know how it is. Most people go through life and they don’t give a good kitty for other people. You on your own—it’s every man for himself. They may not try to hurt you, but they sure as living are not going to go out of their way to help you. I think Tonya tries to be good people. Maybe she’s trying too hard, but I think her heart is in the right place.”
Michelle narrowed her eyes. “What do you know about Tonya’s heart?”
Shadrach placed one of his ankles on the opposite knee. “I keep my eyes open.” He shrugged. “I’ve just seen and heard of her doing things for people. You know, I’m old school. I watch a long time, taking notes and names. I’m pretty sure that Tonya is not doing stuff for show—I’ve heard of her giving people a little change or car rides, showing up at people’s family member’s funerals. Just stuff like that. It’s not a big deal, but these are folks that can’t do nothing for her. I’ve never heard of her running back and telling what she’s done. If the other people don’t tell it, the story never gets told.” He shrugged. “That says something to me.”
Michelle pursed her lips. “Well, if you’re so impressed, why aren’t you eating lunch with
her?
”
“Because I asked you, that’s why.”
Michelle rolled her eyes. “Mm-hmm.” She wasn’t so sure she believed him.
“I just think she’s good people.”
Michelle picked up another fry. “You keep saying that, but she’s dull and dried up.” She dipped the fry in a little pool of ketchup. “No spice and no flavor.”
Shadrach uncrossed his legs. “Well, I just think Tonya’s all right. You’re right, though. She could use a little help with the wardrobe—a little something to make her look like there is still some life in her. I’ll grant you that. But it seems like to me that what’s not working on the outside don’t cancel out the inside. That’s something funny to me about women, anyway.” Shadrach looked puzzled. “Its hard to find a woman with both things working together. So many sisters look good on the outside, but they’re full of junk on the inside. Or else, they’re good on the inside and tore down on the outside.”
He dusted invisible lint off of his pants. “I just haven’t been able, in my lifetime, to decide which is better.” Shadrach smiled. “Maybe that’s why I’m not married.”
Michelle waved a French fry at him and laughed. “Shad, you’re full of it.”
“For real. I keep thinking, if a brother could get you two together—that would be something for the mind, the body, and the soul!”
Michelle trailed the fry back and forth through the ketchup. She wet her lips and winked. “Yeah, right, Shad. Whatever.”
“Really, Michelle, maybe Tonya is just trying to be nice to you.”
“I’ve been trying not to say this, but the truth is the truth. What the problem really is is that Tonya is jealous. You just admitted yourself that she is tired and dried up looking.” Michelle wiped her hands on her napkin. “I try to keep myself up.” She straightened her jacket and touched her hair. “And she sure doesn’t have a life outside of this job. You know how it is—she hears me on the phone, or some man asks me out to lunch.” Michelle winked at Shadrach again. “It makes her mad and she tries to make my life as miserable as hers. You know how people are. There is nothing I can do about how she feels, but I’m sure not going to let her ruin my life because she has issues.”
“You think that’s what it is, huh?”
“I know it is.”
Shadrach cracked his knuckles. “So, exactly what did happen?”
“Shad, you would not believe this, but it was just like a dream I had. In the dream, I was fed up with her and I went after her—chasing her and stuff. Only Tonya didn’t run in real life, like she ran in my dream. I was surprised. I tore into her. I called her everything I could think of. I told Miss Lady all about herself. I was all up in her face. Tonya wouldn’t fight back . . . but she didn’t run.”
Shadrach cleared his throat and straightened his sleeves. “Look, Michelle, you and Tonya are gonna have to talk and work this thing out.
Together.
Because what I hear and know about Mrs. Judson is that she can and
will
fire you, Tonya, or both of you all. She doesn’t play that ‘being emotional’ stuff at work. I guess since she is the boss, she got her stuff all together—so she doesn’t want anybody else’s issues infecting her office. You are going to have to get it together, Michelle.”
She pouted. “So I guess you’re saying that everything that happened was my fault. Tonya was all goodness and light, and I’m just too hotheaded to work in an office.”
“What I’m saying, Michelle, is that you two—you and Tonya—need to have lunch, or something, and figure out how to get this together before both of you all end up going down.” He smiled. “I’m even willing to sacrifice myself and referee.”
“Shad, you’re not fooling anybody. You’re just looking to see a cat fight.”
Shad put on an innocent expression and opened his palms wide. “Baby, I’m being for real. But you can’t blame a brother, can you?” His expression changed. “Really, though, I just want to help. Maybe if you all get together . . . You could eat lunch like this and talk—you know, try to talk things over.”
Michelle smirked. “You’ve got to be kidding. Me and Tonya at lunch . . . out in public? I’m too real for her. We can’t even get it together in an office full of people where we’re under the gun to follow the rules.”
“I told you I would meet with the two of you.”
“Like a referee.”
Shad leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Yeah, like a referee, or like a coach.”
“So who is going to invite her?”
Shad laughed out loud. “You!” He stretched the word out for a few measures.
“Me? It was your big idea. How am I supposed to— What is going to make her say
yes
?”
Shad folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I’m willing to meet you here. You’re going to have to figure out the
how
all by yourself.”
I
think I need a vacation!” Michelle needed a break from everything. She needed to go to a land where people looked out for one another, where they had the other person’s best interest at heart. When Miz Ida answered the door, Michelle held out the flowers—the ones she had gotten from Tonya—to her. There was no point in letting them go to waste.