Crave All Lose All (13 page)

“I love you, daddy,” my little man proclaimed over the phone.

“I love you too,” I returned smiling.

It was his first day at a new school and he was excited about going to kindergarten. September 8
^th
was his fifth birthday and his mother threw him a nice party at Chucky Cheese in Long Island. I offered to help with the party but she argued that she didn’t want her son’s birthday to be funded with drug money. That made me upset and we had an argument about it. Chandra was cool with taking the gifts I bought for him for school but it became a problem when I wanted to help with the party. The bitch was contradictory and it was pissing me off.

“You gonna become the next Albert Einstein, right?”

“Daddy, I ain’t that smart,” he said.

“Yes you are Vinny. You’re smart, so never doubt yourself. You’re my little genius,” I told him.

After my talk with my son, Spoon knocked on the door. I let him in.

“You ready do that thang?”

“Yeah, give me a minute,” I replied.

“Early bird gets it,” he said.

“Gimme a second…”

“Where’s your moms?” he asked.

“At work, seven to five shift.”

“You in the game four months and your moms don’t have a clue?”

“I got my ways,” I said.

“Still parking ‘round the corner, huh? You think your neighbors don’t talk?”

“Yo, they ain’t in my business like that, Spoon,” I said.

“It’s all good, you do your thang, I ain’t telling. Besides, I’m hearing, you’re about to be promoted. I’m hearing good things about you.”

“Tryin’ to stay focus, Spoon,” I smiled.

“On what…?”

“What you mean?”

“Is this long term for you? I mean, you still got your dreams right?”

I knew where he was going. We locked eyes for a short moment.

“I ain’t forget,” I said.

“You had enough saved when you bought that truck.”

“Spoon, don’t criticized me. Cuz you been in this game long before me and you ain’t going nowhere. I know you looked out for me when that shit went down wit’ that white bitch in LI and I ain’t never gonna forget. I’m grown. Don’t baby me. I made my decision and I’m gonna live wit’ it.”

He nodded and said, “Vince, you right. I ain’t trying to baby-sit. I’m looking out.”

I took a sip of tea, “I trust you to have my back.”

“That’s my thang then I got you,” he countered.

I finished my tea and we were out the front door. I got into Spoon’s Range Rover and we headed to Brooklyn.

We ended up in East New York. Spoon made a few stops, talked to his peoples and kept it moving. I was chilling, listening to the radio, when I heard Spoon say, “You gotta make your bones soon.”

“What you mean?”

“You planning on stepping up, you gonna have to make your bones.”

“I already told Tyriq I ain’t down. I’m just trying to make my paper.”

“It don’t matter what you feeling. If you wanna be trusted, you gotta do that work thang. Work can get ugly,” he said. “If you refuse then you’ll labeled a snitch, weak and believe me, you don’t want to be neither.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked.

“You still want me looking over your shoulders while you do your thang?” he asked. “I mean, it’s your decision, right?”

“You gonna throw that comment in my face?”

“Vince, you’re in deep. No matter what Tyriq got you locked in the crew. You know a lot about our organization. If you don’t go through with it, it’s gonna bring suspicion on yourself. When niggas doubt you… You’re a smart man. You already know the outcome.”

“I know. How soon…?” I sighed.

“Like tonight, yo.”

“What?”

“Yo, just get in do your thang and get out, no hesitation. I got your back on this, Vince,” he assured.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“You’ll find out tonight. Let’s just chill,” he said pushing the Range down Atlantic Av.

My heart was racing. I was worried. I knew Spoon had my back. But murder was a whole new ball game for me.

“When was the first time you killed someone?” I asked. When it came to violence, I heard Spoon was a nightmare on the streets. He was a cool nigga willing to give the shirt off his back, if he liked and respected you. Spoon stopped at a light, looked at me and advised, “When you kill a nigga, shut the fuck up about it and act like it never happened.”

I nodded.

Around three in the afternoon, we were at one of his baby-mamma cribs. Melissa was a beautiful woman, who gave birth to three of Spoon’s children. Ryan was seven, three year old Octavia and Aaron, one year. There was Wendy, his other son’s baby mother. Jaime was four. Spoon got around with the ladies, but loved his kids even more. He enjoyed spending time with them. I was Jaime and Ryan’s godfather. I loved and treated Spoon’s kids like they were my own.

Melissa cooked steak and eggs for us. I chowed down on her cooking like the homeless. We spent about two hours over Melissa’s place. I played Play station with Ryan and laughed it up with Melissa and Spoon.

We left Melissa’s crib and ended up in Flatbush, near Kings Highway. We rolled up to a nice looking four story brownstone on a lonely, tree-lined street. Spoon parked and stared at the place.

“What we here for?” I asked.

“That right there is the future,” he stated.

“What, you moving?”

“Nah, I copped that three months back, paid half a million. It’s on the market for 1.4 million. How you like it?” he asked.

“It’s nice.”

“I got four more thangs going in Brooklyn just like this one. I want to rent ‘em out to families and businesses, make a profit. You can never go wrong with owning a piece of nice real estate, especially a brownstone or some land. In this country, you need some kind of ownership. People gotta live somewhere and this country is gonna continue to build. I’m trying to get
mines and have something for my kids.”

The only other time I saw Spoon beaming so much, was when he was with his kids.

“A lot of these young’ns think having bling and tricked out cars is life, that don’t even compare to this right here.” He pointed to the brownstone. “You wanna go in and check it out?”

“No doubt…”

We got out. The building was in good shape. I followed behind Spoon and checked out the polished hardwood floors and high ceiling. It was huge and empty, with an original staircase and a huge backyard.

“You know I always had dreams of getting into real estate. I don’t care how I fucking did it,” he said admiring the place.

“It’s definitely nice.”

After seeing the place, we drove to Queens and linked up with Tyriq at his lounge on Linden. It was still early and the place was empty. Tyriq had live-in quarters above the place. It was where he liked fucking bitches.

We walked up one flight of stairs to meet with Tyriq. I noticed Iris coming out of the bathroom tying a small robe around her. I caught a quick glimpse of her glistering nude body and my dick jumped. She caught me staring and smiled.

“Hey Vince…”

“What’s good, Iris,” I replied.

She was scantily clad, not giving a fuck, and her eyes stayed locked on me. I kept my composure, knowing she was wifey to the boss. My eyes watched her ass cheeks that were barely covered by the short thin robe. Tyriq emerged from the bedroom wearing some brown shorts and sporting a six pack.

“Ayyite, my niggas,” he greeted.

“What’s good,” Spoon and I both greeted, giving Tyriq daps.

“Spoon talked to you about tonight, right?”

“You already know how I feel,” I said.

“Hold on,” he said. He went over to the bedroom door and closed it.

“Ayyite, you trying to come up…? This is how you do it if you want respect. Vince, we boys but in this game we on some different shit. I want you to prove your manhood. Let these niggas know what you about on these
fucking streets.” Tyriq proclaimed sternly, locking eyes with me.

I was still unsure when I nodded and asked.

“So who you want got?”

“We don’t talk on that here. I just need to know you ready. You’re doin’ good out there, my nigga. It’s time for you to step your game up. So you wit’ us?”

“Yeah,” I reluctantly answered.

“You a soldier Vince,” Tyriq said. He gave me dap, looked at me and said, “Us, right?”

“Us,” I said, and the embraced became a bear hug.

Doing the hit would solidify my position with Tyriq, and the crew. Like them I’d be a murderer and it would be official between us.

I rode back home thinking about tonight. Spoon dropped me off and I walked through the front door trying to get my head right. I was nervous as fuck.
You need to do this
,
so they won’t do you
, I kept telling myself.

I walked into the house and saw my mother seated on the large brown sectional, with the photo album on her lap, and listening to Bootsy Collins’
I’d Rather Be with You
, staring at old pictures of the family, my pops and us when I was young. She seemed burned out from her daily ten-hour shifts at the job.

“Hey mom,” I greeted her with a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, hey how was work today, sweetie?” she asked.

“It was cool, getting more overtime.”

I hated lying to my moms.

“See, I told you…all you needed was to be patient, have your trust in God and things would work out for you,” she stated proudly.

“Yeah, you did. I see you got the photo book out,” I said, trying to take her mind off of me and work.

“Yeah, just looking through some old photos of the family,” she said.

I noticed a picture in her hand that was of herself and my father captured in a loving hug.

“Your father was such a handsome man, like you, Vincent,” my
mother said looking up at me.

“Yeah, he was. And you’re still beautiful, ma.”

She smiled. “Are you in for the night? You want me to cook something? Your aunt Linda should be home soon. I should start making dinner.”

“Nah, you get your rest ma. I’m ‘bout to head back out soon, meet up wit’ some of the fellas and get a drink or two,” I said.

“You be careful, don’t be out there drinking and driving.”

“Nah, you know I got better sense than that.”

“Okay, Vincent. You know I always trust you,” she said.

“Yeah…I know,” I replied coyly.

I was about to head to my room, when I heard my mother say, “Oh, Vincent, this Sunday, come with me to church. You haven’t been to church in a long while.”

I smiled.
What the fuck
, I thought, of all the days to bring up church. My moms must have a sixth sense. Maybe it was a sign about tonight.

“Alright, I’ll think about it, ma,” I said.

“You need to come. The pastor asked about you. He wants to see you,” she said.