Authors: Alexandrea Weis
Flabbergasted,
Tyler backed away from her, shaking his head. “My happiness? You married a man you hate for me, is that it? You wrote off your son so I could achieve what? Glory, riches—”
“Success
,” she hollered. “So you could be successful and not make me look like the failure of a mother I always felt I was. So what if I married a man I never loved? He treats me well, keeps a roof over my head, and has given me everything I ever wanted. I could live with that as long as I knew you were set for life.”
“I can’t believe this.” He pressed his hands against
his head. “All this time I have been killing myself for you. I gave up my happiness so you could be proud of me. I’ve been trying to make it up to you for years because of Peter; only to find out you never gave a damn about him. How could you be so cold? I thought you were trying to protect yourself by saying Peter was dead, but I think you are actually thankful that he is dead.”
She glowered at him, accentuating the lines a
round her small mouth. “You ungrateful bastard.”
“That’s right, I’m ungrateful.” He went back to his desk. “You’d better leave before you tell me how you really feel.”
“What is that supposed to mean? How I really feel?”
He stood behind his desk, placed his hands on the back of his chair
, and gaped at her. “None of this was ever about me. It was about you. It’s always been about you. If you wanted me to be happy, you would never have pushed me into this life, and away from….” He motioned to the open office doors. “Get out before I say something I’m going to regret.”
She slapped her hand on his desk. “Don’t you dare stand there and judge me. I did everything to make sure you ended up here.”
“Yes, you did. I’m exactly where you wanted me to be, but am I where I want to be?” He turned away to the window. “Get out, Mother.”
He listened as her
heels thudded across his office to the open doors. After silence once again filled the room, Tyler closed his eyes against the grief in his heart.
“All these years, I thought
…Jesus, Peter.”
When he faced his desk, the clutter of paperwork suddenly sickened him. His office appeared different, as if it were not his anymore.
The walls were closing in around him, and he felt as if he were a caged animal, frightened and confused. He had to get away.
Leaving the folders on his desk, he
wrestled his jacket from a nearby chair and headed for the central elevators.
As the elevator car
descended to the lobby, Tyler replayed the conversation with his mother and then sorted through all the life choices he had made because of the vain and self-centered demands of Barbara.
He knocked his head back against the elevator wall behind him. “What an idiot I have been.”
Suddenly faced with a symphony of “what ifs,” Tyler was besieged by his emotions. Suppressed feelings for his brother, his mother, and for Monique all came bubbling to the surface. Grabbing for the silver railing that encircled the walls of the elevator, Tyler took in several deep breaths, but it did little good.
Runn
ing from the elevator car when it hit the lobby floor, he bounded out of the building and to his car in the VIP lot. Once on the expressway heading to his home in North Dallas, he considered all the things he would have done differently in his life had he known about Peter. No matter where his thoughts strayed, all his second-guessing eventually led him back to Monique. So many things might have been different for them.
Tightly gripping
his burl walnut and leather steering wheel, he cursed his mother. Then, the burning started again in his gut…the same sensation he always felt when his emotions were getting the better of him. Hitting the accelerator, he skirted along the outer lane of the expressway, eager for home.
Chapter 2
5
Tyler slammed the door to his four-car garage and then stood at the entrance to his gourmet kitchen, listening to the hum of the amber-colored appliances and the rapid beating of his heart. His hands were shaking as he threw his car keys on the cream and amber granite countertop. Gazing around the wide kitchen Hadley had insisted on redoing when she moved in, he went to the custom made white oak kitchen cabinet and pulled out an iced tea glass. After reaching for the carton of orange juice from the built-in refrigerator, with shelves wide enough for party platters— another of Hadley’s requirements—he poured the cold juice into the tall glass. Smashing the carton down on the countertop, he struggled with that burgeoning desire to add something more substantial to his drink. But he had long ago emptied the house of any alcohol, refusing to have such a temptation under his roof. Even when Hadley and Tessa had lived with him, he had insisted there be no alcohol kept in his home. Tyler remembered how pissed Hadley had been not being able to have ready access to her favorite scotch, but she had abided by his wishes.
“That bitch never wanted to make me happy
.” He snatched up his glass.
But you know who did want to make you happy, don’t you, Tyler?
And you pushed her away.
Memories of Monique made
his need for a shot of something more satisfying all the more acute. Squeezing his hand around the glass, he waited until the insistence of his insides diminished. After releasing a long, disappointing sigh, he put his drink on the countertop and let his shoulders fall forward.
Unlike the other women in his life, Monique
had never asked anything of him, except to be sober. Encouraging him to shoot for the moon, she had never tempered his desires, never wanted him to be something he was not, and had never kept secrets from him. His mother, on the other hand, had kept his brother’s life from him to further her ambitions. His exes had been with him either for monetary or social achievement, but were never interested in his hopes or concerns. Of all the women he had known, the only one he felt who had truly cared for him had been Monique. Or so he thought.
For months he had been reliving th
at gut-wrenching confrontation with her and Chris, trying to make sense of the entire affair, but with little success. He knew he should put her behind him, but he was having a hard time letting her go. And that, more than Monique’s betrayal, bothered him. Where was the cold man he used to be? For the first time since running into her at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, he missed his old self, and his former wicked ways.
As he stood there, contemplating the indelible facets of his
soul, he wondered if he could have ever had a life with Monique. She had gotten close to him, but could she have torn down the walls he had set up around his heart ever since his brother had left? Ah, but that was the true crux of his problem. No one had ever meant more to him than Peter, and since he had walked away Tyler had never let anyone wield that kind of control over him again. But now he knew the truth about his brother, and his perspective had changed.
Tyler had always blamed his mother for his brother’s hasty departure, but he
suddenly realized that Peter had left because he had been selfish. Instead of sharing the burdens of their unhappy home life, Peter had deserted him, and never once given any regard to his little brother’s feelings. Why had he not seen that before?
Tyler pushed away from the counter, heading to the white door that led to the den. Walking through the dark-paneled room with its massive stone hearth, thick-beamed ceiling, and Texas themed décor, he made his way down a hall that lead to the master bedroom suit
e.
Tossing his jacket on the rustic
king-sized bed with the thick wooden beamed canopy that Hadley had designed, Tyler went to the bathroom and flipped on the doublewide, Mexican-tiled, walk-in shower he had insisted on when Hadley renovated the bathroom.
Quickly stripping down, he stepped beneath the multiple jets that sprayed into the center of the shower
and let the hot water soothe the tension in his back and shoulders. While stretching out his aching muscles, Tyler decided he was tired of feeling like crap. He was fed up with the constant knot in his chest, the continuous acidic aftertaste in his mouth, and feeling as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. For so long he had been bearing the burdens of living up to everyone else’s expectations, that he had forgotten his wants and desires. He needed a change; something to help put his brother, mother, and Monique behind him. Considering his options for a new start, Tyler became enthused with the prospect of living as he had always wanted. Never before had he entertained the concept of chasing dreams and not women. He had spent enough years putting his plans aside…now it was time to shake the dust free of his aspirations and start pursuing them.
“
The first thing I am going to do is take over Propel,” he declared, bolstering his confidence as the water beat down on him. “It’s time to make that company mine.”
As he turned off the water,
a smattering of energy returned to his body. Perhaps a new direction for his company was exactly what he needed to put his life in order. If he could no longer drive the regrets of his past from his heart with alcohol, then he could surely do it with lots of hard work.
***
The next morning, Tyler was at his office before his devoted secretary, Lynn. Determined to implement changes he had always envisioned for the company, but had been apprehensive to start because of Gary’s objections, Tyler was sitting at his desk working on a new business plan for his alternative energy division when Lynn walked into his office.
“
I can’t believe you’re in before me.” She stopped before his desk and placed her hands on her round hips. “Is something wrong?”
He spied her sleek gray pantsuit and light yellow top. “Nothing is wrong. I just decided I’m going to start that
alternative energy division I’ve been talking about.”
“But I thought
Mr. Leesburg was dead set against it.”
Tyler bristled at the mention of his stepfather.
“Yeah, well, I run Propel now, and if Gary doesn’t like it, he can give up his retirement and come back.”
Lynn
gave a curt nod of her head. “‘Bout time.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Mr. Moore, you’ve been here for ten years and never once have you made this business yours. In my opinion, a company should be a reflection of the person who runs it. But Propel has always been Gary Leesburg’s and never completely yours.”
Tyler bobbed his head in understanding. “Well, that’s about to change.”
“Anything I can do to help?” she offered, sounding enthused.
He sat back in his
leather chair. “Just be ready for a fight. If Gary goes against me on this, we may have to do some fast talking to the board to keep our jobs.”
Lynn took a step closer to his desk. “I’m ready. Are you?”
“If I can’t run this company the way I want, then I won’t run it at all.” Looking over his carved Napoleon desk, he added, “I’m through with letting other people run my life.”
Lynn
raised her dark eyebrows. “Are we still talking about Gary Leesburg, or is there someone else you are referring to?”
“
I have no idea what you are talking about.” He handed her some papers. “I need these typed up.”
Lynn
took the papers from him. “I’m not a fool, Mr. Moore. I know you haven’t stopped thinking about her. I’m just wondering is this change for her or for you?”
He
waved off her question. “She is in the past. I am moving on with my life.”
“
Moving on?” Lynn snickered. “I don’t see it that way.” She turned for his office doors.
Her comment ate at him.
“And how do you see it, Lynn?” he finally asked.
She stopped at the door
s. “I’ve never known you to give up on what you want. And despite what you portray, you still want her.”
He
pictured Monique and Chris together on her porch. “She doesn’t want me. She made that very clear.”
“Did she?”
Then Lynn quietly closed his office doors.
***
By the end of the day, Tyler had spent hours on the phone with the accounting and legal departments, lining up contracts and setting up accounts for his new alternative energy division. It was well after six, and he was still at his desk seeing to the other paperwork that he had not gotten to earlier that day. He was taking a break and admiring the night cloaking the skyline of Dallas when his cell phone on his desk began ringing. Tyler smirked when he saw his stepfather’s name flashing over the phone display.
“Gary
,” he said, taking the call. “What can I do for you?”
“What’s this horseshit I hear about you forming a
n alternative energy division in my company?”
Tyler was
not surprised that his stepfather had heard the news so quickly. It only confirmed his suspicions that many in his organization were still loyal to Gary.
“I’m branching out. With all the federal money that will be pouring into—”
“We do oil and gas, Tyler. Nothing more,” Gary loudly interposed. “You’re going to break our backs stuffing money into a market that will never fly.”