Crashing Into Love (26 page)

Half an hour later the woods thinned and the sun beamed across a grassy meadow. Fiona followed Jake through to the crest of a hill, where they parked their bikes. Her body continued to vibrate long after she’d cut the engine.

She pulled her helmet off and hung it on the handlebar while she took in the mountains and the town in the distance.

“This is beautiful,” she said as he came to her side.

“So are you.” He held his hand out and helped her off the bike.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” She went up on tiptoes and kissed him. He smelled like he’d been baking in the sun, which on Jake was heavenly.

“I’m counting on it.” Hand in hand, he led her near the edge of the mountain and sank down to the grass, taking her with him. He slung an arm over her shoulder and sighed. “I like being with you again, Fi.”

“Me too.”

“Well, you always get to be with yourself, but for me it’s a treat.” He smiled at her and pulled her into a quick kiss. “You looked sexy as hell on that bike. Did it feel all right?”

“It felt amazing. Wild. I had forgotten how much fun it was to ride. I hadn’t realized how boring my life had become. You know, I go to work for eight to ten hours a day, sometimes in the office, other times on a work site. Usually camping out, and that’s fun, but it’s still work. I miss this. I miss just picking up and enjoying the afternoon.” She shaded her eyes from the sun and looked at him. Really looked at him. His cheeks were unshaven and his hair was mussed from wearing the helmet. His biceps were plump from harnessing the power of the bike, and he looked hotter than any guy she’d ever seen, but beyond his good looks, Jake radiated a different energy than he had a week ago. He was warm and thoughtful, and the hint of a smile that played on his lips seemed to have seated itself in his eyes, too.

“I knew I wanted to be with you, but I had forgotten how incredible it
felt
to spend time with you.”

He raised his brows in quick succession.

“Not like that. Well, like that, too, but I meant
being
with you. You’re so alive. I haven’t met anyone who can make me feel as energized as you do, and it’s more than just the dirt bikes or being here. We could have stayed in your cabin all day and I know I’d still feel the same way.” She touched his cheek. “It’s you, Jake. I’ve really missed you.”

He pressed his lips to hers. “If you’re surprised by how it feels to be with me, imagine how surprised I am at coming back together with you. At least you let yourself think about me. I can’t believe I fought the memories for so many years. There were times when fighting them nearly brought me to my knees, the ache was so bad, but I’d convinced myself that letting those memories in would be a thousand times worse than the ache of pushing them away.” He shook his head and looked out over the mountains. “I was so damn wrong, and it kills me. I hate to be wrong.”

He tilted his face toward her and smiled. “Well, that and the fact that maybe if I hadn’t fought so hard, we could have been together sooner.”

Jake pointed to a hawk sailing across the sky, wings spread wide. “How great would it be to be a hawk? Nothing to do but hunt and fly. No peers to impress, no schedule to adhere to.” He let out a loud breath, as if he were readying himself for something. “My life is crazy, Fi. You’ve seen what it’s become. Days like this are few and far between.”

“I know.” She looked down, feeling as though he were giving her a hint not to get too attached to spending time with him.

“But a good part of that is within my control.”

She lifted her eyes and met his steady gaze, hoping he couldn’t tell that her heart felt like it might crash through her chest.

“I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep—you know that about me.”

She nodded, choking back the painful reminder that she was the one who’d promised him forever and then broke up with him, not the other way around.

“I’m not asking you for anything, Jake. I have never stopped loving you. I wanted a chance for us again, and I feel like you’ve given us that, but I don’t expect you to promise me anything more.”

He reached an arm around her as he looked away with a slight nod and pulled her closer to him. A few minutes later he rose to his feet and helped her up to hers. Without a word he took her hand and began walking toward a thicket of trees.

“What do you want, Fi?” he asked as they weaved through the thick branches.

The woods smelled like pine and grass with a hint of musk. Fiona thought she smelled fear in the air, then realized it was coming from her. How should she answer? Total honesty?
You, Jake. I want you. Forever.
She hesitated, worried that perhaps after their incredibly romantic time together he’d rethought what he really wanted. Maybe he was regretting spreading the word about his house not being open for parties, or for telling the girls who texted him that he was off the market.

Her stomach sank.

“I guess I don’t know how to answer that.” At least that was honest, and she’d put the ball back in his court. She wanted to ask him what he wanted, but when she opened her mouth to ask, fear stopped her.

He nodded, and they continued walking in silence. Eventually they came to another grassy clearing.

“You can ask me for things,” he said as they sat on a fallen tree. He picked a weed from beside the stump and twisted it in his fingers.

“I know I can.” She set her hand on his thigh, and he smiled. She knew he was telling her that whatever she wanted, he was willing to try to give, but
things
weren’t what she wanted. She wanted Jake. All of him.

“Do you want to know what I want?” He dropped the weed and rested his forearms on his knees.

“You tell me. Do I?”
Please say yes. Please, please tell me I do
.

She felt his finger on her chin as he brought her eyes into focus and searched them for an uncomfortably long time, making her even more nervous.

“Fiona Steele,” he said just above a whisper. It sounded intimate and important. “Is that fear I see in your eyes?”

“Maybe.” The word crept off her tongue.

His brows knitted together. “Why, Fi?”

She pressed her lips together to keep from crying.
Because I love you. Because I don’t want to hear if this isn’t as real to you as it was last night.

Why was she so worried? As she met his gaze, she realized that her love for him had deepened, and the fear of losing him now was sending her over the edge. She had to tell him. There were no two ways about it. Not telling him would just make her worry and feel even more insecure, and she really didn’t want to be that person.

“Because, Jake. Because I love you, and I’ve loved you forever.”
Why am I talking so loud?
She couldn’t stop the truth from flowing like a river. “Because when I woke up in your arms, I let myself dream of doing it every day for the rest of my life.” She pushed to her feet and paced. “Because I don’t want to hear you tell me that you’ve changed your mind and that this whole thing was a mistake. That you need a different woman every night, or…or…”

Jake stood, and she turned away, horrifically embarrassed. She closed her eyes and held her breath, wishing she could sprout wings and fly away like the hawk. She felt his hands on her waist.

“Are you done?”

“I think so, but I don’t trust myself.” She clenched her eyes tighter.

“Hm.”

Even with her eyes closed she felt him moving closer to her, felt his warm breath whisper across her cheek.

“If you don’t open your eyes, my hands might start to wander.”

She laughed and opened her eyes.
Yup
. His broad chest was right in front of her, covered with a thin black tank top that she wanted to tear off so she could feel his bare chest, touch it, kiss it, and revel in it. She touched her forehead to the center of his chest and breathed him in.

“When has that ever stopped you before?” She tilted her face up and met his serious gaze.

“It wouldn’t stop me now, but I knew it would make you laugh.” He hooked his fingers in her belt loops and tugged her hips against his. The rough contact sent a shiver through her. No man had ever made her body react like Jake did. She was so screwed if he turned her away. He’d already ruined her for any other man.

“It’s not often that I see this side of you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. I’m an open book to you.”

“In some ways, maybe. But this feels new.” He pressed his arousal against her. “Well,
that
doesn’t feel new, but seeing you embarrassed and flustered does. I kind of like it.”

She halfheartedly pressed her fists to his chest, hoping he’d say more.

“You’re adorable when you’re flustered.” He kissed her forehead.

“You’re not helping.” He was making her feel better, but he was also skirting the real issue, which made butterflies start flapping around in her stomach.

“Okay. You’re right. Let me address the real issue. You love me.” He smiled.

She waited for him to say more, but apparently the frustratingly handsome stuntman she loved was playing a different type of stunt, because he just grinned like he’d discovered gold and should be bowed to.

“Okay, yes,” she relented. His reveling was driving her batty. “I love you.”

“Good. Now that we’ve that cleared up…”

He turned to walk away, and she yanked him back by the tail of his shirt.

“What? Get back here. You can’t just leave me hanging like that, you big oaf.”

He laughed and folded her into his arms, then sealed his lips over hers while still laughing.

“What do you want me to clear up? How much I love to kiss you? Or haven’t you noticed already?” He kissed her again, eagerly and thoroughly sinfully. “Or maybe how much I love to bury myself inside you? I could show you that here, too.”

“No!” She laughed. “Wait. Yes!”

He kissed her again, muffling her laugh.

“Or maybe you need to hear how you have totally captivated my heart, my mind, and, well, you know you
own
my body.”

She felt a tear slip down her cheek as he lowered his forehead to hers.

“Oh, Jake.”

“From the moment I met you, I never stood a chance of not falling in love with you. I never stopped loving you, so there was no need to fall
back
in love with you. I just had to let myself
feel
again. And only you could make that happen. I love you, Fiona.” His tone softened. “I wanted to find a romantic way to tell you, but I can’t sit by and watch you worry.” He took her hand in his and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “I don’t want a different woman every night, and I don’t think this has been any kind of mistake. This has been an awakening, Fi. The best damn awakening I could ever hope for.”

He leaned in close, brushing her lips lightly as he whispered, “I’m so thankful that you didn’t give up on me. You knew what I needed, and what I needed was you. I love you, Fiona, with every ounce of my being.”

Their lips met in a long, loving kiss that magnified every word he’d said.

SUNDAY MORNING JAKE was awake before the sun, as he was most mornings, in preparation for their morning run. Today, with Fiona’s sweet softness draped over his body, running was the last thing on his mind. Ever since they’d reconnected, he’d felt himself changing. And since he’d told Fiona how he really felt, he’d felt himself opening up to her even more and becoming even more like the man he used to be. The knots in his stomach eased, and the feeling of needing to be doing something every minute of the day had lessened. Before Fiona walked back into his life, he hadn’t fully realized why he was on such a fast path to oblivion.

Fiona’s thigh was resting on his, her arm stretched across his chest. Her breath moved his chest hair just enough to tickle. He ran his hand down the curve of her hip, and she sighed in her sleep. He had a clear view of her slightly parted lips, which brought back memories of the night before. They’d grilled out on the deck. Then, after dinner, they’d gone for a walk and shared a bottle of wine. They’d shared a lounge chair on the deck and stargazed long into the night.
Stargazed
. How had he changed so much so quickly? He hadn’t stargazed since they were teenagers.

He turned his head and looked out the window. Dawn was just beginning to break, and as Fiona turned over, giving him a lovely view of her derriere, the sun crept higher. As did the sheets above his erection. He slid his thigh over the back of hers and his arm across her shoulder, then rested his head on the back of her arm, nearly completely blanketing her slim figure. Beneath the fragrance of soap from the bath they’d shared the evening before was Fiona’s unique, womanly scent, which he adored. She breathed deeply, and he pressed a kiss to her warm skin. He had missed this type of intimacy. Now that she was with him, he never wanted to wake up without her again. He finally understood how his siblings had fallen in love so fast. He’d been so adamant about never going down the monogamous road again—and with Fiona, once he kissed her again, it was all he ever wanted. It surprised—and pleased—the hell out of him.

How had everyone close to him known what he needed, and how had he missed it? He tightened his arms around Fiona, wondering why some other guy hadn’t swept her off her feet before now. He kissed her shoulder and somehow innately knew that even if another man had tried, she wouldn’t have been interested. Her love for him was palpable in everything she did and said, and it was bigger than both of them, as, he was realizing, was his love for her.

She turned over and smiled up at him, blinking away the haze of sleep.

“Ready for our run?” she asked groggily.

He kissed her cheek, and in that moment Jake realized he hadn’t really changed that much at all. Fiona had cracked the armor that had weighed him down and peeled back his layers to who he really was, revealing the skin he was happiest wearing. He felt freer than he’d ever felt in his life.

“How about we skip our run?” He ran his thumb along her jaw, then trailed kisses along the same path.

“But…” She closed her eyes as he kissed his way down to her breast and dragged his tongue over her nipple. “Oh, God.”