Cowgirl Up (18 page)

Hastily, he stripped down, then
turned to retrieve the condom stored in his wallet.

A loud gasp, born of fear,
carried to him.

Spinning back around, he saw the
disgust written boldly on her features, where longing existed seconds earlier.
She stared mutely at him, her eyes wide as if she’d seen a ghost. Dark eyes
stood out against her pale skin.

“Deidre?”

She covered her mouth with
trembling hand, shook her head, and started yanking on previously discarded
clothing like a fire threatened to overtake them in a matter of seconds.

His heart thudded against his
ribs as his gut clenched. “Deidre, let me explain.”

She yanked the dress over her
head, slipped her feet in the high heels without bothering with her hose,
averting her gaze all the while.

She couldn’t even look at him
now. After seeing his back, thighs, and stomach.

“I’m sorry. I…just…I’ve got to
go. Forgot something important.” As soon as she stuttered that piss poor
excuse, she grabbed her purse, and fled.

Anger mixed with emotional agony
sliced through his heart.

He
shuddered at the memory so vivid, they were able to inject deep cuts that still
bled.

Before,
he never appreciated how lucky he’d been. Now, just when he needed
companionship and love the most, his own body betrayed him.

Deidre,
a lady he truly cared for nearly puked at the sight of his war scars. If she
couldn’t handle them what other woman could?

Loneliness
followed him like a persistent rain cloud until he wanted to scream at the
injustice. Just when he decided to give dating another try, thinking perhaps he
stumbled across a woman who might be able to deal with his disfigurations, the
evil hand of fate struck again. This time in the form of a two-timing Trinity.

Shit.

He ran
one hand through his short hair and fought to control the strong urge to either
smash something, pick a fight, or drink down a few shots of whiskey. Anything
to exorcise the bottled-up hurt and rage at the fairer sex for all their
fucking deceit, inadequacies, and selfish ways.

Why do I want a woman again?
Because I’m a stupid masochist, that’s why.

The
clock chimed.

Peeking
up, he noted the hour and growled. Seven p.m. Time for the rodeo to start for
the night.

No time
to work this latest round of rage out of his system since his boss expected him
in the arena for the duration of the night. Though he wasn’t the only vet hired
for the circuit, all of them were expected to hang around the competition.
After all, that’s when the majority of injuries to the animals occurred.

With a
vile curse, he stood, marched out, and slammed the door behind him.

The
short distance to the huge arena did nothing for his temper except allow the
churning cauldron inside to slosh and bubble all the more. By the time he
arrived, he blanked his face with an iron will learned during hard lessons as a
SEAL. He could bury any and all emotions in a flash and worked to do so now.
Just the same, he’d avoid anyone and everyone unless one of the livestock
needed his attention.

Finding
an isolated spot by the chutes, he leaned against the bars and half-heartedly
watched the ceremonies while wishing himself elsewhere.

Suck it up, SEAL.

He
still stood there when the barrel-racing event started. Automatically, he
watched for Trinity to appear in the wings, biding her time to run. Despite
what he witnessed earlier, he couldn’t help finding her with his gaze and
locking on the pretty girl astride the big gray stallion.

She
soared through the course. He watched with reluctant admiration as she
gracefully guided Legacy through the intricate pattern at full speed.

Halfway
through, her foot slipped out of a stirrup. He stood up straight, held his
breath, and stared as she continued on. Other riders might have teetered and
fallen off without the support of both stirrups. Trinity ignored the hassle,
went about her task, and flew by him with thundering hoof beats.

Though
impressed with her obvious horsemanship skill, he couldn’t forget the knife she
stabbed into his back earlier.

Why did
she do it? And why did he bother to care?

Trinity
jogged Legacy around in a circle, allowing him to stretch and cool down after
the mad dash. “Great job, boy. Sorry I let you down on my end.” Whether the
loss of her stirrup cost her any time or even the race, she didn’t know yet.
Wouldn’t until the last rider finished and they posted results. Until then, she
would hang around in case they called her for a victory lap.

The
arena lights caught her attention. Silhouetted against the end chutes, she
spied Cody. If she hadn’t looked back at the right time, she would have missed
him entirely as he blended so well into the natural shadows. A warrior still to
this day.
Once a SEAL, always a SEAL.

She
recalled his words with a small grin.

He
looked the part now, standing by himself in muted light as if waiting for
orders to pounce. His position allowed him a decent view of the action while
placing him out of the way for the barrel racers who came and went at rapid
intervals. Smart and a definite throwback to his military days. The fact both
humored her and humbled her while notching another dent into the shield around
her heart.

He’d
watched her run. Pride and happiness washed over her as she aimed Legacy in his
direction, not stopping until they reached his side.

“Hi.”

Cody
didn’t bother to even look up. Instead, he focused on the arena as if the Roman
Gladiators themselves fought to the death inside.

Confused,
she tried once more. “Cody?”

He
spared her the briefest glance, rife with anger judging by the sharpness of his
gaze.

Taken
aback, she could only blink at the one-hundred and eighty degree turn around
from their last visit. “What’s wrong?”

“Who
said there was anything wrong?” He didn’t budge from his position leaning
against the chutes, but his steely voice could have cut through frozen tundra.

She
shivered in reaction. Legacy pawed at the ground impatiently. She kept a steady
hand and wracked her brain for something to say to the sour tempered man before
her.

“You’ve
never been surly to me before. I just wondered.” She bit her lip.

His
intense blue eyes met hers. She read leashed anger in the thinning of his lips,
the clenching of his jaw. “Is there anything I can do?”

He
snorted. “Yeah. Go find some other dumb prick to screw. Sloppy seconds aren’t
my style.” After one more glare, he stepped forward, ducked through the corral
bars, and strode through the milling cattle.

Shocked
at his vulgarity and accusation, she gasped, narrowed her eyes on his
retreating back, then pointed Legacy toward the exit and back into the evening
air. Her mind replayed the conversation over and over, yet she remained
clueless as ever. Cody’s reaction contrasted brightly with every other time
they ran into one another. Never had he been upset or so downright rude.

Old
hurts reared their ugly head with a vengeance. The cruel gossip, the not so
subtle hints from men who saw her as a sex-crazed whore, free for the taking.
She’d heard it all and, no matter her age, the taunts never failed to hit home
and reopen wounds.

Whatever
set off Cody, she might not have a clue, but she could make a couple of good
guesses. Someone had blabbed outright lies and she brought up the losing end in
Cody’s eyes.

If he
already sentenced her as guilty in his mind, what chance did she have of making
him see the truth? None.

Her
heart sank in sadness, then her pride kicked in, fueled by latent anger.

What
did it matter anyway? This was the last rodeo of the season. Besides, she had
more to worry about than Cody’s atypical outburst. Her dream loomed just ahead.
Then retirement.

In just
over a week, she would walk away from the sport forever and never see any of
the other competitors again. Including Cody.

With
that less than satisfying thought, she slid off Legacy and began to walk him in
large circles, trying mightily to stem her building fury, knowing the emotion
would travel through the reins and right to her stallion. He needed to be calm
in order to cool, not wound to the hilt and sweating profusely.

“Why do
I even bother, Legacy? Men are jerks. Besides, we’ve done just fine without
one, right?”

The
horse walked alongside her, his ears flicking back and forth as he listened to
her.

“After
all, the old adage is true. A horse is a girl’s best friend.” She patted
Legacy. “We’ll just get through these next few days, focus on our races, then
head back home.”

Home.

She
once again considered her initial plans to pack up and head to parts unknown.
Now, the more she thought about it, the weaker the inclination became. Her
winnings, while quite a tidy sum, wouldn’t last long, especially if she meant
to buy a house with some land. Taxes would come out first, leaving her a decent
amount, but only enough to live on for the next couple of years. Sure, she
would put Legacy up for stud, but what if few owners wanted to risk breeding
her hot and temperamental stallion to their mares? That source of income would
dry up like a puddle of water in the Sahara.

In all
reality, Heritage truly was the best place for Legacy. He enjoyed his
pampering, the best of care, and the ability to just be a horse along with a
few stallion friends to keep him company. He wouldn’t do well alone and not
just anyone could work with him. That fact shackled her immensely.

She
couldn’t afford Legacy’s room and board at the stud farm. No way. Thus, for him
to continue to live there, she needed to keep her stable-hand job.

Trinity
sighed. “It’s a great place, don’t get me wrong. I know how much you like it
there,” she rattled off as she continued to lead Legacy in slow circles.
Everyone accepted her, covered for her when she went off to rodeos, and
welcomed her home each time. While she worked demanding, long hours when there,
she truly never minded the hard labor.

A labor of love.
Carmen’s words popped into her
head.

Who
wouldn’t want to spend their days in such a glorious place, surrounded by some
of the most famous thoroughbreds of their time?

Her
ideas crumbled under the newfound information. Trinity shoved all thoughts of
her future aside for the moment.

She
didn’t need any more complications or distractions. This was her and her
mother’s dream and by damn she wouldn’t blow it because some man had a stick up
his butt about something.

With
determined steps, she finished cooling out Legacy and returned to the barn to
finish caring for her horse.

She had
a race to win tomorrow.

Trinity
sat in her chair and stared at her uneaten plate of food. Her appetite gone,
she didn’t even have the urge to nibble.

“Way to
hang on, Trin.” Lacey walked over, opened up her chair, and plopped down with a
can of soda in her hand. “Don’t know how you did it and still came in third. If
that were me, I’d be face down in a pile of horse shit.”

Trinity
shrugged and sipped her water. Her mind still whirled over Gary’s insistent
kiss and then Cody’s snide remarks. Obviously the men around there had lost
their collective minds and she found herself on the receiving end. A place she
found more than concerning.

“Are
you hungry? I have plenty.” Trinity offered her untouched food.

“No
thanks. I had a burger before feeding Candy.”

Silence
reigned. In the background, Trinity made out the sounds of cars leaving the
parking lot for the night, the announcer having gone quiet after the final
event.

She
glanced up to find Lacey staring at her with scrunched eyebrows and pressed
lips. “What’s wrong?”

Preferring
to keep what happened to herself, Trinity just shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.
I know you, Trinity. You get pensive now and again, but you’re always relaxed
and cheery. This distraction is new.”

Trinity
blew out a breath and considered confessing her troubles. As much as she might
need to unload the negative stuff, she hated to place that weight on Lacey’s
shoulders. She had enough to deal with. They both did. The national finals
itself contained enough stress and drama to last a decade and give even the
strongest person a major case of heartburn.

“Trinity…”

Deciding
Lacey wasn’t about to give in, Trinity opted for the quick, basic version.
“It’s been a lousy day is all.”

“The
stirrup?”

“Not
just that. This evening Gary cornered me in the barn, kissed me, and told me he
wasn’t ready to give up on me yet.”

“Holy
shit.” Lacey’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.
Then after my run, I ran into Cody. He smarted off about sloppy seconds and
curtly dismissed me. I have no idea what crawled up his butt and died, but he’s
never been so rude before.”

“Damn.”
Lacey pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Sounds like a day from
hell.”

Trinity
didn’t argue.

“What
did you do when Gary kissed you?”

She
recalled the moment of trepidation and her hands shook. “Bit the tongue he was
shoving into my mouth and kneed him hard enough to influence his sperm count
for a week.” She remembered how Gary only stepped back, didn’t cup himself, or
even bend over, which meant he had some protection over the area. Most likely
that hard barrier she rammed against in her bid for freedom.
Damn it anyway
. She would have enjoyed
seeing Gary writhing in pain. “Too bad he wore a cup.”

Lacey
tilted her head, her eyes clouding with worry. “What are you going to do?”

“I
guess Cody will go his own way. Not like we declared forever love or anything.”
The thought stung deep. All season, he’d grown on her, to the point where she
couldn’t wait for the next rodeo in order to see him again, share a meal, have
a laugh, and just hang out. Just when she thought they were to the point of
mutual dating, even taking the next step into intimacy, he turned ice cold and
threw out horrible insults. Maybe she’d misjudged his intentions all along.

Her
heart cracked all the more. She’d put all her eggs in Cody’s basket only for
them to fall out and break.

“No, I
meant about Gary.” Lacey took a drink of her soda.

Trinity
peered over at her friend. “I don’t know. He doesn’t want to take
no
for an answer. But, who do I complain
to? Who can rope him in? No one that I know of.” She sighed wearily. “If I can
just make it through the next few nights, I’ll be gone and this will just be a
memory.”

Lacey
pursed her lips. “You mean until next year.”

“No.”
Trinity shook her head and met Lacey’s gaze head on. “I mean for good. I’m
retiring after these finals.”

Lacey
blinked at Trinity in shock. “Why? You’re at the top of your game. Hell, Legacy
is just at his peak. He’s got a few more great years left in him before you
have to even start considering finding a replacement mount.”

“Because
I need something new. A new career. A new home. A new life.” Her face fell.
“All this was my mother’s dream. I’m fulfilling it.”

Her
heart went out to Trinity. She still struggled with the loss of her mother and
a complete change from what she’d experienced before. But, something didn’t
quite click. She stared at Trinity and
chose her words carefully. “I’ll buy that, but I see more. This is who you are.
What you love. Hell, you spend every minute you’re not in the john with your
horse. That kind of love can’t be denied.”

Trinity
glanced down at her plate.

“I know
you miss your mom, Trinity. Everyone that knew her does. Don’t be so quick to
turn your back on everything you love and those that care.” She smiled wryly
and patted Trinity’s arm to garner her attention once more. Once Trinity looked
up, she continued. “Life isn’t for the faint of heart, but neither is riding a
one ton stallion at full speed around barrels.” She tossed her empty soda can
into the trash bag lying nearby. “It’s in your blood and soul, Trin. Don’t give
up on what makes you, you.”

For a
long moment Trinity sat quiet before a soft smile appeared. “Pretty profound
for a young ‘un.”

Lacey
snorted. Like three years difference made her a baby right out of the cradle.
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Besides, Legacy is slowly growing on
Candy. You wouldn’t want to ruin such a sweet romance, would you?”

“We
couldn’t have that. A lovesick Legacy would be unbearable.” Trinity rolled her
eyes and chuckled.

Relieved
to see the return of spirit to her friend’s face, Lacey joined in the laugher.
“Exactly.” Then she sobered. “You going to be okay tonight? I’ll stay with you
if you want. I’m sure what happened would have rattled even the strongest
person.”

Trinity
released a sigh. “I have Legacy. That’s enough.”

Lacey
nodded, understanding Trinity would and could work through this latest
development on her own. Barrel racers couldn’t afford to dodge shadows in fear.
They had to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment. All sixteen plus
seconds worth. Standing, Lacey stroked Candy’s nose again. She never worried
about her horse while at events, not with Trinity staying with Legacy and able
to keep an eye out on the other animals at the same time. She’d considered
bunking down alongside Trinity more than once, but something told her Trinity
preferred the solace of being alone with her horse and her thoughts at night.
“Call me if you need anything.”