Authors: Barbara Elsborg
Jasper settled deeper in the water. “What a great place to camp out—alfresco bathtub, stunning view, amazing company.”
“Thanks.” Calum tousled Jasper’s hair.
“I meant me.”
Calum snorted.
“Christ, this is too hot.” Jasper hoisted himself out of the water onto a flat rock. He lay back and sighed as a warm breeze caressed his body. “A towel to lie on and this would be almost perfect.”
Calum joined him on the rock, lying at a right angle with his head pressed against Jasper’s ribs. “What else do you need?”
“An ice-cold beer.”
“Yeah, that would be good.”
Jasper took a deep breath. “Ben would have loved this. He talked about running away to be a cowboy when he was a kid. He had this old gun that fired caps and took it everywhere with him. His favorite game was shooting me. I perfected dying in many different ways. I thought about that a lot after his accident.”
“You were close to Ben.”
“I think that’s why his asking me to pull the plug hurt so much. He kept saying if I really loved him, I should have been able to do it. And I thought, if he really loved me, he would never have asked.”
Calum slipped his hand onto Jasper’s leg and wrapped his fingers around his shin.
“The thing is,” Jasper said, “What you think you can do and what you can actually do are two different things. Easy to
think
you could go through with it until the moment comes that you have to do it. I kept stringing Ben along, telling him I would, that I was waiting for the results of some test, or details of a new technology that could improve his life, or that I needed more time because I had to make sure no one knew what I’d done or I’d get arrested. Always some excuse and he knew I was too chicken-shit scared to do it. He never said it but I saw it in his eyes.”
And Jasper hadn’t wanted to look at Ben anymore because when he did, guilt swamped him.
“I don’t think you were scared,” Calum whispered. “If you’d really wanted to do it, the idea of the police getting involved wouldn’t have stopped you.”
Jasper exhaled. “Christ, am I that obvious?”
“He was your brother. Broken body, but he was still your brother.”
“But I wanted him dead.” Jasper laid his arm over his eyes. “Every night I prayed to a God I’d long since given up on that when I woke in the morning, Ben would be dead. And then I’d wake and walk along the corridor and hear the noise of the fucking machine that kept him alive, and it was like a knife in my heart reminding me of what I hadn’t done.”
“He was cared for in your home?”
“Once he was stable and the hospital said they could do nothing more. The house was adapted to cope with him. A room prepared downstairs. Another for his caregiver. Places to put all his stuff—the wheelchair, the hoists, the bath. Our home was converted into a hospital and I fucking hated him for it.”
Jasper shuddered. He’d never told anyone that before.
“Sometimes I hate Angie,” Calum whispered. “She’s sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but she sucks up attention. From the moment my father told me he was marrying Vera, it was made clear Angie was my responsibility too. Times when I wanted to do things on my own, I had to take her with me or not do them. You lose your friends pretty quick when you have a girl tagging along, particularly one like Angie. Not that I had many friends.”
Jasper pushed himself up and trailed his fingers through Calum’s wet hair. “You think they love her more than you?”
“I
know
they do. Vera’s her mom. I can understand it from her, but my dad…” Calum gave a short laugh. “I can’t do a fucking thing right. He hates that I’m gay so he pretends I’m not. He gave Pete the job of foreman when he should have asked me. He made me get m—ah, fuck it.” Calum sat up and looked at Jasper. “I’ve said more to you than I’ve ever said to anyone.”
“I’m a good listener.”
Calum ran a finger along Jasper’s cheekbone. “Maybe it’s because you live on the other side of the world.”
Maybe it’s because we have something here.
“You’re mine for a week,” Calum said.
Jasper’s heart clenched. “I don’t want to make life difficult for you. We should be careful. You have to live here after I’ve gone.”
“I wish…” Calum sighed.
Jasper wished that too.
Back where they’d left their clothes, Jasper wrapped his arms around Calum and wrestled him to the ground. He didn’t want this time together to end.
“Let me check my phone,” Calum said and Jasper rolled off him.
What the fuck?
One minute Calum couldn’t keep his hands off him and now he needed to see whether he’d missed any calls?
Why?
Jasper’s cock was hard, Calum’s wasn’t.
He doesn’t want to be fucked.
Jasper didn’t
know
that was what was wrong but he felt it. He grabbed his shorts and pulled them on as Calum retrieved his cell.
“Seven missed calls. Seven messages.”
“Can I guess who from?” Jasper asked.
“No prizes.”
Calum had offered a coin toss and Jasper refused because he’d had a gut feeling Calum wanted to go first, but maybe the gut feeling should have told him a little more. Maybe Calum didn’t bottom.
Fuck. I’d like a look at that coin.
Jasper tugged on his chinos and zipped up. It wasn’t the end of the world. Jasper liked one as much as the other. He was disappointed Calum didn’t want—ah fuck, more than disappointed, but he’d get over it. Maybe. Jasper finished dressing and tugged on his hat. Calum had the phone on speaker, lying on the grass, and the angry voice of Erik rang out as he dressed.
“Where the fuck are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone? Angie’s gone missing. Call me.”
Jasper’s heart sank.
“Calum, get back here now.”
Calum stared at his phone as if it were a snake.
“This is fucking urgent. Answer your phone.”
The messages grew increasingly frantic. Jasper buried the condom under a tree as Calum paced with his phone off speaker.
“It’s me. I must have been out of range. I didn’t—no… I didn’t… That’s not fair… I don’t care what… I had the phone with me… Jackson’s Gully… Okay, I’ll check on the way back.”
Jasper registered that Calum had deliberately stopped him hearing what his father said and wondered why. Calum shoved the phone back in his pocket and untied the horses. Jasper climbed on Star.
“What’s happened?” Jasper asked.
“Angie took Misty out while everyone was at lunch. They can’t find her. And of course it’s my fault because I was supposed to take her riding, not theirs because they didn’t keep an eye on her.”
Star followed Blue through the stand of trees.
“Any idea where she’d go?” Jasper called.
“They’ve checked all the obvious places.”
“Does she have a phone?”
Calum looked over his shoulder. “Yeah, but she’s not answering or we’d know where she was.”
Jasper ignored the sarcasm. “Maybe she’s not responding because she knows she’ll get shouted at. Why don’t
you
call her?”
Calum faced forward and pulled out his phone.
“Christ, Angie, what the… Where are you?… Call Dad.” He sighed. “All right, I’ll do it… Yes and I’ll come. Stay put.” Calum turned to Jasper again. “She’s at Cookie Bend—it’s on our way back.”
“Better tell your father.”
“Yeah.” Calum grimaced. “Hi, Dad. I called her and she answered. She’s fine… No, she wants me to get her… She asked me not to tell you where she was… That’s not my fucking fault… Maybe an hour… Okay.”
Calum turned in his saddle to face Jasper. “Maybe I have the chance to redeem myself here. I just don’t need Angie thinking she can make a friend of a rattler.”
Once they reached open ground, Calum kicked Blue into a canter and Jasper followed.
Calum sighed when they caught sight of Angie sitting on a rock. “Thank fuck,” he mumbled.
As far as Jasper could tell, she looked fine. Calum slid off Blue when they reached his sister and she ran to Calum, a smile on her face and flung herself into his arms. Jasper stayed mounted and watched.
“Are you okay?” Calum smoothed down her hair.
“Yes.”
“You do know you’re going to be in trouble when we get back? What did I tell you about going off on your own?”
She pulled away and pouted. “You promised to take me riding.” Then she glared at Jasper.
Uh-oh. My fault.
“Let’s go home,” Calum said.
“I can’t ride Misty. She’s thrown a shoe.”
“What? Again?”
“Same one.”
Jasper slipped from Star’s back and walked over to the gray mare. She stood still as he ran his hand down her neck.
“What have you been up to?” Jasper murmured. He could see a shoe missing from a front hoof, but something about the way she stood worried him.
“I’ve got a boot in my saddlebag,” Calum said. “Does the hoof look damaged?”
“No.” Jasper put three fingers on the inside of the widest point of the horse’s fetlock, located the large vein and pressed it flat to find the artery.
“What are you doing?” Calum called.
“Just checking something.” Jasper pressed hardest with the finger farthest from the heart, slightly less with the middle finger and even less with the last. In that way he amplified the pulse, and then felt what he’d hoped not to.
Calum turned to his sister. “See if you can find the shoe, Angie. We don’t want nails sticking up for an animal to tread on.” Once she’d walked away, Calum headed for Jasper carrying a hoof pick, a set of shoe pullers and a boot. “What is it?” he asked quietly.
“Throbbing pulse.” Jasper checked the other leg. “Look how she’s standing. It’s hardly noticeable, but I think her back legs are slightly forward to take the weight off her front.”
“Oh fuck. Laminitis?”
Jasper nodded. “You need to call the vet.”
Angie came running up. “Found it.” Her mouth turned down when she saw Calum’s face. “What’s the matter?”
“Misty might not be very well. I’m going to call the vet and ask him to come take a look. We need to walk back. You lead Blue, I’ll lead Misty, okay? Head toward that pointed rock. Blue’ll want to go first.”
While Calum spoke to the vet, Jasper distracted Angie. “Sorry I wasn’t there for dinner last night. I was really tired. There’s a seven-hour time difference between here and where I live. That means when it’s five o’clock in the afternoon in Jackson Hole, it’s midnight in London.”
“How can it be midnight when the sun’s shining?”
“Well, it’s…” Jasper gave up. “Did you make my sandwich?”
“All by myself.”
“What did you put in it?”
She glared. “You ate it, didn’t you? So you know.”
So he did.
“Daddy was cross,” Angie muttered. “He said you must have gone out with Calum and Calum was supposed to take me riding. You said you were my friend.” Her lip wobbled.
Oh God.
“Can’t I be friends with both of you?”
“What’s wrong with Misty?”
Jasper would take that as a no, then. Well, he’d won over Bessie, he’d just have try harder with Angie, though he wouldn’t be rubbing her belly. He glanced back at Calum, but he was still on the phone.
“I suspect she has something the matter with her hooves. Sometimes when a horse keeps throwing a shoe from the same foot, it’s a sign it needs to be looked at.”
“She seems okay. I think you’re wrong,” Angie said.
“What do you feed her?”
“She has what the others have.”
“Do you give her treats?” Jasper asked.
“Sometimes.” Angie’s head dropped.
“What sort of treats?”
“Apples and carrots.”
“I bet she loves those,” Jasper said.
Angie looked up again. “Sometimes I give her the special grain she likes and after Gunner cuts the lawn at the front of the ranch, I collect a bucket of grass for her.”
“Grass?” Calum asked as he came up alongside.
“That’s all I give her,” Angie said. “Only after Gunner’s cut the lawn.”
Christ.
Over-consumption of carbohydrate-rich lawn grass clippings was the most common cause of laminitis. Jasper hated to see horses suffering from it.
“It’s not good for her, sweetheart,” Calum said. “Don’t give her any more.”
“But everyone has to have treats.” Angie’s lip wobbled. “Grass is nice. Horses like grass.”
“You can’t feed lawn grass to—”
Jasper cut off Calum’s snap. “You know you’re not supposed to eat too many sweets?”
“Candy,” Calum corrected.
“It’s bad for my teeth,” Angie said.
“That’s right and too much grass and the wrong grain is bad for a horse’s hooves,” Jasper said. “But it might not be that. The vet needs to look at Misty and do some tests.”
Angie gulped. “Is she going to be okay?”