CRASH (A Logan Brothers Novel) (20 page)

“
Yeah Elle, if you get a
restraining order he won't be able to come near you or he'll be put
in fucking jail. Sounds like that's where he belongs.”

I didn't say a word. I'd only
been awake for 10 minutes or so.

When Lexi had come running in,
the world went fuzzy around me, everything fading in front of my
eyes. She said I'd passed out right there in the parking lot.

She'd managed to lift me into
the car and drove me to the hospital. It was nothing, I'd just
fainted, but she wanted to be sure. I thanked her for that as soon as
I woke.

Now it was dawning on me though.
Brad was back in my life, haunting my steps. He'd been there in the
audience as I danced.
How long had he been watching me? How long
had he been in town?

It wasn't that he'd ever made
any real threats of violence against me. It was more a suggestion in
the way he spoke, the way he looked at me. Back in California and now
here he'd told me he'd always love me, that he'd never hurt me.

His actions, however, spoke
otherwise.

But a restraining order? Was it
even possible to get one. I had no evidence that he was stalking me,
I never did. It was just a feeling I got back home, knowing his eyes
were constantly searching me out.
Didn't you need some sort of
real threat against you to get a restraining order? Didn't you need
evidence?

No one really got it. All my
friends just went on what I told them, filling in the gaps and
assuming he'd been violent against me or threatened to kill me or
something.

The truth was, I felt kinda
sorry for him. He'd loved me so much and I abandoned him. I'd hurt
him more than anyone ever could. So I tolerated his stares. I
tolerated it when he told me he still loved me. I tolerated it
because I understood the sort of pain he must have been feeling.

That's why I left. I left so he
could move on as much as I could. I left so that both of us could get
on with our lives. I'd hoped that my absence would have brought him
some peace, that he'd have found someone else and given up hope that
I'd ever take him back.

But no. He was here. He'd
tracked me down. I was back at square one.

The door to the room opened up
and a nurse walked in.

“
Right ladies,” she said.
“You're going to have to step back and give me some room. There's a
few tests I need to do.”

“
But she just fainted, that's
all. Can't we take her home?” It was Lexi.

“
There is no such thing as
just fainting. Most of the time it's harmless but on some occasions
it's a symptom of a more serious problem.”

She turned her attention from
the girls and onto me, her eyes consoling.

“
I'm sure its nothing, but
we'd like to keep you in overnight just to make sure.”

I nodded silently in the bed.

“
OK girls,” she continued,
turning back around, “you're going to have to leave us for a little
while. You're free to stay in the waiting room if you wish, although
visiting hours are almost over.”

“
No, it's OK, you should all
leave.” I said quickly. I didn't want to drag them all down.

“
But I want to stay,” said
Lexi. “Can't I stay with her overnight.” She looked around the
room. “There, I can sleep in that chair.”

The nurse shook her head. “I'm
sorry girls but no one can stay past 10, not unless someone is
seriously ill.”

“
Lexi, it's fine, I'll be all
right. I'm tired anyway so could do with the sleep.”

Truth be told I liked the idea
of sleeping in the hospital for the night. I doubt Brad knew I was
there. But he probably did know where my halls were by now.

Lexi begrudgingly nodded along
and stepped towards the door along with the other two.

“
I'll be back tomorrow morning
to take you home,” she said. She was so sweet, I loved her.

I smiled and nodded. “Thanks
babe, you're a star.”

With that they all filtered out
into the hall, leaving me alone with the nurse.

“
So what brought this on?”
she asked.

I signed and prepared my lie.
The truth would stay with me.

Crash

I felt deflated.

It wasn't how I'd imagine I'd
feel. Not now, not after what had happened.

I'd dreamed for months about
catching my fathers killer and getting my revenge. Now it all felt so
hollow, so empty. Something troubled me about it all, something I
couldn't place.

Had the wrong man died? Had
Lithgow really been the cold hearted killer I thought he was?

The thought had stayed my hand
when he sat in front of me. I knew that I'd regret it forever if I'd
pulled the trigger. Jones though, he could handle it. Just another
day at the office for him.

I'd dug myself into a corner. I
had no choice but to see Lithgow dead after taking him to that barn.
Had he gone free, I didn't know what would happen. If he really was
the man responsible for my father's death, my own life would be under
threat, as well as those of my family.

I couldn't take that risk.
Guilty or not, I had no choice but to remove him from the equation.

The days after I'd struggled to
sleep, thoughts of that night now dominating my mind. I turned things
over and over in my head, trying to convince myself that he was the
culprit. Yet there was always a piece missing, something in his eye,
something in his pleading voice that made me unsure.

I guess now I'd never know.

....

“
To the future,” I said,
raising my glass.

Four other glassed raised up to
meet mine in the middle.

“
And the prosperity of this
family.”

They all repeated the words in
unison, my body stirring at the sound. It was the first time I'd
gathered together all of my brothers to fill them in on my plan. Up
until now, only Kyle had been aware of the new casino project that
would send our family name into the stratosphere. Now it was time for
the others to be included.

I had plans for all of them,
plans to move them on from their current positions and bring all of
the family together to manage and run the casino and hotel we were
building. I wanted us all to benefit, I wanted us all to have a
single purpose, a single perspective. I wanted all of them to share
in my vision.

“
There was something else I
wanted to talk to you all about,” I said, “something you all
deserve to know.”

I could see them all leaning in,
gravitating towards me.

“
Our father has been avenged,”
I said, trying to inject some triumph into my voice. “The man who
killed him has been duly dealt with.” I felt a sting on my tongue
as I spoke, still not sure if I really believed the words.

I looked around at them all,
their eyes widening. All except Kyle's. His lowered to the floor. He
knew what happened that night.

“
Who was it?” asked Cade,
leaning in.

“
A man called Walter Lithgow.”

“
Lithgow?” asked Zack. “The
investor?” I was surprised he knew of him.

I nodded.

“
But why would he kill dad?”

“
Suffice to say they were old
business friends turned rivals. Things took an ugly turn and this is
the result.” I didn't want to go through it all again. I wanted to
put it out of my mind forever now.

“
Now understand that none of
this can ever leave this table. No one can ever speak of this again,
do you all understand? I just thought you all deserved to know.”

They all stared on at me and
nodded.

“
Good. Now lets raise a glass
to our father, Charles Logan. To dad.”

“
To dad.” They all said
together.

I sat back down in my seat. I
felt weary, tired. Tired of all of this, tired of thinking about my
father and Walter Lithgow, tired of wanting revenge. That lust had
been sated, replaced with a feeling of guilt and remorse. It weighed
heavy like a rock chained around my neck.

We sat in silence for a while,
around the table in the VIP section of the bar. I'd shut the entire
section off for the night, giving us total privacy. I wanted no one
hearing what I said, no one else nearby when I revealed all to my
brothers.

I sensed that they each had a
million questions running through their heads, so many things that
they wanted to straighten out about dads death. But I knew they
wouldn't question me, I knew they wouldn't push it. They'd seek
clarification later from Kyle. I'd leave it to him to explain, to
make them understand.

Right now, I just didn't want to
talk about it. Not now. Not ever.

....

My lack of sleep was beginning
to tell as the evening drew on. I told them that they should
celebrate, invite their girlfriends out and enjoy the evening on me.
I wasn't in the mood for such frivolities though. No, I wanted to be
alone.

I said my goodbyes and left the
VIP area, an exhaustion settling inside of me. As I rounded the
corner into the main bar I noticed Alice waiting for drinks. Tess was
alongside her, and Gem. I took this as a good opportunity to clear
the air.

I approached from behind and got
Alice's attention. She'd never taken to me and I knew why. Now,
however, I'd moved on from it all. I'd accepted that Kyle wanted to
be with her, and despite dad's wishes, I had to concede that it
wasn't my place to interfere.

“
Alice, can I have a word,”
I said, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

She turned, her face stony and
impassive, but curious. “Sure.”

I led her over to a free table
and sat down, seeing Tess and Gem come together at the bar and
immediately start whispering to each other. Those two loved a good
gossip.

“
Alice, I wanted to straighten
things out between us. I know that you've never liked me and rightly
so.”

Her eyes seem to perk up
slightly as I spoke. She clearly wasn't expecting an admission like
that.

“
I owe you an apology,” I
continued. “I see how much Kyle cares about you and you him. I
never should have tried to stand in the way of that. I'm sorry.”

Her expression softened quickly,
her deep frown loosening. I could see what Kyle saw in her. She was
stunningly beautiful.

“
I really appreciate that
Crash,” she said, her tone light. “Thank you.”

I smiled at her. If she was to
be my brothers long term partner, then she really would be family. If
so, I wanted her to trust me implicitly.

“
I suppose that Kyle has told
you about our plans?”

She nodded.

“
And I understand that you're
doing a business and management course?

She nodded again.

“
Well, perhaps you can help
us. Maybe we could find a position for you once you graduate, all
things going well with Kyle, that is.”

Her eyes broadened further. “You
mean, give me a job?”

I nodded. “Assuming you get
the desired grade in your degree and ace the interview.” I smiled,
seeing her do the same.

“
Crash, I don't know what to
say. You'd trust me to be part of the business?”

“
Sure. If Kyle's trusts you, I
trust you. You're becoming family Alice, and that's the number one
thing in the world.”

Her eyes were beginning to well
up. She looked overjoyed at my words, like she had been waiting for
acceptance from me forever or something.

“
You know, you can be kinda
sweet sometimes,” she said, a cheeky smile creasing her face. “I've
been wrong about you. I'm sorry.”

I shook my head. “No
apologies. Anything you've thought about me or said about me in the
past was probably just. I haven't been the easiest guy recently. This
whole thing with my father and becoming the head of this
family...it's been a lot of pressure. Now, though, all I want is for
this family to move forward together.”

“
I understand it must have
been hard, and I'm so sorry.” She really seemed to mean it, her
eyes deep with memory, as if she'd suffered the same in her past.

“
Elle really would be lucky to
have you.”

The name sent a shock through
me. Elle. I'd pushed her from my mind recently, consumed with other
thoughts. Clearly though, she'd talked about me to Alice.

“
Elle. How is she?”

My heartbeat rose a fraction as
Alice prepared to speak about her, and quickened further when I heard
her words.

“
Not good actually. She's
having a tough time at the moment.”

“
What's wrong?” I said
quickly, my face growing worried.

“
It's her ex. He accosted her
in a parking lot a few days ago, was a bit full on. She's really
shook up by it all, isn't quite sure what he'll do.”