Crashing Into Love (6 page)

Jake ran his eyes over Rex’s brother Treat, carrying his new baby boy, Dylan, in one arm and holding his four-year-old daughter Adriana’s hand. Adriana was named for their mother, who had passed away when they were very young. Treat’s wife, Max, reached for Jake’s arm.

“Come on, Jake. Treat’s going to be busy dancing with Adriana. I’ll need a dance partner.”

“Dance?” He arched a brow toward his brothers, hoping they’d pick up on his sarcasm and save him from dancing.

Pierce gave him a shove toward the grassy area that had been cleared and lined with hay bales to be used as a dance floor. “Go on.”

“A’righty, then,” Jake relented. He supposed he might as well try to have a good time. He was a damn good dancer, but he’d have to watch his moves. Jake was used to dirty dancing with the ladies back in LA, not dancing with his cousin’s wife.

Max was an easy dance partner. She was confident and kept up small talk, which to Jake’s surprise, eased his tension. He’d been so damn focused on avoiding Fiona that he had lost track of how nice it was to catch up with everyone.

“What’s it like coming back home?” Max asked as Kaylie belted out another song.

Jake thought about the question. He was surrounded by his brothers and their fiancées dancing and laughing. He’d missed his cousins. His uncle Hal had six children. Treat was the oldest, and then came Rex, Dane, Savannah, Josh, and Hugh. All but Dane, Rex, and Josh were happily married now, and those three were engaged. When they were younger, they’d spent a lot of time together, but over the last few years Jake had been wrapped up in his career, and they’d seen each other only a handful of times.

“It feels good to be home.” The small town had its downfalls. One of them being that Fiona could show up at any time; the other being gossip that ran thicker than sludge, and of course Trusty was…Trusty. It was small and safe, not at all the way Jake liked to live his life. Although there had been a time when he’d been so comfortable there that he’d imagined him and Fiona getting married after college and living outside of LA, in a cabin in the woods, enjoying the same quiet life they’d grown up with in Trusty. He’d buried that pipe dream ages ago, and he had no room for anything quiet in his life now.

“I know Treat misses seeing you.” The music slowed and Max pulled her dark hair back and secured it with an elastic band. She was a beautiful woman, slim and bright eyed. A natural beauty. “Can you spare a slow dance?”

Jake shrugged. “Sure, but would you rather I took care of Adriana and Dylan so you can dance with Treat?”

“Obviously you’ve never tried to get Adriana away from her daddy.” She nodded at Adriana, who was wrapped in Treat’s arms, her lithe arms around his neck, her cheek pressed to his. Treat was a formidable man at six foot six, the same height as his father, Hal. Adriana looked even smaller in his big arms.

“Where’s Dylan?” Jake asked.

Max nodded toward Jade, who had the baby bundled in her arms, a loving look in her eyes. Rex was gazing over her shoulder, his dark eyes soft.

“She wants one,” Max said. “Can you tell?”

“Oh, yeah. Looks like Rex is on board with that.” He placed his hands on Max’s lower back, and they fell into an easy, slow dance.

“I know it’s kind of taboo to talk about this, or at least it seems that way, but what about you, Jake? Do you ever think about settling down?”

Something about Max’s sincere gaze brought out a side of Jake he didn’t often allow himself to acknowledge. Thinking of Fiona, he said, “There was a time when I was sure I would.” He shrugged, as if to say ’nuf said.

Max didn’t take the hint.

“But not anymore?” He could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew she was pushing his buttons.

“Let’s just say that I’m not the settling-down type anymore.”

“Why?”

He gave her a deadpan stare.

“Oh, come on, Jake. I know your rep, but look at Hugh.” His cousin Hugh was a race-car driver who used to live as fast of a lifestyle as Jake, until he fell in love with Brianna Heart and her daughter, Layla. They were married weeks after they met. Tonight the newest addition to their family, ten-month old Christian, was bundled in a stroller. Hugh had one arm around Layla and the other around Brianna, who had a hand on the stroller. They took up a good amount of space on the dance floor.
One big, happy family
. Even Jake couldn’t deny the tweaking he felt in his heart.

If he can do it…
He didn’t allow himself to finish the thought.

“He does look happy.” He cleared his throat and turned away.

“People change, Jake.”

He looked down at Max and shook his head. “Okay, Max. Who put you up to this?” He narrowed his eyes and looked at each of his brothers, though none of them were looking in his direction.

“Nobody.” She fidgeted with the ends of her hair and shifted her eyes away.

“Mm-hm.” He wasn’t buying it. A tap on his shoulder pulled his attention.

“It was me, but Max would never tell you that.” His mother came up from behind him and smiled at Max. “Thanks, Maxy. Would you mind if I cut in?”

“Of course not. Thanks for the dances, Jake, and if my opinion means anything, I think you’re too great of a guy not to let yourself fall in love.”

Jake rolled his eyes and settled into his mother’s arms.

“You shouldn’t use Max like that.”

“I didn’t use her.” Catherine looked pretty. She usually wore her dark hair long with a side part, and tonight she had it pinned away from her face with a barrette, accentuating her high cheekbones.

“What would you call it?” He scanned the dance floor and wasn’t quite as relieved as he thought he’d be that Fiona was still nowhere in sight. Maybe she wouldn’t show up after all. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, either.

“Oh, Jake. I call it a mother’s job. Isn’t it hard to always be wound so tight? Isn’t it exhausting?”

“Mom, I don’t really want to have this conversation.” He clenched his jaw, and she reached up and stroked it.

“I can see that.”

He shifted his eyes away.

“I only want you to be happy,” she said.

“Thanks, Mom. That’s a nice thing to say.” Despite the fact that she was pressuring him, he enjoyed this time with his mother when he wasn’t otherwise occupied with harassing his brothers. “How are you doing, Ma?”

“Me? Good. You know me. Not much gets my goat.”

“Dating?” He’d never actually seen his mother with a man, but he would like for her to be happy, and he assumed that she was reflecting her own desires on him.

She laughed. “Been there, done that.”

He furrowed his brow. “I guess so. Then why are you pushing for me to go down that road?”

“Oh, honey. Parents want their children to be happy, and just because my love life turned out not quite as I’d hoped doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love.” She looked over her shoulder at Wes and Callie, dancing cheek to cheek, and beyond them, Pierce and Rebecca, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“Love is wonderful, Jake.” She met his gaze. “Of course, you’ve been there, so you know that.”

“I seem to remember love kicking the crap out of me.”

His mother glanced over his shoulder. “It does that. Kicks your ass, then sucks you right back in and washes all that hurt so far away you barely remember it. But you have to let it in, Jake. You have to be open to it.”

“I think I’ve had enough pushing for one night.” Jake took a step back. “I love you, Ma, but there are some things I have no desire to relive.”

“Jake.” She put one hand on her hip and raised the other palm toward the sky like she was waiting for an explanation.

He waved her off and stalked off.

“Hey, Jake.” Emily grabbed his arm as he passed. One look at his angry face and she let go like he’d burned her. “You okay?”

“Fine. Thanks, Em. I’ll be back.”
Maybe
.

He kept his eyes trained on the trampled grass as he headed as far away from the people he loved as he could. The farther from the band he walked, the softer the music became. After talking with his mother and Max, he felt raw, exposed, like a wound with the bandage ripped off. He slipped around to the back of the snack building and leaned against the concrete wall. His head relaxed back, connecting with the cool concrete blocks with a low
thunk
. He scrubbed his hand down his face and placed one booted foot flat against the wall. His eyes drifted closed, and he breathed deeply. What the hell was going on with him? He’d lived in an iron box since he was a young man. Survival of the strongest. Survival of the fittest.

Survival of those who could hide the best.

“Jake?”

Hell
. Jake opened his eyes and leveled them at Fiona, who was looking too damn hot for his current frame of mind in her sweet-ass cutoffs with a silky top that outlined her luscious breasts.

Screwed
. That’s exactly what he was.

He sank his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey, Fiona.”

He didn’t even have the energy to be angry. His mother was right; being angry was exhausting. Although, with Fiona closing the distance between them, rocking her cowgirl boots in a way that had always turned him on, he could sure use a second wind.

She smiled, the kind of smile that used to melt his moods like butter—and seemed to have a similar effect today.

“You’re actually talking to me today?” She leaned against the wall beside him.

Every nerve came to life from her close proximity. He nailed his eyes to the grass and shrugged. “Guess so.”

“Good.” She sighed. “I was beginning to think you hated me.”

He closed his eyes for a beat. He wanted to believe he hated her, but hearing it from her lips made him realize how far from hating her he really was.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I was a bit of a prick.”

“Shea says I shouldn’t blame you.”

“I always liked Shea.” He felt himself smile and stole a glance at Fiona.
Aw, hell
. Bad move. Her easy smile and mischievous gaze drew him in, and it took all of his focus to tear his eyes away again.

Silence filled the space between them. Not that there was much space. Jake could practically feel her breaths as if they were his own.

“I’m sorry I bombarded you at the bar and on your run. I would say I didn’t mean to, but it was pretty deliberate.”

He heard the smile in her voice and couldn’t stop himself from looking. Her smile used to set his world aflame.

Well, damn
.

Apparently, it still made his stomach go funky.

He pushed from the wall, hands still in his pockets, and kicked at the grass. He had to do something with all the nervous energy that was coiling tight low in his gut and turning to something else altogether.

“Well, congrats. You’ve knocked me off-balance. Not many women can say that. In fact, I can’t think of another who could.” He met her gaze and paused. Had to, for the surge of heat that he’d been pretending never existed was burning a path between them.

“What do you want, Fi?”
Fi. Where the hell did that endearment come from?
He hadn’t said it or allowed himself to think it in years.

She shrugged one shoulder and nibbled on her lower lip. “I’m not sure. I just…”

Just what? Wanted to fuck me up a little more?

He clenched his jaw to keep from allowing his mouth to get him in trouble.

She pushed from the wall and stepped right past his comfort zone, made his body cord tighter. And hotter. She pinched his T-shirt at his abs, the way she used to. By the look on her face, the old habit took her as much by surprise as it had taken him, but she didn’t let go.

“Jake…” His name hung in the air between them, filled with unspoken wonder and pillowed by desire that was becoming thicker by the second. “I…What would you say if your ex realized she’d made a mistake? A big mistake. And wanted to try to get back together?”

He gripped her slim, feminine wrist. She held tightly to his shirt. She had a strong grip. Fiona was strong in so many ways, but he remembered her weaknesses. He stepped forward, and she stepped back. Her back met the concrete. Jake set his free hand against the wall, beside her head, and leaned in close. She smelled like sweet apples and warm cinnamon. Jake had the urge to touch her hair, the way he used to love to run his fingers through it. He pressed his palm flat against the wall to keep from doing just that. With his other hand, he removed her hand from his shirt and pressed her wrist against the wall. His body ached to press forward, to feel her hips against his again in a way it had never ached for any other woman. Because with Fiona, he knew the depths of pleasure making love to her would bring and the power she had to pull him under her spell. The noise of the fair fell away. There was only the two of them and the heat sizzling between them.

“It’s too late, Fi. I’m not the same guy I was.” His chest burned, like it did the day she’d broken up with him all those years ago. He couldn’t fall back down into that dark abyss. He gritted his teeth against the want that was driving through him with the power of dynamite.

She blinked up at him through thick lashes and dragged her tongue over her teeth, sending lust straight to his groin. Her free hand touched his chest, and he lowered his eyes to it, wondering if she could feel the way his heart was thundering—and if hers was doing the same. By her heaving breasts and the darkening of her baby blues, he imagined it was.

“But maybe somewhere inside you still are,” she said just above a whisper.

He closed his eyes again. This was dangerous territory. They were too damn close, and it felt too damn good. He dropped his hands, freeing her. Her hand fisted in his shirt, keeping him close.

“Fiona.” He breathed her name and wanted to breathe it again and again and again. She was deliciously familiar—the closeness, the challenge of what he should do and what she knew he wanted to do, the revving of his fucking engine that had him hard as a rock. Damn his body. Damn him.
Damn her
. He didn’t need to get tangled up with her again. He’d barely survived her the first time.

“I’m not that same guy.” He gripped her wrist, tore her hand from his shirt, and forced himself to step back. “You don’t know me anymore, and trust me, Fi. You wouldn’t like me if you did.”
I’m not sure I like me
. He scrubbed his hand down his face and turned away.